


Running for president

by Misslill15



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 83,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27216106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misslill15/pseuds/Misslill15
Summary: Clarke is an A-student with her mind focused on one goal, to become the schools president. The school year however doesn't start to well as she finds out that no other than Lexa Woods is running against her.Angst, jealousy and drama - say no more. The girls are ready to get dirty to win this fight, none of them expected to catch feelings on the way though... opsieTrailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6676rCLKl3A
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Costia/Lexa (The 100)
Comments: 528
Kudos: 481





	1. Who are you again?

”Look who’s back again” Raven glared at the entrance of the school cafeteria, she wasn’t the only one.  
”And seem’s like they are back together” Octavia raised an eyebrow as she took another bite of her food.  
”They look like a bad version of charlie’s angels” Clarke said annoyed as she studied the group of friends, all dressed in black and mostly leather.  
”Lexa is like a goddess, can you guys see how everyone just starring in awe at her?” Raven scoffed.  
”Costia must be glad” Octavia said as she watched how the brunette hugged Lexa almost to mark that she was her’s again.  
”Did I tell you guys that she is running against me as the schools president?” Clarke sighed.  
”What, how could you forget to tell us that?” Raven slapped her gently on her bare arms.  
”Ouch” Clarke shrugged. ”Maybe I wished she wouldn’t come back from her vacation…I mean who takes a break two weeks after the school just started?” She questioned her friends.  
”I mean did you see her Instagram posts?” Octavia asked them. ”She really is filthy rich”  
”Her father is” Raven corrected her.  
”And that is why the school allowed this, he donates tons of money” Clarke added.  
”Still…”  
”What are we talking about?” Bellamy sat down with his tray filled with food.  
”You always eat like you have never seen food before” Octavia looked at her brother.  
”As the team captain of the soccer team you got to stay strong sis” He smiled as he took a big bite out of his sandwich.  
”Lexa is running against Clarke as the schools president”  
”Oh shit, people really look up to her”  
”Bellamy” Octavia slapped her brother.  
”Whats up with the hitting today?” Clarke sighed.  
”What did I do?”  
”You’re not really helping here?” Octavia hinted and looked over at Clarke.  
”Come on, people adore you here…and you have tons of students that look up to you”  
”Did you know that she fucking ignored me as we sat down with the principal to announce that we applied?”  
”Rude…” Raven looked over at Lexa again.  
”I wished her good luck and she just left like I wasn’t there?” Clarke had to look over as well, the brunette was just sitting there with her feet on the table and stupid smirk on her face, like she owned this place.  
”She sticks to her people I guess?” Octavia suggested.  
”Still a fucking thank you is not that hard” Raven didn’t agree.  
”Bellamy, you should work with me on my campaign having the team captain could actually gain me a few more votes” Clarke looked over at her childhood friend.  
”Yeah anything you need” Bellamy nodded.  
”And…” Clarke looked at her friends. ”Yes I still need both of you don’t worry” She knew them to well.  
”So did you guys see the place Lexa visited, it was sick” Bellamy brought up the same subject.  
”Do you both stalk Instagram or something?” Clarke said annoyed.  
”Don’t pretend you didn’t see them views” Raven chuckled.  
”And that body” Bellamy chuckled but didn’t get the response he hoped for, he was not hanging with his boys right now.  
”Of course you only noticed the bikini pictures” Octavia shook her head.  
”Her body is fire though, when did she have time to get abs?” Raven was impressed at least.  
”Can we please stop talking about Lexa?” Clarke buried her face, she was stressed enough about this.  
”Well…” Bellamy cleared his throat and looked over at the littles stage that was placed in the school cafeteria, Lexa was fixing the microphone.  
”What the fuck?” Clarke said under her breath.  
”HEEEELLOO STUDENTS” She greeted them all with a big beautiful smile, there was no denying that she was gorgeous. People started applauding and whistling at her. ”I hope you all had an amazing summer” She continued. ”As you all know my family really cares about this school, as much as I do…”  
”She’s not…” Clarke wined.  
”I think she is…” Raven put a comforting hand on Clarke’s shoulder.  
”I wanted to let you know that it’s imported to me that every single one off you have a voice in this school, that you are safe and respected. I don’t care for any other bullshit and therefor I just wanted to inform you all that I am running for the SCHOOLS PRESIDENT” She raised her voice and it got loud with cheering.  
”Sneaky bitch…We where not allowed to announce this yet” Clarke swore.  
”And I know how much you all already miss summer but I want to make sure you all have the best year ever…but I am also sentimental and therefor I am inviting you for a party at my place on Friday” It got really crazy in the cafeteria now, it was loud and chaotic. ”Let’s all celebrate together, for the amazing summer we had…and for the amazing school year to come. VOTE FOR LEXA WOODS” She ended her speech and students where actually standing up applauding her.  
”I can’t believe she just did that” Clarke looked at her friends.  
”I wonder if her house looks as amazing as the pictures” Raven wondered.  
”You guys can’t seriously considering going to that party?” Clarke questioned them.  
”You have to go, you can’t seem pity now Clarke…keep your friends close but your enemies closer” Octavia told her. ”Or whatever they say”  
”For once I agree with my sister” Bellamy looked at Clarke. ”Come on, she will get bored of this in a week or so, just go there - wish her luck again and plan something bigger to surprise everyone with. Be smart, I know you are” He smiled.  
”Maybe you guys are right, I won’t let her distract me. I actually have well planned ideas for this year and ideas that will please everyone”  
”See that’s our girl” Raven smiled at her.  
”But…I do have more important stuff than watching everyone worship her, see you guys later?”  
”Yeah” They all smiled at her before she rushed away to study.

Friday came quickly and Clarke wasn’t fully pleased with the idea to go over to Lexa’s party, she hadn’t seen much of the brunette at school luckily and there had been no more speeches. Clarke was busy as it was, a lot of extra shifts at work and keeping her homework on track.  
”Relax girl” Raven smiled at her, the latina had cleaned up nice with a part of black jeans, a black shirt revealing some cleavage and a red leather jacket, lips matching.  
”I’m trying” Clarke sighed. ”I just can’t focus on having fun when I have tons going on right now”  
”See it as a way to gain votes” Octavia suggested, she was sat by her boyfriend Lincoln in the cab with a cute dress on.  
”We got you” Lincoln tried to cheer her up as well.  
”Yes relax now” Bellamy laughed and handed her a bottle filled with vodka and orange juice.  
”Fine” She grabbed the bottle and took a big sip out of it while her friends cheered on her some more. 

”This looks like a fucking mansion” Raven gasped as they got out of their cab.  
”Damn” Clarke was impressed as well, it was a mansion already filled with drunk teenagers.  
”Let’s have some fun guys” Bellamy grabbed an arm around Clarke’s shoulder and they entered the party, almost felt like they where a part of some crazy movie. The inside of the house was even more magical than the outside, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if Lexa didn’t care about all the ruthless teenagers destroying something. She would never be able to throw a big party like this and be responsible for things this expensive. Maybe that was the thing about being rich…you could just replace it?  
”There she is” Clarke looked over at Lexa, she was texting someone on her phone in a beautiful black dress. The girl could be a fucking model if she wanted too. ”Should I talk to her?” She asked her friends.  
”She’s alone now, go for it” Raven nodded.  
”Okay” Clarke took a deep breath before she approached the brunette.  
”This place is amazing” Clarke started the conversation and the brunette slowly looked up from her phone, her cold face turned into a slightly smile.  
”Do I know you?” She wondered.  
”Seriously?” Clarke shook her head.  
”Did I not text you back or something?” Lexa bit her lip, trying to figure out who Clarke was.  
”I am running against you, we where at the principals office together?” Clarke tried to make her remember. ”Then again I wished you good luck and you ignored me so I shouldn’t be surprised”  
”Oh…” Lexa seemed relived. ”I’m sorry, I guess my mind was somewhere else”  
”Of course it was” Clarke scoffed, Lexa apparently didn’t care about this at all - while everything depended on it for her.  
”Can I get you a drink?” Lexa smirked, stupid fucking smirk. ”As an apology for my bad behavior?”  
”Babe” Costia joined them and immediately wrapped an arm around her girlfriend. ”Who’s this” She studied Clarke up and down.  
”This” Lexa took a step back, Clarke hadn’t realized how close they had gotten. ”Is…”  
”For fuck sake?” Clarke couldn’t believe this. ”Clarke Griffin” She introduced herself. ”I am running for schools president as well”  
”Wait…isn’t you friends with Lincolns girlfriend?” Costia asked.  
”Yes she is” Lexa was glad she finally pieced some pieces together.  
”Well…” Clarke didn’t want to feel any more embarrassment. ”Just wanted to wish you good luck” She didn't care to stay for a response and went back to her friends that where waiting for her.

”Soooooo?” Raven wondered.  
”She has no idea who I am?” Clarke was genially surprised.  
”It’s a big school…lot’s of students” Octavia tried.  
”Bullshit, everyone knows who Clarke Griffin is, she takes every opportunity to be seen or heard. She runs this school better than the principal” Bellamy scoffed.  
”She referred to me as Lincolns girlfriends…friend?” Clarke was annoyed.  
”Ouch…” Raven shrugged. ”Fuck her, I don’t know what world she has been living in - she missed out on you girl”  
”I will make sure that Lexa Woods will never forget the name Clarke Griffin again” It was Clarke’s time to smirk, she could play dirty as well.


	2. The first speech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke gets to announce they are running for president.

Clarke was minding her own businesses at her locker when she felt someone standing next to her, she knew it wasn’t her friends because the person was too quiet. She looked up and where surprised to see Lexa leaning to the locker next to hers with a smile on her face.  
”Your locker is really tidy” She said like this was normal, Clarke studied the brunette as she was exploring her locker.   
”Yeah…?” Clarke grabbed her science book and closed it, it felt weird having Lexa stare into it.   
”I don’t think we have any classes together” Lexa didn’t move or flinch at the loud slam and Clarke wasn’t sure what Lexa was doing here. They had never small talked before?   
”No I read a lot of special classes, have to work my ass off to get a scholarship”   
”Ah…” Lexa finally stood up straight. ”I couldn’t figure it out…I wouldn’t forget a face like yours”   
”My face is literally everywhere in this school” Clarke pointed at a few posters close to them.  
”I don’t pay a lot of attention to the walls” Lexa seemed impressed and looked at a few off them. ”Damn girl, you keep yourself busy”   
”What do you want?” Clarke crossed her arms.   
”I just wanted to say sorry again, I am not usually that rude. I didn’t really get a chance to talk to you at the party, you where busy with your friends”   
”Okay, thank you” Clarke accepted the apology, everyone has a bad day.   
”Clarke” Lexa rolled the name out. ”I like the name…any way” She shrugged. ”May the best woman win” She reached out her hand and Clarke looked at it for a few seconds before she grabbed it. ”I really want this, I just wanted to let you know I will do everything to win this - but best of luck” Again with that smirk.   
”That makes two of us” Clarke raised her eyebrows as they where starring intense into each others eyes.   
”Intense” Raven walked up to them and both girls snapped out of it and quickly let go of each other.   
”Hmm…” Lexa starred at her. ”I remember you from the party, girl you are loud” Clarke couldn’t help but let out a small laughter because the statement was true.   
”You aren’t that stiff after all” Lexa looked over at Clarke and her smile disappeared.   
”Easy girls…” Raven said. ”And I can’t help it…it’s in my blood”   
”I didn’t say I didn’t like it” Lexa raised an eyebrow. ”Your Raven right?”   
”Yeah” Raven seemed surprised that she knew her name.   
”Cool” Clarke said sarcastically, she knew everyone but her - was she really that uninteresting to her? She literally spent years in this school trying to stand out.   
”Alright babe, I am starving…” Raven looked at Clarke, she knew her friend wanted to get out of there while Lexa’s smirk was gone by the nickname.   
”See you at the speech later” Clarke eyed Lexa one more time before she linked her arm with Ravens and walked away, she was actually starving as well. She didn’t knew Lexa was starring at them until they where out of sight with an annoyed face. 

The rest of the day went by pretty slowly, Clarke was trying her best to prepare her speech and control her nerves. She usually didn’t get nervous, she was one of the few people to enjoy speaking in front of an audience. She knew for a fact that Raven hated it, her friend was one of the smartest persons she knew but as soon as people where starring at her she froze. It was weird, usually Raven never shut up but when it came to standing in front of their class something blocked her. It was pretty common but not when it came to her friend who usually loves attention. 

She was small talking with the principal when she noticed Lexa walking in, almost late - and it looked like she wasn’t bothered at all. Clarke was always early, she couldn’t bare having to stress, she needed her time to prepare herself - mentally. 

”Lexa” The principal greeted her.   
”Kane” She nodded.   
”Are you girls ready?” He looked at them like a proud father, Clarke liked him. He was fair and even if he couldn’t control everything he always tried his best.   
”Yes” Clarke was ready.   
The three of them entered the stage, it was a podium placed in the middle and Kane tested the microphone by tapping on it a few times while the students where applauding their entrance.   
”Can you all hear me” He raised his voice and got a loud yes in return. ”Welcome, glad to see all of you here. Hope you had a great day! Today is a special day, we have two students here who want to make sure that you have the best experience in this school, this years runner for school president…” He looked back at Clarke with a big smile. ”I think you all know Clarke Griffin” Loud noises and Clarke couldn’t help but smile. ”And I am pretty sure you haven’t missed Lexa Woods either” He looked at the brunette and the students kept on cheering and applauding. ”I will let the girls talk for themselves, Clarke please” He welcomed her and she took his place.   
”Wow” She smiled and looked around in the assembly hall. ”It’s an honor to be here, I think you all know how much I care about this school - but also how much I care about all of you” People cheered her even more. ”I think you all know that my intention is simply, what matters is that you and me have a voice in this school, that what we say matter and that we respect each other. I will keep todays speech short but I just wanted to let you all know how excited I am about this, that my heart is in this and that I will do whatever it takes to be the best president” Clarke took a break letting the applauses calm down. ”In fact I have a little project that I wasn’t suppose to share today but to be honest I can’t wait…I think that like I did, some of you may struggle with finding after school activities and it’s very important this year and your next that will be your last. Don’t you stress though, I have started a counseling with some other students so if you have any doubts or questions we will be available every Tuesday after four”   
”YOU’RE THE BEST” She could tell it was Raven screaming and a big smile appeared on her face.   
”You’re all the best, and together we can make sure you are your best self. I am with you, I stand behind you…more to come if you vote for Clarke Griffin” She ended her speech and got an positive response from the students, she could finally relax and handed over the mice to Lexa. For the first time it seemed like she wasn’t as cocky as usual…that’s right Clarke knew these students well, sure they liked to party and have fun but at this private school people really cared about their education.   
”Impressive” Lexa clapped as she got to the podium. ”Time for change and time to switch it up even if the last year is important…” She glanced at Clarke. ”So is this year and I think you all want a president that will be there for you 100%, even if the title wont be settled until next year I want you to know that I am here for you in this campaign like I was already your president” People cheered her on. ”I am committed and I know it will take a lot of hard work to please all of you, we are all individuals with different opinions…therefor I actually have a question for my opponent” Clarke was surprised and looked at her with a confused face. ”If you don’t mind” Lexa said it almost as a threat and Clarke shook her head as she joined her up at the podium once again to share the microphone.   
”Okay, I am listening” Clarke said.  
”Well…you did imply that you care for this school - there is no one denying that…however you are also a busy student, not only do you have tuns of projects and extra activities…you also spend a lot of your free time working and when you’re not working you have homework. How do stand with having time to fully commit to have time taking care of these students?” Lexa looked at her, she had awful smile, like she knew she was fucking her over. Did she really have to step this low just because Clarke’s speech actually was inspiring and meaningful?   
”Well Lexa” Clarke smirked. ”It’s called being motivated and being able to multitask, as a president don’t you think that is something you should be able to handle?” She twisted the question and Lexa didn’t seem angry, mostly impressed.   
”Of course, we all care about your health. Working days and weekend and keeping up with school, have you considered quitting your job for this?” Clarke was starting to get annoyed, Lexa didn’t have any business in her personal life…she didn’t even knew why she had to work. Well most of these kids didn’t even have any idea what it was to have a job, their parents served them everything.   
”For me, it’s a great experience. If it ever troubled my education I would considered it” That was a lie, she needed that job.   
”I am glad to hear that you know how much time being the president will take…thank you” Lexa gestured her to back away again and Clarke glared at her. Fucking bitch.   
”Students off Arkadia, Clarke is an impressive students but please be informed that I will not let a silly job for experience stand in my way being the best leader. The future starts here with you, we don’t need to take unnecessary steps to achieve our goals. I will make sure that all of you will shine and reach your goals. If you are reaching higher, vote for LEXA WOODS!” She screamed her name and the students screamed with her while Clarke actually felt offended. Clarke needed that job, like most kids here she wasn’t that fortunate - she used to be but ever since her dad passed away her mother struggled with money. To keep her spot at the school she needed to work, it was expensive and with her mothers salary alone they wouldn’t have food on the table. Her mom offered for Clarke to finish her studies here, it was two years left and she had convinced her daughter that they could make it - but that also meant that Clarke needed to help as well. Almost all of her mothers salary went to Clarke’s education and therefore she needed a scholarship…she didn’t want to let her down. Getting the president title would help her a lot, especially with all the extra activities she was working on. 

Clarke wasn’t stupid, she knew this was to much for anyone - but she was structured and had big goals. She was ready to give it all she got and she was strong, Clarke could handle a lot…she did not need some spoiled brat bringing her down. 

The speeches where over and Clarke wasn’t furious, Lexa was casually just getting out of there like it was nothing and she had to rush after her.   
”What the fuck Lexa?” Clarke grabbed the brunettes arm and she was forced to stop.  
”Aggressive” Lexa smirked as she slowly put her hand over Clarke’s and moved it away from her arm.   
”Is everything a joke to you?” Clarke questioned her.   
”No but you should loosen up a bit, all that stress is not good for you” Lexa shook her head as she spoke with an ironical voice.   
”Why can’t you play this fair?” Clarke stepped closer, she wasn’t scared of the Lexa or talk back to her, she didn’t look up to her like everyone else. She didn’t care for status or how much money she had, she had bigger concerns in her life.   
”I was curious” Lexa lowered her voice.   
”About what?” Clarke snapped back.   
”Why you work in that little restaurant, I have seen you there multiple times” Lexa told her.  
”I thought you had no idea who I was?” Clarke questioned her as she stared into green surprisingly beautiful eyes, had she been lying this whole time? ”And are you stalking me or something?”   
”I need to know my opponent, it would be stupid not to look into you”   
”Multiple times? Since Friday? It’s Monday today…”   
”Relax girl, I just wondered why” Lexa seemed a little nervous even if she covered it well.   
”None of your business, I don’t get everything served on a silver plate okay?!” Clarke said aggressively and Lexa swallowed. ”And next time…since you are so curious about my free time how about you ask me personally instead of the whole fucking school - or wait?” Clarke pretend to be shocked. ”Fucking stay out of it” She was not having it.   
”You got some fire in you, don’t you” Lexa’s stupid smirk was back and it was like she hadn’t listen to a single word Clarke had just said.   
”I don’t know why you are doing this, or why you are trying to get on my nerves but I seriously don’t have time for this. I literally need this” Clarke took a deep breath, she was not going to get emotional in front of Lexa.   
”I was just asking a question girl…don’t sweat it” Lexa studied her, her eyes almost mesmerizing over the blonde girl.   
”Forget it…” Clarke realized that it was pointless but she was always a bit frozen by the sudden gaze from Lexa.  
”See you around” Lexa smiled.   
”Unfortunately” Clarke said under her breath as they parted and went separate ways.

Clarke made her way to her locker to grab her stuff, she had to stop for a few moments to gather herself. The last thirty minutes or so had been intense, Lexa was unpredictable and careless - she was seriously getting on her nerves but on the same time she was curious about her. She hated it, she didn’t need any distractions and right now, Lexa was distracting her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad to see some interest in the story, do you think I should continue it? :)


	3. Clarke's comeback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two can play this game

”Hey honey, you are home late?” Clarke mother yelled as soon as she entered their apartment.   
”Had to work an extra hour” She sighed in response and walked towards the kitchen, she could smell the food.   
”You’re working so hard baby, how was school?” Her mother was already filling a plate with food for her daughter.   
”Hectic, but no need to worry. I got this” Clarke sat down and her mom served her. ”Thank you” She smiled and her mother caressed her cheek and kissed her gently on her forehead.   
”Hopefully we can work this all out with the lawyers soon and get your dads frozen money from the company, it always has to be such a hassle” Her mother shook her head. ”But either way, you are not giving up your studies”   
”I’d rather have him back” Clarke mumbled, it was almost a year since he passed - it felt the same, the pain was still the same, the void was still the same. That’s why Clarke liked having a busy schedule, kept her mind busy.   
”I know sweetie…so how about we talk about something more exciting. You got to announce that you are running for schools president right?” Her mom smiled at her proudly.   
”That was three days ago” Clarke chuckled. ”But yeah…it was interesting, do you know who’r running against me?”   
”No, tell me all about it” Her mother sat down at the chair next to her, she had probably already had dinner hours ago.   
”Lexa fucking Woods” Clarke shook her head in a smile. ”Who would’ve thought? And she’s actually a pain in the ass”   
”No way” Abby chuckled. ”Her father does put a lot of pressure on her I think”  
”Doesn’t seem like it, doesn’t seem like she cares about anything”   
”He shows up every parents meeting, preaching about her and…” Her mother rolled her eyes. ”How much money he donates to the school, he loves to brag about that and use the teachers”   
”You know, she found out I had an extra job and tried to use it against me?” Clarke’s memory flashed back to the burning question in front of all the students. ”How is that a bad thing, I don’t get it”  
”That’s rude…” Her mother agreed. ”Don’t let her get to your mind, she’s probably trying to psyche you”   
”I think that made a few students have doubts about me, some potential voters has been questioning me the last few days”   
”Stand tall, you’re working hard for your studies. It’s nothing to be ashamed off”   
”I don’t want anyone to pity me mom” Clarke sighed as she looked down out her plate, she had almost finished all her food already.   
”I know, but I just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide this…you’re still extraordinary”   
”Yeah yeah” Clarke smiled at her mother. ”I need to study”   
”Okay” Her mother was about to grab the now empty plate.  
”Hey I got it, go rest mom” Clarke was quick and reached it before her mother.   
”Okay” Her mom nodded. 

The next day was a bit rough for Clarke, she didn't get much sleep that night because she had to stay up and study late. She had to pinch her multiple times during classes to stay focused. Lunch finally arrived and she was glad to see her friends sitting at their usual table.   
”Hey” She approached them.  
”The president, what an honor” Raven smiled at her.   
”Did you get my text message?” Clarke looked at her technical friend.  
”I replied didn’t I?” The Latina chuckled and Clarke sat down next to her.   
”I know, I am just…it needs to be perfect”   
”Have I ever failed you?” Raven teased.   
”I did my part as well” Octavia smiled calmingly at her.  
”You two are the best, I am so tired of Lexa trying to bring me down. Time to get her back”   
”That’s the spirit, now finish your vegetables so you gain that strength” Raven pointed at her plate and Clarke took a deep breath. They finished their lunch talking about plans for Clarke’s campaign, every once in a while they got carried away talking about boys or the days gossip.   
”Okay girl are you ready, it’s time?” Octavia looked at her phone.   
”I was born ready” Clarke stood up and her friends followed, she made her was to the little stage Lexa had held an speech not that long ago. She could feel eyes all over the cafeteria following her every move until she looked back with the microphone in front of her.   
”Students” She said with pride. ”It has come to my attention that some of you have doubts about me running for president since Lexa asked about my part time job.” She took a second for everyone to remember what she was talking about. ”I understand that you have questions and are curious about my schedule, however I don’t agree with my opponent. I wouldn’t call it a waste off time or - being to busy. I call it being motivated and it only shows that I can multitask witch I personally think is a quality a president should have.” She smiled at the students and spotted Lexa standing far away in the back with her arms crossed with her sister Anya next to her and Costia on the other side. ”Do I have to remember you all that Lexa had a two weeks vacation only two weeks after summer break, isn’t that something you should question instead? I haven’t had a day off…well ever? Have I ever disappointed you? I am here, I would never run for president if I hadn’t had the time” She smiled and people started to cheer on her.  
”YOU ROCK” She could tell it was Bellamy who screamed and couldn’t help but to smile wider.   
”If you want a president that is presence and motivated, please VOTE FOR CLARKE GRIFFIN” That was Ravens cue and a big banderol bounced down behind Clarke with a big poster of her face with the words vote for Clarke in red. It got loud and as Raven and Octavia sprinkled confetti over her some students actually stood up to applause. Clarke thanked them.   
”Grab a sticker, vote for me and swing my job and a milkshake will be on the house. I want to chit chat whit all of you” Clarke knew it was a boring move to offer free stuff to get people to vote at her, but right now it was brilliant. ”Thank you” She smiled and as she got off the stage she felt burning green eyes towards her, Lexa looked furious and it made everything even better. Clarke locked eyes with her, it was finally her time to smirk. It felt good. 

After that speech Clarke felt like it was finally looking brighter for her, people started to high five her in the hallways. Compliment her speech and her dedication, no one seemed to have any more doubts about her. She walked with her head held high and she was proud over herself for standing up against Lexa. To be honest the brunette deserved it, Clarke asked to play it nice but she had ignored it twice now. 

As school ended Clarke was outside on the parking spot waiting for Raven that was about to give her a ride, they where about to study at the Latinas place. She wasn’t sure if Octavia was joining or if she was spending time with Lincoln. She was scrolling through Instagram as she noticed someone approaching her. 

”Okay Griffin” It was Lexa. ”I see you” She said.   
”Can we call it even now?” Clarke smirked, she liked it.   
”Don’t you think there was a reason I had to go away just two weeks after school started?” Lexa asked her.   
”To hang around in a bikini all day in paradise, yeah I saw that” Clarke scoffed.   
”So you have been checking me out I see” Lexa smirked proudly like not every student had seen her posts.   
”Don’t flatter yourself”   
”You really think I am that shallow don’t you?” Lexa questioned her.   
”Maybe I do” Clarke stood taller.   
”You don’t know me” Lexa said and it was getting intense.   
”And you don’t know me” Clarke fired back.   
”I had a reason to go away you know” Lexa lowered her voice.  
”I don’t care Lexa, we are passed that” Clarke scoffed. ”You choose to have it this way and I am not letting you get into my head again”   
”Hmm…So I have been on your mind huh?” Lexa bit her lip, Clarke didn’t understand why the brunette was like this. Was she flirting? Messing with her? Some sort of power move? That she almost knew how good she was looking? Like she was irresistible?   
”I am not the one stalking, I can make it easier for you - I work tomorrow, a late shifts in case you want to swing by” Clarke locked eyes with green, Lexa seemed to be caught off guard.   
”Are you asking me on a date?” Lexa’s eyes flickered and Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if she was looking at her lips.   
”Listen here, these students here might think you are an goddess. Your wish is their command but I don’t, I see right through you Lexa - stop with your games, stop flirting with me…go run to your girlfriend instead” Clarke said angrily.   
”You don’t have to be jealous” Lexa winked, seriously?   
”I hope you are playing nice” Raven finally got there and studied the girls. ”Damn I can taste the tension”   
”We have room for one more” Lexa smirked again and Clarke rolled her eyes.   
”Hey, save that one for me” Anya approached them and Raven looked at her surprised, the sisters shared that smirk. Seemed to be a family thing.   
”Okay…um, this is getting weird” Raven made it more awkward.  
”Costia is looking for you and she’s really getting on my nerves Lexa” Anya looked at her sister.   
”Mhm” Lexa seemed annoyed. ”Where are you headed?” She looked at her sister.  
”Out, seeing some friends” Anya looked at her phone intense, seemed like she was texting someone back and forth.   
”So you won’t be home?” Lexa asked and Clarke couldn’t help but look at the brunette who seemed to be disappointed.  
”Will be a late one” Anya mumbled not looking at her sister at all.   
”Should we get going?” Raven looked at Clarke. ”My place we said?”   
”Yeah” Clarke nodded.   
”Damn, you two are banging or something?” Anya looked up and watched the friends confused looks.   
”Yes of course we are” Raven said seriously and Clarke caught up in the lie, she grabbed her friends hand and notice how both sisters where looking at the act.   
”Come on babe, I missed you so much today” Clarke had to try her best not to laugh.   
”I can imagine that” Anya teased but her eyes where stuck on the Latina and Clarke couldn’t help but notice. She dragged her friend over to her black little car and they laughed together as they sat down.  
”Did you see their faces?” Raven laughed.  
”Oh my god, I think Anya is actually interested in you” Clarke laughed with her.   
”Maybe this is your power move, I mean Lexa must have a thing for you?” Raven calmed down her laughter and started the engine.   
”She’s just playing with me, she has a girlfriend Raven”   
”They are worse than Selena and Justin, they break up all the time” Raven teased.  
”Stop it” Clarke shrugged. ”I am not interesting in that shallow…” beautiful Clarke thought. ”Bitch”   
”Whatever you say” Raven started to drive out of the parking spot and they passed the sisters that still looked at them, they seemed surprised still.   
”Anya is hot though” Clarke looked at her in the back mirror.   
”She’s pretty fine” Raven agreed. ”But are you gonna pretend like Lexa isn’t?”   
”Fine, maybe she’s hella hot but her personality brings her down” Clarke told her.   
”Why does she have to be so rude?” Raven shook her head. ”I wonder if Anya is the same”   
”She’s older but only with one year, I think the influence each other”   
”Probably, that’s a shame”   
”Can we talk about something else than the sisters Woods?” Clarke suggested.  
”You bet it, do you know that I made an explosion today in science class?” Raven chuckled.  
”Of course you did”   
”You should of seen Wicks face, I think he questioned why he’d ever became a teacher”   
”It wasn’t a mistake was it?” Clarke smiled at her friend.  
”No, the class was so fucking boring and I pretended to make a mistake. It’s like we’re reading science for five year olds”   
”Take an more advanced class?” Clarke suggested.  
”This IS the advanced class” Raven laughed and Clarke couldn’t help but laugh with her, Raven really was smarter than a lot of the students. Her brain was out of this world and it made her really proud over her friend.   
”Let’s use that smart brain off yours and make something big for my campaign?” Clarke suggested.   
”Yeah?” Raven got a big smile on her face. ”I need an project”   
”Free hands, I trust you” Clarke smiled.  
”That’s a risky move” Raven smirked.   
”Trust me I know” Clarke chuckled but she knew her friend would never disappoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy to see the interest in the story! <3 Do you think Lexa will go after her again?


	4. That's not okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets and unexpected visit at work and a surprise at school.

Clarke was just adding an order at work when she noticed how Lexa walked into the restaurant, did the brunette actually think that yesterday was an invitation?   
”Cool place” Lexa walked up to her at the cashier.   
”What the fuck are you doing here?” Clarke wondered, luckily is was a quiet evening - only one table that was waiting for food and a couple that was about to leave.   
”Is this how you speak to your customers” Lexa shook her head like it was nothing and grabbed a menu. ”What do you recommend?” She didn’t look up as Clarke was crossing her arms just curious why Lexa was there.   
”Seriously?”   
”Well…” Lexa looked around in the empty restaurant. ”Doesn’t seem like you have anything better to do?”   
”Don’t you?” Clarke scoffed.   
”I’m exactly where I want to be” Lexa said dead serious.   
”Fine, the halloumi is nice” Clarke gave up. ”For here or takeaway?”   
”Can I sit at the bar?” Lexa had a proud half smile on her face, the bar was one step away from the cashier where Clarke was standing.   
”You are unbelievable” Clarke turned her face down to add the order to hide her smile. ”Anything to drink?”   
”A coce-zero” Lexa sat down while Clarke poured her soda, she placed it down in front of of Lexa and her body stiffed as Lexa placed a hand over Clarke’s hand.   
”Thank you” Lexa looked at her intense, she didn’t let go of her grip and Clarke didn’t know what to do.   
”So…” Clarke felt like she had to speak, Lexa wasn’t. ”Can you tell my why you are here now?”   
”To talk” Lexa finally let go and she took a zip out of her drink. ”I feel like we should get to know each other a little better”   
”We don’t have to” Clarke shook her head and kept her hands closer to her body.   
”Why do you always have that guard up?” Lexa looked at her curious but luckily for Clarke a bell rang to signalize that an order was ready, it was her only table that was waiting for food.   
”I need too…” Clarke excused herself and went to the kitchen to grab the plates, even if she wanted to this as slowly as possible she knew the customers would be mad if she did. 

As she got back behind the bar Lexa was texting on her phone, she was hoping that would keep her occupied for a while.   
”Maniac” Lexa breathed under her breath and Clarke couldn’t help but wonder.   
”Somethings wrong?” She couldn’t help but be curious.   
”It’s Costia…” Lexa put her phone upside down on the bar. ”She can be…a bit overprotective”  
”Doesn’t like that you are here with me?”   
”Doesn’t like that I don’t respond within 1 minute” Lexa chuckled. ”If I told her I was here she would kill me”   
”Please don’t tell her” Clarke smiled at her, she didn’t want to come between that drama.   
”Trust me, I don’t want that either” Another bell rang and Clarke knew it was Lexa’s food, she rushed back to get it to her.   
”I hope you like it” Clarke told her.   
”Don’t you have any useless drama with your girlfriend?” Lexa didn’t look at her as she ask the question.   
”My girlfriend?” Clarke asked confused.   
”Raven?” Lexa took her first bite and gave her an impressed look. ”It’s good”   
”Told you” Clarke said proudly. ”And no…we’re just best friends”   
”Oh…” Lexa looked up. ”I seen you together…you look close and the other day..?”   
”We where just playing with you, I thought you guys understood”  
”I see” Lexa seemed disappointed by the fact.   
”We are just really close I guess, I have known that girl since we where kids”   
”Cute” Lexa glared at her, she hadn’t touch her food much.   
”Somethings wrong?” Clarke asked.   
”No, like I said it was good but I’ll have the bill now” Lexa stood up and grabbed her phone.   
”Um…okay” Clarke informed her the total.  
”Keep the change” Clarke looked at her confused.  
”It’s umm…a lot of money?”   
”Keep it” Lexa turned around and left, the whole situation was weird. Lexa was so weird? Still she was a bit upset that she left after just one or two bites, was the food that terrible? Was is something she said? She couldn’t figure it out but she had to shook the feeling of missing her presence, no Clarke. No distractions. 

The next day at school Clarke still couldn’t forget about her weird visit at the restaurant the evening before. She had been up late just thinking about it, trying to make some sense out of it. It had been useless, she had no explanations for it.   
”Clarke” Raven caught up to her speed and walked beside her.   
”Morning” Clarke smiled at her.   
”So what did you want to talk about?” Raven asked.   
”Lexa came by the restaurant yesterday” Clarke lowered her voice. ”She ordered food, sat down by the bar all by herself”  
”What?” Raven seemed confused about it as well.  
”She thought you and me where a couple for real” She chuckled.   
”We are sooooo cute” Raven put an arm around her friend and held her closer.   
”And we where actually having an calm conversation, she had like one bite out of her food and then she just asked for the bill and left”   
”Really?” Raven thought it was strange as well.   
”I know” The friends immediately stopped walking as they noticed tons of students surrounding at the end off the hallway. ”What’s going on here?”   
”STUDENTS” It was Lexa who spoke. ”Thank you for joining me at this morning meeting”   
”What is she up to now?” Clarke and Raven got closer to hear better, it was cramped but the students stayed quiet to hear what Lexa had to say.   
”I am proud to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community as you all know…and it’s something that I personally feel is very important and that is why I gathered you all here today. We are an open school here, we open have opens arms for every single one off you - straight, bi, gay trans or whatever. We stand behind you. The other day I came across something I haven’t seen in a long time at this school, my other opponent made fun of the community” Everyone started booing.  
”What the fuck?” Clarke said surprised.   
”She pretended to be gay for the fun off it, like it was a joke. I don’t know about you guys but I don’t see anything fun in that?” Lexa looked at the crowd.   
”CLARKE SUCKS” People started shouting.  
”WHAT THE FUCK?” Clarke pushed herself to get to Lexa. ”What are you saying?”   
”Didn’t you tell me you pretended to be gay with your friend?” Lexa looked at her intense.  
”Well, it was never like that?” Clarke realized it sounded bad, but it wasn’t meant to be rude? Lexa and Anya knew that, they where joking about other inappropriate stuff as well?   
”I didn’t think it was funny, and I don’t think anyone else here find it funny” Lexa crossed her arms.   
”GET OUT OF HERE” Someone yelled and Clarke looked back at them stressed.   
”No listen to me…” She tried but they all yelled at her to fuck off.   
”Let’s get out of here” Raven had reached her and grabbed her hand, she led her out of the crowded area.   
”Fuck” Raven sighed as soon as they where out of sight.   
”It makes sense now…she was there to get some dirt from me. She got what she needed and then she left” Clarke couldn’t help but feel disappointed.   
”Why didn’t you tell them?” Raven wondered.  
”I didn’t really get the chance did I?” Clarke shook her head. ”I need to fix this…” She said stressed. ”I have an idea…”  
”You need my help?”   
”Yeah but I need to talk to Niyhla first” Clarke said. ”I have to find her, I’ll text you the details, okay?”   
”Okay” Raven yelled behind her.   
Clarke got a lot of hate that day, people calling her names, screaming at her, pointing their fingers…she tried to ignore it the best she could but unfortunately it got to her. It was hurtful comments and she wasn’t used to this behavior from the students. Arkadia was free school, there where no bullies or outsiders, the students supported each other no matter what. They reacted like this because they thought she was a bully and tried to hold on to that. She was glad Raven and Octavia was waiting for her outside her class to walk her too lunch.   
”Rough day?” Octavia looked at her with a sad face.   
”Yeah…they can be rude if they want too”   
”Are you ready for this, was Niyhla okay with it?” Raven wondered.  
”Yes, I explained the situation and she wanted to support me” Clarke told her.   
”Good, we’re good to go then” Raven showed her an USB and Clarke hugged her friend as an thank you.   
”Want to do it right away?” Octavia wondered as they reached the cafeteria.  
”Yes, I have no appetite anyway” Clarke slowly moved her body towards the stage, she wasn’t as confident as the last time she walked up there. People where noticing and already booing at her or telling her to get out of there.  
”Hi” Clarke ignored it. ”I would like for all you of you to give me a few minutes to explain myself” She spoke low into the microphone. ”What was announced earlier today is serious and I understand that, it should be taken serious because we all matter. My intentions was not to make fun of the LGBTQ+ community at all. My apologizes to Lexa” Clarke looked for the brunette, she was sat down pretty close to the stage with Costia in her lap. ”How could I make fun of an community me myself are a part off?” Clarke looked over at Raven who turned on the projector. ”This” Clarke looked back and looked an old photo off her and Niyhla kissing each other. ”Is my ex girlfriend. She’s right there” Clarke smiled at her and pointed and she waved nervously to all the students that suddenly was looking at her. ”We dated for a while, I am very subtle with my personal life as you all know but I wanted to open up today, it was time. I am bisexual and proud. What happened the other day was not to make fun of the LGBTQ.”   
”HOT” Someone suddenly yelled and Clarke gathered to look up and face them, they seem to be understanding.  
”Niyhla” Clarke gestured for ex to join her on stage and the girl shyly walked up next to her. ”Love is love you all and I think my ex can confirm that”   
”Clarke has no evil in her hurt you all trippin” Niyhla chuckled into the microphone.   
”KISS KISS KISS” The students suddenly started repeating together.   
”Oh…” Clarke got nervous and looked over at the other blonde girl next to her, she seemed as nervous as her.   
”For good old times?” She suggested.  
”Fuck it” Clarke grabbed her waist and pulled her closer and they met in soft kiss, as Niylah put her hands on Clarke’s cheeks she couldn’t help but lean in for one more.   
”YEEAH” The students cheered them on and as they parted Clarke looked at her ex intense, that felt better than it should’ve had. Or where they just caught in the moment?   
”Damn Griffin” She yelled in the microphone. ”CLARKE GRIFFIN FOR PRESIDENT” She yelled and finally they where cheering her on again. 

Clarke went off the stage led by her ex holding her hand, people where applauding and she could finally relax. Her goal wasn’t to expose herself like this, not that she was ashamed but because like her life private.   
”Wow” Niylah chuckled.   
”You sure made a lot of boners” Raven joined them.  
”Gross” Clarke wined. ”Thank you for agreeing to this” Clarke smiled at her ex.  
”Still got your back” She smiled back.   
”And you…” Clarke could feel green eyes burning on her. ”Don’t you ever fucking show up at my restaurant again, don’t talk to me you hear me?” She raised her voice, she didn’t care about Lexa’s friends that was sitting next to her at the table. ”I am your opponent and that’s it”   
”Her restaurant?” Costia looked angry at Lexa.   
”Chill” Lexa looked at Clarke, she tried to act calm but Clarke could read her green eyes - they where insecure. ”I made an mistake”   
”No you didn’t, you knew damn well I didn’t make fun of the community” Clarke spitted.  
”Hey Raven” Anya yelled at the Latina. ”That means your single then?” She winked and Clarke couldn’t stand it with these siblings, they where just born to be annoying. Nothing but themselves to care for.   
”That was ugly” Raven ignored her and looked at Lexa instead. ”You fuck with my friend again and I will screw you over”   
”I think my sister would gladly fuck you friend” Anya chuckled but it ended quickly as both her sister and Costia looked at her angrily.   
”Damn you all have to chill” She shrugged.   
”Fuck, it’s useless” Clarke rolled her eyes.   
”Hey Clarke…” Niylah snuck up next to them. ”Can we talk?”   
”Yeah” Clarke noticed how it seemed like Lexa wanted to murder Niylah with her eyes but she didn’t care, she didn’t understand the girl at all. She just got a kick of being rude.   
”Call me” Anya yelled to tease Raven and Latina brushed it off.   
”They really are idiots” Raven said frustrated. ”You redeemed yourself at least, you lovebirds go do your things, catch you later?”   
”Yeah” Clarke smiled, at least something her friend was correct. ”Alright want to go outside, I need to get out off here?” She asked Niylah.  
”Works for me” She smiled and the left the cafeteria and the annoying brunette that was stepping on every single nerve in Clarke’s body right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nooooooot cool Lexa. Let me know what you think about the fic so far! :)


	5. Game day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first soccer game

Ever since Clarke announced that she was bisexual and that Lexa had falsely accused her of being mean she had gained a lot of new voters. After the incidence people started to doubt Lexa as an leader, as that move seemed sneaky and just wrong. Lexa had been keeping low lately and Clarke had no problem with that, the brunette still had her loyal followers but she hadn’t tried anything new for days. 

”Hey Clarke wait up” Bellamy ran up to her with his arms full off books and a big bag on his shoulder.   
”Need a hand?” She chuckled and helped him.  
”Thanks, rushing to practice” He could finally open his bag and she helped him put the books in there.   
”When’s your first game, I would love to see it” She asked.  
”I would kill you if you missed it” He smiled. ”It’s next Friday actually, we should hang out after talk to the gang and celebrate the win”   
”Someone’s cocky?” She teased.   
”We are stronger and better than ever”   
”With you as a leader, I bet”   
”Speaking off…I talked to the team” He smiled proudly. ”They’re all voting for you”   
”YES” She yelled out and threw her arms around him in a hug.   
”Told you” He hugged her back.  
”You are the best and yes of course I will come to your game and we will of course celebrate afterwords, I’ll make sure I don’t have a shift that evening”   
”Awesome, well I’d love to hang more but I have to run” He looked at the time on his phone. ”Fuck, you’re a rockstar!! See you” He started jogging away and Clarke waved at him before she realized she need to go to the bathroom before her next class. She looked at the herself, she had plenty off time. 

She made herself through the hallway to get to the nearest toilet, it was calm at the moment. Most students had classes right now, she enjoyed it. After walking for a little while, the school was too big sometimes, she finally found the sign she was looking for - toilets to the left. Clarke opened the door and was just about to enter one off the stalls when she heard the door crack open, by reflex she looked back…fuck.  
”My favorite person” She said ironically but was surprised when Lexa locked the public door behind her, she then watched under every stall to make sure they where alone.   
”Are you gonna kill me or something?” Clarke asked her.   
”Tempted but not today” She said as casually leaned towards the sink in front of her.   
”What?” Clarke said annoyed. ”I thought I made myself clear”   
”I wanted to talk to you” Lexa raised her voice a bit.   
”Whatever you want to talk about, or trick me into - I am not interested”   
”I wanted to apologize” Lexa sighed.   
”I think we are passed that”   
”You are hard to catch alone and I know you would push me away if you where with your friends”  
”So you decided to stalk me into the toilets, are you obsessed with me or something?”   
”Who’s flattering themselves now” Lexa smirked as she remembered the words Clarke had used against her a while ago.   
”Nice, thanks for the apology? Wanna grab lunch later?” Clarke scoffed ironically.   
”Okay fine” Lexa stood up and took a few steps closer. ”I had no idea you where bisexual, it was rude and out of line. I feel bad about it”   
”So you actually have a heart deep down?”   
”I got carried away and…” Lexa stopped herself from finishing her sentence and Clarke wondered what she just was about to say. ”It was shitty okay, I’m sorry” She seemed sincere but the blonde wasn’t having it.   
”You know what” Clarke took a step closer. ”I don’t know what you are doing here but I will not” another step closer. ”fall for any of your tricks again” Another step witch made Lexa take a step back. ”You think you have yourself figured out don’t you?” Another step, another one for Lexa to back again. ”I see right through your facade Lexa, inside you are just a curious little girl” The same movement repeated and Lexa hit the sink and there was no more space for her to back away, she held tightly to the sink instead. ”Leave me alone or I might just expose you” Clarke spitted and Lexa swallowed - she hadn’t realized how close she had gotten, their face was just inches away from each other.   
”Get out” Lexa warned her.   
”Fucking try me bitch” Clarke wasn’t backing now and they looked intense at each other, as soon as the blondes eyes flickered to the brunettes lips Lexa made her move - she grabbed Clarke’s neck and collided their lips together in an aggressive kiss. Clarke’s hands automatically reached for Lexa’s waist to bring her closer, Lexa craved more as her tongue asked for entrance to explore Clarke’s. It turned into a hot make-out session and it hard to catch some air, the feeling was hard to explain but Clarke had never felt like this before - wanting and hating someone at the same time - she had to stop and even if she had to fight every nerve in her body to community she managed to pull herself away.  
”No” She shook her head and Lexa looked at her confused.  
”Damn…” Lexa tried to lean in again but Clarke took a step back.  
”We can’t…” Clarke tried to gather herself, tried to think clear. ”You and me…you’re with Costia?!”   
”She dumped me” Lexa told her.   
”No stop, this is you playing games with me again”   
”It’s not” Lexa shook her head. ”We got caught in the moment, that’s all”   
”You kissed me”   
”You kissed me back” Lexa smirked.   
”Okay okay okay…Clarke” She spoke to herself. ”Just, leave me alone Lexa”   
”Fine” Lexa fixed her shirt and turned around to look herself in the mirror, her hair had gotten a bit messy and she used her hands to fix it. ”Just know that you wont be able to stop thinking about me now” She smiled into the mirror and looked at Clarke who just glared back annoyed.   
”You’re wrong”   
”Whatever you say” Lexa reached for her bag and grabbed her lipstick. ”You really messed me up girl” She chuckled to herself, nope Clarke was not staying for this - she had fallen completely into her trap again and now Lexa was just enjoying it.   
”You drive me insane” Clarke went to the door and unlocked it, luckily the brunette didn’t say anything more. Clarke had to check the time and realized that she had been in there longer than she thought, she was actually about to be late for class if she didn’t hurry up. She rushed through the hallways with memories of her and Lexa’s kiss flashing. Fuck, fuck…fuck - she had enjoyed it too much, fuck Lexa’s plumped lips had just been as soft as they look, fuck focus. Clarke shook her head, you are late for class - you can panic about this later. 

Game day arrived sooner than expected, ever since Lexa kissed her Clarke had been avoiding her - and succeeding doing so. She hadn’t even told her friend about the intense bathroom make-out session because she didn’t know how to process it herself. 

She knew however that Lexa probably would be joining the audience for Arkadias first soccer game, it was almost mandatory if you where running for schools president.   
”Excited to see your brother play?” Raven asked Octavia as they sat down.  
”More excited to see Lincoln” Octavia chuckled. ”But yes, I am proud of him as well”   
”Clarke?” Raven snapped her back to reality. ”What are you looking for, relax”  
”Just…giving some friendly smiles…” Clarke lied as she waited for her friends to be distracted again before she looked over her shoulder to the left and then to the right, fuck. Lexa was sitting a bit further up next to Gustus and Anya, Gustus was a year older as well and usually hanged out with Anya, he always seemed like he was angry at everyone. A strange one that guy, Clarke didn’t realize she was starring and before she knew it Anya spotted her and pointed for Lexa to see as well. The sister waved at her with goofy smirks on their faces and Clarke quickly turned her head again to look away, shit.   
”Are you okay?” Octavia asked her.  
”Yeah, the sisters Woods” Clarke lowered her voice.   
”She hadn’t been bothering you since that speech though, that’s a good thing?” Octavia said.  
”True” Raven seemed to think about it. ”Maybe she finally gave up?”   
”Maybe…” Clarke wanted to tell her friends but this wasn’t the time, it was Bellamys day.   
”Look it’s starting!” Octavia pointed at the cheerleaders running out and music loudly started playing and the friends cheered them on with the audience. The girls in the cheerleader squad started jumping and screaming motivated things.   
”Is that Niylah?” Raven chuckled and pointed at a blonde girl who was further to the left.  
”When did she join the squad?” Clarke chuckled.   
”So how do you feel about everything since her conversation?” Octavia asked.  
”Sure I felt something too when we kissed but I mean, we broke up for a reason and I am pretty sure we where just caught in the moment” Clarke explained, the kiss was nothing compared to how she felt with Lexa.   
”Yeah, you are better as friends I guess” Raven told her.   
”Wait” Clarke suddenly noticed how the music changed and suddenly the name Lexa Woods was yelled from the cheerleader squad. She looked back to the brunette who danced along and yelled the words with them.  
”How the fuck did she manage to get the whole squad on her side?” Clarke bursted out.  
”She really is sneaky” Raven looked back at them as well but her eyes couldn’t help but land on Anya instead.   
”Fuck…” Clarke shook her head, at least I have the soccer team but they are not nearly as many people”   
”Why would Nyh vote against you?”   
”I don’t know” Clarke looked at her ex who yelled the words vote for Lexa Woods, she sat uncomfortable until the cheering ending - and once it was over she could finally concentrate again as the boys run out on the field. 

Bellamy had been right, the other team had no chance against them and it was a big win - the tension on the field was exited and happy - Clarke had forgetting everything about the cheerleaders song towards Lexa. She ran out there to hug Bellamy and he spun her around.   
”I told you” He smiled into the hug.  
”You where incredible” Clarke smiled and he put her down.   
”Congrats big brother” Octavia hugged him as well before she ran towards Lincoln to give him a kiss.   
”So…we have to celebrate right?” Clarke said excited.   
”Of course, we where thinking about heading towards the beach so as many people as possible can join us”   
”Sounds like a plan!” Clarke liked it. 

It was an amazing feeling of community as almost all the students joined the celebration at the beach, there was a big fire, loud speakers and tons of alcohol there. Clarke was next by Bellamy and she felt so proud as almost every student who walked by congratulated him on the win.   
”Bell!” Finn who was also a part of the team yelled at him. ”The boys are playing some 5 against 5, join us!” He yelled.  
”Go!” Clarke looked at him. ”Have fun!”   
”Alright” Bellamy ran after Finn and Clarke smiled as he disappeared. She looked around to see where her friends was, Octavia was busy with Lincoln and Raven was no where to be seen. She decided to get another drink and maybe spot someone she knew on the way. She pored herself some vodka and soda in a typical red cup, she took a sip and looked around at the party. It was loud and intense and she felt awkward just standing there so she decided to go sit down a bit further away from the party. 

She loved watching the ocean, it was something so calming about it - especially as the sun was going down and the sky was red and orange. She was glad she decided to see this.   
”Did you like the song?” Clarke didn’t have to look back to know who it was, it was Lexa.  
”Catchy” Clarke told her, she wasn’t gonna let her destroy this moment.   
”How come you are sitting here by yourself?” Lexa sat down next to her and Clarke decided to look at the brunette, her eyes where a bit shiny - meaning she was probably a bit tipsy.   
”I’m not anymore, am I?” Clarke told her.   
”Are you okay?” Lexa asked and Clarke was unprepared for that question, did she really care about the answer though?   
”Just trying to enjoy the sunset, that’s all”   
”It’s beautiful…” Lexa looked away from Clarke to take in the view. ”Can I join you?”   
”Just don’t talk” Clarke nodded and they sat there in silence, like it was nothing weird about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...wow...wow...let me know what you think?


	6. Rocky's Pub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to follow Lexa for the day.

It was Saturday and Lexa woke up with and headache, she sighed as she reached for her phone - it was almost 11 and she had five new text messages from Costia. She ignored them and carefully stood up instead, she tried to move as slowly as possible to not feel any worse. The house was quiet, her sister probably slept somewhere else as usual, she made a quick look into her sisters room and it was empty as she expected. She looked at her phone again to make sure her sister hadn’t texted her, or if her father had called - nope. 

She reached the kitchen and poured herself a big glass off water, she drank it in the silence as she sighed. She hated being alone and especially when she had an hangover, it gave her even more anxiety. She decided to read the text messages from her ex out of boredom. 

20:37 Why are you sitting with her???   
22:14 Where are you? Lexa answer me  
23:34 Stop ignoring me, please I’m sorry…  
00:11 LEXA  
02:33 Can I sleep at your place? 

Lexa sighed, she knew Costia was talking about Clarke - the reason she had dumped her in the first place. Once she had found out she had visited her at the restaurant she got crazy jealous and mad, Lexa was used to her behavior by now…She deep down knew their relationship wasn’t healthy but it was better than to be alone all the time. She looked through her phone list and dialed her dad, no answers and sent to voicemail - so she texted him. 

*Dad, call me. I am worried about mom* 

She sighed again before she threw her phone away and poured herself a new glass off water, she already felt a bit better. Her mind wondered to the blonde girl like it usually did these days. it was something about Clarke - she hadn’t figured it out - all she knew is that she was drawn to her. It was something special about her but she knew she had screwed up pretty bad with her, she didn’t knew why she was like this. Why she had to act the way she did and piss people off, it happened naturally. 

She was unfortunately very attracted to her as well, after their kiss she couldn’t stop thinking about how her whole body might feel like - how her lips felt against hers and how her hands felt electric against her skin. 

She even started to get jealous, firstly when she saw her with Raven she realized it - that she thought she was dating her, at the restaurant when she said they where just friends she had gotten mad. Not by the fact that they weren’t dating but by the fact the Clarke probably was straight - she acted out and it was stupid.

It was also at the game yesterday, the team captain…Bellamy? Was that his name? She had ran towards him at the end and they had hugged intensely and then spent the entire evening together. Lexa wanted to ask her about it but she knew it wasn’t her place. As soon as she saw Clarke alone however she couldn’t help but approach her. They hadn’t talked much but Lexa had for the first time enjoyed the silence. Lexa wanted to say that these past weeks wasn’t really her, that she knew she was acting badly - that she had been straight up rude. The hardest part was that Clarke wasn’t interested in that and Lexa didn’t really have an explanation for it either. 

Lexa needed distraction so she had to go after her phone that she threw away, she found her sisters name and called her. It took a while and Lexa wasn’t surprised when she didn’t pick up, Anya was almost never home - unless she was having people over for a party or movie hangouts.

After a refreshing shower and a quiet lunch in the kitchen Lexa was restless and bored, she wasn’t really that hangover anymore either. She couldn’t stand the emptiness in the mansion, it was torture right now. She decided to grab her car keys and go for a drive before she would do something stupid like answer her ex. 

Lexa started driving through the familiar city, she didn’t have a plan but according to her turns she knew exactly where she was about to end up - as soon as she saw the street she slowed down and slowly passed the restaurant. It didn’t seem like Clarke was working, she turned around and tried to have another look but there was no sign of a blonde girl in the restaurant. 

Was she being pathetic? Was she actually stalking Clarke? She had been lying this whole time, of course she knew who the blonde was, how could you not? Her face has been all over the school since they started - she was motivated and had goals, Lexa liked that. That was it though, she had known her name, liked her dedication but it wasn’t until Clarke had talked to her at her party that she realized that she was her opponent. 

She doesn’t know why that was a big surprise really, of course Clarke Griffin would - she was born for this. Lexa wanted the title to get her fathers attention, he had never in her life given her an honest compliment. He probably thought her and Anya was some lost causes that he had to pay for - maybe if she became the schools president he would finally see her. 

With mom being gone from the house it had become even worse, he hadn’t been home in weeks - he sent her and her sister away from the house when their mom needed special treatment. Something expensive and what he explained it as - nothing you want to see - it’s better like this. When they came back they where both gone and haven’t been home since. It worried her sick. 

Her mother had always been there for them, Lexa wanted to be there for her but her father didn’t let her. Maybe if she became the president maybe he could see that she was responsible enough - all though…she wasn’t really proud of herself for the past weeks. 

Her phone started buzzing and she reached for it quickly, maybe it was her father - nope - it was her sister.  
”SIS” Anya yelled in the phone. ”What are you doing?”   
”Nothing” Lexa told her. ”Where are you?”   
”Me and the gang are at the pub, Rockys you don’t need any ID here - join us?” Anya suggested.  
”Yeah” Lexa didn’t want to be alone anymore.  
”Warning though…your beloved ex is here” Anya lowered her voice.   
”Did she ask you to call me?” Lexa sighed, of course it wasn’t just her sister wanting to hangout.   
”Just talk to her, she’s driving me insane"   
”Whatever” Lexa hanged up annoyed but started driving towards the pub, it wasn’t a long drive and she parked near the entrance. 

As she entered the bar she was surprised to see Raven playing pool with Anya…did that mean? She looked around and spotted Octavia, Clarke and Bellamy and some other guys from the team sitting to the table next to her friends. Okay so everyone was invited to the party expect for her? Or what the fuck was this? She was already in a bad mood but now it got worse, her friends finally noticed her and waved at her with smiles on their faces.   
”LEXA” Gustus moved so she could sit down next to him.   
”Whats going on here?” Lexa wondered.  
”Anya wanted to spend time with the Latina and we got them as well apparently” Gustus explained.   
”Why didn’t you call me?” Lexa crossed her arms.  
”Umm…sorry, we just woke up, had some hangover pizza and ended up here” He said nervously.  
”Whatever” Lexa sighed as she looked around to see if Costia was close by.  
”She’s in the bathroom” Gustus knew what she was looking for.  
”I’m not in the mood for her today” Lexa shrugged and then she saw the bathroom door open and Costia walked out with her friend Nessa by her side.   
”I got your back” Gustus calmed her down.  
”Lexa?” Costia spotted her and rushed to sit down at their table.   
”Hey” Lexa looked at her, trying to show her ex that she was not having the best day.   
”You never texted me back” She asked.  
”Busy and I fell asleep early, also we broke up” Lexa reminded her.  
”About that…That’s what I wanted to talk about” Costia tried to reach for Lexa hands but she moved them from the table.  
”No, I am done” Lexa crossed her arms. ”Let’s not do this now”   
”Come on, it was a silly fight…I was just mad”   
”You are always just mad Costia…not now okay?” Lexa warned her.   
”But…”  
”FUCK, just shut up” Lexa raised her voice and realized that she caught everyones attention at the bar. ”It was mistake coming here” Lexa stood up.  
”Lexa” Anya tried but she ignored it and walked out the pub, she could tell someone was following her since she could hear the door slam again.   
”Go away Costia” She yelled without looking back.   
”Wait” That wasn’t her ex, she looked around as saw Clarke jogging towards her.   
”Clarke?”   
”Yeah…that was quite a show in there”   
”Here to give me another lecture? Then please save it” Lexa sighed.   
”I wanted to see if you where okay?” Clarke nervously asked and Lexa’s body relaxed a little, the blonde seemed sincere.   
”I don’t deserve your kindness” Lexa shook her head. ”I have been an total ass too you…I think you have been right all along, stay away from me”   
”I asked if you are okay?” Clarke stepped closer. ”You seemed off the minute you walked into the bar?”   
”Rough day” Lexa admitted as she studied the girl in front of her, she couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or just…tried to do something? Trick her? Get back to her? She had been shitty towards Clarke so why wouldn’t she try to get her back? ”So you checked me out huh?” Again with her comments, she literally just couldn’t help it. Her mind couldn’t let go of the fact that Clarke noticed her.   
”Costia..?” Clarke wondered.  
”It’s not because of her, well she’s a part of it but…” Lexa struggled. ”I have bigger concerns and she’s getting on my nerves”  
”Hmm…I know an other girl that is pretty good at stepping at other peoples nerves” Clarke teased and Lexa couldn’t help but shyly smile.  
”Oh, she sounds annoying”   
”Yeah a total bitch” Clarke smirked.  
”Bet she looks fine though” Lexa locked eyes with blue eyes, she couldn’t control herself around Clarke and it was like her concerns was on pause.   
”Fishing for compliments? Like you need them?” Clarke nervously smiled at her.   
”What do you mean?” Lexa stepped closer mesmerized by Clarke’s eyes as she with confident placed and arm on her waist. Ever since their moment in the bathroom Lexa had wanted to feel Clarke’s body close to her again, she couldn't help herself.  
”I don’t think people need to tell you that you are gorgeous” Clarke breathed.  
”You are gorgeous” Lexa told her.  
”I think you are a bit close” Clarke bit her lip.   
”Do you want me to back away?” Lexa asked.   
”Yeah” Clarke hesitated.   
”You don’t seem that sure?” Lexa breathed.  
”Last time was a mistake” Clarke swallowed.   
”Okay..” Lexa studied her, she didn’t want to do anything if the blonde didn’t want too. ”You are not moving?” She teased Clarke.  
”I think you…” Clarke sadly backed away from Lexa’s grip and she already missed her presence, she was crushing hard on this girl. ”You use people Lexa…take advantage off them, you use your beauty to draw people in and then you stab them in their back”   
”That’s not true” Lexa got caught off guard. ”Clarke..?”   
”Isn’t that what you did, visit my work…acting nice, just to get some dirt from me?”   
”That’s not…” Lexa wasn’t sure how to explain herself.   
”I just…hope you are okay. That’s all I wanted to know” Clarke took a deep breath. ”But I don’t like people playing with me and I am not Costia…I see you for what you really are”   
”Okay” Lexa didn’t want to argue, she was snapped back to reality again and remembered her shitty day.   
”That’s all you have to say?” Clarke questioned her.   
”I fucked up…you’re probably right” Lexa didn’t want Clarke to notice how hurt she was. ”Go back in there, have fun with your friends, or mine? I don’t even know anymore” Lexa gave her one last look before she turned around to get to her car and then she drove home to the empty mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay..question for you. 
> 
> Do you want a slow burn or not? Haha, I am being nice and might listen to you :P 
> 
> And did you like to read from Lexa's perspective? 
> 
> Hope you had a great weekend! :)


	7. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a hard day for Clarke.

Clarke got to school with an heavy heart, her mom had tried to make her stay home but she needed a distraction. She was there early, too early - she was probably the first student there. She She chose a corner close to her locker and sat down, she needed to be alone right now. She reached for her phone and looked at the old voice message and wondered if it would just be painful to hear, probably. Since she didn’t have class until an hour she grabbed her headphones and hesitated for a few seconds before she pressed play. 

”Darling, it’s your old dad” Clarke got teary immediately and her heart felt heavier than before. ”Just wondering what you want for dinner tonight? I will be home early…umm…you are probably in class right now but I can’t wait to see you. I missed you kiddo, call me back. I love you!” 

Clarke felt tears streaming down her cheeks, she had heard that voice message before - she knew that but she hadn’t dared to listen to it ever since. Her father had been away for a business trip for over a week, she remember how glad she was when she came home that day. She and her dad made dinner together and surprised her mom who got as excited as her to see him. Her father and Clarke had a great relationship and ever since he passed it was like a piece of her was missing. She pressed play again and listened to it one more time, she let herself cry as she crawled her body up in the little corner she was sitting in. 

Eventually she lost track on how many times she had listened to it and she wasn’t sure she had anymore tears to cry - she missed him so freaking much. She looked at the time and realized some students would probably start entering the school soon, she took the headphones out and wiped her tears away and used her iPhone camera to see how messed up she looked. Swollen and red eyes, you could tell she had been crying so she grabbed an napkin and wiped under her eyes and nose. 

”Fuck” She sighed and reached for her powder - it didn’t help much but at least it looked a little bit better. She decided to sit there and calm herself down and maybe her swollen face would too. After a few minutes she finally felt strong enough to get to her feet, she took a few deep breaths and practiced her fake smile - not possible. She felt completely numb. 

”Clarke?” Octavia was surprised to see her as she had eventually reached her locker a while later.  
”Hey” She mumbled back, not really looking at her friend - she knew Octavia would notice.  
”What are you doing here? You should take the day off?” Octavia knew what day it was as well.   
”I can’t be home” Clarke sighed and grabbed her math book.   
”Are you okay?” Octavia carefully asked.   
”Clarke?” Raven spotted her and wrapped her arms around her. ”Fuck..” She breathed into the hug. ”Let me know if you need anything today, okay?” Clarke could feel herself tear up again and wasn’t able to answer, she had to control her breathing to not cry out. ”It’s okay” Raven hushed her.   
”Thanks” Clarke finally managed to say.

The day went by slow, she was there but not really there - she was just starring at nothing all day - everything was just background noise, she wasn’t sure if it was loud or low - if she missed something important and had no idea if someone called her name. She was just lost, like she was misplaced today. Not sure if she was existing or not. 

She dragged her feet through the hallways, she made her ways to class - it was like her body knew where to be because she had done this so many times before. Walking to class, sitting down, grabbing her new book, opening them, going back to her locker, walking down the hallways again.   
She was about to move from her locker once again when she felt an hand on her shoulder, she turned around and saw the principal that looked at her concerned. The last students in the hallways rushed away and it was only the two of them left.  
”Clarke” He said carefully. ”I got some concerns about you today from your teachers…I know this must be a hard day and I hope you know it’s okay if you want to take the day off”   
”I’m fine” Clarke lied as she didn’t look at Kane, he knew what day it was - he had actually been pretty close to her dad as, he was probably hurting today as well.  
”Okay, I spoke with them…to give you some space today. Just…my door is always open Clarke” He smiled at her with comforting eyes. ”I miss him too” He admitted.   
”Yeah…” Clarke was hit by a wave of emotions and had to hold her breath to not start crying again, Kane noticed.  
”Take the day off…is there anyone who can be with you today?” He asked.  
”I can” Lexa had overheard their conversation, or most of it at least.   
”How nice off you Lexa” Kane looked at her. ”Nice to see that the two of you get a long…oh well, like I said, anything Clarke. Take care of each other now”   
”Thanks” Clarke didn’t look at the brunette.  
”So what should we do?” Lexa asked.  
”Nothing, I meant thanks for getting him out of here…I know he means well but I just…can’t today”   
”I noticed you have not been yourself today” Lexa studied the blonde.   
”Yeah” Clarke started walking away but Lexa followed her.   
”Hey you shouldn’t be alone right now…” She told her.   
”I am having a shitty day okay…please I can’t right now”   
”I actually know a lot about shitty days, do you want a distraction or not?” Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke stopped walking to look at the brunette, she actually wanted one - but with her? Or maybe that was the best way to be distracted today?  
”Fuck it, fine…” Clarke gave in.   
”Alright” Lexa gave her short smile. ”Let’s go to my car” 

”So where are we going?” Clarke asked as she sat in the front seat next to Lexa, just by the smell you could tell this was an expensive car - well of course if you just looked at is tool. It was almost like she was scared of just sitting there - in case if she broke anything.   
”We could go to my house…and I could give you a real tour of the crib”   
”Aren’t your parents there?” Clarke wondered - or they where probably at work.  
”Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that” Lexa scoffed and started driving.   
”So…” Clarke looked at Lexa.  
”So what?”   
”Don’t you wanna ask me about why I am upset?”   
”Not if you don’t want to talk about it” Lexa answered casually and Clarke was pleased with the answer.   
”Okay cool”   
”I will force you to play ping pong with me though” Lexa told her as she made a left turn after an green light.   
”If you want to lose…sure” Clarke said cocky.   
”Okay, there she is” Lexa smiled at her. ”It’s actually really relaxing for the mind”   
”It’s pretty intense?” Clarke questioned her.  
”Exactly, there is no time to think about anything else - you need to focus on the ball swinging back and forth” 

Lexa had been right, playing the game had been relaxing somehow - she wasn’t that good at it but she didn’t care and Lexa for once didn’t tease her about it. They had some music blasting in the background and was just casually playing the game, she was distracted - Lexa had been right.

”Feel any better” Lexa was a little out of breath and lowered the music.  
”Okay, you where right - it feels a little bit better” Clarke admitted.  
”So what about a tour?” Lexa suggested. ”This can also get pretty boring easily” Lexa explained.   
”This house is…I’m speechless” Clarke looked around as they walked out what Lexa had called the game room.   
”I guess” Lexa shrugged.  
”So your parents aren’t home often?” Clarke asked as she remember what Lexa had said in the car.  
”No…” Lexa shook her head. ”Mom was diagnosed with cancer before the summer began…it got pretty rough quickly and dad has been obsessed with finding an doctor that can cure her…it was people here constantly the whole summer and in the end I could barely recognize her”   
”I’m sorry” Clarke had no idea.   
”Then my father sent me and my sister away…when school just started as you might remember and when we got back he had flied mom away from here. He doesn’t tell me anything…and he wont allow me to talk to her”  
”That’s awful” Clarke couldn’t imagine the situation, and she actually felt bad for Lexa, that must be heavy to carry around.   
”Yeah…so…” Lexa opened an door. ”My room” She said and Clarke entered it, it was dark colors but with white walls, a great combination. A big flatscreen in front of the huge bed that looked extremely comfy, the room was tidy. ”We have a house cleaner…” Lexa explained.  
”I like it” Clarke said. ”Doesn’t it get lonely?” She wondered, she was curious about what Lexa just shared with her, it made her somehow more human in her eyes.  
”Yeah…It’s lonely everyday” Lexa got vulnerable. ”Damn…I haven’t told anyone this before”  
”Today is exactly one year since my dad passed away” Clarke felt like she wanted to share her story now. ”I wasn’t sure how it would affect me…I just miss him so fucking much”   
”Fuck…and I suggested ping pong?” Lexa was unsure what to say and felt stupid.   
”Honestly it helped, I needed that…he passed in a sudden heart attack. It shook us all as he was a perfectly healthy man, one day he was here and the next one he was gone. I didn’t have a chance to tell him how much I love him you know…”  
”He knows”  
”I just…like if your dad is pushing you away…if you are unsure on how much time your mom has left…I just find it rude, it’s precious time. He shouldn’t take that away from you, it should be your choice”   
”Tell him that…” Lexa sighed. ”Fuck we are depressing aren’t we?”   
”I guess” Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle, it felt good - like some of her anxiety went out with it.   
”So do you need anymore distractions?” Lexa asked and Clarke misread the question.  
”You’re turned on right now?”   
”Oh…” Lexa was surprised. ”I was gonna suggest get high or drunk but okay…”   
”Fuck” Clarke bury her face in her hands. ”Forget that please”  
”I’ll let that one slip for today” Lexa winked at her but smitten that Clarke thought what she did.  
”I have never been high before” Clarke admitted.  
”We don’t have to” Lexa brushed it off.  
”I think I do…” Clarke wasn’t sure what had gotten into her, but something about Lexa pressed on some old habits in her soul - the reckless Clarke before she became an A-student. Not in a bad way though, just the feeling of remembering how fun it can be to be a teenager sometimes. It was about making silly mistakes and stupid choices so you didn’t have to do them as an adult. When her dad passed it was like she had to grow up, there was no space for mistakes or fun - Clarke didn’t want to admit it but she missed just being a teenager without all the responsibilities.   
”Are you sure?” Lexa opened a little box placed on her desk and took out a plastic bag with weed in it. ”Everyone reacts differently but if you just stay relaxed it should be fine…”  
”Will it make me relax?”  
”Or laugh” Lexa chuckled as she started rolling the joint.   
”Fuck, let’s do it…but can it stay between us though?” Clarke went closer to the brunette so that she could face her and read her expression.   
”Yeah” Lexa said calmly as she slowly dragged her tongue against the paper, Clarke couldn’t help but stare at it and she was pretty sure the brunette knew what she was doing because she was staring intense at the blonde while doing it. ”Good to go” She breathed out and looked away to find a lighter, Clarke was glad because she hadn’t been able to look away otherwise.   
”We didn’t even finish the tour”   
”Another time” Lexa casually said like they would hang out soon.   
”Do you have any cool outside views?” Clarke asked.  
”How about the roof?” Lexa smirked and Clarke nodded excited.

It was as magic as she had imagined, they could see the whole city from there - it was peaceful and extremely calming. Watching the cars that was so small from up there, turning and stopping, the birds flying by or the people walking.   
”I am extremely jealous of your home” It was breathtaking.   
”I like it better with you here” Lexa said and it looked like she got surprised by her own words.   
”It’’s nice” Clarke quickly said to not make her feel awkward, it wasn’t a lie so.   
”So just take a small puff, you might cough…it’s normal - it’s toxic in your lungs”   
”Can I watch you do it first?” Clarke asked and Lexa smiled as she lit the joint - she felt almost like a criminal but in an goofy way.  
”So just follow my move” Lexa inhaled the smoke and held it in her lungs for a while before breathing out, she then looked over at Clarke and passed the joint to her. Clarke grabbed it and slowly moved it to her lips, she did exactly what Lexa did and too her surprise she didn’t cough.  
”Bad ass” Lexa nodded impressed. ”I coughed like an idiot the first time”   
”It burned a little bit” Clarke said as she blew out the smoke, not as gracious as Lexa but whatever.   
”And now we just finish it” Lexa shrugged as Clarke passed it to her again. They smoked the joint in silence as they enjoyed the view in front of them, every once in a while Lexa checked if she was alright and Clarke found it adorable. 

”Do you feel anything?” Lexa asked after a while as they finished smoking it.  
”I feel amazing” Clarke chuckled, it wasn’t funny but she couldn’t help but laugh.  
”Okay you are a laughing one” Lexa laughed at her.  
”I don’t know what’s funny” Clarke bursted out in an louder laugh and Lexa joined her.

They started talking about random things and Clarke couldn’t remember the last time she laughed this much, she felt absolutely amazing and she didn’t want for this trip to end but eventually it did.

”It’s getting late” Clarke sighed as she noticed how dark it had gotten.  
”Yeah…you should drink some water before sleep”  
”Am I a bad person for laughing this much today..? For even having fun”   
”I think your dad would rather see you happy than suffer” Lexa looked at her.  
”Maybe you’re right…it doesn’t feel wrong, it felt like I was drowning earlier and now I am finally over the surface” Clarke explained it. ”Thanks to you..” She looked at Lexa who stared back at her as she stroke some brown hair behind her ear.   
”Glad I could help” Lexa told her. ”Want me to give you a ride home?”  
”You already done enough”   
”I want too” Lexa stood up and reached out her hand to help Clarke get up to her feet.   
”My place isn’t really as fancy as your place but it’s not far from here”   
”I bet it’s lovely” Lexa said and as they walked back downstairs and as it was dark Clarke couldn’t help but feel bad for the brunette, it must be super lonely to be here by herself all the time. As it was dark it just looked cold and…stiff?   
”Will your sister come home at least?” Clarke wondered as they got inside the car.  
”I don’t know”   
”Will you be okay?”   
”Yeah” Lexa looked at her. ”I’m used to it now” 

Clarke wanted to invite Lexa to her place but she knew it was weird and would probably send out the wrong message, she just couldn’t shake the feeling of Lexa being alone in that big mansion. However, as they parked on her street and where saying their goodbyes she was too scared to ask the question. 

They separated and Clarke went to bed thinking about Lexa Woods, the mysterious brown haired girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some split thoughts on the slow burn, I will try my best to please you all! 
> 
> I hope you like this new chapter, love to read your comments! 
> 
> Take care! <3


	8. Burning questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke are up against some questions.

”Did I just see you and Lexa smile at each other?” Raven looked at Clarke, they where having their lunch break and where sitting at their usual table with Octavia, Lincoln and Bellamy.   
”Umm…no?” Clarke shrugged, it was a lie - they had locked eyes and Clarke had smiled at her and Lexa returned the smile.   
”Thought so considering she’s been a total dick towards you”  
”She’s not that bad” Clarke said, she hadn’t told her friends that she went to Lexa’s place yesterday. She didn’t know how to explain it.   
”Are you kidding?” Octavia scoffed. ”She turned the whole school against you and you got bullied for the day…she’s THAT bad”   
”What about Anya?” Clarke looked at Raven.  
”She’s not Lexa”   
”So are you two like a thing now or?”   
”We are just hanging out…we haven’t done anything” Raven told her. ”Plus she’s not like Lexa…they might be complete opposite off each other, Anya actually has a sense off humor”   
”Fine” Clarke didn’t feel like arguing this, she knew Lexa had been mean to her but she did apologize for it and…she was there for her when she missed her dad.   
”Don’t go soft now, you have your first campaign speech soon…” Raven looked at her.  
”I know…I need to focus” Clarke agreed, even if she maybe wasn’t hating Lexa anymore - she still had to win this.   
”Anything we can do?” Octavia wondered.  
”It’s just a short speech, I worked on it…might be some questions for me and Lexa but I can’t prepare for them”   
”Want me to ask a question that you can prepare?” Bellamy looked at her.  
”You are genius sometimes” Raven looked at him.  
”Might be to obvious…a nice idea but I won’t take any chances, speaking off - I need to go change my outfit”   
”Okay we will be there!” Raven winked at her. ”MAKE US PROUD” 

Clarke made her way to her locker and grabbed a white shirt, she had nice black pants already that would fit perfectly with the shirt. She rushed through the school to get the changing rooms close to the assembly hall. As she was changing she swore to herself as she hadn’t put on a bra that day, she put on a big sweatshirt this morning and forgot about it.   
”Hey” Lexa entered the room, she had changed into a black suit with a white shirt under it as well. ”Hey” Clarke finished the last button and turned around.   
”Oh…” Lexa smirked as she looked down at Clarke’s cleavage.   
”What?” Clarke questioned her.  
”You know your shirt is see through right? Lexa smirked as Clarke covered herself with her arms.  
”What?” She had to look down herself and realized that yes, you could perfectly see her breast.  
”Might get you a few votes” The brunette chuckled as she wasn’t able to look away.  
”This isn’t funny? I wont have time to get another shirt…I can’t go out there with my ugly as sweatshirt”   
”Okay calm down…” Lexa took off her black jacket and handed it to her, it was just now Clarke realized how good the brunette looked in a suit. ”Wear this, it should cover your um…breasts”   
”Really?” Clarke looked at her surprised and Lexa went closer to help Clarke pull it over, she couldn’t help but shiver being so close and Lexa’s gently touching her arms.   
”Let me see” Lexa mumbled and Clarke turned around. ”Problem solved”   
”Thank you…” Clarke breathed.  
”Thank you” Lexa teased her.   
”Gosh…I’m so embarrassed, stop” Clarke pushed Lexa gently on her arm.   
”Nothing to be embarrassed about” Lexa calmly told her. ”Do you hear me complain?”   
”Of course you’re not” Clarke caught herself flirting.   
”So…” Lexa stepped a little bit closer. ”Good luck” Clarke could feel her breathing getting heavier, the sexual tension in the room right now was ridiculous. She noticed how Lexa was starring at her intense, her green eyes where hungry but she didn’t make a move…maybe out off respect because Clarke pushed her away the last time she got close?   
”I…really want to kiss you right now” Clarke admitted out loud and she looked at Lexa’s reaction, a smile appeared on her face.  
”I thought it was a mistake?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.  
”Probably is…” Clarke couldn’t take it anymore, she had craved those lips since their last kiss so she threw her arms around Lexa’s neck and collided their lips once more, Lexa didn’t fight it she put her arms around Clarke’s waist too pull her closer before moving a hand to the blonde’s neck. Clarke shivered by the touch and started exploring Lexa’s tongue with her’s, Lexa was a great kisser. She couldn’t help but untuck Lexa’s shirt that was seconds ago tidy, she needed to feel more of the brunette, Lexa gave her a sexy chuckle as she helped Clarke out of the jacket she just borrowed her but a knock on the door made the girls jump away from each other.  
”Girls” It was Kane. ”Are you ready?” They both looked at each other, sexually frustrated.   
”Yeah” Lexa replied as she tucked her shirt back in as she looked playfully at Clarke as she pulled the jacket back on stressed. ”I thought you where too good for me?” She lowered her voice.   
”Shut up” Clarke shook her head as she fixed her lipstick but couldn’t help but smile, these secret make-outs was really turning her on. 

Clarke was not usually nervous but standing there talking in front of almost the entire school while Lexa was basically undressing her with her green eyes was…something she had never experienced before.   
”Reasons to vote for me is that I know what this school needs, I have listened to all of you these past weeks and I hear you and I agree with you…” Clarke glanced over at Lexa, she teasingly bit her lip with that stupid smirk on her face.   
”Question?” Kane looked at the left corner. ”Give him a microphone”   
”Thank you, hi my name is Nathan Miller for people who might not know me…I am a proud gay man and I just wonder how you feel about the false accusations Lexa made about you?” Clarke swallowed at the question and suddenly Lexa wasn’t smiling anymore.  
”I must say I was surprised… I think most of you all know that my mind is not that small, this is what I have been working on for so long, a school where people don't have to be afraid in, feel ashamed or like an outsider. Maybe Lexa thought she was defending the community…” Clarke looked at her again, she was listening carefully at her words. The blonde knew she couldn’t just let this one slip, they would see her as weak if she did. ”I think she could off have just simply asked me personally, or act when the misunderstanding happened…I mean she didn’t know my situation and obviously didn’t know I was bisexual. I wasn’t really open about it but Lexa forced me to come out in front of all of you…I am not ashamed of who I am but somethings I like to keep with my inner circle, it’s nothing I regret because I am proud of who I am - I regret that you had to find out the way you did - because of someone who should support and stand by me put me in a corner.”  
”Come on” Lexa used her microphone and looked shocked at Clarke. ”I understand I was in the wrong, I do apologize for that. I misunderstood the situation like you said”   
”But” Nathan interrupted her. ”How can we trust someone who says they are behind us when you out them the way you did?”   
”I thought I was protecting you” Lexa seemed stressed. ”I understand how you feel, I would react the same. It was not my intentions and I have to work to gain your trust again but I will prove it to you. I am on your side Miller, always”   
”That’s all” He sat down again and the rest of the questions where not as intense but the playful looks from Lexa was gone, she seemed stone cold again.

As soon at it was over Lexa grabbed her arm when they where out of sight and dragged her to the side to not be disturbed.  
”What the fuck was that?” She said frustrated.   
”He asked the question Lexa”   
”You didn’t really make it any better”   
”I am sorry that you had to own up for your mistakes but we are still running against each other”   
”Yeah..and that’s it” Lexa swore to herself under her breath. ”Can I get my jacket back?”   
”Of course” Clarke took it off as she tried to read the brunette, she understood that she was stressed but how could she not understand? ”I didn’t mean to upset you..”   
”No you did what you had to do, I get that” Lexa grabbed the jacket.   
”You did great on the other questions” Clarke tried.  
”I don’t need you to pity me Clarke” She rolled her name out. ”This probably is a mistake, you where probably right, I see that now” Lexa sighed and gave her one last look before she left leaving Clarke alone and confused. 

Clarke couldn’t shake it off, even as she was sitting at her and her friends favorite café once school had ended. They where celebrating Nathan’s question, he was a part of the soccer team and apparently Bellamy had asked him to pop the question. Clarke knew they just wanted to help and just a week ago she would have celebrated with them but it felt wrong now, she had just getting used with getting along with Lexa and now it was over? 

”You seem down?” Bellamy asked her.   
”No, it went really well”   
”Yeah I talked to some students afterwards, they loved it” He chuckled, I knew I couldn’t do it…but I mean I had to do something for you. You are a leader and people should start seeing that”   
”That was brilliant big brother” Octavia smiled at him.  
”Clarke” Raven lowered her voice.  
”Yeah?” She looked at her best friend.  
”Anya texted and wanted to hang out, do you get mad if I leave the party early?”   
”No…go have fun kiddo” Clarke smiled at her, it was cute that she asked her first - not needed at all, she was just glad they wanted to celebrate with her.  
”Gustus threatened us did you hear that” Bellamy scoffed. ”Speaking of Anya” As he overheard their conversation.  
”What?” Clarke looked at him.  
”Yeah something about being careful, that he knew what we where up too ”  
”When?” Clarke got curious.  
”A while after the campaign, he probably knows I got your back” He smiled.   
”Why would he…”   
”Let’s just say we are not on their good side anymore, it was a short but bittersweet friendship” Bellamy scoffed while some off the guys from the team laughed with him.  
”It’s getting dirty now…” Raven shrugged. ”Anyways, see you guys later”   
”See you” They all waved her goodbye.   
”I can’t believe Gustus did that…” Clarke shook her head.  
”Well we did you a favor I guess…you should’ve seen Lexa’s face” Bellamy said proudly. ”She looked pissed”   
”I don’t know why that would upset them this much” Clarke wondered.   
”I am surprised Anya wants to hang out with Raven..She was pissed about it as well” Bellamy said.  
”At least we are not lying or making things up” Clarke shrugged, still unsure how she felt about the situation. 

They relaxed at the café for a while, luckily talking about other things. Bellamy and the boys was excited for their next game while her and Octavia talked about a new show they both where watching on Netflix. Clarke was a bit behind but she rarely found time to watch TV even though she loved it. Getting hooked on a tv-show and binge watching was an amazing feeling, just getting lost in another world for a while. 

Clarke’s phones stared buzzing, it was Raven and she hurried to answer it.  
”Hey girl”   
”Clarke” Raven seemed out of breath.  
”Whats wrong?”   
”Me and Anya sort of got into a fight about you…she was a bit pissed about today and I defended you of course”  
”And…?” Clarke was curious because of what Bellamy had told her earlier.  
”It escalated and I am pissed as well Clarke, I am furious - no more friendly acts from us, they are playing us dirty and we should too. Enemies from now on”   
”Raven…” Clarke sighed. ”We don’t have go to their level, we can be better and raise above them”  
”If you want too lose Clarke?” Raven questioned her. ”Come on, I have seen how you look at Lexa, you are getting a soft spot for her and I can’t understand how - and don’t deny it. I know you better than you know yourself, we can’t forget that these people are careless and rude - they don’t care about our feelings so why should we?”   
”And your feelings?” Clarke knew that it was something else that was bothering her.  
”Not about me” Raven bursted out. ”She doesn’t seem to care about me anyways so…”  
”Raven…” Clarke felt for her friend. ”Wanna stay at my place tonight? Mom is working a night shift, we can have a sleepover”   
”Yes…I’d like that” Raven sighed. ”We have a lot of plans to make”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again, I hope you like the new chapter! :)


	9. Protective sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another late night.

Clarke had calmed Raven down the other night and was glad she wasn’t as obsessed with getting back at Lexa, well Anya really. She didn’t like the situation at all, the brunette hadn’t given her any attention these last few days and Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about her. She saw her surrounded by her little ”fans” that adored her, she made them laugh and even took some selfies with some off them. It was like she was this little celebrity at school, Lexa damn Woods - but Clarke had seen a small window into her real world, she was pretty sure that it was all fake smiles. 

She wondered if Lexa had spoken to her mother, or if her father was still pushing his kids away. Perhaps he did it because he thought he was protecting them, her mother was a doctor and she had told her many sad stories - sometimes you could barely recognize the sick in the end. Some people actually wanted to protect their kids for remembering their grandparents that way for example but Lexa was old enough to make that decision herself. This must affect Lexa more than she admitted but also Clarke believed she was strong for even standing tall and trying her best her. It was pretty impressive.

For the moment Clarke and her friends was hanging by the lockers, wasting time until their next class and she was just scrolling through Instagram when a voice they now all recognized approached them.  
”And what do we have here” Anya scoffed and Clarke looked up, it was Anya, Lexa, Gustus and some other dude she didn’t know the name off.   
”What do you want?” Raven glared at her crossing her arms.  
”Just passing by” Anya smirked at her.   
”Can we all just behave like grown-ups?” Clarke questioned both of them also because she wanted to calm them all down so no one else got involved to make it worse. ”Why are we even fighting?” She looked at Lexa but she was just starring at the floor, trying to ignore it all.   
”Because I know what you guys did the other day to my sister” Anya told her.   
”I wasn’t aware off it and my friends just wanted to help…and it’s not like you played nice before?”   
”Whatever, just stay away from us” Anya rolled her eyes.   
”Mature” Raven mumbled but she caught it.   
”You - ”  
”Come on, enough” Lexa stopped her. ”Let’s just get out of here”   
”Fine…” Anya listened to her sister and so did the rest of them, they did respect the brunette - and walked away without another word.  
”I can’t believe them” Raven shook her head as she watched them walk away..  
”We are not gonna make this worse” Clarke sighed. ”What happened between you two really? This can’t just be about the campaign?”   
”We already had this conversation Clarke” Raven looked at her.  
”Fine, I have to go…I have a class that starts in five” Clarke looked at the time before she rushed away. 

She was glad it was her last class and that it was only for 45 minutes because she knew Lexa had history right now and she wanted to catch the brunette before she went home. The brunettes class would end in fifteen minutes but it was on the other side off the school three floors down so she rushed through the hallways and as she finally got there she was glad to see they where are all still seated in the classroom. Clarke decided to wait a bit further away from the door but close enough to see what way Lexa would turn. 

It didn’t take long before the door swung open and students started to walk out, all excited to be finally be able to go home. Lexa walked out trying to get her book into her backpack and didn’t notice Clarke that tried to get her attention so she had to caught up to her speed.  
”Hey” Clarke announced herself and Lexa looked at her.  
”Hey” She said as she zipped her bag and threw it over one shoulder.   
”Can we talk?” Clarke asked.   
”I guess” Lexa shrugged and stopped walking.   
”I don’t want too fight with you” Clarke nervously said.   
”Are we fighting?” Lexa questioned her.   
”I thought…” Clarke looked at her confused.  
”My sister is stubborn, I don’t know what she is so pissed about but I honestly don’t have the energy to care.”   
”Oh - okay”   
”And I admit I was a bit angry after the speech but I calmed down, I wasn’t prepared for it but I mean, now I know how you felt. It’s shitty”   
”Yeah, it is” Clarke wasn’t sure what to say now, she wasn’t prepared for Lexa to be this calm but she was glad that she was.  
”So we’re cool” Lexa started to slowly walk again and Clarke followed.   
”What are you doing now?” She asked.   
”Asking me on a date?” Lexa joked and Clarke couldn’t help but smile, she had actually missed her flirty comments.   
”I didn’t get to finish that tour…I mean I think you owe me that”   
”Oh…” Lexa smiled and looked at her. ”I owe you something?”   
”Maybe I can think off one thing that can make you forgive me” Clarke teased her.   
”You..” Lexa breathed out as she put an arm around Clarke’s waist and pulled her closer as they where walking. ”I can think about more than one” She whispered into her ear and Clarke couldn’t help but feel excited, something about being in Lexa’s arms, walking together - having her attention again made her happy.   
”What the fuck is this?” Someone yelled behind them and the girls had to turn around and separate because they knew it was Anya.  
”Sis” Lexa looked at her.  
”This is why you are so soft?” She got closer to them. ”You’re fucking your opponent? Isn’t that typical you, screwing everyone you get close too”   
”What the fuck are you talking about” Lexa sighed. ”Chill Anya”   
”This is not happening” Anya dragged her to the side but Clarke could still hear what they said.  
”I can do whatever I want, it has nothing to do with the campaign”   
”I know your fragile little heart, she will break it and then I will have to pick up the pieces again”   
”We are not even a thing so you can relax”   
”You’re coming with me” Anya looked at her serious. ”I know you think I am harsh but you know I am just protecting you little sis. Like always”   
”I can take care off myself thank you”   
”No Lexa, it’s Clarke Griffin - she’s playing with you. She thinks she’s to good for us believe me, that group haven’t even laid an eye on us before and suddenly they are all so interested in all off us”   
”I can’t deal with this…fuck” Lexa looked over at Clarke. ”I am sorry, another time”   
”No…” Anya looked at Clarke as well. ”You stay away from my sister you hear me?” She didn’t know what to say so she just watched the sisters walk away and Lexa looked back to give her another apologizing look. 

Anya’s word was stuck in her mind though, even if she tried to keep busy doing her homework it couldn’t help but bother her. Did she really believe what she said? That they are from different worlds or something? Maybe they didn’t really have the same interests or whatever but it didn’t mean they where complete opposite? They started talking because they had something in common now, the campaigns. 

She sighed, she didn’t even have to study - she was far ahead and was getting bored every second. Clarke knew it was getting late but she was restless and would not be able to sleep now, fuck she really wanted to hang out with Lexa today - they where finally talking again but…Anya got in the way? Her phone buzzed and interrupted her thoughts, it was a notification from messenger on Facebook. 

Lexa Woods: Hey, I am outside your apartment in my car, can you come down so we can talk?

Clarke stared at it for a few seconds, thrilled the brunette reached out but scared about what she wanted to talk about.

Clarke Griffin: Sure, I’ll be down soon. 

She carefully sneaked pass her mothers room, knowing she was sleeping by now - heavy probably due to all the extra shifts she’s been having lately. Lexa’s car was parked close to her entrance and the brunette was chilling in the backseat of her car so Clarke carefully knocked on the window to notice the brunette before she got in.   
”Why are you sitting here?” Clarke wondered.   
”To finish what we started” Lexa simply said before she leaned in and aggressively kissed her, Clarke was more than surprised but damn it was sexy and she was not complaining. They where both thirsty for each other and before Clarke knew it she was straddling the brunette - hands everywhere and heavy breathing. She slightly moved her hips into the kisses and the brunette moaned, this wasn’t enough.   
”We can’t do it here” Clarke breathed heavy before kissing her again and Lexa moved her hands to Clarke’s face and looked at her with eager eyes taking a big breath before she leant her forehead on Clarke’s trying to collect herself.  
”I know” She whispered. ”I know”   
”Fuck…” Clarke bit her lip and carefully fixed Lexa’s hair while the brunette just stared at her in awe. She put two fingers under Lexa’s chin so that she could get a good look at the brunette. ”You are truly beautiful”   
”You are going to be death for me” Lexa smiled at her as her grip around Clarke relaxed a little bit, both trying to calm down.   
”I want to do this but not here” Clarke told her.   
”All the people walking by makes it exciting” Lexa winked at her.   
”I would rather not end up on a porn site” Clarke chuckled as she moved to sit next to Lexa instead, it was pretty cramped sitting on top of her.   
”I actually wanted to talk to you…” Lexa shook her head. ”But when I saw you I just couldn’t help myself.”   
”Distract me from jumping all over you again…let’s talk” Clarke was resting her hand on Lexa’s leg and decided to rest her head on her shoulder, Lexa was comfortable and she smelled nice, especially her hair.   
”Yeah well I am sorry about my sister…she’s a bit overprotective”   
”She doesn’t know you are here does she?”   
”No…” She admitted. ”I know you might think it’s weird but maybe we can keep it low until it calms down”   
”Did someone hurt you in the past?” Clarke couldn’t help but ask but maybe it was a bit personal.  
”A lot of people did but yeah…We can save that story for another time”   
”You do know that I don’t think I am too good for you right?” Clarke glanced at her. ”It should probably be the other way around, that you’re too good for me”   
”Or maybe we shouldn’t think like that at all, who decided what’s good for someone?” Lexa asked.  
”That’s a good point”   
”And I mean you heard my sister” Lexa smirked at her. ”If you hurt me she will probably punch your face”   
”She can be scary” Clarke chuckled.   
”Yeah…I know you might not be able to see it but she means well. She has always been there for me, maybe not in the way I need always but she tries”   
”I believe you” Clarke shrugged.   
”Can we stay here a little bit?” Lexa lingered their fingers together as she closed her eyes.   
”Yeah…” Clarke agreed and was leaning her head against Lexa’s shoulder again while her free hand was carefully caressing Lexa’s arm back and forth. ”I can’t believe we have to run against each other for president” She sighed.   
”Schh…” Lexa hushed her. ”Let’s pretend that mess is not existing right now”   
”Okay” Clarke smiled for herself, to be fair she just wanted to enjoy the moment as well.

She don’t know how long they where in that car but as soon she was in her bed again she missed the warmth of Lexa. She was really starting to like the brunette…like maybe actually falling for her. Clarke had never felt this way about anyone ever and it was a bit scary but still she hadn’t been this excited about anything in forever. Lexa made her heart feel alive again and it hadn’t felt alive since her dad passed away so yes it was a bit scary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> Fun to see all the comments from last chapter, I usually see comments about Lexa being a bit alone and Clarke has her friends backing her and so on. I do agree but for me at least I still use inspiration from the show too make it more relatable and therefor it might seem that way, it would be weird for me to make Bellamy and Lexa bestie's for example lol. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope that cleared some things up - and as some of you said, the friends are annoying and yeah haha I wanted to add some high school drama, and teenagers can be assholes. 
> 
> Let's see where this goes and please let me know what you think about the chapter! :)


	10. Secret hangouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke has to keep things on the low

Lexa was playfully kissing her neck as Clarke tried to study before her quiz in fifteen minutes.   
”Come on” She chuckled. ”I need to stu-” Lexa licked her neck and it made Clarke weak.   
”What?” Lexa teased her but moved away from her a little bit and took the book Clarke was holding from her. ”Okay let me quiz you”   
”Fine” Clarke smiled at her, they where hiding in small study room - they had found one without a window and with a locker.   
”Come on you know all of this?” Lexa looked through the questions. ”Even I do”   
”What if I forget something?” Clarke sighed.  
”You won’t” Lexa shrugged. ”You should rest your mind instead”   
”Are you just saying that so I will make out with you?”   
”Well we should take advantage of these 10 minutes we get every once in a while during the school days”   
”So for how long do you think Anya will stick around at home?” Clarke pouted.   
”I don’t know…we have people over all the time now” Lexa sighed. ”We can’t get any alone time”   
”Maybe my mom will have a night shift soon”   
”Are you sure she will tell Raven if I was there?” Lexa tried.  
”She can’t keep quiet and neither can Raven, they are like a perfect match it’s almost annoying how much alike they are sometimes - plus she would just assume that I told her since she’s my best friend”   
”Fuck…I don’t want to take any chances. Keep it low so Anya get’s bored and then…”   
”We don’t have to hide in your backseat or sneak around the school? My friends will start questioning this soon”   
”Don’t worry” Lexa smiled at her. ”No one will find out” She moved closer and placed her arms around the blonde.   
”It’s pretty exciting…” Clarke admitted. ”Maybe we should start exploring this whole hiding thing more”   
”What do you mean?” Lexa looked at her.   
”I mean…If we have to hide, let’s make it fun at least” Clarke smirked at her.   
”This isn’t fun?” Lexa pouted.   
”Of course it is” Clarke leaned in for a slow kiss, she wanted to enjoy her lips.   
”Good” Lexa was pleased.   
”Let’s not waste anymore of our precious time” Clarke leaned in for another kiss and Lexa met her halfway. 

Even if Clarke hated that she had to lie to her friends she didn’t want whatever what was going on between her and Lexa. The sneaking around, the hunger they had for each other and how frustrated they where getting. They had agreed that they didn’t want their first time to be in a hidden bathroom stall, cramped study room, the backseat of Lexa’s car or whatever place they found to make out in. 

Lexa was getting more annoyed by her sister as well, complaining how she was never home before and now that she actually wanted the house to be empty she was there all the time. Clarke tried to calm her down but she was scared Lexa would get tired of this soon, they didn’t really talk about their feelings for each other or how this would affect the campaign.

It worried her because next semester it would get down to votes, before summer one of them would be announced to be next years president. Could they survive this without arguing more? At the end off the day Clarke still needed this to get into collage, this is what she has been fighting for the last year. 

All the extra shifts at work, studying late, lack of sleep and after school activities she’s been so dedicated in - just because she happened to like her opponent? She wondered how Lexa felt about all off this but she didn’t dare to ask, they weren’t dating or a couple - they casually met to fool around. They hadn’t even had sex yet and maybe this was just a short fling? That the tension is causing them to act out like this? 

Clarke didn’t believe that, or at least that wasn’t the case for her. She actually liked Lexa a lot, she was smart, kind and fun. She seemed to have a caring heart that she just hid from the rest of the world, protecting it for some reason. 

People liked her for her popularity, looks and money - her parties and social success - there was no denying that the every student in this school envied her probably once or twice. Clarke had never been the one to be impressed over stuff like that, she of course had noticed her - it was impossible not too, every time she walked into a room the attention was on her. Clarke found herself starring every time now, the way she moved, spoke, talked - it all felt so put together. Like Lexa knew exactly how to please everyone, it was also sure that if you crossed any lines she would crush you. 

”Hey mom” Clarke answered her phone as she was restlessly dragging her feet to lunch to meet up with her friends.   
”Hey sweetie, how’s your day? Are you working tonight?” Abby asked.  
”No, I never work on Tuesdays you know that” Clarke sighed.   
”Oh that’s right…well I have to work a night shift today…and unfortunately there is no food at home I’m a little bit behind of grocery shopping”   
”It’s fine mom” Clarke told her.  
”There is some cash, you know where I keep it. Grab some for pizza okay?”   
”Okay”   
”Okay, I see you later. I love you honey”   
”I love you too” As she hung up she suddenly realized that she had the place for herself tonight, she turned around and rushed to where Lexa had her locker to try to catch her before she got to the cafeteria. 

Luckily the brunette was alone for now but there was people everywhere, she saw an empty classroom and opened the door carefully. She then waited for the brunette to pass her and when she did she quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her into the room.  
”What the fuck?” Lexa got surprised.  
”Schh” Clarke hushed her as she closed the door behind her.  
”Is this your way of keeping it fun?” Lexa shook her head. ”Anyone can see us here”  
”No” Clarke shook her head and grabbed Lexa’s hand and moved them away from the window, they where staying close to the wall so there was no chance of seeing them unless no one walked into the classroom. ”I couldn’t wait and I wasn't sure if I would see you after lunch”   
”Facebook?” Lexa chuckled.  
”You’re never active” Clarke rolled her eyes.  
”And you’re to afraid to ask for my number?” Lexa teased her. ”Give me your phone”   
”That’s not what I…” Clarke started but Lexa was waiting for the phone with her hand ready to grab it. ”Here” Clarke unlocked it and passed it over.   
”So what did you wanna talk about?” Lexa asked as she was typing down her number.   
”Mom has a nightshift today” Clarke smirked.   
”Oh….” That finally caught the brunettes attention.   
”So, do you want spend the night or not?” Clarke looked at her with eagerly eyes.   
”Is that even a question?” Lexa smirked at her and gently pushed Clarke against the wall.   
”Is that a yes?” Clarke whispered and bit her lip as Lexa looked at her, the brunette leaned in for a kiss and carefully bit the same part Clarke just had her teeth in. Her body shivered and she could only imagine what they would do tonight.  
”That’s a yes” Lexa smiled. ”You are done at four right?”   
”Mhmm” Clarke was still pleased by the kiss.   
”I’ll go home and then I will come and pick you up alright?”   
”Okay…” Clarke smiled at her. ”I can’t wait”   
”Me neither babe” Lexa looked at her scared as she just called her a nickname.   
”I like it” Clarke carefully caressed Lexa’s cheek and it calmed her down immediately.   
”Fuck, you make me soft” Lexa shyly smiled,   
”I like your soft side”   
”Yeah…” Lexa swallowed. ”We should go before our friends start wondering where we are”   
”I know” Clarke nodded.   
”You go first, I will wait a little…”  
”Okay, I see you later” Clarke looked back at the brunette before she walked out of the classroom. 

As she made her way to get some lunch with her friends she could feel the wide smile on her face, she was happy - she actually had butterflies. Lexa made her nervous but yet still so brave, she had never been this spontaneous.   
”What are you so smily about?” Raven looked at her strange and Clarke just smiled wider.  
”It’s just a good day I guess”   
”Did you get laid or something?” Raven questioned her.   
”Wh-what?” Clarke felt like she got caught but how would her friends know?   
”Just kidding…did your mom talk to you?”   
”Um yeah she did”   
”She called me and said there would be pizza” Raven smiled at her and Clarke finally put the pieces together.  
”You’re happy about the sleepover aren’t you?”   
”Umm…you don’t have to stay over if you don’t want too” Clarke swore in her head, that didn’t sound like her at all.   
”Since when did you become the ironically one” Raven laughed thinking it was a joke and Clarke suddenly felt bad. She loved spending time with Raven and her mom usually invited her because she didn’t want her daughter to be alone. 

It was just that…Lexa. She was supposed to finally spend a night with Lexa, she had wanted to wake up in her arms…she was curious if Lexa was a morning person or not, if she like breakfast, if she drank black coffee or with milk. She actually did not know much about her more than she was an amazing kisser. 

She had to cancel, her friends would ask to many questions if she didn’t just agree to this sleepover…

”I tried, doesn’t really suit me right?” Clarke nervously laughed but her friends bought it.   
”I would join you guys but Lincoln is coming over tonight” Octavia pouted.   
”I would join too but I didn’t get an invitation” Bellamy chuckled.   
”You could join us” Clarke shrugged. ”Movie night” She might as well do the best off the situation, there was a long time since she hanged out with her friends.   
”I could ask if Finn wants to come over as well, if that’s okay with you?” He looked at Clarke.  
”He will be happy if you tell him Raven will be there” She chuckled.  
”Don’t start this again, he doesn’t have a crush on me”   
”Keep telling yourself that” Bellamy laughed and Clarke reached for an high five as they where starting to talk about old memories of Finn’s flirting game she took the opportunity to reach for her phone. 

Clarke Griffin: Hey…change of plans. My mom invited Raven tonight and I can’t say no. Sorry.  
Lexa Woods: That sucks…enjoy your movie night.  
Clarke Griffin: What?   
Lexa Woods: I walked by and overheard that the guys are coming over. Sounds like a cute double date.  
Clarke Griffin: You know it’s not like that.   
Lexa Woods: Yeah

Clarke couldn’t help but look around in the cafeteria to see where the brunette was, she was sitting at her usual spot and was glaring at her. She gave her an apologetic smile and the brunette shrugged a little and then her sister caught her attention and she looked away. 

”I can’t wait for tonight” Raven cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you had a great weekend!
> 
> Hope you like this new chapter, please let me know what you think! :)


	11. Frustrated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting hard to keep it secret for the girls.

Clarke impatiently waited in the cramped study room for Lexa to get there, it was the day after and they had a break together at 10:15. She hadn’t talked to her since lunch yesterday and she felt bad for ditching on her the way she did.   
”What took you so long?” Clarke was relieved to see the door finally open.   
”I’m on time girl” Lexa looked at her phone to check the time.  
”I’m sorry” Clarke bursted out.  
”For?” Lexa closed the door and looked at her confused.   
”For last night, we made plans and…”  
”Don’t sweat it..” Lexa sighed and sat down in the little ugly purple couch.   
”I feel bad for it…I just didn’t know how to say no” Clarke tried to read Lexa, she seemed a bit off.   
”No I get it…yesterday got me thinking actaully. Like what are we even doing?”   
”What do you mean?” She felt her heart raise.   
”Hiding, lying to our friends, to my sister - and at the same time we are both running for president. Can’t you see in how many ways this could end badly?”   
”Of course it crossed my mind…but”  
”Maybe we should…”   
”But I like you” Clarke finished her sentence.   
”Clarke…” Lexa looked at her as she rolled her name out in a way only she could. ”I like you too but we can’t even spend time together without hiding and it’s just… hard, it shouldn’t be this hard”   
”We will figure something out” Clarke was stressed, this is not what she wanted.  
”Hey…” Lexa grabbed her hand to calm her down. ”Maybe we should just take a little break from this, it doesn’t have to be that bad. Just some space”  
”We barely have any time together and you need space?”  
”When I’m with you” Lexa smirked at her now, that damn smirk that she had started to adore. ”I can’t think straight and it’s getting frustrating to not to be able to be with you for real”   
”Lexa” Clarke sounded desperate as she reached for the girl sitting next to her, the brunette opened her arms and allowed the girl to crawl next to her.   
”Maybe we can figure something out” Lexa sighed as she played with blonde hair.   
”This sucks” Clarke sighed.   
”Yeah…” 

Lexa had been serious about some time a part, not that Clarke thought that she wasn’t it was just painful to go to their usual spots and Lexa not showing up. She kept trying though, wishing she would magically change her mind. 

Even if she hated it she understood Lexa, it was a dangerous game they where playing - it’s al fun and games until they get caught. Her friends just believed she didn’t have as much to study anymore and where glad to see her more during the school days. 

It’s been around a week and Lexa hadn’t said a single word to her, Clarke stalked her Instagram stories and she seemed to be doing alright. Hanging out with her friends, hanging out in their freaking mansion - she partied over the weekend and she couldn’t help but notice (with stalking Costias Instagram as well) that they where at the same party. 

Clarke was a bit jealous, yes. She didn’t like that side off herself but she couldn’t help it really - if she liked someone then just the thought of them being with someone else made her sick - but Lexa was a free woman. They never even dated or announced what the fuck they where, just two people having fun. 

”So are we excited for Christmas break?” Raven asked them as they where on the way to see the soccer teams last game until next semester.   
”It’s like more than a month left?” Octavia chuckled.   
”Time goes by fast, there will be like two weeks of fun but we have to plan it”   
”I don’t even want to think about next semester…” Clarke sighed.  
”We have to work on your campaign girl but I mean it could be fun” Octavia smiled at her.  
”All my grades depend on next semester and with work and the campaign and…just”   
”Relax girl” Raven interrupted her. ”You’re like the most dedicated person I know, you will handle that easy”   
”Yeah and Lexa seems to play nice now so maybe the two of you can have a peaceful campaign”   
”I hope so” Clarke looked at her friends, trying to distract herself from the thought of Lexa.   
”So winter break?” Raven tried again as they sat down, a bit further up to get a better view over the field.   
”Hey girls” Anya walked by them and winked, luckily she didn’t stay to chat.  
”She’s really stepping on my nerves” Raven wined.   
”Can’t you just talk to her?” Octavia asked.  
”Okay so I am exploding soon so I might as well tell you what happened” Raven sighed.   
”Well please” Clarke had been dying to know for a while but didn’t want to pressure her.   
”We where making out in that bar, Rockys or whatever it was called. That night after your speech Clarke when Miller popped the question…it was going great we where having a great time”   
”Please no details” Clarke warned her.   
”I’m just trying to give some backstory but okay…” Raven glared at her. ”She started asking question about you Clarke, if you where the one to plan that thing and at first I brushed it off, like no but she kept going”   
”Oh..” Clarke was intrigued to hear more.   
”I got a bit annoyed eventually”  
”Oh you have a short temper” Clarke looked at Octavia and pretended to be surprised.  
”HA-HA” Raven looked at them but she smiled a little bit. ”And I told her off, she stepped on my last nerve and I might have told her that you are better than Lexa”   
”Sounds like you are missing some details?” Clarke looked at her.   
”Maybe that you would never step to her level, that you have a heart and I maybe called her sister a bitch…hard to remember all the details” Raven said nervously.  
”That sounds like a stupid fight” Octavia shook her head while Clarke was thinking that it did explain a lot though, how Anya had talked about her.   
”I was a bit ashamed, maybe I crossed some lines but I didn’t think she would get this upset”   
”She’s protective over her sister” Clarke told her.  
”And how do you know?” Raven got confused.  
”I mean…I’m just guessing that’s what sisters are for?” She tried to save it.   
”Lincoln is a bit upset that we all can’t hang out” Octavia told them. ”He and Gustus are good friends, he even speaks well of Lexa and Anya”   
”How does he know?” Clarke wondered.  
”They used to hang out before, they slipped away I guess but now that they got the chance to talk again Lincoln realized how much he had missed them”   
”He’s not missing much, tell him that” Raven complained.   
”She’s obviously still trying to get your attention?” Octavia said.  
”True, she doesn’t bother me unless you are with me” Clarke chuckled.   
”Fuck off” Raven looked back and stared at Anya so Clarke followed her move but to stare at her sister, Lexa was there.   
”Lucky you, game’s starting…GOOO ARKADIA” Octavia yelled and Raven and Clarke started cheering with her as the boys ran out. 

As expected the boys won this game as well, they had truly been fantastic so far - there was no doubt almost. As usual after the game it was time for some celebration, as it was getting colder outside they had planned it at Finn’s house - as many other people in this school his parents had plenty of money and a magical house. Nothing compared to the Wood’s family but is was just as beautiful. 

”So I invited Gustus and the gang” Lincoln warned them as they walked into the living room. They had all went home to change in between but it seemed like most people went straight from the game.   
”What?” Raven questioned him.  
”Come we can all settle this bullshit, we go to the same school and want to celebrate this win together” Lincoln shook his head. ”Just avoid each other or something”   
”Easy…” Raven rolled her eyes as she saw Anya, Gustus, Costia, Lexa and some other people chilling in the kitchen.   
”My man” Lincoln went there to greet Gustus.   
”Sorry” Octavia looked at Raven.  
”It’s not your fault and I guess he is right, we don’t have to hang out with them”   
”Clarke, want to help me get these drinks in the fridge?” Bellamy looked at her and she swallowed, that meant she had to walk into the same room as Lexa.   
”Yeah” She grabbed a bag in each hand and he did the same, she hated the fact that she tried to walk a sexy as she could.   
”So what did you think off the game?” He small talked as normal while Clarke felt the burning green eyes following her, she flickered and locked eyes with her.   
”It was great, you did great as always” She forced her attention back to Bellamy.   
”Did you see that I almost fell” He chuckled. ”But I saved it real nice”   
”You did” Clarke tried to stay focused in the converstueastion while he was unpacking the alcohol.   
”What do you want?” He asked.   
”What’s cold?”   
”Beer” He handed her one and grabbed one for himself.   
”Thanks” She smiled at him while they cheered. ”And congrats on the win”   
”Maybe you’re my good luck charm” He winked at her and suddenly some glass broke in the background and they turned to look what happened.  
”Sorry” Lexa rushed for some paper while Gustus grabbed the few glass pieces that had spread on the floor, luckily it hadn’t shattered in thousands.   
”No worries” Finn walked in to see what happened. ”It’s AAA PARTY” He cheered them on and the music started playing louder.   
”ARKADIA” Bellamy cheered with him and while people where back to whatever they where doing Lexa and Clarke just stared at each other, the tension was real. The brunette shook her head before she left the room.   
”I’ll be right back” Clarke told Bellamy as she decided to follow her. Lexa walked into one of the guest rooms and Clarke closed the door behind her.   
”You weren’t suppose to follow me” Lexa told her.  
”I wanted too” Clarke walked closer.   
”Why?”   
”And why would you go in here if you didn’t want me too follow?” Clarke looked at her and carefully placed an hand on her arm. ”Are you okay?”   
”Don’t do that” Lexa sighed.   
”Talk to me” Clarke didn’t want to give up.  
”I’m okay” Lexa finally looked at her, she didn’t look convincing.   
”Don’t push me away” Clarke lowered her voice.  
”I’m fine Clarke…you don’t need to check on me”   
”I can’t just stop caring about you” Clarke questioned her. ”I don’t know how this can be so easy for you but I can’t just forget what happened between us” She raised her voice.   
”Easy?” Lexa scoffed. ”I’m not flirting with other people in front of you”   
”Flirting?” Clarke’s time to scoff.   
”Maybe I’m you’re good luck charm” Lexa tried to mimic how Bellamy sounded.   
”We are not flirting and he said that not me”   
”And you laughed like a little girl, just admit that you have a crush on him”   
”Are you the one to talk spending all that time with your ex?” Clarke fired back.   
”Who’s the stalker now?” Lexa raised her eyebrows.   
”You are fucking annoying you know that right?” Clarke sighed.   
”I didn’t ask you to follow me here, you can go back to your little boy toy” Lexa raised her voice now.  
”God, just shut up” Clarke was getting really frustrated and couldn’t help but raise her voice.   
”Make me” Lexa stepped closer and Clarke looked at her intense, she was so pissed right now and Lexa wanted to make out? Why did Clarke want to make out, why was Lexa’s plumped lips the only thing she could think off right now. Lexa stared at her with desired eyes and Clarke couldn’t take it anymore, she threw herself over the brunette and Lexa had to steady herself so they wouldn’t fall to the floor. They where kissing aggressively and Clarke couldn’t wait anymore, the wait was killing her, she needed more of Lexa so she stopped to take off her own shirt before she pushed Lexa onto the bed.  
”Damn” Lexa smirked but was already sitting up to get more of Clarke, she straddled the brunette while Lexa easily unzipped her bra. Lexa stared at her bare breast for a few seconds before she started sucking on her nipple, Clarke moaned.   
”I’m fucking angry but I want you” Clarke breathed so Lexa rolled them over and Clarke’s back got pressed against the sheets with Lexa all over her, the brunette didn’t even care to take off the black skirt she was wearing, she just pulled it up on her stomach before she reached for the underwear in a rush to take them off.   
”I’m fucking pissed too” Lexa mumbled as she was placing kisses all over her. ”But you’re fucking sexy” She worked her way to the heated area and as she finally got there Clarke had to cover her mouth not to scream out loud. 

Fucking finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> I hope you like the new chapter, please let me know what you think. What do you think will happen, or what do you want (wish) to happen lol? 
> 
> Take care, always!


	12. A little drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party is still going

Clarke threw Lexa’s shirt towards her while she was putting on her underwear again.   
”I can’t find my bra…” Clarke looked around and Lexa did the same.   
”There” Lexa went close to the bed and grabbed it, it had gotten a bit under the bed.   
”Someone could’ve walked in” Clarke looked towards the door.   
”Just admit it made it more intense” Lexa smiled at her.   
”That was…intense” Clarke looked at her as they both where dressed now.   
”Yeah” Lexa wrapped Clarke in her arms and kissed her. ”Worth the wait I guess”   
”So..what now?” Clarke tightened her grip around the brunette, scared it would be a while until she saw her again.   
”We are still in the same situation, obviously where both tense…” Lexa chuckled. ”But it doesn’t change anything”   
”So you still want your space?” Clarke actually got offended.   
”I’m just thinking whats best for us?”   
”So you’re completely fine with us just moving on from this?” Clarke looked at her. ”You can’t even stand Bellamy giving me a compliment”   
”I can’t stand a lot of men” Lexa wasn’t taking this as serious as her and it bothered Clarke.   
”You’re really being a dick right now, let me tell you that” Clarke took a step back, suddenly wasn’t in the mood anymore.   
”It’s not like that Clarke…do you have a solution for this? Please I am listening?” Lexa questioned her. ”Or maybe I am not as gullible as you…”   
”We can figure something out together?”   
”I like you too Clarke, I do but look at us - this is the first time we do it, in Finn freaking Collins house? Hiding from our friends and the rest off the school”   
”I talked to Raven today, maybe her and Anya can work things out…” Clarke tried.  
”Clarke” Lexa stepped closer again.   
”I know okay, I fucking know that we can’t solve this” Clarke said frustrated.  
”It has been fun…we don’t know what will happen in the future but one off us will end up hurt if we continue this”   
”I already feel hurt” Clarke took a deep breath and shook her head. ”But you’re right…we can’t keep doing this”   
”It was fun while it lasted” Lexa tried to cheer her up and she understood the brunette, she did that the first time she tried to explain this as well. Clarke just didn’t want to believe it but she knew that this would never last.   
”I feel like we’re not giving it a try” Clarke couldn’t help herself.   
”I think we did..until we realized the situation aren’t changing. We have been sneaking around for weeks”   
”Then I think it’s best we don’t talk anymore…I can’t right now at least…” Clarke sighed. ”And we can focus on the campaign without any dirty games”   
”I agree” Lexa nodded and knock on the door made the girls look at it with freaked eyes before it opened.   
”Clarke?” It was Bellamy. ”Lexa?” He was confused.   
”Clarke wanted to talk about the campaign” Lexa told him. ”Boring stuff”   
”Oh, we’re all waiting for you. We need our best player for beer pong” He smiled at her.   
”Yeah…We’re done here anyway” Clarke looked at Lexa, knowing that meant more than what Bellamy believed.   
”Good luck” Told them before they all left the guest room, Clarke tried to act normal but her heart was getting heaver with every step. She was not going to cry, she didn’t want Lexa to have that control over her. If the brunette could move on easily so would she.   
”LET*S PLAY” She yelled to her friends who cheered her.   
”She’s on my team guys” Bellamy said proudly.  
”Octavia” Raven yelled at her, she was already a bit tipsy.   
”Let’s crush them” Octavia reached for a ping pong ball. ”This one is for you big brother” She threw it and landed perfectly in one of the cups.   
”I need it more” Clarke took it before he had a chance and chugged it in no time.   
”DAMN GIRL” Raven laughed.   
”Okay” Bellamy said impressed and gave her an high-five. ”You’re turn then”   
”Look at this” She threw the ball and it hit one cup before landing in another, smooth.   
”Yeeeeah” The crowd around them cheered.

Clarke and Bellamy won, she didn’t know why she was so skilled at the game but it was a nice party trick. No one expected it from her, well her friends knew but it always fun to win over random people and see their surprised faces as she aced every ball. 

Even if they won Clarke still drank a lot of beer during the game, she was feeling more than tipsy but she wasn’t ready to stop now. She was upset about her argument with Lexa, sad that she wanted this to be over. 

”I need another drink” Clarke made her way to the kitchen, she wanted something stronger so she grabbed a bottle of vodka and poured it in a new cup, she added some soda and finished the drink on the spot.  
”Easy girl” Bellamy looked at her.   
”Yeah yeah…” Clarke made herself a new drink.   
”Are you okay?” He asked.  
”Yeah…” Clarke slurred. ”Long day”   
”Anything I can do?”   
”You knight in armor” Lexa passed them and Clarke glared at her, the brunette didn’t stay to chat she just wanted to be annoying.   
”What’s that all about?” Bellamy chuckled and looked at Lexa as she left the room.   
”I don’t know and I don’t care” Clarke said but she did care.   
”Alright” Bellamy put an arm around her shoulder. ”Let’s go see what the others are up too” They made their way out the pool area where their friends where just hanging out. 

”Has anyone seen Clarke?” Raven wondered after a while.   
”She went to the bathroom I think?” Octavia looked around.  
”It’s been a while, she was pretty drunk” Raven stood up and walked back into the house. She looked around in the crowded rooms but she was no where to be found. After some searching in the guest rooms and bathrooms she finally found her upstairs in a more hidden bathroom.  
”Hey girl” Raven sat down next the blonde girl who was sitting on the floor.  
”Hey” Clarke looked at her. ”I needed a little break”   
”You’re pretty drunk girl” Raven helped her get to her feet. ”Time to get you home”  
”Okay” Clarke agreed but her legs wasn’t cooperating with her.   
”Damn” Raven put an arm around her waist and Clarke held and arm over her friends shoulder.   
”I’m drunk” Clarke chuckled.   
”Yes you are” Raven couldn’t help but laugh herself.  
”You’re drunk” Clarke laughed some more as they walked out of the bathroom.  
”You’re heavy” Raven tried her best to help Clarke walk but it wasn’t the easiest task, it took a while and some fumbling before they got outside.   
”Don’t you it’s a nice evening, feel the fresh air” Clarke took a deep breath. ”Wow”   
”Amazing yes…wait Clarke” Raven had to steady herself as they almost fell over.   
”Need a hand?” Lexa approached them and Raven looked at her suspicious.  
”I don’t know if I trust you”   
”Come here” Lexa put Clarke’s other arm around her shoulder.   
”Fine” Raven agreed as it was suddenly much easier to walk Clarke.   
”We can take my car, I’m not drunk” Lexa suggested.   
”Okay” Raven nodded, they reached the car and even if Clarke was laughing a lot it was pretty easy to get her into the backseat. 

”She need to sober up” Raven told Lexa from the front seat. ”Her mom can’t see her like this”   
”Open that” Lexa pointed at a black box between their seats.  
”Wow you actually have cold water in your car?” Raven was surprised as she grabbed a bottle.   
”Can’t she stay at your place?” Lexa didn’t care to comment on what the Latina just said.   
”My mom will tell Abby, Clarke’s mom. I just don’t want her to get into any trouble”   
”It will take a while for her to sober up…” Lexa looked back at the blonde who was lying down over all three seats.   
”Maybe you can drop us at some fast food place or something?” Raven asked. ”You don’t have to stay with us”   
”Fuck…She can stay at my place” Lexa sighed.   
”Really?” Raven looked at her as Lexa started the car.  
”I can’t let you guys sit there for hours…”  
”What about the party?”  
”I don’t care about the party”   
”Thank you…” Raven was impressed by her kindness, she had never seen this side of Lexa before. ”I don’t know how Clarke will feel about it tomorrow but..”  
”She’ll be fine” Lexa interrupted her. ”I mean…” She took a deep breath. ”Rather my place than her getting busted right?”   
”Yeah I guess” 

Raven helped Lexa get Clarke into her bed, she explained that she didn’t want Anya to find her and that it was better if she stayed there. The blonde tried to slur some questions about what hey where doing, at some point she thought they where going to a different party.   
”Can you take it from here?” Raven looked at Clarke laying on the bed. ”She might undress…she has a habit of doing that when she’s drunk”   
”I think I can handle it” Lexa actually chuckled.   
”Well, this was really nice off you” Raven thanked her.   
”How will you get home?”   
”Uber” Raven showed her phone, it was almost here.   
”Good”  
”I don’t know why she got this drunk…I just found her in the bathroom and I..”  
”You’re a good friend Raven” Lexa looked at her. ”You did the right thing getting her out of there”   
”Yeah..okay. You can tell her to call me tomorrow?”   
”I will” Lexa nodded before she closed the door after Raven.  
”Your bed is comfy” Clarke chuckled.   
”I know” Lexa changed into a big t-shirt before crawling into the bed as well. ”Do you need anything?”  
”Are you mad at me?” Clarke whispered.   
”No” Lexa shrugged.   
”I don’t want space”   
”I’m here now” Lexa hushed her down.   
”Can you hold me?” Clarke asked and it went quiet for a while before Lexa decided to move closer, she put and arm around her and Clarke adjusted her body to Lexa’s. ”I wondered what it would feel like to fall asleep in your arms”   
”And how is it?”   
”I’m still awake silly” Clarke smiled, she was sobering up a little bit but the room still felt like it was spinning a little. She knew her headache tomorrow would be terrible and she crossed her fingers she wouldn’t say anything she would regret in the morning.   
”Did you drink this much because of me?” Lexa wondered.   
”I don’t know…maybe. I wanted to forget…” Clarke sighed loud. ”You probably think I’m pathetic”   
”No..I just didn’t want this happen” Lexa searched for Clarke’s hand and lingered their fingers together and started caressing Clarke’s hand with her thumb back and forth. ”In this moment right here it feels like the most stupid thing, it doesn’t make sense…I don’t want us to end either” Lexa whispered but with Clarke’s heavy breathing she realized the blonde had fallen asleep. So she placed a soft kiss on her shoulder and held her a little tighter before closing her eyes, it didn’t take long until she fell asleep as feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> I hope you like my new chapter and I'm actually working on a trailer for the fic hihi that you will be able to find on my youtube channel soon! 
> 
> All the best to you!


	13. Shrek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up at Lexa's place

”Am I in hell” Clarke’s voice was raspy, her throat felt like the dessert and her head, like she had expected felt like it was exploding.   
”Good morning” Lexa mumbled, they where still in the same position as they fell asleep in, their bodies lingering together.   
”Water…” Clarke wined as she put a hand on her head, maybe to make sure it was still there.   
”I’ll get you some..” Lexa sighed as she sat up. ”Damn it’s early…” She wined.   
”You’re the best…” Clarke tried but Lexa was not a morning person, with some more sighs and heavy steps she made her way out of the room. It didn’t take long until she was back though and Clarke looked at her with big eyes as she handed her a big bottle of water.   
”Fuck…” Sitting up made her feel worse but she was determinate to drink that water.   
”I’m going back to sleep..” Lexa pulled cover over her body and placed her head on the pillow.   
”This is the best water I ever had” Clarke was relieved, the water helped a lot.   
”How are you feeling?” Lexa wondered.  
”Probably as bad as I look” Clarke swore in her head, Lexa probably thought she was stinking alcohol and looked like a mess.   
”Sleep it off, it’s like 8 in the morning. We only slept for a few hours”   
”When did we get here?”   
”Around three or four, do you remember anything?”   
”Not everything…did I embarrass myself?”   
”You gave me an lap dance before bed and sang the national anthem in front of everybody” Lexa smirked.  
”No I didn’t” Clarke threw an pillow on her.   
”Oh…must of mixed you with someone else” She chuckled as she moved the pillow from her face and just smiled at girl in front of her. ”No…Raven got you out of there.”   
”And…” Clarke looked more intense at her. ”Did I…you…I mean?” She was struggling to ask the question.  
”No…Don’t worry” Lexa told her and Clarke lied down again.   
”Thank god”   
”Mmmhm…” Lexa mumbled before moving closer to put an arm around Clarke again, she was a bit surprised that the brunette wanted to be this close to her right now but she wasn't complaining. She leaned into to Lexa and listened to her breathing before falling back to sleep again to the sound off it. 

”Clarke” Lexa was speaking low as she brushed her arm a few times to wake her up.   
”Huh?” Clarke adjusted her eyes, she was definitely feeling better now - not perfect, but a lot better.   
”I’m hungry” Lexa wined.   
”O-Okay?” Clarke was newly awake and confused.  
”My sister won’t be home this weekend, she’s with a friend..I’m thinking take-out?” Lexa seemed like she had been awake for a while.   
”So…” Clarke gathered herself, she was slowly realizing she was in Lexa’s bedroom, the brunette next to her and…they where finally alone?.   
”You’ve been sleeping forever” Lexa complained.   
”Okay…so you want me to stay?” Clarke was confused.   
”I have a mansion for myself, don’t you want to stay?” Lexa smirked and Clarke realized she leaned in for a kiss so she quickly moved her head. ”What?” Lexa’s time to be confused.  
”I’m scared my breath is bad” Clarke confessed.   
”You’re probably right…” Lexa winked at her. ”Shower, toothbrush whatever you need” Lexa pointed at a door in her bedroom. ”Some…comfier clothes if you want”   
”I would like a shower” Clarke could already imagine how good the water would feel against her body.   
”Okay, I’ll order some food” Lexa grabbed her phone. ”Any preferences”   
”I trust you” Clarke carefully stood up.  
”You know…” Lexa looked at her. ”It’s a weird to see you not so…put together”   
”Okay, thanks..?” Clarke wasn’t sure how to react.  
”It’s not a bad thing, just nice to see you’re human like the rest of us”   
”And you’re the one to speak, you look perfect when you wake up” Clarke wasn’t suppose to share her thought that morning and she knew there would be a stupid smirk on Lexa’s face when she turned around, she was right.  
”It’s hard being this perfect you know” Lexa teased her.  
”Shut up and order that food instead” Clarke said as she started walking towards the bathroom again.  
”Yes ma’m” Lexa yelled behind her. 

Clarke lost track on how long she was in the cold shower, it was like all her problems disappeared and Lexa really had some fancy shampoo and body wash. She recognized the smell and couldn’t help but smile for herself like a dork in there. 

She didn’t want to take too long though, Lexa was waiting for her and they was actually about to spend some quality time together. Clarke wasn’t sure what changed Lexa’s mind but she was not going to question it, being hangover with Lexa on a Saturday - hell yeah! 

She grabbed a towel and brushed her teeth, maybe a bit more carefully than she usually did because she wanted to make sure her breath was fresh. Once she was done she walked into the bedroom again and saw that Lexa had placed some clothes on the bed. Fucking cute.

It was dark grey sweat pants and some t-shirt with a band on, she didn’t want to use the same panties as yesterday so she just pulled on the sweats and tied it a little tighter. When she was dressed she used the body mirror next to Lexa’s closet, not her style…at all. She looked like she could actually be Lexa’s friend now, her version of sweats was usually her pink shorts and a white t-shirt. 

Somehow she liked this look on her, she looked a little more tuff? Was that weird to think? A bit awkward maybe but it’s not like anyone could read her mind. 

”You’re shower is amazing” Clarke found her way to the kitchen where Lexa was standing with a few bags. ”Oh, food is already here?”   
”They where…” Lexa stopped talking as she looked up at Clarke. ”Wow” She was impressed.   
”You like it” Clarke spun around.   
”Actually I do” Lexa smiled and Clarke felt brave that morning, she walked up the brunette and grabbed her waist and kissed her. Confident her breath now tasted like mint instead of last nights mistakes.  
”I missed out this morning” Clarke smiled at her while Lexa just stared at her in awe.  
”Worth the wait…” She breathed. ”Hungry?”   
”I wasn’t taking you for a taco bell girl” Clarke looked at the food.  
”No?” Lexa grabbed the bags. ”Let’s eat in the living room”   
”I thought you where more…fancy?” Clarke wasn’t sure where she was going with this.   
”I ate at your work didn’t I” Lexa joked as she placed the food on the living room table and some plates.   
”Ouch…” Clarke sat down in the sofa before helping the brunette.   
”Do I seem like someone who cares about money?” Lexa asked.  
”I thought you did…but now I realize it was stupid”   
”Full of surprises” Lexa turned on the TV and started scrolling through Netflix. ”Fuck it smells to good” She handed the controller to Clarke and went straight for the nachos instead.   
”This will due” Clarke didn’t say what she choose, she wanted to see Lexa’s reaction instead.  
”Try this” Lexa held a nacho chips in front of her face with what seemed like some chicken, salsa and guacamole.   
”Oh” Clarke opened her mouth, she tried to do it gracefully but she felt some sauce on her cheek and Lexa’s chuckled at her.   
”That’s fucking delicious” Clarke agreed while Lexa carefully used her finger to clean Clarke’s face.   
”I know” She smiled before licking her finger and she looked into Clarke’s eyes.   
”Such a teas” Clarke shook her head but damn, it worked.   
”Are you for real?” Lexa turned her head to the TV. ”Shrek?”   
”It’s a great movie when you’re hangover”   
”I’m not” Lexa laughed. ”But…I love this movie” She admitted.   
”Yes” Clarke said proudly. 

They finished the food and watched the movie, every once in a while they both laughed at something stupid on the TV or commented on how silly it was. When they where done eating they moved back in the sofa and Lexa put an arm around Clarke. Everything felt very natural and Clarke didn’t want this day to end, like ever. 

When the movie was over she agreed that Lexa could choose the next movie, she wanted something more ”serious” and decided for some action movie. Clarke couldn’t help herself though after they watched like 30 minutes off the movie. Overtime she was hangover she also got a bit…horny. Usually she had to take care of it herself but now she a sexy girl right next to her. 

She wanted to test the vibe and place a hand on Lexa’s leg, the brunette eyes was still locked on the screen. Clarke slowly started to move her hand back and forth, not to obvious and after a while she could feel Lexa’s hand starting to play on her shoulder. Still it could just be return the movement. Her own breathing was getting heavier and she tried to cover it the best she could as she twister her hips a little. Fuck…Lexa’s neck was bare right next where her head was resting so she carefully placed a kiss there, and another…and one more.  
”Are you trying to seduce me?” Lexa finally looked at her, blue eyes where hungry and the brunette didn’t hesitate as put an hand on Clarke’s cheek and kissed her.   
”Maybe” Clarke admitted as she leaned in for more kisses.  
”Come here” Lexa said and Clarke was sure it was the sexiest thing she had ever heard, Lexa’s voice could be so…damn sexy. She got on top of the brunette while Lexa grabbed her ass, she was still just wearing her oversized t—shirt and Clarke was eager to take it off.   
”This fit looked so good on you…” Lexa teased before helping Clarke get out of her shirt before their lips collided again, more intense this time.   
”Maybe I’ll keep it” Clarke joked between their kisses, it was hard to focus when Lexa was just wearing black panties.   
”Oh…” Lexa smirked before she gently lifted Clarke and forced her to lie down on the cough, as she was on top of her now she kissed her again as she tucked on Clarke’s sweat pants. She had to interrupt the kisses to pull them off - she bit her lip once she realized Clarke wasn’t wearing any underwear. ”Fuck…”   
”Come back here” Clarke wined as she wanted to kiss Lexa some more.   
”You where already prepared huh” Lexa playfully nibbled her nipple and it made her moan.  
”Just shut up and fuck me” Clarke smiled at her and Lexa raised her eyebrows but she did what she was told and Clarke was sure she had never had an orgasm like that before and she was eager to return the favor. As Lexa reached euphoria Clarke couldn’t help but admire it - she was proud that she was able to make Lexa shiver her body the way she did and gasp like she didn’t get not air. 

They lost track of time, it didn’t end in the kitchen they where ready to have fun in the whole mansion - they continued in the kitchen, in the hallway - in Lexa’s room, in a guest room - in the shower and the back again on the sofa. As more they got to know each others bodies the better it got, none of them wanted to stop - they had all the time in the world to explore each other. 

It was getting dark when they both started putting on the few clothes they where wearing before, Lexa lied down in the sofa looking a bit exhausted and Clarke crawled on top of her.   
”I don’t think I had these many orgasms in one day” Clarke chuckled as she rested her head on Lexa’s chest.   
”You’re welcome” Lexa smiled as she hugged the girl. ”And nah, probably not” She added.  
”It’s getting dark..” Clarke was unsure what time it was.  
”Oh, did you call Raven?” Lexa asked.  
”Was I supposed too?”   
”Oh shit…yeah she asked me last night to tell you to call her today…opsie” Lexa reached for Clarke’s phone that was placed on the table next to them. ”Here”   
”Oh…” Clare unlocked the phone and had some missed calls from her mom and Raven, also some text messages from a group chat she was in. ”Can you be quiet?”   
”Yeah..” Lexa rested her head back on the pillow and dragged her attention to the TV as she was playing with Clarke’s hair. The blonde dialed Raven first.   
”DAMN” Raven was quick to answer. ”I almost thought Lexa killed” The brunette could hear the Latina and shook her head quietly.   
”I’m fine, thank you for yesterday. Been trying to sleep it off today” Clarke lied.   
”Was it awkward this morning?” Raven laughed from the other end.  
”Duh…I can’t believe you dropped me at Lexa’s place off all places”   
”You know my mom would tell…and she offered I hope she wont use this against you”   
”She was actually really kind” Clarke said. ”She is really not that bad”   
”Nah, she impressed me last night” Raven agreed. ”Fuck I could’ve talked to Bellamy…oh well shit happens”   
”Yeah…well I’m fine. Thank you again, I will probably sleep through this day”   
”Okay, call me tomorrow? Maybe we can go shopping or something?” Raven suggested.  
”Yeah maybe” Clarke said bye before hanging up.  
”Bellamy, really?” Lexa scoffed. ”He couldn’t probably not even make you orgasm once”   
”Well..he has” Clarke admitted. ”BUT a long time ago!” She added.   
”Of course” Lexa shook her head. ”Not even surprised”   
”It was one time thing…we’re just really good friends. He’s actually one off my best friends”   
”Mmhmm” Lexa wasn’t sure she believed it but Clarke had to focus on sending a text to her mom, she said she was at friends house but didn’t name any names.   
”Can we not talk about Bellamy right now?” Clarke suggested once she was done and tilted her head so that she could place a soft kiss on Lexa’s cheek. ”I want to enjoy this time with you”   
”We sure took advantage off it” Lexa smiled again.   
”I’m actually hungry again” Clarke chuckled.  
”Thank god because I’m starving” Lexa told her.   
”I’m saying food and a good movie” Clarke suggested.   
”Sounds good…so” Lexa took a breath. ”Are you staying tonight as well?”   
”I could…I mean I want too but with all that space we are having I am not so sure”   
”Shut up” Lexa warned her. ”I’ll take it back okay?”   
”Good” Clarke smiled. 

She was perfectly fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I hope you like this new chapter!! :) 
> 
> Idk about you guys but this is a story from me...it's going a bit to well doesn't it? ;P 
> 
> Haha, let me know if you liked this one, I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Take care, always ... and if you want to see the trailer: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6676rCLKl3A
> 
> (If link does not work, I have the same name on youtube Misslill15) 
> 
> <3


	14. Luna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets a warning and an old friends comes back to the school.

”Clarke…” Lexa placed a soft kiss on her shoulder to try to wake the blonde girl next to her.  
”Mhm..” Clarke liked being waked by Lexa.   
”Your phone has been calling like crazy” Lexa pulled Clarke closer to her body, still sleepy.   
”Ignore it…” Clarke mumbled but her phone started buzzing again so she reached for it, it was Raven.  
”Good morning” Raven sounded happy.   
”It’s early” Clarke sighed. ”What do you want?”   
”I woke up early so I was thinking, I will call and wake up Clarke so we can hit the mall early before all the people start storming in”  
”What are you talking about?”   
”We talked about shopping yesterday?” Raven questioned her.  
”Oh right…yeah” Clarke remembered that she agreed to go shopping today.   
”So take a shower and get ready, have some breakfast and we can have lunch later, okay?”   
”Okay okay” Clarke was to tired to argue this, it did sound nice.   
”See you at the mall!” Raven hanged up and Clarke took a deep breath and tried to wake up a little more.   
”My legs are sore” Clarke chuckled and turned around to face Lexa.  
”You are quite flexible” Lexa smiled at her. ”When do you have to leave?”   
”Soon..I’ll bet your sister will be home today?”   
”I guess” Lexa reached for her phone and unlocked it. ”She hasn’t texted me yet”   
”Have you heard anything from your mother?” Clarke carefully asked.   
”No…my dad texted me the other day though, he will call me this week hopefully” Lexa’s mood suddenly seemed to change by the subject.  
”We don’t have to talk about it” Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s waist to calm her down.   
”Nah..It’s fine. It’s just sucks that I don’t know anything” Lexa sighed. ”It’s also sucks that you have to leave…”   
”I think we can figure something out” Clarke smiled at her. ”Yesterday was probably the best day I had in a very long time”   
”Same..” Lexa smiled at her.   
”Oh shit…I guess I need to go home to get some new clothes” Clarke took a deep breath, she was still tired.   
”I could give you a ride if you want?” Lexa suggested.   
”Oh, you don’t have too” Clarke sat up and looked for her skirt she was wearing on Friday.   
”Do you really want to ride the bus in those clothes?” Lexa chuckled. ”You will get a lot of attention though…”   
”Maybe not…” Clarke put on the shirt as well and looked at herself in the mirror. ”Not really a Sunday morning outfit” She shook her head.   
”Doesn’t really save much for the imagination” Lexa winked as she put on some jeans.   
”It’s not that bad” Clarke crossed her arms and turned around.   
”I wasn’t the only one checking you out Friday, let me tell you that” Lexa finished putting on a black sweater and she looked really laid-back.   
”Stop it” Clarke smiled at her but low-key glad that Lexa had been checking her out.   
”Alright…let’s go” Lexa reached for her hand and dragged her out of the room. 

The ride wasn’t long and about 10 minutes later they where parked outside Clarke’s building almost at the same spot they had been making out a lot of times.   
”Mom’s not home” Clarke looked at Lexa. ”Want to my place?”   
”Anya actually texted…I need to go pick her up”   
”Oh..” Clarke got a bit disappointed.   
”I’ll text you later?” Lexa leaned in closer and Clarke met her halfway for a soft kiss.   
”Yeah” Clarke kissed her again before opening the car door.   
”Bye” Lexa yelled and Clarke watched as the brunette drove away - it felt like she snapped back to reality and she hated it. They where still a secret and she still wasn’t sure what the hell they where doing, could she call it dating?   
Around two hours later Clarke had showered, had some breakfast and put on some make-up. She felt like a new person as she was waiting for Raven outside off the entrance to the mall.   
”You look fire” Raven didn’t take long after her and they hugged each other quickly.  
”Same babe” Clarke smiled at her and they lingered their arms before walking in.   
”So how was yesterday, did you feel shit?” Raven laughed.  
”It was weird waking up at Lexa’s and feeling like shit but it wasn’t too bad” Clarke knew she had to mention it.   
”It actually seemed like she cared about you..scary” Raven joked.   
”She’s not that bad honestly” Clarke told her.  
”Don’t forget what she did to you in the past” Her friend reminded her.  
”She apologized for it..and she hasn’t done anything after that”   
”Oh…Clarke?” Raven suddenly stopped and looked at her.  
”What?” Clarke was confused.  
”You are crushing on Lexa?!” Raven gasped.   
”What?” Clarke was not ready for that. ”No I do not” She wasn’t sure that was very convincing.  
”Damn…Really?” Raven fucking knew her to well.   
”I don’t, I’m just saying she’s not that bad” Clarke tried.   
”I mean she’s hot, wouldn’t be that surprising. She’s more your type than Niylah”   
”Don’t remind me off her…” Clarke sighed.   
”Oh shit, you haven’t talked to her yet?”   
”She wanted to try again and I have sorta avoided her since…”   
”Harsh…Why don’t you just tell her the truth?”   
”I don’t want to hurt her and I honestly needed to think about it”   
”But now you are all heart eyes for Lexa” Raven chuckled.   
”Stop that…” Clarke hushed her down. ”Let’s talk about you and Anya instead”   
”Giiiirl…” Raven warned her.   
”Now you know how it feels” Clarke chuckled.   
”Okay fine, I’ll drop it but just be careful. You’re running against each other don’t forget that, don’t fall for her beauty in case she’s just playing you”   
”No need to worry…” Clarke rolled her eyes.   
”Anyway…I need some new jeans and I need your help. Let’s forget about the sisters for the day” Raven suggested.  
”Sounds amazing” Clarke agreed. 

The next day at school Clarke was feeling extremely happy, the weekend had been amazing. The soccer team won, she got to spend time with Lexa and actually had a great day with Raven in the mall. She bought some nice new clothing that she was wearing for the day and already got some compliments for. 

As usual at lunch she was sitting with Bellamy, Raven, Octavia and Lincoln eating some dry burger for the day. Her friends where not as excited as her since it was a Monday and they where quieter than usual.  
”You know what” Raven looked at her friends.   
”What?” Octavia wondered.  
”Since Lexa was pretty nice to Clarke this Friday…I decided that maybe I should talk to Anya, see if we can end this stupid argument”  
”Really?” Clarke wondered if she had won the lottery in life suddenly.   
”Don’t get too excited, I am not sure if she wants to talk to me but I will give it a try”   
”That’s awesome” Clarke smiled at her. ”Us being enemies wont help my campaign”   
”You seem to be doing pretty well, people trust you here”   
”I am not ready for the polls to start showing everywhere after christmas”   
”I mean it’s bad and it’s good, if she’s ahead off you, you’ll know”  
”Yeah..But people always prank with those things.”   
”Don’t worry girl, we will do whatever we can too help you” Raven smiled at her.   
”I know, glad I have you guys” Clarke smiled back at her.   
”So Raven did you make any plans for christmas break?” Bellamy looked at her.  
”I wanted too…” Raven got interrupted by sudden screams in the cafeteria. ”What the…”   
”What’s going on?” Clarke looked around and saw a girl with big curly brown hair, standing with her arms in the air shouting while…wait Lexa? Was running towards her, they jumped into each others arms while Lexa lifted her up and spun her around a few times.  
”What’s going on?” Octavia was just as confused.  
”I recognize that girl…” Raven tried to remember.   
”She looks so tanned” Clarke studied the girl, tried her best no to be jealous but she was.   
”Does she go here?” Octavia wondered.   
”YES, that’s Luna, she’s the girl Lexa used to hang out with” Raven finally remembered.   
”When?” Clarke questioned her trying to not seem to intrigued.   
”I am not sure but she went to the same science class as last year but only for a month or so, I remembered Lexa used to wait for her after class.”   
”Only for a month?”   
”I think her parents moved somewhere and she’s been studying from abroad”   
”So she still goes here?”   
”What kind off quiz is this” Raven chuckled. ”I guess so, she’s back?”   
”Now that you say it, I remember a curly haired girl hanging with Lexa” Octavia looked at Raven.   
”Right?”   
”Maybe we just got confused since she got replaced by Costia?” Octavia laughed a little.  
”Both curly hair…maybe she has a type” Bellamy shrugged. ”I didn’t pay that much attention but I am not sure I have ever seen her before”   
”I should remember her” Clarke looked back to have another look at Luna, she was good with remembering the students here. However if she was only here for a month or so the first year and haven’t been back until now, it wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t.   
”That’s Luna yes, Lexa and her has known each other forever” Lincoln finally joined the conversation.  
”Where you asleep at the first half of the conversation?” Octavia looked at him. ”You could’ve saved us some time here babe”   
”Sorry..I was just, it’s been forever since I saw Luna” Lincoln told her. ”I will go and say hi”   
”Umm…okay?” Octavia looked at him walk away, Luna greeted him with a big smile and they hugged each other. ”I keep forgetting that Lincoln didn’t grew up with us, I always learn something new about him”  
”Isn’t that a good thing?” Clarke wondered.  
”Yes, I mean it’s exciting and refreshing. Sometimes I just need a minute to process that he actually had a life before me” She laughed.   
”Yeah…”   
”Clarke, can I have have word with you?” Kane had walked by their table.   
”Umm…yes of course” Clarke looked at him and tried to read if it was serious or not.  
”Perfect” She followed him out of the crowded lunch hour to an empty little meeting room.   
”So…” He closed the door behind her. ”I am just actually seeing if you are doing alright?”   
”Yeah..why?” She was confused.  
”Well, I got some red flags from your teachers. You are a bit behind and I am wondering if you are doing too much right now. I know you have all your extra classes, your work and now student body president..”   
”I’m fine, what teacher is worried?” Clarke asked.   
”Not teacher Clarke, teachers. You are not performing as you usual do…I am not saying that you are failing, I am just asking if this is too much for you?”   
”I don’t know..I have done all my assignments.”   
”But you are not getting A’s like you usual do…” Kane looked at her. ”I know you can’t quit your job but if you are falling behind I am afraid I can’t let you run for president”   
”WHAT?” Clarke bursted out. ”No I will work harder Kane, I need this you can’t do that to me”   
”I know you want this Clarke, that is why I am giving you a heads up…but I also don’t want you to burn yourself out”   
”I…I have just been a bit distracted lately” Clarke sighed, she knew she hadn’t been studying as hard as before but she hadn’t realized it would affect her this bad. She might have rushed some homework but..it wasn’t bad?   
”Just…You are an excellent student Clarke but we also care about your health and we know it has been a rough year for you. If this is too much no one will blame you”   
”Kane I need this, I can do this.” Clarke said firm. ”I will not step down”   
”I will keep an eye on you” Kane was serious. 

Clarke needed to get back to her A game, she couldn’t let herself be careless about school - her future depended on it. She knew that Lexa had been a big part for her to be distracted…sadly she couldn’t let anyone get in her way.

Damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, happy Friday!
> 
> I hope you like this new chapter! 
> 
> Haha how come when I give you some happy Clexa you're all so quiet, I thought you would like the last chapter lol! Anyway, have an awesome weekend!! :)


	15. It was good until it wasn't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are following Lexa in this chapter, she's not having a good day.

Lexa was sitting on top of her car chilling outside the school in morning sun, it was a cold day but the sun was warming her face so she closed her eyes towards it.   
”I missed that pretty face” Luna finally arrived and jumped up next to Lexa and did the same as her, closing her eyes and enjoying the sun.   
”God” Lexa threw and arm around her friend. ”I am so happy you’re home”   
”Me too…” Luna smiled. ”Sorry for ditching you so quick yesterday, had a meeting with the principal and had to help my parents unpack.”  
”I get it..” Lexa looked at her friend. ”I can’t believe you kept this a secret from me” She chuckled.   
”I wanted to surprise you, I know you had a rough year…” Her friend sighed. ”How are you holding up? I feel like we have so much to talk about?”   
”You need to tell me everything about Portugal and all the beautiful women you posted on your stories…” Lexa looked at her with teasing eyes.   
”I was living a gay dream” Luna chuckled. ”You would’ve loved it”   
”I’ll bet” Lexa flickered with her eyes and her friend noticed of course.   
”Don’t tell me you are still with Costia?” She bursted out.   
”No no no….” Lexa shrugged. ”She want’s to get back together but I’m over it now…”  
”She never realized what she had” Luna pushed her arm gently. ”She doesn’t deserve you”   
”Nah…I thought it was better to be with her than alone but in the end I realized that I would rather be alone than with someone that just used me”   
”I never liked her…” Luna shook her head. ”She broke your heart and pretended like it was nothing”   
”I was blind” Lexa agreed. ”Glad it’s over”   
”Me too kiddo” Luna said as she took a deep breath. ”What about your mom?”   
”Still nothing…my dad wanted to talk to me this week but I haven’t heard anything yet”   
”Fuck..” Luna leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder. ”Sorry I wasn’t here for you this year”   
”I been focusing on the campaign” Lexa told her.   
”OH!” Luna smiled at her. ”Miss president Woods, that I have to honor to talk to you in person” She chuckled.   
”Don’t jinx it, I am running against Clarke Griffin” Lexa’s heart made an extra beat by just saying her name.   
”Noooooo way. When I was having some trouble with my homework Kane always told me to ask her for help” Luna laughed. ”I never did though, felt weird. I saw her face all over the schools website”   
”She’s dedicated” Lexa agreed.   
”Is she a pain in the ass?”   
”Nah…to be a geek she’s actually pretty chill. She just wants to get into collage real bad”   
”She’s pretty hot isn’t she?” Luna looked for her phone and searched for the blonde on Instagram like Lexa hadn’t already stalked it. ”Oh, she has a boyfriend?”   
”What?” Lexa looked at the feed and saw a new picture of Clarke and Bellamy at the last game celebrating the win. ”No, they’re just friends I think”   
”She’s so your type?” Luna looked at her friend. ”If I know you well enough you have already flirted with you, haven’t you?” Lexa swallowed, yes first time she saw Clarke this year she had been taken away by her beauty - and yes she had flirted.  
”We are each others opponents, I can’t flirt with her” Lexa lied.   
”So you wouldn’t mind if I…” Luna zoomed in to a bikini picture of Clarke. ”Fuck”   
”Okay okay…” Lexa locked Luna’s phone. ”Let’s talk about Portugal instead, I want to hear all about it…What did I miss in your adventures life?” Lexa couldn’t stand her friend checking Clarke out and needed them to talk about something else.

Lexa had sent a message to Clarke before her first class but the blonde hadn’t replied yet, it was strange and annoying. She hadn’t seen her today either but as she was walking too lunch with Luna she hoped she would at least catch her in the cafeteria.

They sat down next to her sister and Gustus that was in an intense conversation about some party this weekend.   
”Sis” Anya greeted her. ”And the long lost Luna, there is an underground party on Saturday we are thinking about swinging by”   
”Sounds cool” Luna sat down. ”Not sure if I have to help my parents this weekend and I was hoping Lexa would keep me company?”   
”Of course” Lexa would love to spend time with her friend.   
”I forgot that the two off you are stuck too each other” Anya rolled her eyes. ”If you finish early I think you both would love it, we haven’t hanged out in a while Lex”   
”Yeah sure” Lexa nodded before she glanced over the crowded cafeteria and spotted Clarke’s friends, they where sitting at their usual table but she wasn’t there and her friends seemed unbothered by it. What the heck? Where was Clarke? ”Shit…I forgot I had to talk to Kane” Lexa lied. ”Some campaign stuff”   
”Bummer” Luna looked at her.   
”I’ll see you later” Lexa left her plate with food, she wasn’t hungry anyway and rushed out to get to the hallways. She did her best to quickly check every classroom for blonde hair but most off them where empty. She tried some bathroom but no success there either, after around fifteen minutes she finally found her in the cramped study room with the ugly purple couch, the room they had been making out in a lot of times. 

Clarke was laying down on the couch with a laptop in her knee and some headphones that she took out the moment Lexa opened the door.  
”Are you ignoring me?” Lexa locked behind her.   
”No, I just need study” Clarke sighed.   
”So you couldn’t take three seconds to get back to my text?” Lexa crossed her arms, she didn't  
buy it.   
”Shit..I’m sorry, I’’m just really stressed right now”   
”About?”  
”School, work…the campaign” Clarke finished her sentence she had been typing on and Lexa just looked at her in silence until the blonde closed her laptop and sat up.   
”Okay..” Lexa sat down next to her. ”Why do I have a feeling that you have been avoiding me?”   
”Since Sunday?” Clarke chuckled but Lexa wasn’t having it, she could feel that something was off.   
”You know what I mean, one second you don’t want space and I when I change my mind you suddenly don’t answer my texts? Did I do something wrong?”   
”No Lexa” Clarke put a hand on Lexa’s leg and she hated the affect it had on her, she was weak by her touch. ”School is important to me and I am just a bit behind…I need to focus on what’s important right now”   
”And I’m not?” Lexa scoffed.   
”Tell me something…” Clarke locked her ocean blue eyes with green. ”What are we?”   
”What?” Lexa knew exactly what she was asking but she wasn't sure how to reply.   
”You and me, don’t play dumb” Clarke sighed.   
”We are just chilling, hanging out” Lexa shrugged.  
”Chilling?” Clarke questioned her. ”So we are not exclusive you mean?”   
”Why do we have to label it?”   
”Because I can’t waste my time on ”hanging out”, that’s why” Clarke quoted her and Lexa got a bit surprised by her words.  
”So you are wasting your time with me?” Lexa looked at her, feeling her heart raise a little as she was getting a bit frustrated.   
”I am not saying that Lexa..I just” Clarke sighed as she was struggling to get to her point. ”You would be fine with me seeing other people, that’s what you’re saying?   
”I can’t stop you if that’s what you want?” Lexa bursted out, damn she didn’t wanna say that - seeing Clarke with someone else would probably make her suffocate.   
”Really?” Clarke shook her head.   
”Why are you being like this? You wanted this as well?” Lexa questioned her as she stood up.   
”This? I want you Lexa is that so hard too believe? If you just want some silly games and secret meet-ups then yes, it’s wasting my time right now”   
”What changed?” Lexa wondered as she crossed her arms again.   
”Nothing, I just happen to care about my future. Life isn’t a game for me, I am not drowning in money like you…”   
”You think you’re better than me?” Lexa interrupted her. ”That I get everything served on a fucking silver plate?” Lexa sighed. ”I thought you where different…” Lexa was seriously getting pissed at this point and she knew she had to leave before it escalated even more. ”Don’t worry Clarke, I won’t waste your time anymore” She slammed the door behind her even if she could hear Clarke yell something after her. 

The rest off the day she was in a mood, a really bad mood. Her argument with Clarke really affected her and even her friends could tell she was pissed. Luckily they knew too leave her alone and give her some space. 

As the school day finally was over it got even worse as soon as she drove in to the parking spot outside the mansion. Her heart went numb as soon as she saw her fathers car parked outside next too Anya’s. 

With heavy steps she walked into the entrance and noticed mumbles from the kitchen, what the hell was going on? Where was mom?  
”Dad?” Lexa walked into the big kitchen and saw her father standing next to Anya that was sitting down on a bar stool. He was dressed in a black suit as usual but his hair was messier and he had some dark bags under his eyes.   
”Lexa” He looked at her, exhausted and she couldn’t help but to rush into his arms.   
”I’m sorry” He whispered into her ears as she held her tighter, it was probably the realest hug they had in years.   
”Where’s..mom” Lexa tried to look at her sister, to see if she had been crying.   
”Please sit down” Her father pointed at the chair next to Anya and she did as she was told, he took place in front of them. ”The cancer is gone” He started.   
”That’s great news?” Lexa looked at Anya, she didn’t understand.   
”Yes, she’s been so strong my love but…”  
”Just tell her the god damn truth” Anya spitted out. ”You have been lying to us for weeks, do you understand that we have been scared that you would call us any day to tell us she’s dead?!”   
”Anya” Her father warned her, she had always been firm with him.   
”Can someone explain what’s going on? Where is she?”   
”You don’t remember this because you where too young Lexa but your mother is bipolar…she suffers from deep depression”   
”No she doesn’t” Lexa interrupted her.   
”The cancer treatment took a toll on her…She actually got free from cancer when you where in Hawaii..”  
”WHAT?” Lexa bursted out, her mother had been okay all this time? Or what?   
”But…once the cancer was gone she got weak my dear and she’s been weak ever since”   
”She can’t even call her daughters to tell her she’s fine? And our good ol dad lies to us. Fucking perfect, super fucking perfect. Why do you think I can’t stand this fucking household?” Anya swore to her father.   
”I didn’t know it would last this long…” Their father seemed stressed. ”I didn’t want you girls to see her like this, she’s…she’s not herself”   
”Can we see her?” Lexa asked.  
”She doesn’t want to see us Lexa” Anya looked at her. ”She hasn’t left her bed in weeks”   
”Maybe seeing us could help?” Lexa looked at her dad.  
”I don’t want to keep you from her anymore but I have to warn you Lexa..it’s not the woman you remember but she’s in there” Her dad seemed really upset about it.   
”If I can help, I want too” Lexa shrugged. ”Anya…” She looked at her sister to get some support.   
”Fine…but you don’t remember what I do..”   
”Why hasn’t anyone told me?” Lexa looked at them.   
”To protect you” Anya looked at her. ”She got better…and mom is like your hero we didn’t want to destroy that for you”   
”You where just a little girl” Her dad added.  
”I am not anymore” Lexa sighed. ”But let me guess…you didn't want to waste your time telling me” There was more to where that was coming from but she didn’t care, she had a shit day and she needed a break, she left the kitchen in anger and dialed the number to a person she could count on. 

”Lexa” Luna happily answered.   
”Code red” Lexa sighed. ”Remember?”   
”Let’s get wasted and fool around with girls we wont remember until we forget what we feel bad about?”   
”I had rough day” Lexa admitted.   
”You have me now, drive to my place and we can get ready”   
”Already on my way” Lexa was feeling self-destructive, she was pissed and hurt at the same time…she was so glad that her friend was back, the only one she could count on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa <3 
> 
> Hey guys, I hope you like the new chapter and please let me know what you think, I am a bit curious after this one lol.
> 
> Take care, always!


	16. Crossing lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is around the corner and so is more drama.

Clarke sighed as she she looked at the time, she had been working late that evening and had to study for en essay that was due tomorrow, or today to be correct. It was after two and she could feel her eyes getting heavy, she was tired. 

The last week had been tiring, she had been up late every night an she was finally getting on her A game again - it also meant no hanging out with friends, no partying and no Lexa…Freaking Lexa didn’t seem to take their break that hard, could you call it a break? Or argument, she wasn’t sure about anything. 

As what had become an habit she opened Instagram and saw that Lexa had been posting to her story once again, she was out partying almost every night. It was a picture of her and Luna, both dressed in black and Luna’s lips pressed against Lexa’s cheeks titled ”So happy she’s home” heart emoji. Lexa looked extremely hot in the picture, a black tank top relieving enough cleavage and red lipstick with her hair messy on her shoulders. Next was a video off her and Luna dancing with some random girls, all a bit to close to Lexa if you asked Clarke - fucking hell - next post was only a few minutes ago and it was a video off Luna making out with some girl and Lexa cheering her on in the background. 

Clarke locked her phone, it was painful to watch but still she couldn’t stop - it was almost additive and to be fair Lexa had been posting more than usual, almost as if she wanted her attention. It had been a little over an weeks since their argument and the brunette had been ice-cold ever since, at their speech for the upcoming christmas dance she hadn’t even looked at her once. She had been very professional and the students had loved her - Clarke however had been distracted by the fact and hadn’t really given a speech to remember.

Honestly she missed Lexa but her sudden A’s was telling her that she did something good at least, she liked being the best student but it didn’t feel like before - now she knew what she was missing. An actual life and not only dedicate everything to the school, she knew she had to stay focused but it suddenly felt so lonely. 

”CLARKE” Raven yelled the next day at school with a goofy smile on her face.   
”Damn…it’s early why are you yelling?” She wondered.   
”Great news…” Her friend smiled at her. ”I actually talked to Anya over the weekend, we bumped into each other at the same party”   
”Oh..” Clarke got surprised.   
”Yeah, so I apologized and she did and we…um” Raven lowered her voice. ”We did it in a closet”  
”A closet?”   
”Yeah, she’s been texting me like crazy and we spent Sunday together…she really isn’t that bad if she’s not pissed”   
”Just like you then?” Clarke smirked.   
”Shut up, you should be happy..It means that the tension between us are gone, no more silly fights in the hallways or comments”   
”What if you fight again?” Clarke raised an eye brow.  
”I won’t make the same mistake again…I think I am crushing Clarke”   
”So…what party was this?” Clarke knew her friend had been going out this weekend but she kindly said no due to homework.   
”Luna’s place, you know Lexa’s friend?” Raven opened her locker casually and took off her jacket.   
”Oh, was she there?” Clarke hated herself for being curious.  
”Lexa was wild, she always seems so moody but she seemed to be having the time off her life” Raven chuckled. ”Her sister loved it, said she hasn’t seen her like this in a long time”   
”Awesome…” Clarke tried to sound positive but honestly it was hurtful to hear.   
”Must be Luna, just imagine if I was gone for a year or more…we would have been going crazy too”   
”That’s true” Clarke wished that was the case.   
”I know you been saying this all along, sorry for not listening. They aren’t that bad, the sisters” Raven admitted.   
”No”   
”You don’t say much today, somethings up?” Raven looked at her.   
”Really tired” That was true.  
”You look a bit pale…don’t burn yourself out..you should be done with school work soon? Break is coming up?”   
”Yes actually, I will be able to relax soon” Clarke gave her an sly smile.   
”Oh…and remember I was gonna get us some winter break plans?” Raven had that goofy smile again.   
”Yeaaah..?” Clarke actually couldn’t wait to have some fun with her friends again.  
”Anya suggested skiing, they have a house - big enough for a soccer team with…I don’t even have to explain you know how filthy rich they are..Their gang and our gang, getting to know each other better”   
”Wh-what?” Clarke almost choked on her own saliva. ”You want to spend christmas break with the Woods?”   
”Do you imagine how fucking cool that would be?”   
”What would be cool?” Octavia walked up to them with her gym clothes on, she probably had practice first thing.   
”Spending the break with the Woods sisters”   
”Oh, Lincoln talked about it. It would be a great way for us all to hang out and it would make him really happy” Octavia agreed and Clarke had no idea what to say, how the hell was she supposed to spend all that time with Lexa? Did she even want her there? Probably not.  
”Let’s think about it” Clarke looked at her friends. ”I just really missed you guys”   
”Yes, I feel like I never see you anymore” Octavia hugged her.   
”Homework” Clarke sighed and hugged her back.   
”Raven” Anya yelled at her further away and Clarke noticed Lexa standing next to her. ”Come on”   
”One second” Raven yelled back and looked at her friends.   
”The rest off you if you want too” Anya raised her voice again and Clarke was not used to her sudden kindness.   
”So, ready for some new friendships?” Raven lowered her voice.   
”Yeah, I have to time to kill” Octavia looked at her phone and they started walking towards them.  
”I’ll see you guys later” Clarke yelled behind them.  
”You’re not coming?” Everyone was staring at her now and she felt panic growing inside off her.   
”I need too be somewhere” Clarke swore inside her head, that’s the best she could come up with?   
”What? Where?” Raven questioned her, of course she couldn’t just let something go and Clarke made the mistake to look at Lexa who seemed just as intrigued as the rest off them.   
”Clarke?” Niylah spotted her and she never thought she would be this glad to see her ex.   
”Oh…” Raven misread the situation and Lexa seemed angry about it, was she jealous?   
”Hey..” Clarke decided to just let them believe whatever because she had no excuse not to follow them otherwise and she didn’t know how to act around the brunette anymore.   
”It’s been a while, how are you?” Niylah asked and she was relieved to see her friends leave with the sisters.   
”Yes, school…I am good, how are you?”   
”Not as busy as you” She chuckled. ”So…um”   
”Yeah..I’m sorry I never really…I”   
”It’s fine Clarke, I got the memo” Niylah shook her head. ”You just don’t have to avoid me”   
”You noticed..?” She felt a bit embarrassed.   
”Duuuuh” Niylah laughed at her. ”Let’s be friends at least, I think that honestly just got caught in the moment as well”   
”Okay, you’re right” Clarke smiled at her, she was a really easy going person to be around and she liked that about Niy.   
”Cool, I gotta go but I’ll see you around I hope” She winked at her.   
”Yeah, you will” Clarke smiled. 

Clarke couldn’t get Lexa out off her mind all day, she felt the need to talk too her because she didn’t like how things ended. Plus, she hated the fact that Lexa might be mad at her right now. As school ended she was leaning against the brunettes car waiting for her to get there. She knew that her last class had already ended and wasn’t surprised to see her shortly after she got there, unfortunately she was with Luna.   
”Hey…” Clarke got nervous.  
”You’re Clarke right” Luna looked at her. ”I’m Luna” She reached her hand out.   
”I am, nice to meet you” Clarke shook her hand while Lexa was just starring at them quiet.   
”What are you doing here?” Lexa finally asked.   
”Can I talk to you?”   
”We are going somewhere” Lexa looked at Luna.   
”We’re not in a rush, then I can swing by the library real quick and get some books that I need”   
”Fine” Lexa looked as her friend walked back into the school.  
”She seems nice” Clarke followed her with her eyes too.   
”What do you want?” Lexa crossed her arms as she leaned towards the car as well, next to the blonde.   
”I don’t like how we…ended things” Clarke was to scared to look at Lexa.   
”You’re pretty confusing you know that right?”   
”I am sorry for the way I acted and I hope you know that I don’t think I’m better than you..I said some shit I didn’t mean” Clarke took a deep breath as Lexa wasn’t saying much. ”I was under pressure and I took it out on you, I’m sorry”   
”I know you work hard Clarke” Lexa nodded, it was hard to know if she accepted her apology or not.  
”So…” Clarke looked at her, finally gathered the courage.  
”So, that’s it I guess” The brunette shrugged.  
”That’s it?” Clarke crossed her arms now. ”Do you honestly feel nothing about this?”   
”I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression Clarke”  
”You can’t seriously stand here and say that?” Clarke questioned her. ”You know it was more than some casual sex”   
”I just can’t…” Lexa sighed and looked away, scared to show herself vulnerable. ”I can’t give you what you want, I am not ready”   
”Why are you pushing me away?” She wasn’t done with the conversation.   
”You asked for a break, not me remember?”   
”I asked for some clarity”   
”You ruined it” Lexa fired back.  
”You can’t blame this on me only, I said I wanted more and you got scared don’t twist my words”   
”Scared?” Lexa glared at her. ”Tell me something, if we became a couple and all this tension was gone - when all the dangerous scares off getting caught are gone, would you still be that interested?”   
”What’s that’s suppose to mean?”   
”You date people like Niylah, I’m not like them Clarke and deep down you know that we are too different…I saw you guys today, you’re back together?”  
”No…I am not dating her and you don’t know what I want… maybe I like the fact that you are different”   
”You think getting to know me is wasting your time unless it leads somewhere?” Lexa scoffed. ”You don’t know what you want Clarke, that’s the problem.”   
”You know that’s not what I meant…” Clarke shook her head. ”I know you don’t mean what you are saying right now either”   
”You don’t know that” Lexa was firm but Clarke still didn’t believe her.   
”You’re not really believable”   
”You don’t know what you’re talking about” She raised her voice and Clarke had to look around to see if anyone was watching them, seemed to be fine.   
”I know you feel something for me…” Clarke turned around to face her and took a step closer while Lexa swallowed. ”You can party how much you want, you can post how many happy selfies you want but I know that you deep down hate that shit. You don’t want meaningless relationships or nights you don’t remember”   
”You don’t know shit”   
”You are trying to hide behind all that but you can’t hide forever Lexa, so you got hurt once? So what, you are never gonna love again?”   
”I swear to god Clarke” But the blonde took another step closer.   
”You had doubts because you where actually catching feelings and you are too afraid I don’t feel the same”   
”You have no idea what’s going on in my life right now”   
”No I don’t” Clarke shook her head. ”I want to know all off you Lexa but you won’t let me all the way in” Lexa just stared at her intense. ”Tell me I’m wrong?”   
”Leave” Lexa spitted.   
”Fine” Clarke looked at her one more time, to see if the brunette wanted to say anything but she genially just looked pissed. She turned around and wondered if she crossed any lines, maybe her jealousy got out or maybe she was just pissed that Lexa didn’t want her they way she wanted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Fun to read all your comments about last chapter, I know it was intense hehe!
> 
> Hopefully you like my new chapter, enjoy and take care! <3


	17. Christmas dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the christmas dance.

”Thank you all for listening, remember if you’re voting for me, you are voting for yourselves!!” Clarke smiled at the audience as they cheered on her, she waved them goodbye before walking off the stage. 

”Nice speech” Lexa followed her, she had delivered as well. They had all almost survived the first semester and the christmas dance was coming up. The girls was there to remind them how important next semester was and how important their voting was.  
”You did fine as well” Clarke was upset with Lexa, upset that the brunette didn’t want to give them a chance.   
”Good thing you chose a black shirt today” Lexa looked down at her breast and remembered Clarke’s mistake with the white shirt.   
”Don’t do that” Clarke looked angry at her.   
”What?” Lexa asked.   
”This” She pointed at both off them. ”Is not happening, I can’t have you..just messing with my mind”   
”It was a joke” Lexa tried to calm her.   
”You’re flirting, it’s different” Clarke rolled her eyes, Lexa knew exactly what she was doing. ”It’s not working anymore”   
”Is that a challenge?” She smirked.  
”No, absolutely not” Clarke sighed. ”This is over” She turned around and left Lexa standing there, Clarke was not in the mood for this. Who the hell did Lexa think she was? Was she just gonna pretend that everything was normal?   
”Wait” Lexa rushed after her.   
”What?” Clarke kept walking.   
”I know you’re having doubts about the christmas trip…”   
”A week with you, yey” Clarke said sarcastic.  
”Anya really wants to give you guys a chance, she’s sold for Raven and she wont go unless…you”   
”I know” Clarke cut her off, knowing her friends wouldn’t go if she didn’t.   
”Don’t let me be the reason you don’t”   
”And ironically it is” Clarke said honest.   
”All your friends will be there, you don’t have to talk to me”   
”Not weird at all”   
”Okay, we can be nice opponents or whatever. It will be fun..and Anya will be a pain in the ass until this is settled.” Lexa admitted, and so would Raven.   
”I’ll think about it” Clarke sighed. ”God…”   
”Is this how it’s gonna be now?” Lexa scoffed.   
”Fuck off Lexa…” Clarke yelled as she kept walking but a smirk appeared on her face, this was affecting the brunette after all. 

However, she was not gonna let Lexa occupy her mind every second off her day anymore. If the brunette didn’t want more she simply had to accept that and try to move on, or at least try to have some fun. Her studies was done, she had no more homework and work was about to be closed over christmas. 

She had all the time in the world (not really) to have the time off her life, like Lexa had for the past weeks or days partying like never before. The most annoying part was that she was meeting so many students when she was out, gaining their votes - they loved party Lexa, or looked up too her. Right now Clarke was the boring geek that people really couldn’t relate too, because high school was all about looking good, having sex, drugs/drinking and having fun. Lexa was promising them that and for them to be performing their best in school, of course they loved that promise. 

Clarke was not surprised though, of course that sounded like the ideal plan - who wouldn’t want best off both worlds, however she tried that and failed - or at least if you want a scholar ship. Most people here didn’t have that problem, their parents could pay for collage so who wouldn’t enjoy their teenage years if that was possible. Well, she was not gonna waste her time nagging about this - she had christmas to look forward too and also the christmas dance. 

The next day was Friday and it was unusual but the students where staying a bit longer after school had ended, the dance was tonight and people had to make meet-up plans and schedule the evening.   
”Are you sure you don’t want to go with us?” Raven asked Clarke as they where hanging outside the lockers.  
”You and Anya enjoy your date, I will be fine” Clarke smiled at her.   
”You won’t be fifth wheeling” Octavia winked at her.   
”I think I will” Clarke chuckled before something caught her attention. ”Or…” She took a deep breath and looked at her friends. ”I’ll see you tonight”  
”Clarke” Niylah smiled at her as she was taking on her jacket. ”What do I owe the pleasure?”   
”Umm…I know it’s last minute” Clarke smiled at her. ”But do you have a date for tonight?”  
”Oh..” Niylah looked at her surprised. ”Actually I don’t”  
”So would you like to go with me? Not to make big deal out off it, just as friends?”   
”As friends?” Niylah seemed to think about it. ”What the heck but you have to pick me up”   
”I can do that” Clarke nodded.   
”Wear something red”   
”Alright” Clarke smiled. ”See you tonight”   
”Indeed” 

Clarke had dinner with her mom that evening and her mother helped her get ready, Abby drowned her with compliments and almost got teary at one point. After some pictures where taken she headed over to Niylahs place, her parents greeted her with big smiles - she really liked her parents, kind and down too earth. Their daughter looked beautiful as ever and Clarke was glad she decided to ask her, she just wanted to have fun for a night and if it was something Niylah was good at, it was having fun and make all problems disappear for a while. She was wearing black pants with a ready body under, matching perfectly with Clarke’s dress. Niylahs parents offered them some pre snacks and they had a good time talking about some old memories before heading to the dance. 

”Wow you girls look amazing!” Octavia greeted them later that night, they had decided too all meet up around seven outside the entrance. It was covered in christmas lights and had really been decorated, Clarke couldn’t wait to see the inside.   
”You look fantastic” Niylah smiled at Octavia.   
”She’s stunning” Lincoln put and arm around her and kissed her forehead.   
”Raven’s not here?” Clarke asked.  
”She texted me right after you, she should be here any second”   
”This feels like a life time ago” Niylah laughed. ”All of us hanging out”   
”It’s been a while” Clarke agreed. ”Thank you for going with me today”   
”My pleasure”   
”Isn’t it the most hot people I have EVER seen” Raven opened a car door that parked next to the entrance and jumped out. She was wearing a red dress as well and looked extremely beautiful.   
”Impressive” Clarke smiled at her and studied how Anya got out after her, she was wearing a black suit - not really surprising but it suited her well.   
”To be fair…” Raven chuckled. ”This one got me a bit tipsy” She pointed at Anya who was still holding the door and Clarke’s heart beat stopped for a second as some tanned legs was now visible, she knew those legs - Lexa was with them. She got out in a skintight dress, black and she was wearing the red lipstick Clarke loved. Fuck, she looked incredible and she had to close her mouth, she was almost drooling.   
”Wow, all these beautiful girls” Lincoln chuckled as he was the only guy there right now.   
”Luna” Lexa yelled for her friend who got out after her.   
”We’re all here?” Octavia counted them all like a mother, or teacher trying to keep track off all her children.   
”Let’s do this” Raven smiled and Anya reached for her hand and lead the Latina into the building.   
”You can do better” Lexa whispered next to Clarke as she passed her and she wanted to argue with her but she held back, the brunette was not gonna destroy her evening. 

They had really went all in with the decoration, it felt like she was entering a winter wonderland - it was also fun seeing everyone so dressed up, smiling and dancing.   
”Wow” Niylah was impressed as well.   
”Do you want a drink?” Clarke looked at her.   
”Yeah, come on” Niylah smiled at her and grabbed her hand, at first it felt wrong but then she remembered that they where just there to have a good time.

Later that night Clarke found herself a bit tipsy after Bellamy and Finn had sneakily gotten some vodka inside, she was slow dancing with Niylah and had actually had an amazing evening so far. Some student where singing some slow covers on the stage, pretty talented and Clarke was casually moving back and forth with her head resting on her ex’s shoulder.   
”This was nice…hanging with you tonight” Niylah mumbled.   
”Yeah..” Clarke agreed as she noticed Lexa starring at her, she was dancing with some random girl but green eyes didn’t look away from her. Clarke tried to signalize with her eyes for the brunette to stop whatever she was doing but it made Lexa move her arms tighter around the girl she was holding, was she trying to make her jealous? Two could play that game, Clarke followed exactly what Lexa just did and moved Niylahs body closer to hers with a smirk on her face.   
”Oh..” Her ex chuckled and Clarke looked at her.   
”Sorry, just..it’s a great song. Got lost in the music” She tried to save the situation, she was not normally flirting and teasing with people, that was Lexa - it was like it was a part of her personality. She was naturally gifted with it.   
”Yeah..” Niylah looked at her and Clarke realized that she was going in for a kiss, she looked over at Lexa again who seemed to be occupied with the girl now, dancing closer than necessary.   
”I don’t want to get back together” Clarke wanted to be honest.   
”I know, I don’t expect that…but you wanted a fun night right? Let’s have some fun?” She suggested.   
”You know what…” Clarke caught green eyes starring at her, she wanted to make her jealous. ”You are right” Clarke kissed her but her eyes didn’t leave the eye contact with Lexa, green turn too anger and she felt pleased with herself.   
”Not that bad” Niylah chuckled.   
”I need to get some air” Clarke didn’t like what she just did. ”I’ll be right back”   
”Did I do something?”   
”No” Clarke smiled at her. ”I’ll see you soon”   
”Okay” Niylah seemed a bit confused but didn’t argue any further. 

Clarke let go off the girl and rushed to get some air, maybe it was her conscience that was creeping up on her. At least she had been honest with her ex and she knew Niylah was cool with keeping it casual, at least they where on the same page.

She sat down on a bench a bit further away from the entrance as some students where hanging outside or some smokers chilling in the winter cold.   
”Did that make you feel better?” Lexa had followed her.   
”You have to stop…starring at me” Clarke looked at her frustrated, yes she wanted to blame the brunette for this.   
”I can’t” Lexa shrugged.   
”You have too…and those comments, how do you expect me to move on if you don’t let me”   
”I’m not standing in your way”   
”Stop playing dumb” Clarke glared at her and Lexa decided to sit down next to her. ”And who’s that girl you where with?”  
”Someone from the cheerleader team” Lexa told her.   
”Cute” Clarke said sarcastic.   
”I thought you weren’t back with your ex?”   
”We aren’t back together” Clarke stated again. ”And for the record…you don’t decide who's good enough for me or not”   
”You know I’m right”   
”I thought she was the perfect match for me?” Clarke fired back, tired of trying to understand Lexa.   
”Can we forget about that stupid fight, like you said. We said shit we didn’t mean”   
”Whatever…” Clarke shook her head.  
”You kissed her?” Lexa asked her. ”I would call that more than just friends”   
”Do you hear yourself right now? Fucking hypocrite”   
”So why did you do it?” Lexa didn’t give up, she was upset about the kiss as Clarke wanted her to be even if she was stepping on her nerves right now.   
”YOU” Clarke raised her voice. ”You fucking made me do it”   
”What?”   
”You judged me the second you saw me with Niylah, you made sure that I would notice you tonight - you kept looking for my attention and eventually I fell for it - so I tried to get you jealous, or make you stop…just…fucking looking at me” She was struggling with getting to her point and frustrated about the situation.  
”Okay, fine - I’m fucking sorry, it sucked seeing you with someone else” Lexa tried.   
”Well this all sucks doesn’t it, thank you for ruining my evening” Clarke stood up. ”Fucking thank you Lexa Woods”   
”Fuck…” Lexa stood up as well. ”Clarke, I’m sorry”   
”What do you want from me?” Clarke was frustrated.  
”Why can’t we just go back to how things where?”  
”You really don’t get it do you?”   
”Then tell me..?”   
”I don’t want to go back to how things where. I don’t want too be anyone’s secret. You couldn’t even admit that we where dating?”   
”I didn’t know what to call it” Lexa admitted.   
”That’s why I wanted to talk about it…but” Clarke sighed. ”Never mind”   
”Okay…” Lexa looked at her and they stared at each other in silence for a while. ”You look really beautiful tonight Clarke” Lexa’s eyes followed her body up and down. ”Niylah was lucky to have you in her arms…”   
”Thank you…” Clarke wasn’t used too seeing Lexa looking so sad. ”I thought about the christmas trip, I will join you guys” She hadn’t but if it meant she would be close to Lexa she wanted to go, her heart was deciding for her.   
”That’s great” Lexa told her.   
”You look beautiful as well” Clarke told her before she turned her heel and walked away, Lexa always looked beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh our girls are struggling...what do you think will happen on christmas break? 
> 
> Hehe, thank you for reading. Make's me happy lol!


	18. Christmas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's christmas tiiiime!

Lexa handed in her last assignment for this semester and thanked her teacher Indra as she wished her a merry christmas and happy new year. All though she smiled and wished her the same Lexa wasn’t that excited about the holidays. 

She hadn’t gone visited her mom yet and she was not gonna join them this year, it would be the first christmas without her. Her dad had promised to take her too her next year, hopefully in the beginning when it wasn’t too much with school.

Anya was pissed at both their parents, dad for lying and at mom for not snapping out her depression. Lexa had no idea how she was like and it was scaring her a little, a little delay didn’t mind her. 

”Lex” Luna waited for her by her car.   
”Luna” She smiled and opened the car with her keys.  
”We made it darling” They closed the car doors and Lexa started the engine.   
”I can’t wait to sleep in and forget about school for a while” Lexa stopped the car as some students was passing by. of course it was Clarke and Raven. The blonde stared at her as she passed but looked away as Raven said something. The blonde was driving her crazy at the moment, maybe it was her fault for backing away as soon as she tried to have the talk. 

She just didn’t understand why…they where having such a good time? Did Lexa want more, yes maybe in the future but why did they have to go so fast? If she was really honest with herself she knew that ever since she fell for Costia and made her whole world about her - to have your heart broken sucked, so yes maybe she was a bit afraid. Clarke Griffin scared her but she couldn’t get enough off her.

”Fuck…She’s hot isn’t she?” Luna followed her and Lexa wanted to tell he everything but it was her and Clarke’s secret, she wasn’t sure if it was her place to tell.   
”Yeah” Lexa just casually nodded, it wasn’t a lie.   
”Do you think it’s gonna be weird having them join the trip?”   
”It’s definitely something we haven’t done before…”   
”I’m curious about their jocks friends” Luna shook her head. ”I hope they aren’t like the stereotype”   
”I wouldn’t know” Lexa told her. ”I don’t think they’re that bad”   
”That’s the Bellamy guy right?” Luna asked and Lexa looked where she was pointing and saw him next to Clarke with that goofy smile on his face, how could Clarke be so blind not to see that he was into her?   
”Yes” Lexa got a bit annoyed by the sight. ”They are friends with Lincoln so I guess they are okay”   
”He’s crushing on Griffin” Luna chuckled. ”We should play some dirty games and play with them a little” She smirked and Lexa thought that was a terrible idea. She had seen Clarke kissing Niylah and that was terrible, seeing her with a boy would probably be worse.  
”Don’t start shit, we’re just getting to know them”   
”Okay, okay…I thought we could have at least a little bit fun”   
”Maybe” Lexa smiled at her. ”Just go easy on them”   
”When did you become so soft?” Luna chuckled. ”Anyway, I am starving can we get some food?”   
”Of course” Lexa speeded up the car. 

Christmas came quicker than she imagined, her dad woke her and Anya for breakfast and it was pretty awkward. They usually didn’t spend much time together, just the three off them.  
”I have to run by the office but I will be back for lunch” Their dad said.  
”You have to work on christmas?” Lexa looked at him, seriously.  
”I’m sorry sweetie”   
”I got you” Anya put and arm around her.   
”Thank you, see you soon girls and umm…merry christmas”   
”Our family is depressing” Lexa looked at her sister.  
”Good thing we are amazing” Anya smiled at her. ”Come on, let’s eat some candy and watch Home Alone”   
”Alright” They snuggled up next to each other under a blanket, it was something about christmas and being close to your family. Anya maybe didn’t seem like the perfect sister but too Lexa she was, they understood each other like no one else did. Sure they could fight and argue about a lot but in the end of the day they would kill for each other. When you grow up in a house where the parents aren’t always present you rely a lot on your siblings. 

Lexa started scrolling through her phone too see everyone happy Instagram photos filled with big family and happy smiles, stories with people laughing and spending time together. The only one sticking out was a post from Clarke Griffin. ”We miss you today, love you dad” and an older picture of her with Jake and Abby, her story showed her legs and probably her moms chilling in front of a fire. She felt bad for Clarke and she wanted to text her but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.   
”Take a selfie with me” Lexa said to her sister and Anya leaned in.  
”I can’t believe you got so blessed with being photogenic” Anya wined.  
”I’m just prettier” Lexa teased. ”Okay one more”   
”That will do” Anya agreed and went back to watching the movie. Lexa added the title ”Christmas with one is better than none” and hopefully Clarke would get the memo. It was shit she must admit but she just wanted to send out the message that she wasn’t alone. It didn’t take long until she saw ”Clarke Griffin replied to your story”. She wanted to wait a little before she opened it, to not seem too desperate but one minute felt like forever so she gave up. 

Clarke Griffin: Merry christmas Lexa, take care of each other!  
Lexa Woods: Merry christmas. I know you miss your dad extra today.  
Clarke Griffin: Yeah, unfortunately I don’t have a ping pong table at home. 

Lexa chuckled a little at the text, remembered that day when Clarke followed her home. Lexa had seen her upset all day and she just wanted to see her smile again, she had no idea her dad had passed. She was definitely strong.

Lexa Woods: You got this! :) Otherwise, you know where to find one  
Clarke Griffin: Thank you..See you soon.  
Lexa Woods: See you. 

”What are you so smily about?” Anya teased her.  
”Nothing” Lexa smiled wider.   
”Who is she..?” Anya asked.   
”No one, come on” Lexa shook her head.   
”Let me see…” Anya snapped the phone from her and even as she tried to take it back it was too late.  
”Anya”   
”Oh…Clarke Griffin? Lexa…”   
”You can’t decide who I can see or not” Lexa sighed.  
”I know..I just, I don’t know anymore. According to Raven she’s the best person in the world”   
”So when she say it you believe it?” Lexa chuckled.   
”You know I’m just looking after you”   
”I know” Lexa nodded. ”I’m careful”   
”You always give so much…and then…”   
”I don’t need a reminded thank you” Lexa cut her off. ”Anyways, I think I fucked it up so you can relax”   
”What happened?”   
”I was careful…and she wanted more”   
”And what about you?” Anya wondered.  
”All I know is I can’t go a day without thinking about her, she drives me crazy but in a good way…she makes me do stuff I can’t explain, I don’t think straight around her”   
”I’m pretty sure you don’t think straight around anyone” Anya joked.   
”Naah, you’re right about that” Lexa winked. ”But yeah, she’s special”   
”Now I feel bad for being such a bitch about it…”   
”You are always a bitch Anya” Lexa teased.  
”Yeah…well is it too late?”   
”I don’t know, we are going back and forth about the same thing…I just…I am scared that if I give it an honest chance and she’s…I don’t know, looses interest. It will fucking hurt”   
”You have to ask yourself if she’s worth it then?” Anya suggested. ”Can’t let Costia haunt you forever”   
”I just don’t know how I feel”  
”I think you do sis”   
”Maybe”  
”Why don’t you give her a christmas gift?”   
”How will that help?”   
”Say you’re sorry, something romantic…I don’t know, this is usually your expertise”   
”I feel like I shut down that part off me”   
”Find her, use her”   
”We will see…”   
”Yeah, I mean whoever fucking hurts you again will get stabbed so…”  
”Oh is that right” Lexa laughed.  
”Yes you little shit head…how about we start making lunch and even if he doesn’t deserve it we can surprise dad when he comes home?”   
”Sounds like a good idea” Lexa agreed. 

The sister had a good time in the kitchen, they put on some cringe christmas music and did their best cooking the food. It had been a long time since they hanged out like this and Lexa realized how much she had missed her sister. She figured Anya had missed her too because she was on her best behavior and even when dad got home she kept smiling, it was unusual for her. 

Their dad got extremely happy and even changed from his suit into a silly christmas pajamas Lexa and Anya got for him a few years ago. Even if so much had changed this year, that her mom was missing it was still a pleasant day. Lexa of course had her mom in mind the whole day but she tried her best to do the best off the situation. 

Christmas was over quickly and as it was sad the holiday was going so fast Lexa was excited as she was packing her suitcase. Every year her and her friends made a trip to their magical house up in the woods for some skiing. It was a week filled with drinking, bath tubbing, skiing, amazing food in a freaking winter wonderland. 

Even if Anya was dragging some new people into their tradition she was excited because it meant that she would see Clarke - and maybe they where fun she had an open mind.   
”LEXA” Anya yelled from her room.   
”YEAH” She yelled back.  
”Are you done?” Her sister entered her room with a big bag on her shoulder, she was dressed in sweats and looked ready for a road trip.   
”Yeah, who’s going in my car? Or what’s the plan?”   
”Me…you of course, Gustus and Luna” Anya told her. ”We need to go and pick them up”   
”Alright, are we waiting for the other cars?” Lexa put her bag on her shoulder and took a last look into the room to make sure she didn’t forget anything.   
”We talked about having lunch like mid trip, that’s when the roads get tricky so I think you will have to lead the way”   
”Alright” Lexa nodded. ”I’m not driving all the way though”   
”You love driving” Anya shrugged and winked at her.   
”Oh…just FYI” Lexa dropped her bag in the trunk. ”No one knows about me and Clarke…so please don’t say anything, not too Luna or Raven especially”   
”I figured” Anya put her bag next to hers. ”I hope you girls don’t kill each other this trip”   
”Can’t make any promises” Lexa chuckled.   
”Oh well, l wish you luck little sis”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I wanted my story to match christmas irl but I was ahead of the schedule and didn't wanna make you wait forever lol. 
> 
> Sorry for celebrating christmas early lol! 
> 
> Thanks for all your comments! <3


	19. Road trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends are heading for some holiday fun!

”I slept like a freaking baby” Raven chuckled as they parked to finally get some lunch.   
”We know” Clarke chuckled.   
”I can’t believe you can sleep through the loud music I was playing” Finn laughed at her.  
”Or the bumpy roads” Bellamy shook his head. ”Someone wants to drive after lunch?”   
”I could do it” Clarke told him. ”I miss my car” She pouted as she had to sell it a few months ago.  
”Yeah, otherwise I could” Finn said. ”I don’t mind”   
”Well you can fight that, I am comfy not driving…anyways where is the couple?”   
”Octavia texted that they will be here soon” Clarke told her friend.  
”HEY GUYS” Anya opened the restaurant door. ”We have a table”   
”Cool” Raven started walking towards her and they greeted each other with a cute kiss, Clarke wondered if they might be the perfect match after all. Both sarcastic queens…she hadn’t seen Lexa in a while, they talked a little over christmas but that was it.   
”Hey guys” Bellamy greeted them, he always wanted to be liked by everyone and Clarke noticed he put on a little extra show.   
”Yeah thanks for inviting us” Finn smiled at them. ”This will be awesome”   
”Hey” Clarke looked at Lexa, she looked a bit tired and had some black jeans and an oversized black jeans jacket.  
”Hey” Lexa gave her a careful smile. ”How’s it going?”   
”Well…Finn has been playing loud bad music for the past hours, Bellamy think he is a character from fast and furious and Raven has been snoring in my ear this whole time” Clarke said cheerful as she was being sarcastic.   
”Oh…” Lexa chuckled.  
”It was great for me” Raven smiled and Anya laughed at her.   
”Someone overslept so I had to speed up” Bellamy looked at Clarke.   
”Oh god, I said I was sorry”   
”If you’re late you don’t get the aux” Finn chuckled.   
”So great” Clarke looked back at Lexa. ”How about you guys?”   
”Hello people!” Lincoln and Octavia entered the restaurant. ”Sorry we’re behind, this one has to pee every 10 minute”   
”It was not that bad…” Octavia shook her head. ”But I’m starving”   
”I’m driving, so my rules” Lexa smiled at Clarke. ”And…the people in my car aren’t used too wake up this early so everyone is too tired to be annoying”   
”I’m jealous” Clarke smiled at her.   
”Everyone is here?” Gustus wondered as he seemed ready to order some food.   
”Yes” Anya told him.   
”Do you want to share these?” Luna asked Lexa.   
”Fuck yeah” Lexa looked at her suggestion, Clarke was happy she had Luna - they seemed good to each other. 

It was a bit chaotic but in the end all off them was able to place their order, they where a few people so it took around thirty minutes to get the food. In the mean time they actually just sat there and talked to get to know each other a little better. It was weird that two so separate groups could have a lot in common and enjoy each others company.   
”So…” Luna looked at Clarke and she panicked for a slight second. ”How are the two off you gonna handle losing if you’re friends?” She looked at her and Lexa and they stared at each other, they had avoided talking about this.   
”Lexa is a great opponent, if she wins - she earned it” Clarke shrugged.   
”IF she wins” Bellamy chuckled and Clarke wanted to tell him to shut up but that wouldn’t be so nice.   
”Yeah” Lexa agreed and ignored his comment.   
”That’s very mature off you guys” Luna nodded impressed. ”So anyway whats your story Clarke? I’m curious”  
”Why are you curious?” Clarke asked her.   
”We’re all here and I like to get to know the people I hang out with, is it really that weird?”   
”I guess not…I don’t really have a story. I just want to get into collage and for that I need a scholarship”   
”Oh, your parents can’t get you one?” Luna asked casually, it wasn’t her fault she had no idea and they did go to a private school filled with rich kids.   
”Luna…” Lexa looked at her.   
”It’s alright” Clarke calmed her. ”No, after my dad passed we struggled a little because his savings are frozen in his company. It’s a long story but no, my mom can’t afford it”   
”Shit, I didn’t know Griffin. I’m sorry” Luna looked a bit sad over being so clumsy with her words.   
”How about we talk about something else?” Raven suggested.   
”Well you’re doing great Clarke” Anya gave her a compliment and it was really surprising, everyone turned to look at her. ”What? I can be nice sometimes” She shrugged.  
”Thank you” Clarke looked at her. ”I’ll be right back” She stood up and made her way to the bathroom. She needed to splash some water to her face, she wasn’t usually this open about her past but now they knew. 

She took a few breaths and gathered herself, just talking about her dad made her so damn sad and she didn’t want to be upset right now. Clarke didn’t want to be away for too long because otherwise her friends would notice and she didn’t want to be a cry baby right now. She opened the door and almost hit Bellamy in the face.  
”Shit I’m sorry” Clarke bursted out.   
”It’s alright” Bellamy chuckled. ”I just wanted to go check on you, are you okay?”  
”Yeah I just needed to go to the bathroom” Clarke lied.   
”Come on” Bellamy looked at her. ”You don’t always have to be so strong Clarke”   
”If I’m not, I will break Bell so please don’t push it - I don’t have time to break right now”  
”Okay” Bellamy pulled her into a hug. ”Just know that I’m here for you, always”   
”Thanks” Clarke hugged him back.   
”Hey” Lexa yelled at them. ”It’s been some changes with the cars, you’re going with me Clarke”   
”What?” Clarke took maybe a step to far away from Bellamy - just to make a statement.   
”Anya wanted to go with Raven and Luna and Gustus wanted to hang out with Lincoln so…”   
”No one wants to ride with us” Clarke finished her sentence.   
”Finn are you okay with driving?” Clarke looked at him.  
”Yeah princess, of course” That freaking nickname.   
”Let’s go” Lexa opened the door for her.  
”What about the bill?”   
”It’s taken care off” Lexa shrugged.   
”Oh, who do I owe money?” She followed the brunette to her car, honestly a bit excited to spend some alone time with Lexa, she wasn’t sure if they would argue or keep it casual though.   
”Don’t sweat it”   
”I am not a charity work, I can pay for myself” Clarke sighed as she closed the door after her and put on her seatbelt.  
”I know…” The brunette looked at her. ”You get to buy me snacks, deal?”   
”That’s a lot of snacks” Clarke chuckled.   
”I’m a hungry girl” Lexa smiled.   
”Are you cool with driving?” Clarke asked as the brunette had been driving for hours already.  
”I actually like driving” Lexa shrugged.   
”Alright…” The conversation died out and for the first time it was an awkward silence between them, both girls unsure what to say. The last time they talked they ended up arguing so Clarke wasn’t really sure where they where now, friends?   
”I’m glad you’re here” Lexa suddenly broke the silence. ”That you umm, decided to come with us”   
”I am too” Clarke nodded. ”We could just…leave our past in the past and move forward”   
”Oh..” Lexa seemed to think about it as she tried to look focused on the road. ”Sure”   
”I mean I don’t want to fight about this anymore, do you?”   
”No..” Lexa agreed.  
”I’m sorry I went a bit crazy…” Clarke sighed. ”I can’t really think straight around you..” Lexa remembered that was the words she used to explain it too her sister. ”And I got frustrated but it wasn’t really fair to you. I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want”   
”I’m sorry too” Lexa looked at her. ”I…”   
”We don’t have to talk about” Clarke interrupted her, she didn’t wanna hear how the brunette didn’t feel the same way, she could spare herself that talk.   
”No but - ”  
”It’s okay Lexa, how about we stop there and get some snacks instead?” Clarke spotted a gas station.   
”Fine” Lexa took a turn.   
”I mean I still want to be friends if you want too?” Clarke still wanted Lexa in her life of course.   
”Friends, yeah” Lexa didn’t seem to excited about it as she parked the car. 

They got their snacks - Lexa wasn't lying when she said she liked snacks, it felt like bought half the shop and she wondered how she kept her body so toned. Maybe she had a good digestion…As they where snacking on some candy Lexa explained that the road where rough soon and she didn’t lie about that either. 

Lexa was driving really slow and as it was getting dark she had to focus to see where she was driving, Clarke looked at her pretty impressed the brunette was a calm driver - confident.   
”It’s not far now” Lexa mumbled.   
”You’re doing great” Clarke said.  
”Yeah…” Lexa chuckled. ”I’ve done this a few times”  
”So is this some tradition you have? Going here?”  
”Yeah…well for a few years at least. Anya and I used to go here with our parents every christmas but as things got busier at work for dad we always celebrated at home, so he didn’t have to take so much time off”   
”That sucks”  
”Me and Anya created our new tradition instead and I like it”   
”That’s awesome” Clarke said.   
”You see” Lexa posted towards a huge house further away on the road, you could barely see it but since it was so big it was even visible in the dark.   
”Wow…” Clarke gasped it was really huge and the only house in miles.   
”And over there” Lexa pointed at a mountain. ”We go skiing, dad arranged some lifts and people taking care off it…it might be some tourists or locals there”  
”Your dad freaking owns a mountain?” Clarke gasped again.   
”He does” Lexa seemed smiley as she looked around and explained everything.   
”It’s…just wow” Clarke was speechless.   
”Wait until you see the inside” Lexa parked close to the entrance and was quick to get out of the car. ”I think the others are a bit behind, let me show you around” Lexa walked around and Clarke got a bit surprised as the brunette reached for her hand, at first she hesitated but as she lingered their fingers together she felt at piece.   
”I’m excited” Clarke actually was and Lexa unlocked the door, it was three different locks and the door seemed heavy to open. 

As they walked inside Lexa turned on some lights and Clarke was amazed, the ceiling was huge and there was two stairs, one on the left and one to the right - or you could keep walking forward to what seemed to be a living room.   
”Upstairs are the bedrooms” Lexa explained. ”Also a big terrace with a jacuzzi”   
”Let’s go here” Clarke dragged her forward and Lexa followed, still not letting go off her. She had been right it was a big living room with huge comfy couches and a fire place, a big flatscreen and an old wooden table.   
”Who designed this place, it’s beautiful” Clarke looked around.   
”My mom” Lexa told her.   
”She’s good” Clarke smiled at her, realizing it might be a sensitive subject.  
”She is” Lexa smiled back. ”Come on” The brunette showed her the rest of the building and it was nice to just be there in the quiet house with Lexa for a while, she knew the chaos was getting closer every second.   
”I don’t know how everyone will sleep actually” Lexa said as they got upstairs. ”We have a bunch off guest rooms but some need to share”   
”There is some couples” Clarke said. ”I don’t care where I sleep”   
”True…here is my room at least” Lexa opened the last door to the right, it was a wooden room - it felt like it was designed to feel like a ski resort but in a more home vibe kind off style.   
”Cool” Clarke looked around, she could tell they had spent a lot of years here - the stuff in there seemed to be random toys from when she was young or some old clothes she had forgotten here.   
”This is cool” Lexa smirked at her and opened some slide doors on the wall in front of the bed and a freaking TV appeared.   
”No way” Clarke chuckled as she shook her head.   
”Not all room are as cool as this” Lexa smiled as she took off her jeans jacket and suddenly she was showing a lot of skin. Clarke did her best not to stare to much.   
”Do you hear that?” Clarke turned around as there was noise coming from the downstairs.   
”They are here” Lexa nodded.   
”Well, thanks for the tour” Clarke looked at her, it felt like they both wanted to say something but waited for the other to go first.   
”We should go downstairs” Lexa bit her lip.   
”We should” Clarke agreed but none off them moved - well they moved but not towards the door, they where closer now and you could probably feel the tension in there.   
”I - ” Lexa started.   
”HERE THEY ARE” Anya entered the room with Raven behind her.   
”What a freaking road right?” Raven laughed at Clarke.   
”It was intense” Clarke looked at Lexa who seemed annoyed that they gotten interrupted.  
”Come on, let’s get our bags” Lexa looked at her sister.  
”Mine too” Clarke looked at Raven. 

They left the room but Clarke couldn’t shake the feeling off Lexa, what was she about to say? What would’ve happen if they hadn’t entered the room?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooola! 
> 
> I hope you like this new chapter, what do you think will happen during this trip? 
> 
> Take care, always!! <3


	20. Winter wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends go shopping..or not

The friends had went to bed early the night before, everyone was tired for driving all day and wanted to have energy for the next day. Lincoln and Octavia shared a room, Finn and Bellamy got one, Raven slept in Anya’s room and Gustus and Lexa had their own rooms - witch meant that Luna and Clarke had to share a room. 

It hadn’t been too bad, it was two pretty big separate beds in each corner and none off them had felt the need to talk before sleep so it hadn’t been a big deal. As Clarke woke up she grabbed her phone and checked her notifications, it wasn’t much but she spent some time scrolling through social media - it was early and she figured everyone was still sleeping. 

She looked over at Luna, she was lying like a starfish over the bed - still heavily sleeping, she wasn’t a snoring one so that was a plus. However, she wasn’t shy since she only slept in her panties and her blanket had been pushed to the side so she was basically laying there almost naked. Not that it was anything wrong with that, Clarke didn’t like to sleep with clothes either but she had decided to bring some pajamas for the trip. 

A knock on the door caught her attention, glad she wasn’t the only one awake anymore as she was getting bit bored.   
”Come in” She tried to keep it down not to wake Luna.   
”Hey” Lexa walked in but seemed to be extremely disturbed by the sight of Luna. ”For fuck sake Luna” She threw a pillow on her and the her curly brunette friend slowly started to wake.   
”What” She wined.   
”Come on, I can see you’re ass from here” Lexa wined as she threw the blanket over her friend.   
”It’s a nice ass” Luna chuckled as she wrapped the blanked around her and blinked a few times to get used to the lights. ”Sorry” She looked over at Clarke.   
”You do you” Clarke chuckled.   
”You are not alone in here” Lexa shook her head and down on Luna’s bed but she was smiling now.   
”I was tired…I was to lazy to look for something to sleep in”   
”Did you sleep okay next to her?” Lexa chuckled and looked at Clarke.  
”I slept like a baby honestly”   
”See, she’s not complaining” Luna smiled.   
”I’m just saying…” Lexa looked at her. ”Anyways, we are about to make some breakfast”   
”I neeeeeeeed coffee” Luna stood up and dropped the blanket and Clarke looked at her surprised - it was hard to look away when her breast was right there.  
”RUN” Lexa yelled at Clarke as she laughed and Clarke jumped out off the bed.   
”YES RUN GIRLS” Luna laughed after them as they kept rushing down stairs until they reached the kitchen.   
”What’s so damn funny?” Anya looked at them as she was preparing some coffee.   
”Luna…” Lexa shook her head. ”Luna being Luna”   
”Gosh, you loved that” Luna walked into the kitchen, with clothes on now and proudly smirked at her.   
”What did you do?” Anya laughed.  
”Lexa walked into, woke me in a rude way, throwing pillows and blankets” Luna explained sarcastic. ”Wined over the fact that I didn’t sleep with clothes on - so I walk up to get some clothes and that’s wrong too…”   
”I was just thinking about the fact that you are sharing a room with Clarke” Lexa shook her head.   
”She couldn’t look away, I think she didn’t mind” Luna smirked at her and Clarke suddenly felt her cheeks turn red, fuck.  
”No, what?” She swallowed. ”I didn’t..”   
”Want some coffee Clarke?” Anya saved her.   
”Yes please”   
”So what’s the plan for the day?” Raven asked as Bellamy and Finn entered the room.  
”Smells good in here” Finn smiled.  
”We where thinking about skiing Wednesday and Thursday, I mean it’s up to you guys but it’s usually enough with two days…my feet can’t handle more” Anya said.   
”Would be nice to see the little village here, didn’t see much when we passed yesterday” Bellamy suggested.   
”They have some cute stores here” Luna agreed.   
”Could buy some pajamas” Clarke joked and it made the curly girl laugh.   
”She got jokes folks, she got jokes” Luna chuckled.   
”So, let’s do that” Lexa bursted out and interrupted their laughter.   
”Chill” Anya chuckled. ”We will”   
”Do any off you guys play pool?” Gustus looked at Finn and Bellamy and they both nodded. ”Good, beer and pool while the girls go shopping. I promise, you won’t miss anything”   
”Sounds good” Finn agreed.   
”Lincoln?” Bellamy looked at him.  
”Yes please” Lincoln smiled.

They finished their breakfast and it was stressful and a lot of running back and forth but eventually they where are placed in a car ready to head down to the little town. It actually took around 30 minutes so it was a good thing they woke up early.

Clarke realized she was glad she decided to go, she was literally in a magic winter wonderland and the little town that only had a few colorful houses, a grocery shop, a coffee shop, two different pubs and some stores that she was ready to explore. It was all decorated to match each other and she could imagine how beautiful it would be to celebrate actual christmas eve here. 

”So…” Raven sneaked up next to Clarke as she was looking through some clothes.   
”So…?” Clarke asked her.   
”Did you and Luna..?”   
”What? No?” Clarke hushed her down.   
”You flirted this morning” Raven teased her.   
”I didn’t…it was a joke”   
”Okay okay, I mean she’s pretty” Raven looked at her. ”Was it great tits?”   
”Oh Raven…” Clarke looked at Luna as well. ”Well, I understand why she’s so confident”   
”I knew it” The Latina chuckled.  
”What are we whispering about?” Octavia joined them.  
”I’m trying to pair Clarke with Luna and apparently she has nice breasts”   
”I don’t want to be paired with anyone…” Clarke rolled her eyes.   
”Lexa seemed a bit jealous this morning, or was it just me? She was acting weird?”   
”Yeah…I forgot about that - she totally cut you guys off”   
”Or she was excited about going here” Clarke suggested and looked over at Lexa who looked done with it already.   
”Damn, two sexy girls fighting over you Clarke…and they are friends? Don’t they have any girl code?”   
”That’s not happening…none off it” Clarke sighed.   
”Okay but can we talk about how freaking sick it is that they have their own mountain?” Octavia changed the subject.  
”And the beds…you can feel it’s an expensive bed” Raven agreed. ”The freaking house looks…”  
”Extremely sick” Clarke nodded glad they where talking about something else.   
”Babe?” Anya yelled.  
”Babe?” Raven lowered her voice. ”That’s me?” She looked at her friends.   
”Raven?” Anya yelled again as she didn’t get an response.   
”Shit…” Raven looked up. ”Yes?”   
”Are you guys done?”   
”Yeah” Raven nodded.   
”I hate to say it guys…” Clarke looked at the girls. ”But I rather go have a beer and play pool with the guys” She chuckled.  
”Don’t you want to see the rest off the stores?” Lexa asked.   
”I think I got the drill, I’d rather relax” Clarke said.  
”But we should go the one just down the street, they have some cool stuff actually” Lexa tried.   
”I want to see that” Octavia loved shopping.   
”Yeah” Raven agreed.   
”Alright” Anya opened the door so everyone could walk out.   
”Fine…” Clarke gave up.   
”I’ll go with you” Luna looked at the blonde. ”Unless you suck at pool?”   
”I’d beat your ass” Clarke smiled.   
”Challenge accepted” Luna smirked, curious if Clarke was good or not.   
”It’s just one more store?” Lexa looked at them.   
”Gosh” Luna chuckled. ”Someone woke up on the wrong side today, come to the pub when you’re done”   
”Yeah we will meet you there” Octavia smiled.   
”Alright” Lexa agreed but Clarke couldn’t help but notice that the brunette was in fact acting very different, she wasn’t her usual self. 

It wasn’t far to the pub, everything was basically just crossing streets back and forth and it seemed like almost everyone in the little community was at the pub. It was cramped but there was a pool table available.   
”So…” Clarke handed Luna beer as she had been getting the game ready. ”Time to tell me your story”   
”Okay” Luna smiled and took a sip of her beer. ”What do you wanna know?”   
”Where have you been for the past year?” Clarke was first and was glad that one ball hit a hole.   
”Okay, I’m impressed” Luna looked surprised. ”I lived in Portugal, my parents travel a lot for work and I wanted to come with them”  
”Wow, Portugal…that’s cool!” Clarke missed.   
”It was..had a lot off fun but I missed home and Lexa” Luna was confident and hit her ball perfectly into the hole.   
”You guys are pretty close”   
”Known her since we where kids, she’s basically family”   
”Are you a professional pool player or something?” Clarke just looked as Luna hit ball after ball.   
”Naaah…just played a lot” Luna smiled.   
”Are you crushing her?” Gustus laughed as the boys where playing next to them.   
”Might as well give up now” Clarke shook her head.   
”Oh, I jinxed it” Gustus laughed as Luna missed finally.   
”Thank you” Clarke smiled as she looked over the pool table, she was blocked almost everywhere except for one ball. She lowered her body and aimed her pool stick and tried to steady her fingers - she probably focused to hard because she missed the white ball completely and wanted to sink through the floor.   
”FUCK” She wined.   
”Alright” Luna chuckled. ”Beat my ass my ass”   
”That doesn’t even make any sense” Clarke sighed.   
”You know what I mean” Luna winked.   
”I’m not usually this bad…”   
”Let me show you” Luna smirked and Clarke went a little stiff as the curly haired girl walked around the table and got close to her.  
”Umm, okay” Clarke got nervous.   
”So aim down” Luna followed her body to lean forward and placed a hand on her waist while she slowly used her hand to move Clarke’s with the pool stick. ”Here” She mumbled. ”Do you feel steady?”   
”No” Clarke was thinking about something else. ”I mean I think so”   
”See if you put your fingers like this, it’s easier to aim and keep it steady” Luna explained.   
”Like this?” Clarke moved her fingers and felt how easier it was to move the stick.   
”Yeah, and you see the ball, you want it in that corner hole so aim a little more to the left, not the middle off the ball” Luna was talking close to her ear and her breath tickled her ear and as her breast was pressing against Clarke’s back she couldn’t help but flash back to this morning…was Luna flirting with her?   
”Okay” Clarke breathed.   
”Try it” Luna followed her move nicely and it actually hit the hole and a slow clapping made the girls look up. 

”Impressive” Lexa glared at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Le Friday chapter is here! Enjoy and have a nice weekend guys!! :)


	21. Drinks and food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends have a nice dinner together and some drinks...and games.

”What’s up with you today?” Luna asked Lexa as they got back to the house and people ran off for different activities.  
”What do you mean?” Lexa shrugged.   
”You’re being a bitch today” Luna shook her head.   
”I guess I’m just tired” Lexa lied as the burning picture of Luna flirting with Clarke was imprinted in her mind. 

She needed to clear her head, she had been acting out of emotions today and if she didn’t chill people would start asking questions. Lexa closed the door to her room and threw herself on the bed, her go too was to put on Modern Family. It was simple and entertaining enough. 

Lexa tried to focus on the show but she couldn’t help but wonder what Clarke was doing right now, was she chilling with Luna in their room? Getting to know each other better? Luna was attractive and flirty just like her, Lexa couldn’t remember a time when her friend got rejected. 

She had herself to blame, she knew that but she couldn’t help it - she didn’t want Clarke to be with anyone else, she wanted Clarke but she had no idea how to tell her. She had tried too but Clarke had kept interrupting her or - their friends ruining the moment. 

Lexa was also scared to actually tell Clarke how she feel, what if the blonde had changed her mind now? The last thing she needed was her feelings to get hurt but she knew she had hurt Clarke’s so could she really be this selfish? 

”Lexa” Anya knocked on the door.   
”Yeah?” Lexa yelled back her sister opened it.   
”Why are you hiding in here? We are about to make some dinner…and people are already sipping on drinks”   
”Oh” Lexa looked at time on her phone and realized she been watching Netflix for almost two hours.  
”And…” Anya closed the door and sat down on her bed. ”You are not really discreet with your jealousy”   
”I know” Lexa wined as she hid her face in her hands.   
”Why don’t you talk to her? Or Luna, she has no idea you can’t really blame her”   
”I’m not, it’s really just my fault”   
”Time to get some balls and tell her how you feel” Anya said.   
”I just don’t know how too..” Lexa sighed.   
”With words” Anya winked. ”You can’t keep acting like this”   
”I just…I thought I made the right decision considering she’s my opponent and shit might get weird, I mean people can’t know we’re dating…and Kane would freak out…I just”   
”It’s a shitty situation” Anya helped her as she was struggling.   
”But then I see how Bellamy tries to win her over and now Luna flirting in front off me it’s just driving me crazy”   
”You could keep it a secret until the voting is over…they can’t really hold it against you after that”   
”She really want’s this Anya, she needs that scholarship…What if I win and…”   
”You can’t think like that and I am pretty sure she doesn’t want you to think like that either.”   
”I don’t wanna hurt her more than I already did”   
”Freaking talk to her Lexa” Anya stood up.   
”I’ll try” Lexa shrugged.   
”Come on” Her sister helped her up from the bed. ”Let’s get you some wine”   
”I need a glass” Lexa nodded.

In the kitchen it was pretty chaotic, Lincoln and Fin tried their best to grill the meat over heated discussions on how to make it. Octavia and Raven was cutting vegetables over loud laughters, probably a bit tipsy. Gustus was trying to set the table but kept interrupting and making people move to get what he needed. Clarke, Bellamy and Luna was arguing about the music and kept changing the song. 

Lexa and Anya just stared at each other and smiled, knowing it would be like this for a while.   
”What can we do?” Anya raised her voice.   
”Check the fries” Lincoln yelled.   
”LEXA” Luna smiled at her. ”In a better mood?”   
”Yeah” Lexa smiled as she poured herself a glass off red wine.   
”It smells amazing in here” Anya told them.   
”What have you been up too?” Clarke asked as she grabbed the bottle off wine and filled her glass.   
”Watched some Netflix” Lexa told her. ”Was a bit tired”   
”Feeling any better?”   
”After this I will” Lexa raised her glass and took her first sip.   
”Cheers” Clarke raised her glass and smiled, she had a great smile. 

The friends sat down and had their first dinner in the house, it was really nice and it felt like everyone was starting to get more comfortable with each other, could be the alcohol but something had switched. They where laughing and telling stories, Lexa noticed that Raven loved being loud - she cracked jokes and bursted out in loud laughter but everyone loved it. It was a bit of fresh air and she could understand why Clarke spent so much time with her. 

The only thing she wasn’t a big fan off was that Luna and Clarke was in intense conversations with each other, Clarke laughed and Luna looked at her with eyes she recognized - she was into the blonde. 

”Are you gonna stop that or what?” Anya whispered to her.  
”Now I wonder if the days with Costia really was hard, feels like a piece of cake compared to this”   
”No, I think we’re all happy she’s out off the picture” Anya chuckled.   
”Yeah…”  
”Just look at your phone, your DM’s has been going crazy since you became single still you only have eyes for her” Anya looked at Clarke. ”I was wrong about Clarke I admit that…she’s pretty awesome”   
”She is…” Lexa agreed. ”It’s like she doesn’t even see me anymore, I don’t know how to explain it”   
”She’s looking when you’re not looking…I see it, she thinks you’re done with her of course she doesn’t wanna make it obvious”   
”Should we move to the living room?” Gustus suggested.   
”Yeah, I’ll get some beers. Who wants one?” Bellamy asked and almost everyone reached their hand.   
”I’ll help you” Finn laughed. 

The party moved and the friends got a little more separated it was hard to keep track on everyone’s conversations.   
”I feel like we haven’t gotten the chance to talk much” Raven sat down next to Lexa.  
”No, I guess not” Lexa moved a little bit in the couch so the Latina could fit better.   
”Thank you for letting us come this year” Raven looked around still amazed by the house.   
”It’s nice to have you here and I am glad my sister found you” Lexa told her, Anya had really calmed down after they got together again. Feeling more like her sister.   
”She’s something” Raven smiled and looked at Anya.   
”Yeah” Lexa glared at Clarke, she was talking with Octavia now.   
”You like her, don’t you?” Raven caught her.   
”Can you keep a secret?” Lexa asked.   
”I known for a while I think…Clarke thinks she’s discreet but I know that girl and I know when she’s crushing”   
”Is that so” Lexa got interested.   
”So why is Luna all over her?” Raven wondered.  
”She doesn’t know…we kept it very low-key” Lexa told her.   
”So what happened?” Raven took a sip from her beer.   
”I don’t know…bad timing and some misunderstandings I guess…and maybe I pushed her away a little”   
”No shit” Raven smirked at her.   
”Fuck, I’m human we make mistakes”   
”Mistakes can be fixed” Raven looked at her.   
”Guys” Luna raised her voice and everyone turned to look at her.   
”What’s up?” Finn asked.   
”How about we spice this up a little…” Luna smirked and Lexa knew where this was going. ”What better way than some old fashioned truth or dare to get to know each other”   
”Sounds interesting” Bellamy agreed.  
”So we will start with you” Luna smiled at him.   
”Oh shit okay, I’ll start easy with truth then”   
”So did you ever talk shit about us?” Luna asked and meant their friend group.   
”I wouldn’t say shit…but I might had some prejudice thoughts about you” Bellamy answered honest.   
”Fair enough” Luna chuckled. ”Your turn”   
”Okay…any rules on who we ask?” He looked at her.   
”Nah whoever gets the question get to chose the next victim…simple”   
”Okay…Raven truth or dare?” Bellamy smiled at her.   
”Truth” She nodded.   
”Have you ever checked out Anya’s beloved sister before the two off you became a thing?”   
”Ohh..” Raven looked at him with panic in her eyes and awkwardly looked at Lexa. ”I mean look at her…she’s basically art” She laughed. ”She’s gorgeous but I never thought more off it”   
”Buuuuuh” Lexa chuckled.   
”Back off” Anya winked.   
”Okay…Lexa truth or dare?” Raven smiled at her.   
”Fuck okay, truth I guess” Lexa followed the trend off not choosing dare.   
”How many girls have you slept with in school?”   
”School only?” Luna chuckled.  
”God…” Lexa felt pointed out. ”I…I honestly lost track”   
”Damn…You need to tell us your secret” Finn laughed.   
”But I was in a relationship for a while so…even if she thought it meant she could sleep with other people I didn’t” Lexa shaded her ex.   
”Ouch” Raven shook her head. ”Alright, your turn”   
”Gustus, truth or dare my dude?” Lexa smiled at him.   
”Truth” He answered.   
”Who do you like best out off our new friends?” Lexa asked.   
”Such a stupid game” He shook his head. ”You’re all great but Bellamy is cooler than I expected so”   
”Cheers mate” Bellamy raised his beer.   
”Luna, truth or dare?” Gustus looked at the curly haired girl.  
”Hmm….” Luna seemed to think about.   
”You wanted to spice it up” Bellamy laughed.   
”Maybe I did say that…”   
”Come on, go for a dare” Gustus smiled.   
”Okay, I choose dare” Luna said proudly.   
”Fuck…” Lexa mumbled for herself.  
”Just not to weird Gus” Luna chuckled.   
”Okay let me think” He looked around in the room and Lexa’s heart stopped beating when he looked at Clarke.   
”We don’t have all night” Anya yelled at him.   
”Okay, I dare you to kiss Griffin” He smirked.   
”Oh…” Luna looked at the blonde.  
”This is…” Clarke looked around. ”Are we really?”   
”It’s just a kiss” Luna stood up and walked over to Clarke and Lexa couldn’t take it, she was not gonna sit here and watch this. 

”WAIT” She bursted out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Hope you like this new chapter! Sorry to see that some off you feel like Lexa gets mistreated, never my intention and as I mentioned earlier I grab a lot off inspiration from the actual show. 
> 
> Clarke has a bit more love interest and friends than Lexa in the 100 so it's easier to write them in, I always try to add some extra for Lexa. In the show it's Lexa who betrays Clarke in mount weather and I think that's stuck too but just in an alternative way. 
> 
> Lexa probably is my favorite character in the show so there is no shade here! 
> 
> Take care, always! :)


	22. Truth time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa interrupts the game

”Just wait…” Lexa sighed as she looked at Clarke. ”Can we talk?”   
”Yeah…” Clarke looked at her.  
”In private” Lexa added.  
”Okay” Clarke followed the brunette, she was heading towards her room.   
”Sorry I just…” Lexa closed the door behind her and Clarke looked at her curious. ”I can’t see you kissing my best friend Clarke, that’s messed up”   
”So that’s what you wanted to talk about?” Clarke wondered.   
”No, yes - I mean… I can’t stand seeing you with anyone else but me” Lexa said frustrated. ”I freaking like you Clarke Griffin and I -” She stopped talking as Clarke smiled at her. ”What?”   
”What are you saying…?” Clarke looked at the brunette curious - she was glad that Lexa did interrupt that kiss that was about to happen between her and Luna.   
”I’m saying that I want you Clarke and I’m not scared anymore” Lexa stepped closer. ”I don’t care if we have to hide in the back off my car or in a bathroom stall, I don’t care if we can’t date like normal people. I care about you, that’s all that matters and - ” Clarke interrupted the brunettes talking with colliding their lips in a desperate kiss, fucking finally. This was the only thing she wanted with this trip, what she had wished for and she couldn’t help but hug the girl tight. she rested her face in Lexa’s neck and the brunette stroked her back.   
”So you forgive me?” Lexa smiled.   
”I was only mad because I knew you felt the same for me you little shit” Clarke chuckled. ”What took you so long?”   
”I tried to tell you in the car but you kept talking over me”   
”You should’ve just shut me up” Clarke shook her head as she grabbed Lexa face in her hands and looked at her. ”I’m sorry you had to see Luna flirting with me…I’m sorry I didn’t stop it I just…I wanted your attention I guess”   
”I think I have to tell her” Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s.   
”Maybe…” Clarke agreed. ”I missed you”   
”I missed you too” Lexa smiled as she leaned in for soft kiss. ”And I missed this”   
”So what now?” Clarke wondered. ”Do we tell them?” She meant their friends.   
”Anya and Raven knows…” Lexa admitted. ”Luna should know”   
”I hate too lie to them”   
”The more people who knows…the bigger risk off us being exposed. Once the campaigns are over we don’t have to lie anymore”   
”You thought about this?” Clarke smiled.   
”And I mean if they ask we can be honest but…we can try to keep it a little low-key” Lexa suggested.  
”Okay” Clarke didn’t want to let go off Lexa.   
”I should’ve done this earlier” Lexa sighed as she stroked some hair behind Clarke’s ear.   
”Lexa!” Luna knocked on the door.   
”Yeah come in” Lexa answered as the girls stepped away from each other.  
”What’s going on?” Luna looked at the confused. ”Did I do something?”  
”I need to tell you something” Lexa looked at her. ”I um…I have feelings for Clarke and I might have lied to you about it”  
”Wait you what?” Luna looked at her with scared eyes. ”Fucking hell Lexa…”   
”The only people who knew about it was us” Lexa explained. ”I’m sorry I lied”   
”Why are you apologizing? I am sorry I flirted with your girl…damn I feel so embarrassed” Luna seemed upset by the fact.   
”How where you supposed to know” Lexa shrugged.   
”Wait have you been together this whole time?” Luna looked at Clarke even more confused.   
”No…” Lexa shook her head. ”We never really been together and we had a little argument before this trip and…yeah”   
”We just made up” Clarke added.   
”Damn…Did you just use me to get Lexa jealous?” Luna looked at Clarke.   
”At first no…” Clarke wanted to be honest. ”I liked you and I didn’t realize that you where flirting with me at first…and when I did I might have played with it a little. I’m sorry”   
”At least you are honest” Luna chuckled. ”Fuck girls you both are pretty weird you know that right?”   
”Yeah…” Clarke chuckled and looked at Lexa.   
”Just, please don’t tell anyone.” Lexa looked at Luna.   
”Fine…but next time you have a secret relationship please tell me before I start…” Luna grimaced.  
”Okay okay okay” Lexa agreed. ”I will…so are they still playing the game?”   
”You made it pretty awkward” Luna laughed. ”We stopped after you two left”   
”Oh..” Lexa was still proud off herself, no regrets.   
”Can you just give us a moment?” Clarke looked at Luna.   
”Of course..” Luna nodded. ”See you downstairs” She left the room and Clarke looked over at the brunette. She slowly turned to her hand reached for her hand, lingering their fingers together.   
”Do you really want this?” She whispered.   
”I do” Lexa nodded. ”Actually I got you something…” The brunette turned around and grabbed her bag and started digging around.  
”You what?” Clarke was surprised.   
”It’s nothing big…” Lexa shyly smiled as she handed her a small wrapped little box.   
”Lexa” Clarke smiled and looked at it, it was wrapped in red and silver and wondered if she had ever seen something this adorable.   
”Open it” Lexa smiled and Clarke did, in the little box it was a silver key ring.   
”Maybe it’s stupid…but”   
”It’s two ping pong racks” Clarke held it up and noticed that there was a small ping pong ball hanging and she moved it slightly, she could pass the ball back and forth.   
”I was thinking that…like you said you don’t have a ping pong table and if you ever need a distraction it might help…just…” Lexa was nervous.   
”This is the most thoughtful gift I ever gotten” Clarke loved it, it wasn’t only a cute reminder off the first time they spent together but also…Lexa helping her on the day her dad passed, she would never look at a ping pong table the same.   
”You like it?” Lexa looked at her curious.  
”I freaking love it” Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. ”When did you get this?”   
”In that store you never went to yesterday…I told you they had some cool stuff” Lexa smiled.   
”Thank you” Clarke pouted. ”Now I feel bad for not getting you anything”   
”Oh don’t…” Lexa smiled as she bit her lip. ”And I mean there is some ways you could thank me”   
”Oh” Clarke smirked and looked intense at Lexa. ”Can we…?”   
”Use your words, baby” Lexa’s tone was authoritative, and Clarke felt a chill run down her spine.  
”Come here” Clarke dragged Lexa to her bed and the brunette got on top off her.   
”What do you want” Lexa smirked on top off her.   
”You, I want you” Clarke breathed out as she looked into green eyes and Lexa leaned down to join their lips once again and the blonde eagerly kissed her back. Clarke placed one hand on Lexa’s back to push her closer and threaded her fingers through brown hair with the other hand.   
”Say it again” Lexa mumbled.   
”I want you” Clarke repeated herself as Lexa nipped at her bottom lip and Clarke couldn't help but suppress a moan both from pleasure and pain and Lexa’s lounge swept across her lip to soothe the sharp sensation.   
”Please babe” Clarke’s voice was heady and was could feel herself getting more desperate for the brunette.   
”Be patient” Lexa whispered into her neck, sucking harshly on her skin, it would definitely leave a bruise for the morning.   
”I thought I was gonna thank you” Clarke breathed out.  
”You are” Lexa’s voice was deeper. ”Take you shirt off” And so Clarke did before reaching for Lexa again but the brunette pushed her down to the bed and moved down on Clarke’s body, sucking at the supple skin before taking a nipple in her mouth. The blonde whimpered and arched into Lexa’s touch. The brunette continued to move down her body, leaving open-mouthed kisses on Clarke’s stomach and finally, as she reached her heat, Lexa looked up at Clarke who was now a mess, eyes shut tight and mouth gaping open as she waited for Lexa to touch her where she needed it the most.   
”Tell me what you want” Lexa and her god damn smirk.  
”Please” Clarke managed to gasp out, trying to arch into Lexa’s tough again.  
”I’m sorry, you have to do better than that” Lexa kept teasing.  
”Fuck…Lex” Clarke practically begged. ”I need you to fuck me please, please”   
”Wasn’t that hard was it?” Lexa whispered into her ear as she nibbled on it.  
”No more teasing” Clarke gasped out and Lexa let out a chuckle to her words but she listened to her words. 

Clarke came quick, the desperate need she had for Lexa was insane - the brunette could’ve just looked at her clit and probably it would’ve made her come.   
”Fuck” She gathered herself, no one could make her feel the way Lexa did.   
”I barely even started” Lexa teased her as she placed some soft kisses on her chest.   
”Come here” Clarke wrapped her arms around the brunette and collided their lips.   
”Did I mention that I missed you” Lexa smiled into their kiss before resting her head on Clarke’s chest, listening to her heart beat slowing down.   
”I missed you more” Clarke started playing with her brown hair, enjoying the moment off being close to Lexa again.   
”They will probably wonder where we are soon” Lexa sighed.   
”Yeah…” Clarke sighed as well.   
”I want some alone time with you” Lexa looked up to face her. ”Wanna take you on a date”   
”Here?” Clarke chuckled.   
”No…” Lexa smiled. ”When we get back home”   
”I don’t wanna wait that long” Clarke pouted.   
”I’m just saying…” Lexa whispered. ”I wanna take you on date”   
”I can’t wait…” Clarke smiled and suddenly she could feel butterflies in her stomach. ”Can I sleep here tonight?”  
”Of course” Lexa smiled. ”You think I’ll let you out off my sight again?”   
”I hope not” Clarke smiled wider.   
”Okay” Lexa forced herself to sit up but admired the sight of Clarke’s naked body for a few seconds before snapping back to what she was doing. ”Here” She handed Clarke her clothes.   
”You can have them back later” Clarke chuckled as she started dressing herself.   
”Mmmm” Lexa smiled.   
”Ready?” Clarke asked as she was quick to get her clothes back on.   
”Yeah, can I just ask you something?” Lexa looked at her.   
”Sure” Clarke nodded.   
”Where you ever…did you like Luna flirting with you?”   
”I was flattered but…I was glad you stopped that kiss from happening”   
”Me too”   
”I thought that if you would actually let me kiss your best friend then I would know for sure you where done with us”   
”No…you know. I never felt like this about anyone, not even Costia. I really like you Clarke and I just, I’m serious this time”   
”I really like you too” Clarke smiled.   
”Okay…come on” Lexa opened the door for her and they walked downstairs again, unsure on how long they had been gone. 

”Look who’s back!” Raven cheered on them as they walked into the living room, people seemed to be a lot drunker than before.   
”Hey guys” Lexa had a big smile on her face, a smile that hadn’t been there this whole trip - Clarke loved it.   
”Luna said you felt a bit sick after the food, are you alright Lexa?” Gustus asked and Clarke figured Luna had lied for them, that was pretty dope off her.   
”Oh, yes thank you” Lexa nodded as she winked at Luna who raised her glass.   
”My mom is a doctor so I know I thing or two” Clarke added.   
”Well - we where actually just talking about moving this party to the jacuzzi” Anya smiled.   
”Sounds great” Lexa agreed, her body was a bit tense after the previous activities.   
”Just remember guys, we are going skiing tomorrow!” Gustus looked at them. ”I don’t want a single person to stay home due to a hangover”   
”Never” Bellamy gave him an high-five.   
”Alright good, now turn up the music and go change into your swim wear” Gustus stated and everyone started to laugh, he definitely talked more after a few drinks.   
”Lexa…” Clarke lowered her voice.   
”Yeah?” Lexa looked at her.   
”I think you left some…umm marks that might be visible on my chest right now” Clarke looked at her in panic.   
”Oh..” Lexa started to chuckle.   
”It’s not funny” Clarke hushed her.  
”It’s a little bit babe” Lexa looked around to make sure no one was looking before she slightly moved Clarke’s shirt down a little bit and some red marks was getting worse. ”Allergies?”   
”Does it look like allergies to you?” Clarke looked down herself.   
”They’re all too drunk to think twice about it” Lexa tried to calm her but she had a goofy smile on her face at the same time.   
”You’re proud off them aren’t you?” Clarke let out a laugh herself and she had to hold herself back not to lean in for a kiss to wipe that smirk off Lexa’s face.

Damn, this was gonna be hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES - it's true! I am spoiling you with two chapters today because I am in a good mood lol!
> 
> So the girls are getting along again, yeeey.
> 
> Let's put all the drama behind us...hehehehhehe (or?) 
> 
> Sweet dreams!


	23. Skiing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally time for some skiing.

Clarke tried her best to remain quiet as she tried to open the door too Lexa’s room while steadying the plate she was holding with her other hand. She wanted surprise Lexa with breakfast in bed, luckily she woken up before the brunette and was able to sneak out with barely any sounds. She had been alone in the kitchen and decided to make coffee for everyone, it was amazing to wake up to the smell off coffee. However, the tricky part had been that she had no idea what Lexa liked to eat in the morning, maybe she didn’t even liked breakfast? But then she remembered that she had seen her make a toast the other day and figured it would be a safe move. 

She placed the plate to the nightstand next to Lexa and crouched down next to the bed, she had to admire the Lexa peacefully sleeping before carefully stroking her head a few times.   
”Hey” Clarke smiled as the brunette started to wake, she seemed oddly confused before she realized it was Clarke who stroked her.   
”Mmm…” Lexa leaned into her touch and reached out her arms. ”Why are you not in bed”   
”Lexa…” Clarke chuckled as she was dragged back to bed and hugged the brunette back.   
”What smells so good?” Lexa whispered into her neck.  
”I made you breakfast” Clarke straddled the girl and pointed to her side where a plate with two coffee cups, a toast each and some orange juice.   
”No you didn’t” Lexa sat up and placed her arms around Clarke’s waist as she started placing kisses in her neck.   
”We need some strength for skiing today” Clarke lifted Lexa’s chin to kiss her gently.

The girls finished their breakfast and before they had to get ready the cuddled in bed and talked about random things. They where both in a good mood as they packed the cars with the stuff they needed for their day on the mountain. Clarke wasn’t really an expert with skiing and it had been a a while since she did it, hopefully she wouldn’t make a total fool out off herself. 

Raven and Clarke was the only people who wanted to take on some easier hills to practice and where left alone while the rest went for it directly. She didn’t blame them, her and Raven basically only had to stand with the small hills they where riding down. 

”You seem off today” Clarke looked at her friend, she noticed the Latina wasn’t her usual happy self.   
”I’m just…surprised by you” Raven looked at her.   
”What do you mean?” Clarke asked as she steadied herself to be able to stand still with her skis.   
”How you been acting with Luna for the past days…that’s just mean”   
”Oh..” Clarke wasn’t ready for that conversation. ”We talked about it”   
”It doesn’t make it any better…you where about to kiss Lexa’s best friend in front of her - do you realize how that sounds?”   
”I’m not sure if I would’ve gone through with it” Clarke looked at her friend, Raven was always honest with her.   
”I think that’s bullshit…you wanted Lexa’s attention I can read you like an open book but with all people, Luna?”   
”I know it was bad Raven…I freaking know”   
”What did Lexa say?”   
”She did forgive me…well and she apologized -”  
”Apologized for what?” Raven bursted out. ”Having some doubts, she didn’t do anything nasty she was just…scared to take the next step”   
”I was hurt..” Clarke sighed. ”I didn’t think that this would happen”   
”You where hurt so you wanted to hurt her or what?”   
”No” Clarke bursted out. ”I-”   
”I’m not saying we all don’t do stupid shit when we like someone, I mean look at me and Anya…Just…Anya told me bit a about Lexa, what happened with Costia and…”   
”And..?” Clarke was curious.  
”Apparently she was so scared off losing her that she did everything for her, she was always the person who ended up saying I’m sorry - and it broke her eventually. I don’t want to be the person to tell you about this, you should talk to Lexa…let her know that you will no treat her like that - I was just, when I saw what happened with Luna and how she looked at you, and for her to say sorry. It’s messed up man”   
”Wow…” Clarke tried to take it all in, she had been a bitch and she had been selfish and she had sadly been to blind too see it.   
”I just wanted to give you a freaking wake-up call” Raven shook her head. ”You’re better than this”   
”I’ll talk to her” Clarke nodded.  
”I know you will” Raven gave her a smile now. ”Just don’t do it again”   
”She really makes me happy” Clarke admitted.   
”I know that too” Raven hugged her, it was not the easiest with skis on and it made the friends laugh. ”What do you say we join the others? I think we look ridiculous”   
”You think?” Clarke laughed. 

Raven and Clarke tried the higher hills and the blonde finally gathered some more confident, their friends was hard to find but after some rides they finally spotted the sisters by the lift.   
”We where wondering if you guys dies in the kids trail” Anya chuckled as she smiled at Raven.  
”It was scary” Clarke smiled as she looked at Lexa and the brunette winked at her.   
”Where is the rest?” Raven looked around.   
”We lost everyone” Anya told her. ”They guys are racing each other and Luna and Octavia wanted to try some forrest trail…it was hard to keep up with”   
”I’ll bet” Raven nodded.   
”Lexa, wanna take the lift with me?” Clarke looked at her.   
”Yes” She smiled and they made the awkward steps you had to make with the skis to get on the lift.   
”How’s it going?” Clarke asked as they where finally sitting down, this lift took a while.   
”It’s fun” Lexa looked at the view around her. ”I missed it”   
”It’s really fun” Clarke agreed. ”So…I actually wanted to talk to you”   
”Oh, okay?” Lexa looked at her now.   
”I just…I am not sure I deserved your forgiveness so easily the other day. I just was just really glad that you wanted me back but, what I did was shady af”   
”I’m not sure if I understand?” Lexa was confused.   
”I feel like you should’ve yelled at me”   
”Do you want me too?”   
”Of course not but, I deserved it. Honestly Lexa, I am so sorry for what happened with Luna.”   
”I’m not really used too…I always had too be sorry” Lexa admitted.   
”With Costia?” Clarke wanted to know more.  
”She turned everything into my fault and if I argued…she got crazy. I believed in the end that I was the reason for everything bad that was going on in our relationship, she manipulated me pretty bad.”   
”That’s terrible…” Clarke felt her heart ache more.   
”It’s just easier that way”   
”No…Lexa. I’m not Costia, I want you to tell me when I am doing something wrong, if I hurt you don’t hold back. If I am acting crazy, tell me…”   
”I just need to get used to it, you are very different from her”   
”Maybe that’s a good thing” Clarke smiled at her and moved closer to the brunette. ”Just be honest with me and I will try my best not to be a bitch” She teased. ”And I’ll be honest with you”  
”Okay” Lexa seemed a bit vulnerable about the subject and Clarke threw her arm around her shoulders.   
”I will try my best for you too trust me” Clarke told her and she meant it.   
”One step at the time” Lexa kissed her cheek and her lips was cold from the chilly air.   
”Oh we are here” Clarke prepared her skis and Lexa did the same.   
”One two…” Lexa got ready. ”And jump” The got off the lift and quickly moved away from it to not get hurt.   
”Wow” Clarke looked at the breathtaking view.  
”It’s pretty sick I know” Lexa smiled.  
”Okay…let me see if you got some moves” Clarke smirked.  
”Just don’t slow me down” Lexa winked as she pushed forward, of course she was good at it. 

The friends spent almost the entire day skiing, they had one break for some lunch they brought with them and then they kept going until five o´clock. They all felt defeated and tired as they reached the house again and every single one off them complained about their feet hurting. Clarke and Lexa decided to take a warm bubble bath together and they say there for a while massaging each others feet.

Clarke honestly felt exhausted as she lied down in Lexa’s bed, feeling fresh from the shower but her body was aching.   
”Come here” She looked at Lexa as she got dressed in some comfy sweats and and oversized T-shirt, seemed to be her go to chill outfit.   
”Have you seen my phone?” Lexa wondered as jumped on the bed.   
”Yeah I think I saw it” Clarke fumbled with her hands under the covers before she grabbed it, she couldn’t help but notice how many messages and DM’s the girl had on her phone but decided not to question it.   
”Thanks” Lexa grabbed it and quickly scrolled through her notifications. ”Fuck…”  
”What’s wrong?” Clarke wondered.   
”Dad’s wondering when I want go visit mom”   
”Oh, how is she feeling”   
”Damn, a lot happened since the last time we talked about it” Lexa sighed.   
”Do you wanna talk about it?”   
”Mom’s cancer is gone” Lexa looked at her but she looked sad.  
”Isn’t that…good news?”   
”It is…but I also found out that she’s bipolar and what I understood is that she’s very depressed after this journey.”   
”You didn’t know that she was bipolar?” Clarke placed an hand on Lexa’s leg.   
”My family likes secrets” Lexa put her hand over Clarke’s. ”She’s been depressed for months apparently, Anya remembers it from our childhood but I don’t”   
”And your dad let you think she was sick?”   
”He hopes she would snap out off it I guess…”   
”I’m sorry” Clarke moved closer and leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder.   
”I mean, she’s my mom. I love her and I miss her so freaking much but - It scares me, they say I won’t recognize her”   
”Do you…want me to come with you?” Clarke looked at her.   
”Would you do that?” Lexa locked green eyes with ocean blue.   
”Of course” Clarke nodded. ”You’re not alone anymore”   
”I guess not” It made Lexa shyly smile and it was adorable.   
”Do you wanna tell me about her?” Clarke asked.  
”My mom?”   
”Yeah” Clarke nodded. 

Lexa started talking about her childhood memories, how her mom used to make her breakfast, how every Sunday she got to decide their activity and how her mom was there for her when her dad wasn’t. How suddenly all this chaos might have gotten them closer but it frightened her because she didn’t wanna lose her mom. 

She described her mom very beautiful and Clarke couldn’t believe how strong Lexa had been this semester, holding her head held high with all this shit going on + having an ex that broke her heart. With being so alone in all this but with only one goal and for it to make her stronger, she really had a rough path. 

Clarke couldn’t relate in that manner, she grew up in a loving family - she was also an only child and received all the love from her parents - sure it broke her. Her dad had guided her, challenged her, raised her and given advice she will always remember.   
If she could be there for Lexa and offer some help in anyway, she wanted to be that person for her. It’s hard to ask for help sometimes but some baggage are to heavy to carry alone. 

She wanted to prove too Lexa that she was there for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I hate to say it but all the negative comments really makes me unmotivated but then I see the people that have supported the story from the beginning and it makes me smile. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and just, if you don't like it - you can easily just don't read it.
> 
> Anyways, you're all awesome! Take care


	24. Back to shool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day back in school get's intense

Clarke dropped her bags in the middle off her room, she looked around and was glad she decided to clean it before going away. It’s amazing to come home to a tidy room even if her bag would probably take her a few days to unpack. 

The trip had been everything she wanted it to be in the end, her and Lexa had gotten to spend a lot off time together - she also got to hang out with the friends she love and get to know Lexa’s friends some more. 

It would be interesting how this would affect them in school, would they hang out now? Have lunch together? She wasn’t sure but it was a great feeling to go home with some new friends and a…girlfriend? Her and Lexa never really said the word but they implied it, at least they where dating now. 

Clarke Griffin: Hey, just got home. Did you fall asleep behind the wheel? ;)   
Lexa Woods: Good, same. Got home a few minutes ago…and no you little teas   
Clarke Griffin: I’m sorry I kept you up all night  
Lexa Woods: Wanna come over and do it again? ;)   
Clarke Griffin: Really? Not tired of me yet haha.   
Lexa Woods: Is that a yes?  
Clarke Griffin: Duh  
Lexa Woods: I’ll pick you up in about an hour

Clarke smiled at the phone and made an awkward happy dance for herself, of course she didn’t want to spend the night alone after spending so many nights with Lexa. School didn’t start for a few days and she still had new years eve to look forward too. 

After what became two hours Clarke was chilling in the living room at Lexa’s place, she was talking on the phone with Anya at the moment. She decided to swipe around on Netflix in the meantime, trying to find something to watch.

”How’s my girl” Lexa sat down in the couch and wrapped her arms around Clarke.  
”Better now” Clarke smiled and kissed her, not once, not twice but multiple times.   
”Mhmm…” Lexa smiled into the kisses.   
”What did Anya say?” Clarke wondered.   
”So yeah, her and Raven asked if they should come over and we could watch some movies together?”   
”They didn’t last long either” Clarke chuckled.   
”What do you say?” Lexa smiled and leaned in for another kiss. ”Do you want it to be just you and me or should we invite them?”   
”A movie night could be fun” Clarke smiled back. ”I mean I’ll get you to myself later”   
”True…” Lexa grabbed her phone and started tapping. ”I’ll tell them to bring some food”   
”You are seriously always hungry” Clarke laughed.  
”Hungry for a lot off things” Lexa winked. 

Lazy days and long nights is how the rest off the holiday looked like for the girls, Clarke didn’t complain - she loved spending time with Lexa. New years eve was celebrated with a big party in the mansion and as Clarke had kissed Lexa to celebrate the new year she could only feel excited for whats next. 

First day back to school was a rough morning, Clarke was used to sleeping in - and also waking up with Lexa’s body pressed against hers. It’s pretty insane how fast the body can get used to a new habit, she didn’t sleep well but she was excited to see Lexa at school. 

It was silly but she had gotten Lexa her favorite snack, it was a random chocolate bar with peanut flavor. The brunette hadn’t been excited to go back to school and maybe it could cheer her up a little bit at least. 

Clarke leaned against Lexa’s locker and waited for her to arrive, she was early as usual - never late to anything, especially not first day back after a break. After she had listened to a few songs and scrolled around on different apps she could finally see Lexa walking down the hall way. She was wearing blue jeans, she usual went with black so it was rare to see her in some colors, of course she black leather jacket with a black shirt underneath so it wasn’t too crazy. Anyway, she looked bomb and as she noticed Clarke she gave her smile that made her heart flutter. 

”Hey” Lexa greeted her and Clarke leaned in for a kiss but the brunette quickly dogded it.   
”What?” Clarke laughed.   
”Not that I’m not tempted babe” Lexa lowered her voice. ”But…we’re in school”   
”Why are we hiding again?” Clarke pouted.   
”Because we want the students to vote for us as individuals and based on what we stand for…”   
”I know I agreed on this but it seems silly, does it really matter?”   
”It’s basically your words” Lexa chuckled. ”And we don’t want people to vote for the hot lesbians…we don’t want that to take all the attention from whats important”   
”I know” Clarke nodded. ”I have 10 minutes before I have to get to class”  
”Oh..” Lexa smirked. ”Bathroom stall?”   
”Now” Clarke laughed as the girls rushed away to make-out. 

As it was the first day off school, her and Lexa was expected to give a speech at the end off the day. It was sort of a tradition, to welcome everyone and encourage them to work extra hard the last semester. 

Clarke was again early but even for Lexa she was running late and she was actually getting worried about her. Kane seemed a bit confused as well as he kept looking at his watch and asked everyone if they seen her. 

”I’ll go look for her” Clarke told him.  
”It’s starting soon, I’m not sure you have time Clarke”  
”Stall them” Clarke grabbed her phone and ran out off the assembly hall, she had to be around here somewhere? She started with the basics. looking through the classrooms and the hallways - at least the once she knew she would be in. Of course, it was not a single person in sight due to the fact that everyone was waiting for her and Lexa to hold their speeches. 

She decided to run to the parking lot to see if her car was still there and it was, it meant that she had to be around here somewhere - why didn’t she answer her calls? Clarke looked around and further away close to the building Lexa was sitting against the wall alone.

”Hey” She was slightly out off breath as she reached the girl.   
”Hey” Lexa didn’t look at her and she realized something was wrong so she sat down next to her and looked at her for a few seconds, the brunette kept starring at nothing. ”What’s wrong?”   
”My mom is back” Lexa still didn’t look at her.   
”Oh…” Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s thigh. ”Is she…okay?”   
”No but dad wanted her home, thinking it might be better for her”   
”Your dad is not really good with warnings is he”   
”I don’t know how to feel about it Clarke” Lexa finally looked at her and Clarke placed her hand on her cheek instead and the brunette leaned into the touch.   
”I don’t think anyone can prepare for what you have gone through…but I also know that you want to see your mom. Just remember her the way she was and hold onto that.”   
”What if she never…”   
”Hey, no no no” Clarke hushed her. ”I actually talked to my mom about it, I didn’t tell your story but I asked about these scenarios and she said they can be pretty normal after a big change in their life, and she also said that it can take time - but they snap out off it eventually”   
”But it’s still gonna be there and it can be temporary” Lexa sighed.   
”I mean it had been years since her last depression, she’s strong Lexa. Just like you”   
”What do I even say to her?”   
”That you love her…I guess just show her that you are there for her..shit” Clarke’s phone started buzzing and she answered it as it was Kane. ”I found her”   
”I got the orchestra to play some music but you girls need to hurry up, this is not like you?”   
”Okay thank you, we will be there soon” She hanged up.  
”I can’t do a speech right now Clarke…just tell him I’m sick or something”   
”No, I am not letting you miss this Lexa. It’s important for your campaign”   
”So…you will gain something out off it”   
”How about we do the speech together, I can do most off the talking”   
”I don’t think we’re allowed -”  
”Grab my hand” Clarke stood up and reached out her hand. ”I got your back”   
”Clarke…” Lexa sighed but she grabbed her hand and got to her feet as well.  
”I’ve got you, okay?” Clarke locked eyes with her trying to convince the girl in front of her.   
”Fine” Lexa finally gave in and they started rushing back to the assembly hall. 

”Thank god” Kane looked at them stressed as the orchestra was actually walking down the stage as the came running in.   
”We’re sorry” Clarke looked at him.   
”They are getting impatient, schools ended and they want to go home”   
”We will do it together” Clarke told him as put an hand on Lexa’s back to push her forward to the stage.   
”Wait” Kane yelled behind them but it was too late. They entered the stage and people started cheering on them.  
”HELLO” Clarke yelled.   
”Hi” Lexa waved as she tried the same energy Clarke had.   
”We know it’s getting late and we know you’re all just glad you survived the first day back” Clarke started. ”So we where thinking that we could welcome you guys together”  
”Yes” Lexa added and as they where standing behind a podium Clarke reached for her hand and Lexa grabbed it and held on tight.   
”We are gonna keep this short but we are here to remind you that this is an important semester and your voting this year will impact your last year at the school. Your vote matters, not only for us but for yourself. It can be hectic and school can be overwhelming that’s why we are here to represent you, we stand behind you and we want to make the last year the best year for you”   
”We do” Lexa nodded.   
”I don’t forget that your all awesome and together”  
”Together” Lexa looked at Clarke.  
”We can do it” Clarke added. ”COME ON!! LAST SEMESTER BEFORE SUMMER BREAK” Clarke raised her voice and the students started applauding and cheering again. ”Thank you, you’re all amazing!”  
”Thank you” Lexa smiled even if it was forced before they left the stage again. 

”Girls!” Kane was waiting for them.   
”Sorry I was late” Lexa said.   
”You are suppose to be a role model to those kids” Kane shook his head.   
”It won’t happen again” Clarke told him.   
”Good”  
”Thank you for - ” Lexa looked at him. ”Thank you”   
”You’re a good girl Lexa, now come on. Go home”   
”Come on” Clarke agreed and they started walking towards the parking lot.   
”I’m not sure if I wanna go home” Lexa sighed.   
”Wanna come over to my place?”   
”What about your mom?” Lexa wondered.  
”A bit too social but she’s nice” Clarke smiled.  
”I do actually” Lexa nodded. ”And…thank you for the speech”  
”It was nothing”  
”No seriously, it was really nice. You where really there for me. I’m not really used to that”   
”Well…get used to it” Clarke stopped at her side off the car.   
”I can’t wait to do this” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s waist and pulled her closer as she collided their lips together.   
”What if someone sees us?” Clarke smiled into the kiss.   
”Worth it” Lexa smiled back.  
"Oh wait..." Clarke chuckled. "I forgot to give you this before" She grabbed the chocolate bar from her bag and handed it to her. "It was to cheer you up this morning but I think you need it more now anyway"   
"Peanut flavor?"   
"You know it"   
"Trying to get into my pants or something?" Lexa's smirk was back and it meant she did something right at least.  
"Don't flatter yourself" Clarke teased back.  
"No but really...thank you Clarke.."   
"I know" Clarke shyly smiled.   
"Come on let's see if your mom is gonna like me or not" Lexa chuckled.   
"Who wouldn't"   
"So we're not gonna talk about how we got to know each other?"   
"Let's not" Clarke laughed as she got into the car.

Maybe it started rough but at least it seemed like it was heading to the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I know I usually post like everyday so sorry for the delay! I want to thank you for all the sweet comments on my last chapter, you're all amazing and awesome! 
> 
> Hope you like this new chapter!
> 
> Take care and stay flawless!


	25. Abbys advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa visits Clarke's place for the first time

Lexa carefully entered the unfamiliar apartment and heard how Clarke’s mom yelled for her, it smelled like she was cooking.   
”Hey mom” Clarke took her shoes off and looked back at Lexa. ”I’m here with um…Lexa”   
”Wait what?” Her mother entered the hall and looked a bit surprised as she saw Lexa. ”Oh hi dear, my name is Abby”   
”Hi, I’m Lexa” She reached out her hand but Abby pulled her into a hug.  
”She’s a hugger, sorry” Clarke chuckled.   
”Nice to finally meet you, I heard a lot about you”   
”Mom” Clarke hushed her.   
”Oh really now?” Lexa smiled. ”Only good things I assume”   
”You’re her opponent right?” Abby asked.   
”Correct” Lexa nodded.  
”Well, dinner is ready I hope you’re both hungry?” Abby looked at them. ”We can get to know each other a little bit more over lasagna, how does that sound?”   
”Thank you Mrs.Griffin” Lexa smiled.  
”Oh please, call me Abby” She laughed.

They had a nice time at the dinner table and Lexa had forgotten how it felt to have a family dinner - or actually a home cooked meal, it had been a lot of take outs lately. She liked Abby, she was down to earth and kind - it sort of reflected in how she had decorated their home, it felt safe. 

After dinner Clarke showed her around and brought Lexa to her room, it was pretty cramped but big enough for the necessary stuff. A pretty big bed, a colorful one, there was a drawer next to it and a big mirror and on the other side she had a desk where she probably had kept hours studying at.   
”It’s not a fancy mansion” Clarke sat down on her bed. ”But mom did a pretty good job with the apartment”   
”You know I don’t care about that stuff, I actually really like it” Lexa sat down next to her. ”It feels more like a home”   
”Yeah?” Clarke looked at her.   
”Thank you for letting me come over”   
”How are you feeling?” Clarke wrapped her arms around her and forced their weight to fall back in the bed.   
”Better now” Lexa hugged her back.   
”Sorry for my mom, she asks a lot off questions I know” Clarke wined.   
”I like her” Lexa calmed her. ”She’s just…interested”   
”I guess” Clarke sat back up again. ”I need to take a shower”  
”That’s alright, I noticed it’s big enough for two people”   
”Schh..” Clarke laughed as she threw a pillow in her face.   
”Ouch” Lexa smirked.   
”Will you survive here by yourself?”   
”I guess I have too” Lexa pouted.   
”Make yourself at home…” Clarke stood up and took her hoodie off.   
”First you don’t wanna shower with me and now you’re stripping in front off me..who’s the teaser again?”   
”Still you babe” Clarke chuckled.   
”Alright…get your ass in the shower” Lexa kissed the air and watched as the blonde left the room. 

Lexa wasn’t sure why but there was something about Abby that had made her feel comfortable around her and she found herself back in the kitchen where Clarke’s mom was drinking some tea and reading at the table.   
”Are you leaving?” Abby looked at her.  
”Um…no” Lexa shook her head as she got a bit nervous.   
”Is something wrong?”   
”Can I ask you something?” Lexa looked at her curious to how she would react and Abby’s eyes got filled with warmth as she nodded.  
”Of course, sit down” Abby closed the book she was reading and Lexa sat down next to her.   
”I’m sorry to bother you with this but…Clarke told me you are a doctor and I guess I am just looking for some advice. It may not be an expertise at this but maybe you know something -”   
”What is it love?” Abby cut her off. ”I’ll try my best”   
”Well…My mom is bipolar, I didn’t know until a few weeks ago. She survived cancer but the long journey took a toll on her I guess. I haven’t seen her in almost 6 months and…I just, my family remembers this but I don’t. It’s new for me and I…I’m not sure how to help her”   
”It’s okay…dealing with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder can be difficult—and not just for the person with the illness. The moods and behaviors of a person with bipolar disorder affect everyone around—especially family members and close friends. It can put a strain on your relationship and disrupt all aspects of family life.”  
”I feel like it has…my haven’t seen my dad like this ever and my sister don’t wanna talk about it…and I just feel a bit lost in this”   
”During episodes of depression, you may have to pick up the slack for a loved one who doesn’t have the energy to meet responsibilities at home or work…” Abby took a deep breath. ”The good news is that most people with bipolar disorder can stabilize their moods with proper treatment, medication, and support. Your patience, love, and understanding can play a significant part in your loved one’s treatment and recovery. Often, just having someone to talk to can make all the difference to their outlook and motivation…and maybe that could be you”   
”Just be there for her?” Lexa wondered.  
”Yes, but caring for a person with bipolar disorder can also take a toll if you neglect your own needs, so it’s important to find a balance between supporting your loved one and taking care of yourself”   
”Yeah…I just want her to be okay you know. I miss her” Lexa looked at Abby.   
”I know sweetie, you have to be patient though. Getting better takes time, even when a person is committed to treatment. Don’t expect a quick recovery or a permanent cure. Be patient with the pace of recovery and prepare for setbacks and challenges. Managing bipolar disorder is a lifelong process” Abby was honest and real, Lexa appreciated that.   
”I got that part…” Lexa sighed. ”Thank you Mrs-G… I mean Abby”   
”Anytime Lexa, thank you for trusting me with this”   
”It was really helpful actually…”   
”It sounds like your mom has been through a lot…it’s a lot off responsibility for you too take on, so if you ever need me. I am here okay?”   
”Thank you again”  
”You’re a good girl Lexa, nice to see that you and Clarke get a long”   
”She’s pretty awesome” Lexa smiled at the thought off the blonde.   
”So are you” Abby smiled back.   
”Well, I will let you read…I think Clarke is done in the bathroom”   
”Okay, can you tell her to put the washing machine on please?”   
”Of course” Lexa stood up and walked back to Clarke’s room, she had changed into some comfier clothes.   
”Where did you go?” Clarke asked.   
”I just chilled with your mom” Lexa winked. ”She wanted me to tell you to put on-”  
”The washing machine, yes it’s done” Clarke smiled.   
”Always one step ahead” Lexa smiled as she lied down on the bed she watched as Clarke brought her computer before laying down next to her.  
”So I need study a little bit” Clarke looked at her.  
”It’s the first day back?” Lexa laughed.  
”What did you just say?”   
”Always one step ahead” Lexa nodded. ”Alright, you do your thing babe” 

They laid there in silence for a while and Lexa actually found the tapping sound from the computer calming as she scrolled through her social media on her phone. She wasn’t sure how long it had been when Clarke finally closed the laptop and stretched her body.   
”Done?” Lexa mumbled as she kept typing on her phone.   
”Yeah…” Clarke turned to her side and looked at the brunette. ”Who have you been texting this whole time?”  
”Replying to some DM’s” Lexa answered. ”Keeping my voters happy”   
”Oh…” Clarke smiled as she crawled closer and Lexa put her arm around her so that the blonde could rest on her chest.  
”They are talking about the speech today” Lexa showed her.   
”You looked great up there” Clarke read an message out loud. ”Sounds more like flirting to me”   
”Look here…” Lexa opened another one. ”Glad to see you back on stage, always cheering you on”   
”And a winky face” Clarke chuckled.   
”Well to be fair…they don’t know that I have a girlfriend” Lexa slipped out and looked at Clarke in panic to see how she would react.   
”Girlfriend?” Clarke smiled.   
”Yeah, actually. You are my girlfriend” She said more confident.   
”I like the sound off that” Clarke tilted her head so she could reach for a kiss and Lexa met her halfway.   
”Me too” Lexa smiled into the kiss.  
”I do not like that you have tons of DM’s from girls that think you’re single though”   
”You know I’m just being friendly” Lexa chuckled.   
”Yeah…yeah…” Clarke nodded as she rested her head back on Lexa’s chest. 

Clarke had offered Lexa to spend the night and even if she wanted too, Lexa felt like she had to go home and see her mother. After talking to Abby she had felt a bit more confident about it, she needed to show her mom that she was there for her. 

”Okay Lexa” Her dad was standing outside the closed guest room with her. ”Remember, she’s still your mom. Just…”   
”I know” Lexa nodded.   
”Okay” Her dad carefully opened the door, it was dark but she could see a shape off a body laying on the bed.   
”Okay” Lexa looked at her father before she closed the door behind her, as she turned back to the bed there was no movement or a sign off her mother even noticing her. She carefully walked up to the bed   
”Mom…?” She whispered into the quiet room, still no reaction. She crouched down and was finally able to see her face, it was pale and her mom had lost a lot off weight. ”Mom?” Lexa placed a hand on her shoulder and by the touch her mom opened her eyes and stared at her scared. ”No it’s okay mom, it’s me Lexa” She panicked a little bit but tried to calm herself.   
”No” Her moms voice was raspy and dark, not as she remembered.  
”I’m here now mom, I’m here for you” Lexa breathed out and she waited for her mom to speak again but instead she closed here eyes again. 

She looked at her for a while, not a single face expression - just her body moving due to her breathing - she decided to leave her alone. She walked out and her dad was waiting for her outside. 

”How did it go?” He wondered.   
”She didn’t wanna talk to me” Lexa sighed.   
”Come here sweetie” Her dad pulled her into a hug.   
”She opened her eyes and then she just said no…” Lexa explained.   
”Wait - ” Her dad let go off her and stared into her eyes intense. ”She talked?”   
”Not really…she said one word”   
”Lexa…she haven’t said a single word to me in…weeks” Her dad was suddenly smiling.  
”I don’t understand?”   
”Seeing you…it must have triggered something in her”   
”So you’re saying what just happened was a good thing?” Lexa had felt the opposite.   
”It’s a start at least” Her dad smiled at her.   
”Okay” Lexa was still a bit confused but glad she was able to get some sort off reaction from her mother at least. She reached for her phone and texted Clarke. 

Lexa Woods: I think it went alright, thank you for being there for me today. Tell you more tomorrow, goodnight.   
Lexa Woods: I mean, goodnight girlfriend! ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Sorry I have a lot to do before this year ends so I don't have the same time too post as much, thank you for being patient.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Take care! :)


	26. Confession time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day at school...or?

”What do you think about this one?” Octavia held up an big poster with Clarke crossing her arms in a black suit, at the bottom it said VOTE FOR CLARKE in red.   
”I look serious” Clarke studied it.   
”You look great” Raven looked at it as well.   
”It’s big” Clarke chuckled.  
”It’s supposed to be, if you want people to see it” Octavia put it down. ”I have more from our little photoshoots, I placed some off you quotes on some off them”   
”You’re the best” Clarke smiled. ”Thank you”   
”Me and the team will help you put them up” Bellamy looked at her.  
”Perfect” She thanked him.   
”Okay me and Octavia gotta go to math, anything else we can do?” Raven wondered.   
”No me and Bell can clean this up”   
”Okay see you later”   
”Thanks girls!” Clarke yelled behind them.   
”You really do look great in these photos” Bellamy smiled.   
”I know I need this but the idea off my face being all over the school is pretty disturbing”   
”Your face has been everywhere before” Bellamy laughed.   
”I know but I still can’t get used too it”   
”I think you like it a little bit” Bellamy chuckled.   
”Schh…” Clarke shook her head. ”Don’t tell anyone” She winked.   
”HEY YOU” Anya yelled as she entered the classroom they had borrowed to prepare the posters with Lexa behind her.   
”Hey guys” Bellamy greeted them and Clarke smiled shyly at Lexa.   
”How did it go with the posters?” Lexa wondered.   
”Can’t tell the opponent” Bellamy smiled.   
”I see…” Lexa raised an eyebrow and looked at Clarke.   
”You’ll see them when they’re up on the walls” Bellamy continued.  
”I thought Raven was here?” Anya asked.   
”She was, had to run to class” Clarke told her.   
”Bummer” Anya shrugged. ”Oh well losers, gotta go”   
”Can I talk to you Clarke?” Lexa looked at her.   
”Yeah?”   
”Alone” Lexa looked at Bellamy.  
”Fine…” Bellamy grabbed his bag. ”Gotta run to practice anyway”   
”Thank you for the help” Clarke smiled at him.  
”Anytime” He smiled back and left the room and Lexa closed the door behind him.  
”Anytime” She repeated him and looked at Clarke with a judging look. ”You still don’t believe he has a crush on you?”   
”He’s on off my best friends” Clarke reached for Lexa’s hand and dragged her further into the room and kissed her. ”And I’m crushing on someone else”   
”Oh really” Lexa smiled into the kiss. ”WHO?” She kissed her again.   
”Tall, brown haired, smirks a lot…a great kisser…”   
”Sounds like Bellamy to me” Lexa teased.   
”No” Clarke smiled into the kiss. ”Bellamy has some parts my crush is missing” She chuckled.   
”Okay, let’s stop talking about Bellamy while we’re kissing” Lexa shook her head.   
”So…what did you wanna talk about?” Clarke wondered.   
”Nothing, I just wanted you for myself” Lexa smiled.   
”Well, let’s not waste it then” Clarke smiled back as she leaned in for another kiss. 

Today marked an important day for Clarke, the TV screens that was placed in the hallways that was usually filled with information or announcement was now showing two names. Lexa and Clarke, she had gotten the color blue while Lexa was in red. From this day forward she would be able to see the votes on the screen, the students used an app to vote either blue or red - for now they can switch as much as they like but on the final day - once they chose an color, thats it. She was actually beginning to get a bit nervous about it, it felt more real now. All though it was still 0% on both sides, it would soon change as soon as the students started voting. Clarke knew that some people fooled around with it, pressed whatever or pressed an color to make it seem like someone was leading but on the final date change. She couldn’t fully trust it because off that. 

”Are you getting nervous?” Niylah walked up to her as she stared at the screens.   
”I won’t lie, I am a little bit” Clarke admitted.   
”You will do great” She smiled.   
”So are you really voting for Lexa with the cheerleading squad?”   
”It’s a team thing…Team captain Ashley wants to make an event on the final day, make us all press the red side at the same time”   
”I thought I had your vote” Clarke sighed, the whole cheerleader squad was a big win for Lexa.   
”I don’t want too disappoint the team…You know I believe in you though”   
”I didn’t think the cheerleading team was that into the campaign?” Clarke wondered, why have an event for this?   
”I guess Ashley has a thing for Lexa” Niylah chuckled and Clarke’s smile dropped.   
”Oh…”   
”I guess she wants to impress her, she’s on us about this all the time and every time Lexa comes visit practice she’s being all extra about it” Niylah explained.   
”I see…” Clarke didn’t want to be jealous but she hated the idea off a whole cheerleading squad worshipping Lexa, especially Ashley - she was gorgeous. ”I didn’t know Ash was into girls?”   
”I guess she’s bicurious…with Lexa at least but I mean can you blame her? Have you seen that woman?” Niylah chuckled.   
”Lexa is beautiful” Clarke couldn’t fight that.   
”Anyway, I hope it wont be any hard feelings between us - like I said, it’s a team thing and - I really want to stay in the squad next year”   
”No, don’t worry” Clarke shook her head.   
”Good luck” Niylah smiled before she walked away again. 

Clarke tried her best to ignore the screen until lunch where it was practically impossible not to see them, especially with the huge screen above the little stage. For now she was in the lead but it wasn’t much, 55% vs 45% and she had no idea if 10 students voted or 40 - it was a big school, it would take time for all off them to vote. 

”Our girl is in the lead” Octavia smiled as she looked at the screen and placed her plate on the table.   
”For now” Clarke sat down.   
”We got this” Raven cheered her on.   
”Hey guys” Anya and Lexa joined their table.   
”Hey” Raven kissed Anya gently as she sat down next to her and Clarke looked at Lexa, they where probably both thinking the same thing - they wanted to be open about their relationship as well. Being able to behave as normal but they had decided this together.   
”So I guess I have some work to do” Lexa looked at the screen.   
”At least you have the cheerleading squad” Clarke muttered, yes she was a bit bitter about it.   
”I hope so”   
”They would die for you” Anya laughed before entering a conversation with Octavia and Raven.   
”I heard Ashley adores you” Clarke lowered her voice but their friends was focused on something else.   
”We get a long, that’s it” Lexa shrugged. ”So she helped me with the squad”   
”You know she’s into you right?” Clarke teased her the way Lexa had with Bellamy.   
”I don’t think she’s into girls” Lexa chuckled.   
”That’s not what I heard” Clarke smirked.   
”Oh, someone’s a bit jealous - is that it?” Lexa winked.   
”You’re saying I’m blind with Bell…see how the tables has turned”   
”You know there’s nothing to worry about babe” Lexa smiled at her.   
”I trust you, I don’t trust Ashley” Clarke chuckled, it wasn’t a tense conversation.   
”Like I trust you but not Bellamy”   
”Maybe I am little jealous” Clarke admitted.   
”Now you know the feeling, I wanted to punch Bellamy in the face earlier”   
”Punch who?” Raven overheard them.   
”No, nothing” Lexa shook her head.   
”Oh, I was ready to fight” Raven laughed.   
”You just want to let your inner Latina out, don’t you?” Anya smirked at her.   
”She’s been calm for a while, don’t disturb her” Raven warned her.   
”Trust me, I don’t want that” Anya shook her head frightened.   
”No one wants that” Clarke laughed. 

They finished their lunch, Clarke noticed that some students looked at them confused - as they usually didn’t even talk to each other to having lunch at the same table could be confusing. Clarke thought it was a bit amusing though, some off them had to look twice to make sure they weren’t seeing things. 

At the end off the day she found herself in the library finishing some homework, she liked studying in there, she got a lot done and it was peaceful. Especially after most people left the school to go home, until now she had been completely alone in there. 

”I am not surprised too find you here” Bellamy chuckled as he walked up to where she was sitting.  
”I am surprised to see you here” Clarke admitted.   
”Needed to get some books for an English essay” Bellamy hold them up.   
”That makes sense”   
”Yeah…” Bellamy sighed as she looked at her with curious eyes. ”Can I ask you something?”   
”Okay?” Clarke had no idea what this was about.   
”Is it something going on between you and Lexa?” Bellamy asked and it took her off guard but she tried to act normal.  
”What do you mean?”   
”You seemed really close on our trip, seemed tense?”   
”I guess we where just getting to know each other” Clarke lied. ”It’s nice to not fight with my opponent and she was on the same page”   
”Are you sure because I see the way she look at you” Bellamy didn’t give up.   
”I think you are imagining things”   
”So there is nothing going on? What did she wanna talk about earlier?”   
”Is this an investigation?” Clarke chuckled and tried to brush it off.   
”Just curious, she screwed you up before remember?”   
”We are passed that” She shook her head. ”And she apologized”   
”Okay..so she’s not blackmailing you or something?”   
”Blackmailing? What the fuck Bell” Clarke was getting a bit frustrated now. ”She wanted to talk about some campaign stuff, nothing out to the public yet”   
”Okay…” Bellamy shrugged.   
”What’s your problem with her?” She asked him.   
”I don’t trust her”   
”You don’t have to worry about her, she’s nice…we’re getting along now”   
”Why are you defending her this much?” Bellamy seemed to be a bit upset about it. ”I think you’re lying to me, there is something going on between you guys. I’m not stupid”   
”And what makes you think that?” Clarke wasn’t sure how to respond, he wasn’t wrong after all.  
”Like I said, I see that the way she looks at you”   
”And what does that even mean?”   
”She looks at you like I do” Bellamy sighed as he took a deep breath and looked at her nervous.   
”Wait…what do you mean?” Clarke stopped breathing for a second, did he just? No - they where just friends.   
”Clarke, you know what I mean” Bellamy shook his head and took a few more breaths to gather himself, she wasn’t used to seeing him like this.   
”What are you saying?” Clarke almost whispered, she didn’t want to have this conversation - she had been sure she wouldn’t have too. Lexa had been right all along…

”You know exactly what I’m saying Clarke, I like you - always had. This can’t come like an surprise to you?” Bellamy looked at her again but she was absolutely speechless, she had no idea what to say so she just looked at him. 

”Please Clarke, say something”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeey!
> 
> Woops? Intrigued to see what you think about this chapter lol! 
> 
> Hope you like it, 
> 
> and as always take care! :)


	27. You're not gonna like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to follow both Lexa and Clarke in this chapter.

”You know what?” Bellamy sighed. ”Forget I even said anything…”   
”Bellamy” Clarke stood up.   
”After everything we been through I thought I at least deserved some honesty from you Clarke…” He looked at her. ”But silence? I just put myself out there”   
”You must understand I am a bit shocked”   
”Just…forget it okay” He started walking but Clarke went after him, she felt bad about the situation.   
”Don’t walk away” Clarke raised her voice as he kept walking towards the entrance off the school.   
”Then please say something” He opened the door and the sudden sunshine hurt her eyes for a second.   
”Okay, okay” Clarke took a deep breath and he finally turned around to look at her. ”I am sorry Bellamy, I do love you and I care for you but you are one off my best friends and I…I don’t feel that way about you”  
”Because you never let yourself go there” Bellamy crossed his arms. ”You know there is something here, we just never act on it”  
”Bell” Clarke might have thought about in the past for a brief moment. ”I’m sorry…I don’t want this to affect our friendship”   
”I think it just did Clarke, listen…and think I might need some space from you” Bell looked at her with sadness in his eyes. She didn’t like seeing him like this but was she suppose to lie to him? That would only make everything worse.   
”We should talk about it…please Bellamy” Clarke pleaded.   
”I’m sorry” Bellamy shook his head and turned around as he started walking away from her, she didn’t try to stop him this time. She figured he needed space but she watched him walk away until she couldn’t see him anymore due to the trees and bushes.   
”Fuck…” She breathed for herself. 

***

Lexa looked at her mom as she carefully brushed her hair, it was dirty and she wanted to clean it for her but she had no idea how. At least she could sort out the tangled hair - her mother didn’t seem to mind. To be fair she didn’t seem to care about anything but Lexa was living on that small ”no” she had gotten a few days ago. 

As she was brushing her hair she talked to her even if she didn’t get any response, deep down it felt like her mother listened to every word so she kept going even if it was nonsense. She told her about her day and she even talked about Clarke, that she was catching feelings for someone again. 

Her mother had always been supportive since she came out, it wasn’t really a big thing either. Lexa had gotten home with her first…could she even call it a girl friend? Anyway, her mother had just asked if it was her girlfriend and Lexa had nodded quietly in response, unsure what would come next. 

Her mom hugged her and said she loved her no matter what and that she was happy for her and that was it, she never really had a struggle coming out - her dad didn’t say much about it but he didn’t look at her different or questioned her choices. He was supportive in his own way and to be honest she didn’t want them to be extra about it. It was still her, nothing had changed really. 

Anya never really stated her sexuality, she had been with boys and girls over the years - honestly Lexa believed she fell for the person rather than focusing on the gender. As long as her sister was happy she was cool with it. 

”We’re gonna be alright” Lexa kissed her mothers forehead before leaving the dark room, she wanted to turn some lights on but she was thinking baby steps. She didn’t want to force anything but she was thinking about starting with a table lamp, a bit further away from the bed to see how her mother would react. 

She had a good feeling about this, her mother was strong.

***

”He did what?” Octavia looked at Clarke surprised to hear her brother confess his feelings for her.   
”He’s avoiding me, ignoring my calls…my texts. I honestly don’t know what to do” Clarke sighed as she sat down on Ravens bed. It was a few days after the day in the library but she hadn’t had the time to tell them yet, she had suggested for them to hang out today and her friends had been eager to hear what she had to say.   
”To be fair…” Raven looked up from her phone. ”Are you really that surprised, anyone can see that he has a crush on you”   
”I didn’t” Octavia bursted out. ”He never said anything about it to me and to be fair we talk about almost everything”   
”We might had a flirty past or…I’m not sure if I can even call it that. We have been friend zoning each other for years”   
”Did you ever think about it?” Raven wondered. ”You and him?”   
”Not really…He’s a good guy and I do love him but…”   
”That’s not what I asked” Raven pushed.   
”Yeah fine, I might have - but that was a long time ago. I don’t want to ruin our friendship and to be fair…I can’t even see him like that anymore”   
”I can’t believe this…typical guys to speak up years later” Octavia shook her head. ”Like what did he expect?”   
”Probably not this” Clarke shrugged. ”I just…I feel so bad about it”   
”What did Lexa say?” Raven slipped out and Octavia looked at her weird.   
”Why do we care about what she thinks about this?” She wondered.   
”Shit…” Raven looked at Clarke with an apologetic face. ”Sorry”   
”Excuse me?” Octavia looked at both off them knowing they where hiding something. ”What are you guys not telling me?”   
”Me and Lexa…” Clarke had to tell her, it’s not that she wanted to hide things for her but the more people that knew the higher chances off it to spread. ”We are secretly dating” Clarke saw Octavia gasp so she rushed her next sentence. ”I know I should’ve told you, I wanted too but we both decided to keep it on the low…Raven found out because well she’s Raven”   
”No one can hide shit from me” Raven smirked.   
”Oh my god?” Octavia had to stand up to take the news in. ”How could I not see it? It’s so freaking obvious now that you say it”   
”Please don’t tell anyone, we will eventually. It’s because off the campaign, we don’t want do let our relationship take all the attention”   
”Strange but…no of course” Octavia assured her.   
”And Bellamy doesn’t know” Raven looked at Octavia and she tried to gather everything she just heard.   
”Shit…I know you don’t want to hurt him Clarke…just go easy on him okay?” Octavia asked her.   
”I don’t trust me…” Clarke sighed at the tricky situation, she had no idea how she would handle this without telling the truth about Lexa.   
”And…I will talk to him too” Octavia nodded. ”He can’t keep ignoring you but I know my brother, he will need his space to calm down and then he will come around”   
”I hope so” Clarke understood, she would probably need some time if it was the other way around.   
”Well…now that Octavia knows…” Raven smiled. ”You have to tell us about Lexa, we have no idea about your secret relationship, spill the tea”   
”Okay” Clarke smiled at the thought off the brunette and she had wanted to talk about her with her friends for so long. ”She just makes me so happy…” Clarke started and then they dived deep in a conversation about Lexa and also her friends relationships. It felt like it had been a while since they all just talked and it was nice to catch up with their lives. 

She had missed her friends. 

***

Lexa closed her locker and corrected her jacket after throwing her bag over the shoulder, she was ready too leave the school and spend some time with Clarke. The last week they had both been a bit busy and she missed her. 

They had decided over text to meet at the parking lot so she slowly made her way over to her car, Clarke’s class hadn’t even finished yet so she wasn’t in any rush.   
”Hey Lexa” Someone yelled and she turned around just as she reached her car to see Ashley run towards her.  
”Hey Ash” She was a bit surprised. ”What’s up?”   
”I wanted to ask if you’re coming to the first game on Friday?” Ashley had her blonde hair in a pony tail and was dressed in her cheerleader outfit, Lexa wondered if it wasn’t a bit cold outside for that.   
”Of course” Lexa nodded. ”Have I missed a game yet?” She asked.   
”No, you’re really supportive" Ashley smiled a bit to long and Lexa finally saw that she might be trying to flirt with her.  
”Thank you, the team is doing great this year” She tried to change the subject.   
”Me and the girls have a little surprise for you on Friday” Ashley smiled wider, ready to see Lexa’s reaction.  
”Oh…what now?” Lexa took a step back as Ashley was getting closer without seeming rude.   
”It’s a new cheering song and we where thinking that you maybe wanted to introduce us this time?”   
”Introduce?” Lexa wondered.   
”I’ve seen that Clarke is a bit a head off you so we need to work harder Lexa, say something great like you always do and we will do the rest” She winked, even if she might be a suck up it actually wasn’t such a terrible idea.   
”Okay” Lexa nodded. ”Thank you” She smiled back now.   
”See you on Thursday for a quick rehearsal” Ashley cheered up now that Lexa was in on it. ”But you can’t stay for practice, we want that to be a surprise”   
”You know I love cheer practice” Lexa slipped out and she swore to herself, sometimes she hated that she flirted with basically any girl she found attractive. She hadn’t been doing it since she and Clarke got serious but this had been a part off her personality for so long that it was a hard habit to shake.   
”You’re welcome any other time” Ashley chuckled. ”See you Thursday” She smiled before skipping away.   
”And what happens Thursday?” Lexa turned around and saw Clarke starring at her with crossed arms, shit how long had she been there? Did she hear her stupid comment?   
”Ashley is helping me with the campaign” Lexa said as she waited for the blondes reaction.   
”Of course she is” Clarke shook her head. ”Can we go somewhere where I can hug you?” Clarke looked upset and Lexa looked at her worried.   
”Is everything alright?” She asked.   
”No…” Clarke opened the car door to her side and Lexa quickly made it over to the driving seat. ”I missed you so much this week and…I had a fight with Bellamy and he won’t talk to me”   
”I missed you too…” Lexa placed her hand over Clarke’s and she looked around in the parking spot before leaning in for a quick kiss. ”One more” Lexa had missed the touch off Clarke’s lips against hers.   
”Mom is working late, might even be a night shift so we can go to my place if you like”   
”Bummer, your mom is cool” Lexa was joking but she wasn’t lying either.   
”I am not sure if cool is the right word to describe my mom” Clarke laughed an damn, Lexa had missed the sound off that as well.   
”So babe, tell me what’s on that sweet mind off yours” Lexa was concerned.   
”I am not sure you’re going to like it…” Clarke looked at her nervous and it made Lexa more tense.   
”Okay…” She focused on the road even if she wanted to look at her girlfriend right now. ”What is it that I am not going to like?” She didn’t mean to sound so harsh but she was scared to what Clarke wanted to tell her, especially if it involved Bellamy.   
”Bellamy confessed his feelings for me” Clarke nervously said while she focused on the road as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hope you had a great weekend! 
> 
> I tried a new little twist on this chapter, adding both Clarke and Lexa's perspective and curious to see what you think about it? 
> 
> Anyway, hope you like it and as always, take care! :)


	28. Clarke's distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke can't seem to shake that Bellamy wont talk to her.

Clarke handed Lexa one off the cups she was holding as she just poured some hot chocolate in them, at the moment they where chilling in her kitchen ready to discuss what they started to talk about in the car. Clarke was about to take her first sip when she realized it would probably burn her tongue and put it on the table instead to let it cool off. 

”I am honestly not surprised but..I am more curious what you think about it?” Lexa hadn’t touch her cup either, she had been moody ever since she mentioned her argument with Bellamy.   
”I feel like it’s a shit situation, I don’t want to lose him but I am scared this will…affect our friendship” Clarke hid her face in her hands and tried to comfort her anxiety.   
”How did it make you feel?” Lexa fixed her ponytail and she studied the blonde with serious eyes.   
”Confused I guess”   
”Did it make you re-think your relationship?” Lexa placed her shoulder on the table and let her head rest in her hand as she kept her gaze on Clarke.   
”It made me think about it - but not in that way…more to understand where this is coming from. I have known him for years and I just thought it was out off the picture”   
”Now that it isn’t - ”  
”Hey” Clarke cut her off and stood up, she went around the table to put her arms around Lexa.   
”Clarke” Lexa rolled her name out as she breathed out, she was annoyed and the blonde noticed.   
”Whatever is going on in your mind right now, stop. I do not have feelings for Bellamy, let me repeat - I do not have feelings for him.”   
”Fine…” Lexa let her hand caress Clarke’s arm in a way to hug her back sitting down.   
”He asked about us” Clarke sighed. ”I think he knows”   
”How?” Lexa wondered, they had been discreet around their friends who didn’t know yet.   
”Apparently you look at me in a way” Clarke smiled, that part was actually cute even if she couldn’t admit it with Bellamy.   
”Eyes don’t lie I guess” Lexa smiled as well, somehow she liked the idea off him knowing.   
”I think I need to tell him though but I wanted to talk to you about it first”   
”Why though” Lexa wined.   
”Because he has feelings for me and I need to let him know I have feelings for someone else…plus I felt terrible lying to him, I never lie to Bell”   
”If it puts an end too it, I guess it’s fine…but you do realize a lot off people knows about us now” Lexa told her.   
”I wish I could tell the world” Clarke placed a soft kiss on Lexa’s cheek. ”I want people to know your mine”   
”I am yours” Lexa tilted her head so that she could steal an actual kiss.   
”We just have to keep up with our secrets for a little longer” Clarke sighed.   
”Apparently we aren’t to good at hiding babe” Lexa chuckled.   
”Good thing we don’t have to hide here…” Clarke smirked and Lexa could read her mind and immediately stood up before she was dragged into Clarke’s bedroom. 

*** 

Lexa finished her little speech she had prepared for the Friday game, she had honestly forgotten about it before Ashley reminded her this morning when she got to school. It was Thursday and they where suppose to practice whatever was going on. 

She rushed it honestly but to be fair this was not a part off her campaign and she was just doing it to get some extra credits and hopefully votes. People was gonna be there to enjoy the game so she was gonna make it cheerful and quick. 

”So I’m gonna go to they gym real quick but did you want to hang out after?” Lexa mumbled to Clarke as they where hanging in the library but the blonde didn’t react. ”Clarke?” She looked at her now and raised her voice to get her attention.   
”What?” She looked clueless and looked at her confused.   
”What’s going on, you have been off all day?”   
”Sorry…” Clarke sighed as she was tapping her pen up and down on the table like she was stressed. ”It’s just…I can’t stop thinking about Bellamy”   
”Oh, exactly what I wanted to hear” Lexa rolled her eyes.   
”You know what I mean” Clarke glared at her. ”He’s still avoiding me and it’s killing me”   
”I get that it’s hard Clarke but obviously he needs some space” Lexa wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation…again. Her girlfriend had been going on about this all week.   
”I just can’t believe he won’t just talk to me so we can sort this out” Clarke crossed her arms, this was really bugging her.   
”He will come around when he’s ready, so I will repeat myself. Did you want to hang out later or not?” Lexa was getting annoyed but even more so when she figured Clarke wasn’t listening again.  
”Huh?” Clarke breathed as she reached for her phone.   
”You know it would be nice” Lexa raised her voice a little. ”If my girlfriend could at least listen to me when she asks for advice or I don’t know, answer me? Listen to me?” Lexa stood up and started packing her stuff she had used to write the speech, it wasn’t much so it didn’t take long.   
”Hey…where are you going? I am sorry babe?” Clarke looked at her now and Lexa just shook her head.   
”I don’t think you need me here right now and I gotta run, like I told you but I guess you didn’t hear that” Lexa put her bag on her shoulder, hoping Clarke would snap out off her daydreaming but it seemed hopeless.   
”I’m sorry Lexa” Clarke sighed. ”I am a little distracted I know”   
”Not just a little” Lexa complained before she turned her heel and left the library, she didn’t like being ignored. 

Lexa walked over to the gym where loud music was playing, she opened the huge doors and smiled as she saw all the cheerleaders jumping around - or dancing? She wasn’t sure but this was a great distraction to forget about Clarke for a while. 

”LEXA” Ashley spotted her and smiled big.   
”Looking great girls” Lexa complimented them.   
”You too” Ashley realized her slip-out but Lexa smiled and thanked her, at least she got attention from someone today. Perhaps it wasn’t ideal but she couldn’t help it right now.   
”So what’s the plan?” She changed the subject.  
”So we will do our number and once we are done we will introduce you and you will enter the stage, we where thinking that we could add some cool entrance for you” Ashley started rambling. ”Me and the girls will be standing back to back on a line and you will start from the back, we will take a step backwards each and make space for you to walk between us until you reach the front where the mic will be standing”   
”Hold on…” Lexa tried to get the idea in her head. ”I think I got it…okay sounds cool”   
”So we can practice the last scene and add that in?” Ashley suggested.   
”Okay” Lexa nodded.   
”Perfect!” Ashley smiled again. ”Okay girls, get in your spots and I will count too three” 

***

Friday came sooner than expected and Lexa was already having lunch with her friends, today she was joined by her sister, Raven and Clarke.   
”What do you say?” Raven was chewing with her mouth opened and looked over at Clarke.   
”Yeah” Clarke was lost in her mind today as well.   
”I asked if we should go their place after the game or if we should join the party?” Raven was confused by the answer she got.   
”Oh…I’m not sure Bellamy wants me at the party” Clarke frowned.   
”He might not talk to you but he won’t force you to leave” Raven shook her head.  
”Have he said anything to you?” Clarke sat up straighter, apparently the only thing she cared about right now was Bellamy.   
”No…I think he’s avoiding all off us right now”   
”So what do you say? We could have a chill evening at our house?” Lexa looked at Clarke.   
”But wasn’t Octavia supposed to talk to him?” Clarke wasn’t done with her conversation with Raven.   
”Alright I don’t exist, got it” Lexa said ironically and rolled her eyes.   
”I would tell you if I knew anything but I don’t” Raven assured her.   
”Fine, I know I know…” Clarke gave up. ”Sorry babe, what did you say?” She looked over at Lexa who wasn’t to pleased about the situation.   
”Never mind”   
”The party or our place?” Anya repeated the question.   
”It doesn’t matter honestly” Clarke told them. ”What do you guys feel like?”  
”I wouldn’t mind to stay home” Lexa shrugged.   
”Yeah” Raven agreed.   
”But maybe I will run into Bell at the party and he has to talk to me” Clarke said like it was the best idea ever.   
”God make up your mind woman” Raven chuckled but Lexa didn’t find it that amusing.   
”You’re obsessed with this…” She shook her head. ”I don’t feel like going to a party where you run after Bell, I can barely get you to look at me now” That caught the blondes attention.   
”Hey” Clarke was about to reach for her hand but remembered they where in the cafeteria and sadly moved it back again. ”Fuck I am doing it again…a night in with you will be amazing” She tried a smile but Lexa wasn’t convinced.   
”You won’t shut up about this until the two off you talk”   
”I just want to make sure he’s alright” Clarke sighed. ”And if we go…we can make sure to make the rumors about us stop”   
”You know I don’t care about that anymore” Lexa shook her head.   
”No, actually I didn’t know that?” Clarke questioned her.   
”Ouch…” Anya added and Raven pushed her gently to make her shut up, this was not the time.   
”What are we even hiding from?” Lexa scoffed. ”It’s not like we are in a homophobic school, it would blow up for a week and then it would be old like everything in high school.”   
”We both agreed on this?” Clarke wasn’t following, this was coming from nowhere. ”So they focus on the - ”  
”Campaign” Lexa cut her off. ”Yes I know, okay fine whatever” She gave up. ”Let’s keep hiding and I will do better trying to act single”   
”Lexa…” Clarke looked at her. ”You know that’s not what I mean”   
”No you’re right, Bellamy noticed so perhaps other people will. Let’s not take any chances”   
”We can talk about this later” Clarke stated.   
”Oh, I was hoping we could talk about Bellamy” Lexa was sarcastic.   
”God…” It was Clarke’s turn to roll her eyes.   
”You know what, I am out of here” Lexa hadn’t finished her lunch but she had lost her appetite.   
”Don’t go Lex?” Anya tried but it was useless.   
”Aren’t you gonna go after her?” Raven asked Clarke.   
”She needs to cool down” Clarke shook her head. ”I know I have too at least” 

***

After lunch Lexa was in a mood, why couldn’t Clarke understand where she was coming from? What if she was constantly talking about someone else that had feelings for her? It’s not really the topic you bring up at every conversation. She knew Clarke was upset about Bellamy and she did sympathize but now it was getting ridiculous. If Bell wanted some space why didn’t she just respect that? 

She was happy to have the speech too occupy her mind with, she was a chilling with the squad at the moment because in a few minutes it was their turn to take the stage. Practice yesterday had actually been fun and they had all liked her speech. 

”Girls, put your best smile on and forget all the drama you have in your life!” Ashley looked at them and they all cheered her on. ”We are gonna go out there and we are gonna make the audience feel great, they are gonna feel our happiness when we cheer”   
”YES!” They clapped their hands and Lexa smiled at Ashley.  
”You’re really good at this you know?”   
”Thank you…see you soon” Ashley back and gave her a wink before the girls run out, Lexa could hear the crowd go wild at the sight off them. 

She did as they prepared and was waiting at her planned spot, she had a great view off the performance over there and she couldn’t help but flush a little when they started cheering her on. The cheerleading really had her back and to her surprise the audience learned the word quick (by some guidance from Ashley) and started cheering her on. 

As the song was starting to come to an end the girls was starting to line up in front off her, she was not visible to the crowd yet and step by step the girls made space for her until she reached the front and people started cheering loud when they saw her. 

”CHEERLEADERS? GIVE THEM SOME LOVE” Lexa yelled in the mic and there was shouting and whistles filling the air. ”Thank you girls!” She looked back and smiled at them. ”I honestly just wanted to remind you that the voting has started” Lexa glanced over the audience and spotted Clarke sitting between Raven and Octavia, was she honestly on her phone right now?. ”If you want a caring, loving and supportive president she’s standing right here, any questions you have - I am here to answer them.” They stared applauding. ”I know you’re here for soccer so I won’t take long, just remember that if you want to vote for yourself - VOTE FOR LEXA!” She yelled the last part. ”GO ARKADIA!!” She finished and that made the crowd go wild again.   
”Hooooold up” Ashley stole the mic from her and Lexa looked at her confused, they had not practiced this.  
”Alright” Lexa had no clue and she looked back at Clarke again who was still on her phone, really?   
”I know it’s early but I didn’t wanna lose my chance” Ashley shyly smiled. ”Girls will you help me out?” Music started playing and the girls started moving around and Lexa looked at them more confused than before, Ashley did mention a surprise. The girls started rolling out a big poster and confetti was showing up from somewhere, people started screaming loud and Clarke was finally looking at the chaos going on down here. The poster was saying ”WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?”   
”So…” Ashley was nervous but still had a smile on her face.   
”Wow” Lexa was indeed surprised, but her going with the cheerleaders captain would probably gain her some more votes…plus it would end all rumors about her and Clarke dating. That’s not what she wanted but she was upset with Clarke right now, she looked up and locked eyes with ocean blue who stared at her freaked out.   
”YES” Lexa smiled into the mic as she kept looking at Clarke, she didn’t seem to like it at all. 

Maybe she finally caught her attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I hope you like the new chapter! :) 
> 
> Wish you all the best!


	29. The garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a nice day to work in the garden.

”YES” Lexa smiled towards Clarke and she couldn’t believe what just happened, she had been a bit occupied - she knew that but as soon as she heard Ashley speak again Clarke was brought back to reality. 

Ashley had asked her to prom and Lexa had said yes. 

She noticed that Lexa was angry with her, she could see it in green eyes that was attacking her soul right now. Clarke knew she had been distant lately and Lexa had to suffer from it - or did she knew that? Clarke had to reflect over the week and realized she hadn’t given her girlfriend that much attention. 

Still, agreeing to going to prom with Ashley in front of the whole school? How the hell was she’s suppose to be okay with that? She noticed how the brunette made her way from the field so Clarke stood up, ready to go after her. 

”Clarke?” Raven grabbed her arm. ”Where are you going?”   
”Did you just see what happened?” Clarke asked her frustrated.  
”I’m surprised you did” Raven scoffed. ”She finally got your attention”   
”I don’t need you to argue with me right now” She was upset already.   
”Come on, this is just like you. You say you’re sorry and then you do the same bullshit again. I don’t want to be mean but you kind off deserved this”   
”Raven” Octavia looked at her. ”Come on, that’s a bit harsh”   
”What’s your problem with me?” Clarke crossed her arms. ”Damn, every time you get the chance you yell at me”   
”The problem isn’t making amends Clarke, the problem is that every time you do something horrible you say you’re sorry…” Raven took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. ”And then you do it again” Raven waited for an reply but Clarke was pretty speechless at the moment. ”You have been going on about Bellamy all week, nothing else has mattered to you. Did you even know Lexa’s mom is up and going? That she’s feeling better?”   
”What…?” Clarke swallowed, she had no idea.   
”Of course you didn’t, while you been busy thinking about Bell Lexa has been helping her mom, it’s not perfect but that you don’t even know about this should ring a warning bell”   
”Raven” Clarke shook her head. ”I have to go”   
”We can talk later” Raven glared at her.   
”You know what?” Clarke grumped. ”I rather not” 

She left their seatings knowing she just had a big fight with her best friend, she was not on a roll right now and she had upset three people she cared about. Clarke just couldn’t understand why Raven always got so angry with her, she liked that the Latina was honest but sometimes she got involved in things she shouldn’t. Or - instead off yelling at her Raven could’ve advised her. 

Clarke had to deal with that later, now she wanted to find Lexa and the brunette wasn’t watching the game right now. She had seen her just a few moments ago so maybe she had gotten back to the changing rooms. 

It was smelly in there, like someone had left a bag filled with sweaty clothes and forgotten about them but Lexa was sitting on a bench in there. 

”Lexa?” Clarke announced her presence and the brunette looked up.   
”Took you longer than I expected” Lexa was angry.   
”I had an argument with Raven…” Clarke sighed.   
”You seem to argue with a lot off people” Her girlfriend rolled her eyes.   
”I know that you’re mad at me but what the fuck was that?” Clarke wasn’t happy either. ”Prom?”  
”You wanted us to be a secret, bet no one suspects us now”   
”This is not what I meant…” Clarke sat down next to her.   
”What did you mean then? Maybe you wanted people to believe you where dating Bellamy, going after him at the party? Huh?” Lexa spitted through her teeth. ”I don’t like being your second choice, or third? Or forth? I don’t even know anymore”   
”I had a bad week but that’s not fair” Clarke shook her head.   
”No you didn’t have a bad week, you choose to make it bad instead of listening to any of our advice” Lexa turned to look at her.   
”I hate that I can’t do anything about this” Clarke admitted. ”It’s frustrating…I…”   
”You can’t control how other people feel” Lexa cut her off. ”But you can control your actions and this week showed a whole new side off you”   
”Lexa, I am sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt you, honestly I was to blind to notice this even affected you badly”   
”Do you hear yourself?”   
”I realize how bad it sounds but I guess I thought we where strong together”   
”You mean take me for granted?”   
”That’s not what I mean…” Clarke felt defeated, she had really hurt Lexa’s feelings and she wasn’t sure how to handle this. She never wanted to hurt her. ”Please…” Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s thigh and the brunette got stiffed.   
”I just don’t think you understand what you did wrong…” Lexa stood up.   
”Don’t go” Clarke begged.   
”I’m going home” Lexa was firm but it reminded Clarke about her mom.  
”I heard you mom was getting better?”   
”Don’t” It seemed like that got Lexa even more angrier. ”Fuck you Clarke”  
”LEXA!” Clarke yelled after her as the brunette was storming out but it was pointless, her girlfriend was quick to leave the scene and Clarke could feel herself break. She didn’t want to go out there and make a scene and she had to cover her mouth to not cry out loud. 

***

It was Saturday and it was sunny outside, seemed like the perfect day off to do something great but Lexa was still in a bad mood after her argument with Clarke. She still hadn’t changed from her pajamas and had ignored checking her phone all morning. 

Lexa knew she couldn’t avoid it forever and decided to check her missed calls and texts from Clarke. 

Clarke Griffin: Lexa, can we please talk?   
Clarke Griffin: I feel so bad, please. I’m sorry. 

That was just a few off the messages that she had left but Lexa was bored of hearing her say sorry all the time. Damn, Clarke could be so stubborn sometimes. 

Lexa Woods: I don’t feel like talking to you right now, I’ll call you later. 

Hopefully she would leave her alone for a little bit, she needed her space but Clarke wasn’t the best at giving people space. 

She decided to go see if her mother was awake, something incredible had happened this week. Lexa had been on her way to school when she had overheard some sounds coming from the room her mom was living in at the moment. She had gently knocked on the door and seen her standing by the window, watching out on their backyard. 

”Mom?” She had gently whispered into the room and her mother had turned around with a shy smile on her face.   
”Lexa” Her voice had been a bit raspy but it had been beautiful to hear it again. 

Ever since that day it had been new changes everyday, her mother had showered, left the room, starting to make small conversations and really tried to make an effort. Maybe didn’t sound much to someone else but it was huge for her mother. 

As usual Lexa knocked on the door before entering her moms room but she was glad to see that she was awake.   
”Good morning” Lexa carefully sat down next to her on the bed. ”How are you feeling?”   
”My baby” Her mother looked at her. ”Should we have breakfast in the garden?”   
”Yes” Lexa maybe said a little to exited but she was usual the one to suggest things, she never wanted to push her mom and it seemed to help.   
”Come on then” Her mother stood up and reached for her hand and Lexa followed her down to the kitchen.  
”Hi mom” Anya was sitting in there and gave Lexa a confused face.  
”We where thinking breakfast outside” Lexa informed her.   
”Sounds lovely” Anya nodded.   
”Becca?” Their dad entered the room and was surprised as well to hear all the voices from the kitchen.   
”Pancakes?” Her mom suggested.   
”Yeah” Anya smiled at her as she stood up and started to prepare all the things they needed to make pancakes. 

It was weird, all off them making breakfast together - they probably hadn’t spent time with each other for months, at least not at the same time. She liked that none off them tried to make a big deal out off it, they just enjoyed the moment. 

As they sat down in the garden and started to eat their breakfast her mom suddenly got a sad smile on her face.  
”What happened to my garden?” She looked around devastated.  
”Our gardener has been taking care off it” Her dad replied, a bit stressed about the sudden change off mood in Becca.   
”My poor flowers”   
”Maybe we can take care off them?” Anya smiled at her as she spoke calmly.   
”That’s a great idea sweety, I can teach the two off you how to actually take care off a garden”   
”Sounds great” Lexa nodded.   
”Come on” Their mother stood up and the rest off the family looked at her confused.   
”Maybe we can eat first?” Their dad said.   
”Oh…I forgot about that” Becca laughed nervously. ”Of course” It’s like she was ashamed.   
”Sit down love” Her dad smiled. ”Girls, maybe you can talk about what’s going on in your life?”   
”Yeah…at school - ” Lexa started.  
”Lexa…” Her dad interrupted her. ”Maybe you can talk about how Luna is back?” Her dad didn’t want her to talk about school and she felt her heart skip a beat, she could never impress him.  
”Oh mom, did you know I have a girlfriend?” Anya changed the subject and Lexa thanked her sister in silence. 

***

Clarke looked at her phone again, Lexa had answered that she would call her later - when was later? It’s been hours now and she couldn’t focus on anything else right now. She needed to talk to her, she didn’t like how they ended things. 

The front door crack open caught her attention and she could hear her mom entering the apartment.   
”Mom?” Clarke yelled and left her room to greet her.   
”Hi love” Abby took off her clothes and placed her shoes to the side so they wouldn’t be in the way.   
”How was work?” She asked.   
”Stressful like always, but nothing too chaotic” Her mother sighed, she looked tired. ”What are you doing home on a Saturday?”   
”I - ” Clarke had to breath in a few times because she could feel herself getting teary.   
”Clarke?” Her mother noticed immediately and got worried.   
”I messed up mom…” Clarke cried out and her mother pulled her into a hug.   
”Oh sweetie” Abby caressed her back.   
”Everyone is angry with me…I can’t do anything right”   
”Come on” Abby dragged them into the living room and they sat down in the couch. ”Talk to me, whats going on?”   
”I don’t know where to start…” Clarke gathered herself, it would feel great to talk to her mom, she could tell her everything but that meant that she had to start with telling her about Lexa, so she did. She told her all about their story leading up to this moment while her mother listened to every word she said. ”And then…from out of nowhere Bellamy said he had feelings for me and it sort off took me off guard. I told him I wasn’t interested, that I didn’t have feelings for him and he got upset. I get it’s not what you want to hear when you confess your feelings for someone but he just completely ignored me. Like I don’t exist to him anymore…” Clarke sighed.   
”So that’s why you’re upset?” Her mother wondered, trying to take everything in.   
”That’s a part off it…I couldn’t shake him off my mind, I mean I known him for years and suddenly he shuts me out, it’s killing me - but I was stupid enough to shut Lexa out at the same time. I was stupid enough to not even realize it and she’s really upset with me…” Clarke sighed. ”And then Raven yelled at me too and I told her I didn’t wanna talk to her”   
”Oh Clarke…” Her mother shook her head. ”That was not really nice what you did towards Lexa, she was trying to be there for you but you didn’t appreciate that. I can see why she got upset…”   
”I know I fucked up”   
”The problem is that you have to start seeing what’s around you rather than focus on what you can’t do anything about. Even if I know you care so much about your friends…Bellamy is hurt right now and you need to accept that, give hime time and process this.”   
”Everyone keeps telling me I’m the problem” Clarke sighed.   
”I’m just saying I understand where they are coming from…but you know that you and Raven will be friends in no time, Bellamy will come around and…just talk to Lexa”   
”She said she would call me later, I’m still waiting”   
”If you can spam Bellamy for a week, you can do the same for her”   
”Fuck…you’re right” Clarke swore to herself. ”Can you give me a ride?” She stood up.  
”Where?” Her mom looked at her confused.   
”I’m gonna go see her, she needs to know how much I care about her”   
”Okay” Her mother rushed after her. 

It didn’t take long until they parked on the familiar street, Clarke wanted to walk the last part to gather herself a little bit. She wasn’t nervous but she was scared that Lexa would reject her - tell her to go away or…she didn’t want to think about all the horrible things that could happen. 

She reached the front door, she still wasn’t used to this huge mansion - sometimes she forgot how filthy rich Lexa’s family was. Clarke rang the door bell and it took a few minutes before she finally could hear the door unlock. 

”Hello?” An unfamiliar face opened the door, it was an middle-aged woman and Clarke wondered if it was Lexa’s mom.   
”Hi..” Clarke actually got nervous now. ”I’m looking for Lexa”   
”Oh..” The woman smiled now. ”I’m Becca, Lexa’s mom. Nice to meet you!”   
”I’m Clarke” She shook her hand and she understood where Lexa’s beauty came from, her mother was beautiful even if she looked a bit tired. Wasn’t strange with everything she had been through.   
”What are you doing here?” Lexa spotted her from the hallway, she didn’t look happy to see her.   
”Don’t be so rude Lex” Her mother hushed her daughter.   
”I can come back later” Clarke suggested.   
”Nonsense” Becca shook her head. ”We are gonna make the garden beautiful we need all the hands we can get” She sounded excited and Clarke carefully looked at Lexa who sighed before she nodded towards her.   
”Sounds fun” Clarke smiled at Becca.   
”This is the Clarke you told me about?” Becca chuckled at Lexa. ”She’s gorgeous, you’re right”   
”Mom” Lexa wined.   
”I’ll be right back, Lexa show her the garden” She disappeared and the girls awkwardly made their way outside, Clarke was surprised to see the garden. It looked more than perfect to her.   
”What’s wrong with the garden?” Clarke tried to ease the tension.   
”What are you doing here?” Lexa didn’t answer her.   
”I needed to talk to you” Clarke pleaded.   
”If it weren’t for my mom I wouldn’t have invited you here” Lexa was still angry with her. ”Just stay here for a little while and then lie and say that you have to go home”   
”Lexa…” Clarke felt her heart ache. ”Please”   
”Please do this for me” Lexa looked at her. ”Listen to me for once” 

Clarke wasn’t sure what to say and Lexa didn’t wait for a reply, she walked away to some flowers and started digging without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Wow, what a response on the last chapter! I felt like I needed to update to show some gratitude for your interest in the fic! I love reading your comments and thoughts about their actions! 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! 
> 
> Take care!


	30. I wanted to ask you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke talks.

”Lexa be careful with the roots” Becca told her.   
”I am mom” Lexa tried to show her how perfectly careful she was.   
”Something is wrong…” Her mother sighed and looked around. ”It’s not getting better”   
”It looks great miss Woods” Clarke tried, they had been working for at least one hour out in the garden. Anya and their father had left to get some groceries while Becca had begged Clarke to stay when she had tried to leave. 

She wanted to respect Lexa, she didn’t want her here right now but when Clarke had tried to leave Becca had insisted and even Lexa had given up. 

”It doesn’t look great” Becca sounded desperate now.   
”Mom, it’s fine” Lexa realized her mother was upset and tried to calm her down.   
”It’s suppose to be perfect” She looked around in the perfectly fine garden and shook her head as she got teary. ”It’s terrible” She cried out.   
”What can I do?” Lexa tried.   
”You know what?” Becca raised her voice and stormed over to where Lexa was sitting and started destroying what she had been working on all day. ”It’s not perfect” She cried out as she walked over to some other flowers and destroyed them as well.   
”Mom” Lexa was shook.   
”No no no….” Her mother cried out again before she ran inside leaving them there completely surprised to what just happened. 

Clarke carefully studied Lexa who looked completely devastated and she decided to walk over to her, she was starring at the mess her mother just had made with the flowers she worked so hard on.   
”Hey…” Clarke crawled down next to her and used both off her hands to stop Lexa from trying to fix what was impossible.   
”I can fix this” Lexa’s voice was breaking.   
”It’s not really her” Clarke told her as she used some more strength to make Lexa stop. ”Hey hey hey…” She could feel Lexa finally give up as rested her body weight against Clarke’s.   
”What did I do wrong?” Lexa cried out and Clarke threw her arms around her to comfort the brunette.   
”Nothing” She hushed her. ”Nothing babe” She whispered as they slowly rocked back and forth.   
”Fuck…” Lexa took a deep breath and another one while Clarke kept holding her tight. ”I thought she was getting better…”   
”She’s getting better but you have to be prepared for some setbacks”   
”It’s just, overwhelming” Lexa admitted as she tilted her head to look at Clarke for a few seconds.   
”What?”   
”I’m still mad at you”   
”I’m mad at me too…I have some things I need to work on but I wanted you to know that you are my number one”   
”It doesn’t feel like that” Lexa shook her head but she was still holding onto Clarke, she wasn’t ready to let go off her.   
”I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention to you this week…I know I didn’t pay attention to nothing but fixing things between me and Bellamy even if it was pointless. I was being stubborn and selfish I see that now, I just hate the feeling off him hating me”   
”He doesn’t hate you Clarke” Lexa shook her head.   
”But you been right all along, he will come to me when he’s ready…and if he doesn’t wanna talk to that’s his choice, I can’t fix everything”   
”Can I ask you something?” Lexa let go off her grip and studied the girl in front off her while Clarke nodded in a yes. ”Why do you care so much about this? I know you’re close friends but…I mean if someone shut me out like that when I didn’t do anything wrong I wouldn’t chase after them as much as you have?”   
”I don’t know…” Clarke sighed. ”Ever since my dad passed I got obsessed with a lot off things, especially things I could fix - or win. I couldn’t prepare for my dads’s heart attack but I spent sleepless nights going over things that might have caused it…or ways I could have seen it coming”   
”Did you ever find your answers?” Lexa wondered.   
”No…So when there is something I can actually try 100% to fix - I get obsessed. I know it’s not an excuse but sometimes I get lost in my mind and it eats me alive. It’s not the first time I hurt people because off this…”   
”What do you mean?”   
”When my dad recently had passed I was pretty rough with Raven…she tried to be there for me but I was deep down trying to help my mom. She was trying to be there for me but I couldn’t focus on being sad at that time and when things finally settled for me and my mom I guess my emotions caught up with me and I took it out on her”   
”It’s not healthy avoiding your emotions” Lexa seemed to relax a little bit more.   
”Maybe I didn’t want to admit this to myself until now…I am still in so much pain after losing my dad and obsessing about things has been a self mechanism to distract myself from missing him”   
”Damn…” Lexa held Clarke tighter. ”You know I can’t be mad at you now”   
”I don’t want to use him as some pity excuse for my behavior but maybe help you understand me a little better…I’m honestly sorry”   
”What would he say if he was here right now?” Lexa asked, she knew he always gave Clarke advice. She had told her that before.   
”That my heart is in the right place but not my mind - and that the two off them need to work together”   
”That’s pretty wise”   
”He would also say that it’s okay to mess up, that I am a teenager that’s still learning - but that it’s important to actual learn from the mistakes”   
”Sounds accurate”   
”And that he feels sorry for you that has to put up with me” Clarke chuckled at the last sentence, it would really be something her dad would end a long lesson with - to make her smile and as she hoped, it made Lexa smile.   
”I think I would’ve loved your dad” Lexa kept smiling.   
”He would’ve loved you” Clarke was sure about that and she remembered they where sitting in a garden where Lexa’s mom had just destroyed and stormed out from. ”What about we…help these little flowers? I think if we work together we can manage to make them look pretty again”   
”Oh…” Lexa snapped back as well. ”You think we can save these?”   
”I think it’s a worth a try?” Clarke let go off the brunette and started digging in the mess in front off her. ”The roots aren’t damaged”   
”That’s something” Lexa nodded and started helping her. 

***

Clarke felt like she was going on an apology tour this weekend, she and Lexa had spent the Saturday together - it had been a rough day for the both off them and even if they had more problems they where at least okay. 

Yesterday they needed each other so they had put all their other bullshit to the side and gotten through the day peacefully.

Now however, she was patiently waiting for Raven in the park she had visit as a kid so many times - it was a little lake nearby they had planned to walk around and talk everything out. Clarke had texted her this morning and Raven had been quick to reply, both off them couldn’t go long without speaking. Her mom had been right about that. 

After waiting another ten minutes she could finally see the silhouette off her friend walking towards her.   
”Hey” Clarke said carefully, not sure if Raven would scream at her more.   
”Hey” Raven looked at her, up and down. ”Ready to talk now?”   
”I’m sorry but you where being really hard on me” Clarke told her.   
”I know…” Raven sighed as they started walking the familiar route around the lake, it took about forty minutes go around it.   
”Did you have a bad day or something?” Clarke wondered.  
”Maybe I don’t know…I just been on the side noticing you build your walls and disappearing, it gave me flashbacks too…” Her friend wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence but Clarke knew what she wanted to say.   
”I know I wasn’t my best self back then but I don’t feel like you can say whatever you want because off that”   
”I just care about you a lot and…even if you drive me crazy sometimes and I might get to involved in your life it’s because I don’t want you to get hurt. You’ve gone through so much and I am scared if something else happens you will…”   
”Not be able to handle it you mean?” Clarke finished her sentence.  
”I guess” Raven shrugged.   
”I’m still growing and learning everyday Raven but I’m not going anywhere…and the last thing I want to do is fighting with my best friend”   
”I hate fighting with you” Raven agreed.   
”So even if I do love your honesty…maybe be a little gentle with me?” She suggested.  
”Yeah…I’m sorry for the way I acted, it was bad even for me - but don’t worry, Octavia was pretty mad about it after you left and I got my fair deal off yelling as well”   
”I’m sorry I missed that” Clarke smiled a little now and pushed Raven gently with her arm and the Latina chuckled a little.   
”Friends?” Raven smiled at her.   
”Like you’re ever gonna get rid off me” Clarke smiled back at her. 

Her mother was absolutely right, they would be friends again in no time. 

***

The next week in school Clarke had to focus on her studies, she had been to distracted for her homework as well. Luckily she hadn’t missed much but she hated being a bit behind and used all her extra time to get on track. 

She was sitting in the hallways and reading an English book for an essay she was about to write when she spotted Lexa walking with Ashley next to her, she couldn’t help but cringe at the sight. The captain of the cheerleading team was acting like she was walking next to an celebrity and was sure to be loud so people around would notice them. 

Clarke hated being jealous but how could she not? Ashley was obviously into Lexa and her girlfriend had agreed to go to prom with her…Maybe she had been a factor to the brunette for even agreeing to that, her pushing for them to stay a secret to the school. 

Once Lexa spotted Clarke she excused herself from Ashley and casually made her way over to her.   
”Haven’t seen you without a book this week” Lexa chuckled.  
”So how’s your girlfriend?” Clarke was acting out, still upset about the sight.   
”Ohh…” Lexa wasn’t prepared for that. ”Look, you know I feel nothing for her”   
”Does she know?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.   
”I think so…” Lexa looked back at Ashley that was talking to some friends.   
”It’s prom Lexa…I thought we would…” Clarke sighed, prom was after the campaign - in her mind it would have been their ”coming out” to the world appearance.   
”I don’t know how to take it back, I said yes in front off the entire school” Lexa was aware off her mistake.   
”It kind off hurts” Clarke admitted.   
”I’m sorry…I will see if I can sort this out somehow I don’t want to upset her”   
”And what about upsetting me?” Clarke pouted.   
”I don’t want that either it’s just that…I don’t want to upset her so I lose all the votes from the squad, plus she’s a nice girl, she doesn’t need the humiliation off the whole school knowing I took back my agreeing to prom”   
”I get that…it’s just that I wanted to ask you to prom you know” Clarke looked at her nervously to see her reaction and Lexa looked a bit heartbroken.  
”Babe…” Lexa wasn’t sure what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday guys! 
> 
> I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Take care and let me know what you think in the comments, love chatting with you! :)


	31. Bellamy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy talks to Clarke again.

Clarke wiped the table after the customers who just left, it had been an calm evening at work - she enjoyed it. Today hadn’t been a great evening for an stressful and hectic night at work, school had been eating her alive lately and she was trying her best to make everything go as her plan. 

She heard the door crack open and the squeaky noise that came after, she had told her boss months ago and he had assured he would fix it. Clarke didn’t care to keep nagging about it and gave up instead even though she hated the sound every time someone entered or left. 

As an habit she turned around to greet the new guests but was surprised to see Bellamy starring at her, he didn’t say anything so she finished cleaning the table in silence. She wasn’t gonna pressure him. 

Clarke walked back to the bar and he followed her with her eyes before finally making a move again, he decided to sit in the bar.   
”Hey” He broke the silence.   
”Hey” Clarke looked at him carefully, trying to read the situation. ”How are you feeling?” She asked since he seemed to struggle to start the conversation.   
”Tired…Just been to the gym” He told her.   
”So you’re talking to me again?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, she didn’t sound angry or upset - just genially asking.   
”I’m sorry I ghosted you Clarke…I needed some space that’s all”   
”You could’ve just told me that, I hated how you ignored me” Clarke admitted. ”A simple text would’ve been nice that’s all”   
”I know…I was hurting” Bellamy carefully looked at her.   
”I’m sorry Bell” Clarke sighed as she glanced over the restaurant, no one seemed to need her right now.   
”I was on my way home when I spotted you here…” Bellamy told her. ”I guess I just wanted to let you know that you don’t need to spam me but I will need some space from us”   
”I hate that” Clarke shook her head. ”But I respect it”   
”Me too, trust me but I can’t be around you right now…you understand right?” He questioned her.   
”Fine” Clarke nodded. ”Just…” She walked around the bar and he looked at her curious before she grabbed him for a hug. ”I miss you” She whispered into the hug and Bellamy hugged her back tight. 

The familiar squeaking noise from the door forced her to look up and Lexa walked in with Anya and Raven behind her.   
”Hi” She looked at them surprised as she let go off Bellamy who turned his head as well.  
”Hey girls” He didn’t sound that happy. ”I was just about to leave”   
”It’s been a while” Raven was confused by the scene.   
”Yeah…I need to focus on my team you know. These last games are important” Bellamy told her as he stood up. ”Take care” He looked at the girls before turning around to look at Clarke, he seemed sad and she was a bit upset that he was leaving already. It felt like they wasn’t done talking but she needed to respect his wishes this time, she knew that now. 

Once he left Clarke greeted the girls with kisses on their cheeks and they walked over to one off the empty tables.   
”I didn’t know you where coming today?” Clarke asked them.  
”We wanted to surprise you” Raven smiled at her.   
”What was that all about?” Lexa wondered.   
”He told me he needed some more space” Clarke sighed a she sat down next to them, her colleges could cover for her, at least for a while.   
”Didn’t look like space to me” Lexa was talking about the hug.   
”That was my fault, I hugged him” Clarke told her.   
”Awesome..” Lexa grabbed an menu.   
”Come here” Clarke threw her arm around her and kissed her cheek gently. ”And give me a proper hello” That caught Lexa’s attention and she looked back to the blonde and leaned in for a kiss.   
”Hi” Lexa smiled into her lips.   
”I missed you” Clarke smiled back as they gazed into each others eyes.   
”Get a room” Raven chuckled.  
”So what can I get you guys?” Clarke wanted to spend time with them but she unfortunately still had to work. 

***

Lexa couldn’t help but stare when Clarke was so focused writing one her essays on her laptop, her girlfriend had been occupied with homework for a while now but she didn’t mind just spending time with her. It was something in the way her ocean blue eyes was so eager when she wrote, or how when she struggled she played with her tongue in an adorable way. 

Lexa didn’t mind, she just liked spending time with her. 

”Do you think we would’ve been together if it wasn’t for the campaigns?” Clarke suddenly asked her.  
”Umm…I mean we probably wouldn’t even talk to each other if it wasn’t because off it” Lexa thought about it.   
”You didn’t even know who I was” Clarke chuckled and remembered how hurt she had been about it.  
”That was a lie” Lexa smiled to her. ”Of course I knew who you was…I honestly didn't mean too but you just stormed up to me and honestly…I checked you out and my mind got blurry mixed with the alcohol” She laughed at the memory.   
”NO WAY” Clarke bursted out. ”I complained about to my friends for probably a week”   
”Who doesn’t know who you are?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.   
”That’s what I said” Clarke laughed as she stood up and joined Lexa in her bed, they where at her place at the moment.   
”How me first met isn’t really that romantic” Lexa shook her head as she welcomed Clarke with open arms.   
”If you think about it…I think it’s sort off sweet, enemies to lovers” Clarke cringed at her own words but she meant it.   
”I guess you’re right…anyway I’m glad I got the chance to get to know you for real”   
”Same” Clarke reached for a soft kiss.   
”And I have been thinking…” Lexa told her as she started to play with blonde hair. ”There is this spring dance coming up and what if I ask Ashley to go together on that dance instead off prom?”   
”I mean…it’s better than prom” Clarke admitted.   
”It’s a win-win I would say”   
”Do you think she will be okay with that?”   
”I think Ashley can’t say no to me” Lexa chuckled. ”If I do it nicely”   
”You mean flirty?” Clarke couldn’t help but to be jealous.   
”I’m just trying to solve this” Lexa sighed. ”I know I messed up…and of course, I want to take you to prom and not Ashley” Lexa said as she kissed her forehead.   
”I guess it’s a solution” Clarke shrugged and held the brunette tighter. ”Just no funny business” She giggled into Lexa’s neck.   
”I’m not a cheater darling” Lexa assured her and flashbacks from her flirting with Ashley crossed her mind and she had to shake them off. That had not been intentional.   
”I know” Clarke tilted her head and smiled at the brunette before she reached for her phone to see what time it was. ”Fuck, I need to get to work” She wined.   
”I don’t understand how you handle everything” Lexa was a bit worried, Clarke had been working more shifts and she knew the blonde stayed up late to do her homework. It couldn’t be healthy.   
”Not long until summer break” Clarke sighed. ”Hopefully I can take some time off work”   
”You better…I wanna take you places this summer” Lexa smiled.   
”I really wanna go places with you” Clarke smiled back before she grabbed Lexa’s neck to pull her closer for a kiss.  
”Do you really have to go” Lexa could feel the tension building up.   
”I wish I didn’t” Clarke pouted.   
”I know” Lexa caressed her cheek. ”Let me give you a ride and you can stay for another 10 minutes” She suggested.  
”Let’s not waste them then” Clarke smirked before leaning in for another kiss. 

***

Clarke walked down the hallways in school and tried to ignore all the posters off her covering the walls, also the screens showing the votes. She was starting to feel stressed and a lot of pressure, she might be pushing herself a bit too hard but she had too. 

Her dads lawyer had called her mother a week ago or so and informed them that it would probably take longer than they had expected. Like it hadn’t already? Abby had been down all evening after that call and Clarke could tell that she was getting tired. All the extra shifts, long night and lack off sleep - she knew how her mother felt because she felt the same. 

They where struggling but they didn’t admit it, they needed to be strong for each other. Clarke wish there was something more she could to for her mom though, she had given up so much for her daughter to get the education she wanted. 

Clarke couldn’t fail her - and therefore she worked harder than she had ever done before. All the extra shifts weren’t just for them to get around. She wanted to surprise her mom with a spa day, maybe it wasn’t much and her mother did deserve the world - but at least it was something. 

She sighed as she reached her locker to change her books, if only her dad was here. Jake used to have the answers for everything. Clarke grabbed her math book when she spotted Bellamy walking towards her, he was lost in his phone and she knew she was suppose to give him space but she couldn’t help it. She slammed her locker and walked up to him.

”Hey” Clarke made him stop walking and he looked up from his phone.   
”Hey” He didn’t seem so happy to see her.   
”I know I should give you space but I just…not sure if we finished our talk at the restaurant”   
”I’m not sure if there is anything else to say?” Bellamy wondered, he was calm.   
”How about I talk?” Clarke asked.   
”Okay?” He seemed curious.   
”I just…Our friendship means the world to me and I miss you so freaking much Bellamy. I know that I hurt you but you must know that’s the last thing I wanted to do?”   
”I know that Clarke…” He sighed. ”And I honestly miss you too”   
”Yeah?” Clarke got excited by his words.   
”Yeah, of course” He said like it was obvious.   
”Do you think we can ever get back to normal?” It was a risky question but she was dying to know the answer.   
”I don’t know…” He sighed.   
”What can I do?” Clarke was desperate.   
”I might have an idea but you might not like it” He looked at her carefully.   
”Umm…”  
”It’s not that bad!” He rushed.   
”Okay…what is it?”   
”I know you may not feel the same for me but there is just something I can’t shake”   
”What is?”   
”We never tried Clarke..and - before you stop me. I know you don’t feel the same thing but what if umm…” He seemed nervous.   
”I’ll do anything” Clarke said but realized that no she probably wouldn’t.   
”The dance, spring dance…” He looked at the poster on the wall. ”Be my date to the dance and if you don’t feel anything after that, at least I knew we tried. I think it will be easier to move on from that”   
”Bell…” Clarke sighed. ”I’m not sure if that’s a good idea”   
”Think about it, you’re going with the team captain from the soccer team - I will gain you some votes and after what happened on the last game with Ashley and Lexa” Clarke cringed at the memory but let him continue talking. ”You need a little help as well, you get something you need and I get what I need”   
”I don’t think that’s the same thing…we’re talking about your feelings here, not some votes”   
”If you don’t want too I can’t force you…but then again - I will need to ask for some space like you promised”   
”I’m thinking about your feelings Bell” Clarke told him.  
”That’s okay…take care Clarke” He gave her a short smile before he started walking away and the blonde swore for herself.  
”WAIT” She yelled after him. ”Fine, let’s go the dance”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Hehe, a bit scared to post this chapter to see your reaction.
> 
> You dear author has a weak heart for angst, please forgive me haha! 
> 
> Hope you like it and take care!


	32. It's over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa has a disagreement

”NO!” Lexa was pacing back and forth. ”Fuck Clarke, what the fuck?”   
”I just don’t want him to ignore me” Clarke had never seen Lexa this upset.   
”What if you stop thinking about yourself for a second and maybe try to remember that you have a girlfriend?!”   
”You know it’s not like that…”  
”It’s not like that with me and Ashley but Bellamy actually has a thing for you” Lexa bursted out.  
”Like Ashley has a thing for you?!” Clarke spitted back.   
”You know that’s not the same thing Clarke?” Lexa rolled her eyes. ”I’m so fucking tired off your bullshit” 

They where currently behind locked doors in one off the many bathrooms at school, Clarke knew she had to tell Lexa immediately but she wasn’t ready for this reaction. 

”Then tell me what to do here” Clarke breathed out. ”Everything I do is wrong”   
”Why do people always have to tell you whats right or wrong?” Lexa crossed her arms. ”Use your brain for once and stop being so selfish”   
”I just don’t want to lose my friend” Clarke tried.   
”No…fine do whatever you want” Lexa shook her head. ”But you’re losing me”   
”What?” Clarke looked up scared at the words.   
”I can’t do this, it’s too complicated”   
”It’s not” She tried.  
”And I think you need to figure some shit out…”   
”Lexa please…” Clarke walked closer. ”I won’t go to the dance with him, I don’t want to lose you”   
”I don’t like being taken for granted, I don’t care if you go to the dance with him or not. It’s how you’re always thinking about yourself first…Even with Bellamy” Lexa scoffed. ”You weren’t even considering his feelings when you where lost feeling sorry about yourself because he didn’t want to talk too you”   
”I just wanted him to be okay”   
”NO” Lexa raised her voice. ”You wanted YOU to be okay, you couldn’t accept the fact that he wasn’t treating you the way he used too…leading him on like it was nothing. Then playing dumb when he confesses”   
”- I ” Clarke was speechless.   
”And that you would rather fix your relationship with him than focusing on ours” Lexa took a step back. ”I mean it Clarke, I’m tired off this - on your behavior”   
”Please…” Clarke pleaded.   
”I shouldn’t have to tell you that going to that dance with him is a bad idea, you should’ve just told him no” Lexa locked eyes with her, green filled with anger. ”You’re really hurting me right now, you do realize that?”   
”I’m sorry” Clarke took a deep breath, she fucked up again.   
”I’m tired off you being sorry” Lexa took another step back. ”We’re over”   
”Lexa” Clarke yelled behind her but the brunette slammed the door on her, she could feel her heart beating out off her chest. 

***

Clarke stared at her ceiling in her bedroom, it had been a few days since Lexa broke up with her and she wondered if she was out off tears. Lexa and her friends had been trying to tell her how selfish she had been all along but she hadn’t listened. She had apologized but never really realized she was doing something wrong. 

It was selfish, she was selfish and Raven had tried to tell her - that she does it over and over again. That Lexa had to scream it to her face for her to understand was even worse, the brunette had given her so many chances. 

She deserved this, she deserved feeling like crap. She sure as hell didn’t deserve Lexa. Clarke screwed this up, like she does with everything these days. The only thing she could control was school and work - things that didn’t involve emotions. 

It was honestly sad how blind she had been and Lexa had been right, the only thing she had cared about was herself. 

*New text messages*

Raven: What are you doing?  
Clarke: I’m home  
Raven: It’s Friday, wanna do something?   
Clarke: No  
Raven: You can’t avoid her forever  
Clarke: It hasn’t even been a week, let me suffer  
Raven: I’m coming over   
Clarke: Okay

She wasn’t to upset about the fact that her friend wanted to come over, she hated being alone with her thoughts right now. She wondered if Raven had already been on her way because it didn’t take long until she could hear the door bell through the apartment. 

”Hey” Clarke opened the door.  
”You look like a mess” Raven eyed her outfit, she was wearing her dads old sweatpants and a big T-shirt, her hair hadn’t been brushed and she knew she had a proper ”bedhead”.   
”Thanks” Clarke answered sarcastic.   
”Okay so how are you feeling?” Raven asked as took off her red jacket before following Clarke into the living room.   
”What do you think?” Clarke sighed as she sat down in the sofa.   
”I tried to warn you didn’t I?” Raven wasn’t yelling at her.   
”I’m so fucking stupid” Clarke complained. ”Lexa is the best thing to happen to me this year and I blew it”   
”Was she really the best thing then?” Raven wondered. ”I mean, if you really cared for her why did act the way you did?”   
”Of course she was…she has done so many great things for me this year and I took it for granted. Thinking I wouldn’t lose her…I thought it was picture perfect and focused on everything around me instead”   
”That’s stupid”   
”She forgave me over and over…for my stupid behavior but I didn’t change.”   
”Well…maybe being alone is what you need right now?” Raven tried. ”I mean…you haven’t been yourself in a long time and I don’t blame that but you’ve had a rough year. Maybe a relationship isn’t really what you need right now”   
”I can’t get away with everything just because off that”   
”I’m not saying that Clarke…I’m saying that you need to start healing and working on yourself and in order to do so you need to be alone”   
”Maybe you’re right”   
”And I know I’m hard on you but you I’m always here for you Clarke, you know that right?” Raven sighed as she looked at the blonde sincere.   
”I know that…I also know I haven’t been there for you either, I’m a shit friend and a shit partner”   
”A piece off shit indeed” Raven smirked and tried to ease the tension, it worked.   
”An asshole” Clarke chuckled.   
”Yes…well should we watch a movie or something?”   
”Don’t you have plans with Anya today?” She wondered, her friend usually spent time with her on the weekends.   
”She’s with Le…” Raven interrupted herself.  
”You can say her name” Clarke told her.   
”She’s with Lexa and I was thinking you might need a friend tonight” Raven finished her sentence.   
”How is she…” Clarke carefully asked.   
”She’s upset too”   
”I wish I could see her…” Clarke crawled up her body in the sofa, almost like she tried to hug herself. ”She doesn’t wanna talk to me…or see me”   
”I know…” Raven sighed. ”Let’s see a comedy and forget for a little while, okay?”  
”Okay..” Clarke agreed but she knew she couldn’t just forget about all off this - she fake laughed through the movie. 

***

Clarke washed her face with water before starring at her reflection in the mirror, the dark circles around her eyes was getting almost impossible to hide with make-up. She tried anyway and at least it looked better than nothing. 

She had been working late all week and stayed up doing homework until late - she wasn’t even sure if she had gotten any sleep some off the nights. She got dizzy standing up to quick and got lost starring at nothing during the days - it was hard to stay focused during class. 

Like usual, she took the same bus like always to school to get there early - however, today she had asked Bellamy if he could meet her and he had agreed. So she was waiting outside on the parking lot because he was driving there with his car. 

She was relieved to see that he was on time when his familiar car rolled in and parked close to her, she watched him get out and he looked a bit tired as well.

”Hi” He greeted her.   
”Hi” Clarke said back.   
”So…whats up?” He walked closer, she was sitting on a bench so he joined her there.   
”I just need to talk to you” Clarke looked at him. ”I want to be honest with you”   
”Um…okay”   
”We used to be able to talk about everything and I want to believe that we still can”   
”We can” Bellamy nodded.   
”I lied to you before…” Clarke sighed. ”When you asked about Lexa in the library”   
”Oh..” Bellamy seemed surprised by the fact. ”So you do have a thing for her?”   
”Not only a thing…we we’re dating” Clarke told him. ”But due to the president campaign we decided to keep it secret…I didn’t know how to tell you and when you confessed your feelings I didn’t know what to say”  
”I don’t know what to say” Bellamy seemed a bit confused as he looked over the parking lot.   
”It’s okay…but I need you to know that I have feelings for someone else and I only agreed to go to that dance because I don’t want to lose you as a friend”   
”Damn…” Bellamy looked at her. ”I mean, thank you for being honest but I kinda sucks”   
”I’ve been handling this situation bad, I’m sorry about that. I got scared of you not wanting to be friends anymore and I…acted selfish”   
”It’s a tricky situation I guess…I don’t have the answers for you either but…what did you mean by you guys we’re dating? You’re not anymore?”   
”She broke up with me..” Clarke sighed.   
”I’m guessing because off this?”   
”It’s a part off it…but mostly it’s just my fault. I didn’t treat her with respect”   
”Doesn’t sound like you?” Bellamy looked at her again.   
”Anyway…” Clarke didn’t wanna talk about Lexa with him. ”I just wanted you to know that…and it was stupid off me to agree to that dance”   
”I mean…we could still go?” Bellamy suggested.  
”Why?” Clarke shook her head.   
”As friends? A little push to make things go back to normal?”   
”You would be fine with that?…”   
”Yeah well, I’ve been hard on you…and I miss you…and I mean you might need a fun night after everything? I mean…I know I do?”   
”It could be fun…” Clarke thought about it. ”But just as friends” She stated again. 

”Just as friends” Bellamy smiled, but he did have something else in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I see last chapter sparked some emotions hehe, I hope you like my new chapter! 
> 
> How do you feel about their break-up? 
> 
> Take care! :)


	33. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dance doesn't end the way anyone expected it.

Lexa looked at herself in the mirror as she made some last touches with her powder to finish her make-up, she looked great. However, she wasn’t too excited about going to this dance - she hadn’t been excited about much since she broke up with Clarke. 

Honestly, it was a good decision - she was tired off Clarke being so blind with Bellamy. Damn, she was jealous off Ashley that Lexa had zero connection with. Bellamy though, that’s a completely different story, they couldn’t even be compared in her eyes. 

Clarke had known him forever and fine, Lexa could buy that he meant a lot to her but this obsession was getting to much - taking over her ex-girlfriend. Lexa had been patient with her, given her time and she had tried her best to be understanding but Clarke didn’t see that - being with someone who constantly thought about someone else (that Clarke also had sex with) was nerve wrecking. 

Lexa had done her fair wrongs in the beginning and maybe agreeing to the prom wasn’t her best moment but she didn’t like being treated like she wasn’t top priority. Was that selfish off her? To want attention from her girlfriend? 

The worst part was that she knew Clarke didn’t mean to hurt her, she had seen her big heart and how much she cared for her friends. Usually it wasn’t something bad but in Clarke’s case it wasn’t healthy. 

”Are you ready?” Anya popped her head into her room and it made Lexa snap back to reality and stop starring at herself.   
”Yes” She smiled at her sister.   
”You look gorgeous” Raven entered the room and she didn’t look bad herself either.   
”Same to you”   
”Don’t get any ideas” Anya winked at her sister and it made the three girls laugh.   
”I’m meeting Ashley at the dance so we’re good to go” Lexa informed them as she grabbed her phone from the desk.   
”Let’s have some fun!” Raven cheered. 

***

Clarke looked at the crowded dance floor, knowing exactly what she was looking for but there was no sign off her ex yet. She was sipping on some soda and was honestly bored at the moment, she would rather be at home - sleeping. 

”You look nice!” Octavia walked up to her with Lincoln and Bellamy behind her, they guys stopped to talk to some team mates.   
”So do you!” Clarke looked at her friend, she was beautiful. ”Lincoln is one lucky guy”   
”How are you holding up?”   
”I’m surviving” Clarke told her.   
”And…you’re here with Bellamy?” Octavia wondered.   
”As friends…honestly I don’t even know. I told him today that it wasn’t really a great idea and we came here separate. I just don’t want to confuse him or make him think that it’s something more than that”  
”That’s a good idea” Her friend nodded.   
”He doesn’t seem to happy about it though…” Clarke glared at him. ”He’s starting to get on my nerves, he needs to accept that I don’t want anything else”   
”He does” Octavia looked at his brother as well. ”He can be a douche sometimes”   
”I wasted so much time trying to save our friendship and in return and lost Lexa…I just -” Clarke stopped talking as she immediately spotted Lexa walking into the room with Raven and Anya behind her. She was breathtaking and everyone turned their head and looked at her - she couldn’t blame them, she was drooling as well. Her smile quickly disappeared when she noticed Ashley almost running towards her, the cheer captain kissed Lexa on her cheek and her whole body stiffed at the sight. 

”I need some air” Clarke told Octavia before she flee the scene. 

***

”You look absolutely stunning!” Ashley smiled at her.   
”You too” Lexa smiled back.   
”Everyone is looking at us” She chuckled and Lexa had indeed noticed, she had especially noticed Clarke starring at them before she rushed away. She hated that she cared.   
”Well…do you want to dance?” Lexa asked her and Ashley nodded like crazy. 

Lexa was glad about the hectic dance music that was playing loud, she didn’t have to talk too much with Ashley and they didn’t have to slow dance close to each other. Raven and Anya had joined them as well and it made it easier to make it friendly. Lincoln and Octavia was close by as well but they where more occupied with each other. 

She didn’t have a bad time though, it was actually nice to have fun for an evening and for a moment just move her body to the rhythm of the song. 

”I need something to drink” Lexa had to speak loud for Ashley to hear her. ”Want anything?”   
”I’m good” Ashley told her as she was still moving her body, not ready to stop dancing. 

***

”Are you gonna stand here all evening?” Bellamy asked Clarke as she was trying her best to hide from everyone.   
”I’m just not in the mood” She told him.   
”We could dance?” He asked.   
”I’m not in the mood, I just told you” Clarke looked at him.   
”Okay…” Bellamy leaned on the wall next to her. ”Wanna talk about it?”   
”About the fact that my ex-girlfriend is out there having fun with my friends while I’m hiding here because I’m ashamed for how things ended? Or - how I decided to go this dance with you even though I deep down knew it would hurt her? Or maybe the fact that you won’t accept that I want to work on our friendship and not see if there is any sparks between us? You see, whatever I do - I will hurt someone I care for. So Bellamy, do you really wanna talk about it?”   
”Damn…” Bellamy sighed. ”Listen, I’m sorry how things ended with the two off you..”   
”But you’re not Bellamy?” Clarke was upset. ”Instead of listening to me, you took your shot to invite me here and if I didn’t accept you would keep ignoring me, don’t you see have fucked up that is?”   
”I didn’t mean that…I just - ” Bellamy was unsure what to say. ”I didn’t mean to take advantage of the situation Clarke I just thought we could have a nice evening”   
”I can’t blame you…unfortunately I think we’re more alike than I want to admit” Clarke sighed. ”We want whatever suits us the best, ignoring who we hurt on the way to get there”   
”We’re not that bad Clarke”   
”But we are Bellamy…and I am just starting to realize it and it’s an awful awakening let me tell you that. I think that I wasted a lot of energy on someone I thought was my friend” Clarke locked eyes with him. ”But turns out that I was wrong”   
”Don’t say that, you don’t mean that…we’ve been best friends forever”   
”Exactly, so why do you want to ruin that?” Clarke spitted. ”I think you’re more upset that I turned you down - because no one turns you down - it’s getting to your head”   
”Why are you being such a bitch about this? I confessed my feelings for you and you’re acting like this?”   
”Wow, what a man you are Bellamy. Making me so eager to find that spark you talked about…I have done nothing but being honest with you…fuck you”   
”So this is it?” Bellamy shook his head.   
”I don’t want you near me right now and that space you wanted - please take it and use it, I am done chasing after you”   
”Clarke…” Bellamy tried and she could see the regret in his eyes mixed with anger.   
”No” Clarke shook her head. ”I’m done trying and I will be fine if you never wanna talk to me again because of this, because you can’t accept that I don’t feel the same way about you. Just leave me alone Bellamy”   
”We’re are you going?” He yelled after her.   
”Home” Clarke yelled back before leaving the dance and the loud music behind. 

***

Lexa had some big sips of the water she just poured herself, she was warm and the cold water running to her body felt amazing. She was a little out of breath from all the dancing and decided to sit down for a moment. 

She spotted Clarke rushing through the dance floor and wondered where she was going, she hadn’t seen her all evening. Second after she noticed Bellamy as well, he seemed upset and when he noticed her staring at him he walked towards her. Fuck. 

”Lexa” He sat down next to her, she was not pleased by it.  
”What do you want Bellamy?” She wondered.   
”Just saying hello”   
”Okay” Lexa tried to keep it casual.   
”So I heard about you and Clarke…bummer” He didn’t look upset about it, instead he was smirking about it.   
”I don’t feel like talking about Clarke with you” Lexa told him, trying to stay calm.   
”I’m sorry she chose me over you”   
”If that’s how you see it, sure”   
”It’s over between you two, you realize that right?” Bellamy was looking at her intense.   
”What are you trying to say here?” Lexa rolled her eyes. ”Don’t you think I know we broke up?”   
”That you should leave Clarke alone…she thinks being with me will hurt you”   
”What do you mean?” Lexa swallowed and had to take another sip of her water.   
”She struggled tonight, knowing you where here…and for me and Clarke to move forward you need to let her go”   
”We’re not together anymore” Lexa could feel her heart get heavier, what the hell was going on here?   
”You’re not” Bellamy agreed. ”And I think that’s best for Clarke…and we want whats best for her don’t we?”   
”If Clarke wants you, I don’t see what our problem here is?” Lexa wanted to yell but it wasn’t worth it, did her ex actually have feelings for Bellamy?   
”She does, she just told me but she was afraid to face you…do you see what I’m trying to say here?”   
”That you want me out of the picture, I got that Bellamy. Are you really that insecure?”   
”No, I’m asking you to leave Clarke alone”   
”So why did Clarke run out of here? You’re saying that’s because of me?” Lexa scoffed but she was actually in so much pain, she needed to try to laugh it of.   
”That’s exactly why…she doesn’t wanna hurt you either so I’m actually kindly asking you to respect our feelings and respect our wishes”   
”You’re really something” Lexa shook her head. ”That you have the nerve to walk up to me, telling me that I have to respect you guys? What about you respecting me?”   
”I don’t mean to offend you Lexa…We can’t help how we feel about each other”   
”Of course you can’t, well don’t fucking worry about me Bellamy. She’s all yours”   
”I’m sorry it had to end this way” Bellamy told her as she stood up.   
”You’re not sorry?” Lexa spitted through her teeth. ”Don’t ever fucking talk to me again, you hear me?”   
”So we have an agreement?” Bellamy asked her, ignoring her anger.   
”Both of you can go fuck yourselves or each other, just fucking leave me alone” Lexa swore before storming off.

Her heart was breaking into a million pieces and she was not gonna let him see that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Wanted to surprise you with another chapter today, I read all your thoughts and irritation! I'm even more scared to see your reaction after this but let's rip the bandage. 
> 
> Idk about you but I hate Bellamy after this as well.
> 
> Please take care and know that the voting will get more serious soon, who do you want to win?


	34. Do you trust her?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is still a bit confused after the dance.

Clarke finished her last sentence of her homework and breathed out in relief, it had been an hard essay to write but she was finally done. She looked up in the hallway and noticed that Bellamy was staring at her and she rolled her eyes as he casually waved at her. 

He didn’t seem to read her signal and decided to walk up towards her and she took out her headphones.   
”What?” She wined.   
”Can we talk?”   
”No” Clarke crossed her arms.   
”Look I’m sorry about the dance okay? Might had a few drinks and…”   
”Don’t blame alcohol for your behavior” Clarke interrupted him. ”Listen…I was shitty who didn't let you have your space I get that but we honestly need a break from each other. This is toxic”   
”Or we can talk it out?”   
”I tried that…now please leave” Clarke stood up.   
”Fine” Bellamy shrugged but he seemed pissed about it but she didn’t care and luckily he walked away.   
”Trouble in Paradise already?” Lexa scoffed as she walked by.   
”You know it’s not like that…” Clarke told her.   
”Whatever you say” Lexa didn’t look back and kept going.   
”Hey” Clarke raised her voice and rushed up to the brunettes speed.   
”What?” Lexa sighed as she kept walking.   
”How are you?” Clarke knew it was a stupid question but she honestly just wanted to talk to her.   
”Are you seriously asking me that?” Lexa shook her head as she reached her locker. ”Perfect Clarke, what do you think?”   
”I know we broke up but do we really need to act like this?” Clarke pleaded.   
”Why don’t you go and bother Bellamy instead? And I promise not to come between you..” Lexa slammed her locker loudly and it made some students turn their heads.  
”I wouldn’t do that to you, I’ve been honest about Bellamy..it was about our friendship”   
”Until it wasn’t” Lexa glared at her, she seemed hurt.   
”What are you talking about?” Clarke was confused, was this about the dance?   
”Clarke…” Lexa relaxed a bit. ”I can’t do this, not now at least…we can talk or whatever another time otherwise I will just get mad”   
”Okay…” Clarke didn’t wanna push her. ”Can I ask you something?”   
”I guess”   
”Did you have a good time with Ashley?” Clarke was dying to know.   
”Come on Clarke” Lexa shook her head before leaving her there confused. 

Something felt off, last time they talked Lexa hadn’t been this cold towards her - something else seemed to be on her mind and Clarke was dying to find out what it was. She did know that she wasn’t suppose to push people either, if they wanted space she was about to give them that right? Fuck, the past week started rewinding in her mind and she tried to think about as many details as possible.

The dance didn’t make much sense? She had been hiding all evening and then left early for to eat take outs with her mom instead. Lexa of course didn’t know that Clarke decided to not go with Bellamy in the end but they didn’t spend anytime together at the dance.

Was it because she hadn’t reached out the past week? Trying to talk to her…no why would that be so weird after a break up?

Something was off but Clarke couldn’t figure it out. 

She tried to be better and not get obsessed about this but how the hell do you lose a habit that quickly. Clarke tried her best to distract herself but Lexa kept sneaking up in her mind and by the end of the day she was losing it. 

Clarke Griffin: Hey, can we please talk?   
Lexa Woods: I have plans.   
Clarke Griffin: Later then?   
Lexa Woods: Maybe

Clarke sighed, she didn’t blame her ex but it was breaking her more and more knowing that Lexa didn’t want anything to do with her. She missed her so freaking much. 

***

Lexa threw her phone away and sighed, what the hell did she wanna talk about now? Was she about to tell her about Bellamy? That she changed her mind…? But why did she seem so confused earlier then at school when she pointed it out. 

”That girl is driving you crazy isn’t she?” Luna wondered, her friend had been away for a while with her parents - luckily it was not permanent this time. It was just a vacation but Luna had been away longer than she expected.   
”She is” Lexa wined. ”Fuck, I can’t get her out of my mind”   
”Is this a sign for code red?” Luna wondered.   
”No…” Lexa shrugged. ”I’m done running from my problems, no alcohol can make me forget and no girl can compete with Clarke. It’s just a fact now”   
”My Lex is growing up, proud of you” Luna tried a smile.   
”She wants to talk…” Lexa informed her.   
”Do wanna talk to her?” Luna questioned her.   
”I don’t know…I’m just tired of us hurting each other”   
”I know Clarke is very controlling but do you really think she’s with Bellamy? It honestly sounded like she wanted to get their friendship back even if it was annoying as fuck”   
”Maybe he was right after all, there was a spark there and she didn’t realize that until the dance”   
”Clarke’s crazy about you, I just understand that part…” Luna sighed. ”You get so insecure about your relationships…Why is that? I’m not trying to sound mean or anything but you’re so confident otherwise”   
”I hate being vulnerable…opening up to people, I guess it just scares me, the fact that they can decide to leave me one day. Or not love me the same”   
”I think everyone is scared of that” Luna put an arm around her friend. ”But trust is also important, without trust there is no point of even trying I would say”   
”That’s true” Lexa nodded and leaned towards her friend.   
”So…do you trust Clarke?” Luna asked her and looked at Lexa curious.   
”I do” She nodded.   
”Then talk to her…she makes you happy”   
”Lately she hasn’t…” Lexa shook her head, she missed her but that was true.   
”You’re both being selfish and immature…I don’t know if you’re trying to hurt each other or not doing it on purpose but sitting on the side line it’s pretty ridiculous seeing the two of you”   
”It’s complicated” Lexa told her.   
”You’re making it complicated, that’s different” Luna gave her a little smile.   
”I’ll talk to her” Lexa finally agreed, Luna could talk some sense in her from time to time even if she was mostly about having fun and having no cares in the world.

Clarke and her needed to talk, about a lot of things - their relationship hadn’t been as perfect as she might believed it was. She hadn’t handling everything perfect either, she didn’t like to admit that to herself. Lexa hated being wrong. 

She had texted Clarke a while later that evening after catching up with Luna for a while and preparing for their conversation. The blonde hadn’t take long to reply and Lexa had suggested she would meet her outside her apartment. 

When she parked her car she could see her ex already waiting for her, and blue eyes watched her every movement until she got close enough. 

”Hey” Clarke was shy, a bit down.   
”Hey” So was Lexa.   
”Should we take a walk here something?” She suggested even if it was a bit to cold outside for it.   
”Okay” Lexa agreed anyway.   
”I wanted to say so much but now I don’t know where to start” Clarke said in a rush.  
”About you and Bellamy?” Lexa looked at her scared about her answer.   
”About us?” Clarke was confused.   
”Don’t play dumb…he told me everything at the dance”   
”He told you what exactly?” Clarke stopped walking and looked at her. ”What did he say?” She repeated herself, seemed a bit pissed.   
”That I should back off…that you where scared what I was gonna think?” Lexa told her.   
”Think about what?” Clarke was still not getting it.   
”About you having feelings for him as well? Do I have to spell it out?”   
”He told you that?!” Clarke scoffed and Lexa was confused now.   
”Yes, he was a fucking dick about it as well”   
”I can’t fucking believe him right now….” Clarke rolled her eyes and swore to herself. ”Fucking asshole, none of that is true Lexa. I told him the exact opposite” Clarke had to laugh it off, it was absurd. ”I told him I don’t even wanna be friends with him right now and for him to leave me alone…”  
”Oh…” Lexa should’ve known Bellamy was playing with her, he had been to smirky and shady about it - but at the time it was only hurtful. ”What a fucking dick”   
”Fucking dick” Clarke agreed. ”Fuck I’m sorry he made you believe that” Clarke looked at her sincere.  
”That’s not your fault” Lexa assured her.   
”No…but a lot of other things are my fault and I hate myself for how I handled everything, you didn’t deserve that”   
”I’ve made some shitty things myself”   
”We’ve been shitty to each other” Clarke tried a little smile and Lexa couldn’t help but smile in return.   
”Mostly you though” She winked.  
”I deserved that one I guess…” Clarke smiled wider and the tension was gone, it felt easier to breath.   
”So…what’s next?” Lexa wondered.   
”I don’t think I should be in a relationship now” Clarke sighed and the giggly girl was gone, she was serious again. ”I wanna be with you and only you but I don’t think I can be that person that you need right now if that makes sense”   
”It’s shitty…but I mean we are toxic right now” Lexa nodded.   
”I just wanted to talk to you to let you know that I am truly sorry…and I figured something was wrong at school, you where acting different and now it make sense. I will deal with Bellamy later”   
”I know you’re sorry” Lexa told her.   
”Do you think we can be friends?” Clarke wondered, she looked adorable when she asked her and Lexa wanted to pull her into a hug.   
”I would like that” Lexa held back every urge in her body.   
”And we can see what happens in the future?” Clarke sounded hopeful.  
”Yeah…” Lexa tried to sound sincere but this felt more like a goodbye than when she broke up with Clarke.   
”Hey…” Clarke pulled her into a hug now and Lexa held onto the blonde like it was the last time she would see her. ”We’re gonna be okay” She whispered but Lexa just enjoyed the hug. ”What about…?” Clarke loosened her grip and grabbed Lexa’s shoulders instead. ”We go get some ice scream?”   
”What?” Lexa was not prepared for that.   
”And just talk, I wanna know everything I did that pissed you of and I will tell you mine”  
”That list can’t be long?” Lexa smirked.   
”Oh, just wait” Clarke laughed and they started walking again, there was a little ice-cream shop not for away from where the blonde lived. They had been there before - Lexa thought it was a good idea to just talk about everything. 

Even if she wasn’t sure how to just be friends with Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> A new chapter for you my friend, I hope you like this one!
> 
> Curious to see what you think! 
> 
> As always, take care!


	35. Focused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's friends are worried about her.

Lexa was just sitting in her room enjoying her mother brushing her new washed hair in silence, Becca was better. In the last month a lot had changed in their household, everything with her mom didn’t seem forced anymore or fake. 

She felt like her mom was actually coming back to her and she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. They talked a lot, slowly and carefully but her mom was really sorry about the year they lost together and for how much pain her daughters had gone through. 

It felt good talking about it, they all needed it to move on - too move forward. 

At the moment she was more worried about Clarke than her mother, she had a feeling her ex was exhausted. She had been working so hard lately, the last semester before summer break was sneaking up on all off them but it was stressing Clarke out more.

They didn’t talk much, it almost felt like they where strangers these days - it was mostly smalltalk or friendly smiles from distance. Lexa missed her but she knew this was for the best, they needed some time to think and clear their minds. 

She knew they wouldn’t be able to be friends, it was hard enough to just see her without being able to be with her, touch her, talk to her or ask about her day. There was still to many emotions involved to act like nothing happened. 

So they silently agreed that it was best to give each other space to heal, to grow. 

***

”Clarke..?” Raven grabbed the blondes shoulder and shook it a few times. ”Clarke?” She repeated.   
”Uuh?” She opened her eyes and realized she was in school, had she fell asleep?   
”Taking a nap in the library?” Raven sat down next to her. ”We we’re waiting for you at lunch and got worried”   
”Are you okay?” Octavia was there too.   
”I guess I’m just a bit sleepy” Clarke shrugged, trying to her best to feel more awake by stretching her body.  
”You’re working to hard” Octavia shook her head. ”Is there anything we can do?”   
”It’s just been a lot off school and work…It’s hectic right now” Clarke admitted.  
”You know I could…loan you some money and maybe you could take some time off work?” Raven carefully asked, it was a sensitive subject that she had tried before.   
”No” Clarke was firm. ”You know I don’t want your money”   
”You could pay me back Clarke” Raven sighed. ”I hate seeing you like this”   
”It’s nice of you but not necessary”   
”Think about it at least” Octavia tried.   
”The offer still stands if you change your mind” Raven assured her. ”We’re your friends and we wanna help you”   
”I know…thank you” Clarke looked at them, she knew her friends just wanted to help but it would feel so bad to accept that kind off money from them. Or anyone for that matter, as long as she was able to handle this alone she would. ”It’s not long until summer break”   
”You can barely keep awake now” Raven eyed her. ”You look like you haven’t slept in days Clarke…”  
”What Raven is trying to say…” Octavia looked at the Latina. ”Is that we can tell you’re exhausted and we really want to help if there is anything we can do”   
”I could use some extra help on the campaign, I need to take care of some posters and fill in some papers…” Clarke thought about it, she didn’t necessary had to be the one to complete the tasks.  
”Yes” Octavia nodded. ”Just let us know and we will take care of it”   
”Thank you guys” Clarke smiled at them, that would actually be helpful.   
****

Lexa yawned, she had just finished her first class but still felt tired. She had never been a morning person, she didn’t get them. She was jealous of them though, she wish she had all that energy and positivity when she woke up. 

”Lexa” Raven approached her, she had been used to her now - she was often at their house or by Anya’s side. They seemed to be doing better than ever.   
”Hey” She greeted her. ”Whats up?”   
”Just got here” She told her.   
”Lucky you, I have been here for one and half hour already” Lexa sighed and looked at the time.   
”I guess you get to finish the school day before me then” Raven chuckled.   
”That’s something” Lexa agreed.   
”I was actually about to ask you something…” Raven looked serious, it wasn’t a normal face for her.   
”Oh…” Lexa stopped walking and stepped a little to the side so other people could pass them.   
”Have you talked to Clarke lately?” She wondered.  
”No why?” Lexa got worried. ”We don’t really speak these days…”   
”I’m worried about her” Raven sighed. ”She won’t let me help her”   
”Help her with?” Lexa wondered.   
”She’s struggling…with work and school and…I think she’s about to break soon”   
”I don’t know what I can do to help?” Lexa knew Clarke, she was stubborn.  
”She listens to you…maybe you could try to talk to her?” Raven suggested. ”I understand if you…I mean you guys broke up but I know she still values your advises…or maybe she would at least open up to you. She’s shutting everyone out, pretending to be alright”   
”I don’t know Raven…might just annoy her” Lexa talked from experience.   
”I honestly think she learned her lessons…” Raven knew it was a sensitive conversation but she was scared for her friend and wanted to do anything she could. ”Like I said…I understand if it’s to hard…but I think she needs you right now”   
”I could try” Lexa sighed.   
”Thank you” Raven gave her a little smile. ”That’s really nice of you”   
”I still care about her” She admitted.   
”I know” Raven nodded. ”She cares about you too” 

***

Clarke wanted to slam her alarm into the wall when it started shouting early in her room, she had set it early to get some homework done that she was too tired to finish after work yesterday. 

”Fucking hell” She wined as she turned it off, she knew she had to sit up immediately or she would go back to sleep in seconds. She hadn’t have a proper sleep in days, it was sneaking up on her…she could feel her body struggling. 

She did however, complete what she woke up for and was in school on time like always - she used her time to practice for a test she would have later that day. It was harder than expected since her eye vision was a bit blurry and the words seemed to mash together from time to time, she had to re-read sentences over and over. 

”I figured I would find you here” Clarke looked up and spotted Lexa starring at her.   
”What are you doing here so early?” She wondered and the brunette slowly walked up to her to take a seat close to Clarke.   
”I was hoping to see you” Lexa answered like it wasn’t a big deal, Clarke was happy to see her but she was a bit confused.  
”Oh…are you okay?” Clarke wondered. ”Is something wrong?”   
”I’m fine” Lexa hushed her.   
”How’s your mom?” Clarke tried again.   
”She’s actually better than ever” Lexa smiled at her now, she couldn’t help but feel happy about that. ”I’m more curious about how you are feeling?”   
”I’m fine?” Clarke questioned her.   
”I just noticed that you work a lot harder than before…I just wanted to make sure you’re not drowning”   
”No..” Clarke fake laughed and Lexa could tell. ”I’m fine, I wouldn’t work harder than I can handle. It’s just a lot right now”   
”It’s okay to ask for help sometimes you know?” Lexa pushed.   
”If I need help, I’ll ask” Clarke smiled again but it felt forced. ”How are you feeling about the last semester? Are you doing alright?” She tried to change the subject but she was also genuine curious on how Lexa was feeling.   
”I’m okay…with my mom feeling better and everything it’s easier to focus on school so…”   
”That’s great” Clarke smiled for real this time. ”I’m glad she’s fine…and I’m glad you’re doing okay”   
”Thanks” Lexa nodded. ”So…” She was unsure what to say next.   
”You don’t have to worry about me” Clarke helped her. ”I can rest soon”   
”Okay..” Lexa couldn’t argue that. ”Just let me or anyone know if it’s getting to much okay?”   
”Yeah, thank you” Clarke meant it, it was sweet of Lexa to check on her.   
”Have you talked to Bellamy yet?” Lexa looked at her.   
”I think he’s avoiding me again…If I weren’t so busy I would hunt him down and…” Clarke got mad just thinking about him and how he lied.  
”Haven’t seen him much either…not really at all when I think about it”   
”I think he knows that we caught him…but I am not done with him. What he did was nasty”   
”It was” Lexa agreed.   
”I can’t believe that…someone you known for years turn out to be nothing that you believed that they where”   
”People change”   
”They do..” Clarke looked into green eyes, wondering if Lexa was thinking about the same thing she was. About them and how they could change. 

It was hard to read her though. 

***

”10 minutes left and then you have to put down the pen” Clarke’s teacher informed them in the classroom. 

It was a pretty easy test but Clarke couldn’t concentrate, was people breathing loud? Writing to aggressively? Was her heart beating to hard? It was something and her body got filled with stress over the pressure that she had to be done soon. 

It’s been a few days since she spoke to Lexa about how she was feeling, Clarke knew it was getting really bad now and she wanted to let her know. She wanted to be honest with her, show her that she had changed. 

Clarke wondered if she had to see a doctor? Her eyes where flickering and her body felt cold even if she was sweaty. She had to grab the table, feel something to concentrate on something else - or focus on her breathing. 

”FIVE MINUTES GUYS” Her teacher spoke again, had it already been that long? He just said 10 minutes? Clarke tried to look at her test again and reached for her pen, her hands where shaking and she took another big breath. 

Come on, you can do this - you could do this in your sleep. The test was easy and usually she got this done under twenty minutes. It’s been almost an hour soon and she wasn’t even halfway through. 

”Time!” Clarke could hear loud sighs and chairs dragging to the floor, she looked up and tried to understand what was happening. Her classmates where starting to talk again and the teacher seemed to be collecting everyones test. 

”Clarke?” He looked at her. ”Are you okay?”   
”What?”   
”Your test please” She realized she had to walk up to him to leave it and she used all the strength she had to get to her feet. Once she was standing up the room started to spin and her eyes where flickering again. 

She wasn’t sure what happened next but everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! 
> 
> I hope you like the new chapter! :)
> 
> Take care, as always!


	36. Curfew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up in the hospital.

Clarke adjusted her eyes, her body felt a bit numb and her head was aching a little bit, she was confused.   
”Hey sweetie” She recognized her mothers voice and could suddenly feel her touch on her face.   
”Where am I?” Her voice was raspy.   
”In the hospital…you fainted at school” Abby was speaking calmly as she stroke her head carefully.   
”Oh..” Clarke started to remember what happened in the classroom.   
”Why didn’t you talk to me Clarke…I had no idea about the pressure you where under, you always seemed so strong”   
”I wanted to be strong for you” Clarke admitted, she couldn’t fake it anymore. Since her mother had been working a lot lately it had been easy for Clarke to avoid her mothers gaze, otherwise her mom would’ve known earlier.   
”I’m the adult here Clarke and I want you to quit your job, focus on school only”   
”Mom” Clarke bursted out. ”How are we gonna survive?”   
”That’s my problem!” Abby looked at her serious and shook her head. ”I think it’s fair I can discuss some changes here at the hospital”  
”But - ”  
”No” She interrupted her daughter. ”There is no discussion…I can’t lose you too Clarke” She sighed.   
”You won’t mom” Clarke suddenly saw her mothers pain and felt guilt taking over her body.   
”I love you” Abby kissed her forehead. ”You have some friends here that really wants to see you”   
”But what about my test?” Clarke panicked remembered that she never completed it.  
”Don’t worry, I talked to Kane and he will arrange with the teacher to let you do it again”   
”Okay” Clarke was relieved.   
”But…” Her mother looked at her intense. ”He’s not sure if running for president is the best thing for you right now, considering the circumstances and the pressure you’re under”  
”He can’t take that away from me, if I quit my job I will have more time to focus on school mom” Clarke felt upset, that wasn’t fair. She couldn’t give up everything.   
”It’s not settled but he will discuss that with you next week since you will stay home to rest”   
”What?!” Clarke sat up.   
”Clarke you’re already way ahead of your classmates, you staying home for a week won’t make a difference. It will only give you some time to rest - I can’t believe I have to say this but you’re not allowed to do any studying during this week”   
”Okay, okay” Clarke didn’t wanna argue, her mom was dealing with enough already. ”I’ll rest and I will talk to Kane about this next week”  
”Thank you for not fighting me on this” Her mother smiled a little. ”So do you have enough energy to see your friends or should I tell them you need to rest?”   
”No I wanna see them” Clarke assured her. 

Her mother hugged her before leaving the cramped hospital room, Clarke took the opportunity to drink some water since her throat felt dry and sore. For now she felt fine, she wondered how long she had been asleep. Where was her stuff? She wanted to use her phone right now, Clarke looked around to see if there was a clock on the wall. Luckily there was one behind the bed, it was 19:34 and that meant she had been here for a few hours. 

”Clarke” She recognized Raven’s voice as someone knocked on the door.   
”Come in” Clarke informed her and she was surprised to see so many people entering the room, it was Octavia, Lexa, Anya and even Niylah was there.   
”What are you doing out off bed?” Raven asked her.  
”Looking for my bag” Clarke told her.   
”I got your stuff” Lexa informed her and showed a bag that was around her shoulder, Clarke couldn’t help but think it was the sweetest gesture ever - she was also surprised that all of her friends was here to make sure she was alright. She was a lucky girl.   
”Come on” Octavia threw an arm around Clarke’s shoulder and led her back to the bed.   
”I’m fine guys” Clarke chuckled.   
”Last time you said that you lied” Raven crossed her arms. ”How are you feeling, really?” She sat down on the bed and the others joined her, suddenly she was surrounded in the bed.   
”Right now, honestly I feel fine. Maybe because I had my first good sleep in weeks…but I will make some changes and cut back. I will take care of myself”   
”That’s amazing” Niylah smiled at her. ”I just wanted to make sure you where alright but I actually have to get going. Take care and you know where to find me if you need anything, alright?”   
”Thank you” Clarke smiled at her and all of them watched the girl disappear from the room.  
”That was nice of her” Raven said.   
”A bit surprised to see her but yeah it was” Clarke admitted. ”She always cared a lot about the people around her”   
”She talked to your mother about working as a nurse, for advise” Octavia informed her.   
”That would fit her very well” Clarke smiled at the thought, her ex would actually be the perfect for that.   
”So what’s the plan?” Anya wondered.   
”I’ll quit my job, I have to stay home for a week…doing nothing. I don’t know all the details but yeah..”  
”We’re all here for you kid” Raven smiled at her.   
”Thank you…” Clarke looked nervously at Lexa who didn’t say much. ”Could I actually have a word with Lexa…private?” She looked at her friends who seemed to understand.   
”Of course” Octavia nodded and they all left the room together. 

Clarke watched Lexa for a second, she seemed a bit shy at the moment and she was sitting by her feet. Somehow she felt so far away and once green eyes stared into her blue she felt her body shiver.   
”Are you okay?” Clarke wondered, Lexa felt distance.   
”You’re asking me that?” Lexa shook her head. ”I’m not the one in a hospital bed”   
”When I was in that classroom…and I started to feel my body giving up I couldn’t stop thinking about you”   
”What are you saying?” Lexa seemed curious.  
”I remember thinking that I wanted to tell you, I wanted to let you know I was breaking…You where the first person in my mind”   
”I still don’t know if I understand” Lexa looked at her.   
”I just…I’m sorry if I let you think you weren’t my first choice when you obviously are. These past weeks…when something happened to me, good or bad - the first person I wanted to share that with was you. It’s been weird to not be able to talk to you anymore”   
”Oh…” Lexa took a second to take it all in. ”I’m not sure what to say”   
”You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that.” Clarke tried to calm her, she wasn’t sure if she was overstepping but she just wanted to Lexa know how she cared about her. How sorry she still was to making her ex think she wasn’t her first priority, the way she treated her and hurt her was still haunting Clarke everyday.   
”I’m just glad you’re okay” Lexa breathed. ”You got me worried sick”   
”You should be worried about the campaign instead” Clarke tried to ease the tension with a joke.   
”Oh..” It seemed to work because Clarke could see the brunettes body relax. ”You know…you actually gained a lot of sympathy votes today and took the lead”   
”Yes” Clarke fist bumped the air.   
”You’re such a jerk” Lexa smiled at her now.   
”I know” Clarke shyly smiled back and she moved a little to the side in the bed, it was intentional because she wanted Lexa to lay down next to her.   
”Alright” Lexa noticed and Clarke could see the panic in her eyes. ”I should let you rest”   
”Yeah..” Clarke tried to hide her disappointment.   
”Let me know if there is anything I can do” Lexa stood up.   
”Okay” Clarke nodded, she felt sadness taking over her body. She had to accept that they weren't the way that they used to be.

***

Clarke hated her curfew, she felt absolutely useless laying in bed all day with no plans or tasks for the day. She was starting to lose it, she was bored…really bored. Her friends was in school and even if she could text them it wasn’t the same as actually being with them. 

Staying home meant that she was stuck with her mind and she found herself speaking to herself more than once to think about something else than Lexa. She couldn't forget about the day at the hospital, the brunette had seemed so hurt - or even scared. 

Maybe she fucked up even more, Lexa had absolutely nothing to say about it…Clarke wasn’t sure what she expected but she’s still glad she told her. She was still so in love with Lexa, it was hurtful seeing her everyday knowing it was over. What if Lexa had actually moved on and didn’t know how to tell Clarke. 

Or did she even understand what she was trying to say at the hospital? 

Clarke sighed and rolled over in her bed, she needed to do something…she was even considering to take a shower to waste some time even if she had one earlier this morning. 

Clarke couldn’t wait for this week to be over, to be back in school - talk to Kane and convince him to stay in the campaign. It wasn’t long until summer break now and with all the free time she would have now - she was gonna use it to win the president role. It was more important than ever now, considering her mother won’t let her help with the extra job anymore. 

Hopefully everything would work out. 

***

Lexa sighed at she just got home from school and closed the door behind her, her house was suddenly always filled with service people now. Cleaners, gardeners, decorators - and some she had absolutely no idea what they where hired for. Some days she found a someone opening the door for her at the entrance.

”Hi darling” Her mother yelled from the kitchen. ”Would you like some hot chocolate?”   
”Hi mom” Lexa greeted her and dropped her bag on the floor.   
”Young lady?” Becca looked down and crossed her arms.   
”Sorry” Lexa picked it up again and quickly put it on a chair instead. ”I will bring it to my room soon”   
”Okay” Her mom accepted that. ”So how was your day?”   
”Boring” Lexa told her, school had been extra dull without a certain blonde. The school was actually not the same without Clarke and she had been the topic of the week. So many people cared for her - she would fit the president role very well.   
”Have you talked to Clarke?” Her mother knew about it as well.   
”No…not since the hospital” Lexa grabbed the cup her mom was reaching out for her and smiled at the smell of hot chocolate. Her mom was the best at making it.   
”Why?” Her mom sat down at the kitchen table and Lexa moved her bag to another chair to sit in front of her.   
”We left things weird I guess…I wanna text her but” Lexa shrugged. ”I don’t know”   
”What happened?”   
”She said that she miss talking to me because I’m on her mind 24/7…like I’m the first person she thinks about when something happens”   
”Oh…” Her mother put down her cup. ”She’s still in love with you?” She tried to understand.   
”I don’t know…I didn’t say anything, I panicked and left” Lexa admitted.   
”Why is that?”   
”Maybe she meant it in a friendly way?”   
”Not even you believe that” Her mom shook her head. ”The two of you had your fairs off up and downs but it seemed like you both had some time to think about it and heal…what you have to decide now is if it’s worth another try”   
”I don’t wanna get hurt again” Lexa took another sip from the hot chocolate and felt it warm up her body.   
”You know…I have gone through a lot and I can assure you that, if something scares you it’s worth fighting for”   
”Maybe you’re right…” Lexa looked up and her mother smiled at her. 

Lexa needed to talk to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! <3
> 
> I hope you have a lovely holiday even due to the circumstances, remember you're not alone in this. 
> 
> Let me know what you think about my new chapter and I hope all of you get to eat so much food that you explode.
> 
> Haha, take care! :)


	37. Campaign cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is back in school

Clarke noticed how everyone was staring at her, she passed out in middle of class so she shouldn’t be surprised - still it annoyed her. She wasn’t fragile or broken, she rested for a week and she actually felt stronger. She honestly wasn’t to sad about quitting her job either, it’s not like she loved being a waitress. She had some fun times there and some decent colleagues but that was it, other than that it was just an income. 

It was her first day back and she was eager to be social again, she missed seeing people and especially her friends. Clarke wasn’t early today though, she slept in and arrived at the same time as most of her classmates. 

”You’re glowing!” Octavia was even there before her.   
”Hey” Clarke smiled and reached for a hug, she needed human contact.   
”How are you feeling?” She asked into the hug.  
”More like me” Clarke told her. ”I feel rested”   
”Great news” Octavia smiled at that. ”Did you notice the polls?” She looked at the screen and Clarke had actually not looked at it yet, usually she couldn’t stop looking at them. That must be improvement right?  
”Oh..” She noticed that Lexa was in the lead again. ”Didn’t last for long”   
”It’s still very even” Octavia rushed.  
”With all the extra time I will have now…I need to something drastic” Clarke seemed to think. ”I hope you and Raven want to help me”   
”Of course we will” Octavia nodded. ”Do you have something in mind?”   
”Maybe an event? We can bake and invite some students, talk and discuss the future for this school”   
”You want to give them free stuff?” Octavia chuckled.  
”It’s hard enough to keep them interested in this…if we have something to offer it might go smoother”   
”I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, Raven does some killer cookies”   
”She does” Clarke smirked. 

***

Lexa took a sip from her water bottled and tried to be discreet as she was starring at Clarke in the cafeteria. She was at her old table with Anya and Luna while her ex was with her friends. She hadn’t talked to her since the hospital and she couldn’t help but be curious - was Clarke feeling better? 

Suddenly blue eyes locked with green and Lexa wasn’t sure if she was gonna look away or not but she was frozen. Clarke smiled and waved at her and Lexa awkwardly smiled back, that wasn’t very smooth. 

She panicked even more when she noticed that Clarke decided to walk up to her, she couldn’t stop looking at her as she was getting closer. 

”Hey” Clarke casually sat down. ”It’s been a minute”   
”Hey girl” Anya smiled.  
”How are you feeling?” Luna wondered and Lexa was tongue tied.   
”Better…” Clarke nodded. ”Feels good to be back though”   
”Only Clarke Griffin misses school” Anya laughed and Luna joined her.   
”Well…just wanted to say hi I guess” Clarke noticed how awkward Lexa was and stared at her for a few seconds to see if she would say anything.   
”Good to see you again” Luna tried to save the situation.   
”Alright then…” Clarke decided to stand up again. ”See you around…” She looked at Lexa again and the brunette gained some courage to look back at her. ”Bye”   
”Bye” Lexa was finally able to speak and the only words she could manage was that? Fuck…Clarke was already on her way back to her table.   
”What the fuck was that?” Anya pushed her lightly.  
”I panicked” Lexa hid her face in her hands.   
”You always know how to talk to ladies” Luna chuckled. ”This was new”  
”I don’t know what’s going on with me” Lexa wined. ”She must think I’m so rude”  
”Or weird” Anya laughed.   
”Oh gosh” Lexa looked at the blonde again, she was busy with her friends now - probably talking about what just happened. 

***

For the first time Clarke felt like the school day never ended but she finally found herself gathering her stuff from her locker. Being lazy for a week might have affecting her a little, her only focus today had been her friends. 

Her weird encounter with Lexa had also ruined her day a little, she had barely been able to look at her - and worst part - not even talk to her. Had she really freaked her out that much? 

”Clarke” Speaking off…she turned around and Lexa was standing next to her.   
”She speaks” She teased and it made the brunette shyly smile.  
”I’m sorry about earlier…I don’t know what happened”   
”No…I should apologize, I shouldn't have pushed you into a corner like that…”   
”You didn’t” Lexa cut her off. ”I wasn’t prepared for that I guess…and I panicked”   
”Giiirl….” Clarke smiled at her. ”I know”   
”Was it really that obvious?” Lexa frowned.   
”I mean…you almost ran out of that room”   
”I just…I’m still not sure if I’m ready” Lexa sighed.   
”It’s okay” Clarke closed her locker and could focus on the brunette in front of her even more. ”I don’t want to pressure you… I just needed you to know. It might have been bad timing and out of no where but I just couldn’t stop thinking about it”   
”I’m glad you did” Lexa hushed her. ”Maybe we could try to hang out this week?”   
”I’d love that” Clarke sounded excited and smiled big, she got a flashback from how Ashley had been acting around Lexa.   
”Okay…I’ll text you then?” Lexa smiled now.   
”Yeah” Clarke couldn’t help but smile as for herself when the brunette walked away, somehow it felt like they where heading to the right direction, even if it was baby steps. 

***

Lexa peeked her head into one of the larger classrooms that was currently filled with students stuffing their faces with cookies and other sweets. Clarke was having some sort of event and she couldn’t help but to be curious. She looked at the screens to get an overview of the polls and was relieved to see that she was still in the lead. 

”Are you sneaking on your opponent?” Ashley made her jump back and Lexa awkwardly laughed.   
”Umm…I guess” She admitted.   
”Doesn’t seem to help” Ashley looked at the tv-screens as well.   
”Maybe they will vote once their done eating like they have never seen food before”   
”Don’t worry…” Ashley smiled at her. ”Anyway, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever”   
”Oh…” Lexa had been avoiding her, mostly because she didn’t want her to think that they where something more than friends. ”Busy I guess”   
”Of course…well” Ashley looked at her nervous and Lexa swallowed. ”I don’t know…I thought we had fun at the dance and then you’re sort off ghosted me”   
”I’m sorry…” Lexa knew this was coming. ”I didn’t mean too…we did have fun it’s just that…I have feelings for someone else” She was nervous for her reaction.   
”That explains a lot…well” Ashley shrugged. ”It sucks but I mean you can’t help who you fall for” She smiled at her now and Lexa breathed out in relief.   
”No…” She smiled at her. ”Thank you for being understanding”   
”Of course…So can you don’t have to ignore me anymore” Ashley chuckled as she winked at her. ”Don’t be a stranger, okay?”   
”I won’t” Lexa smiled at her as she walked away and turned her head towards the classroom again, Clarke was starring at her. Damn, did she think that she was flirting with Ashley now? They where on good terms at the moment, they did hang out the other day - it was low-key, taking a walk around Lexa’s neighbor hood. It had been her idea, them being alone in either of their bedrooms would’ve been too tempting. 

”Do you wanna come inside?” Clarke had walked up to her and Lexa snapped back to reality.   
”Naah…this is your thing” She told her.   
”At least grab a cookie” Clarke handed her one that she had brought from the table once she had seen Lexa. ”Raven made them, they’re incredible”   
”Thanks” Lexa took it from her hand and they both froze by their touch. ”Sorry…” She shyly said and took a deep breath, it was so strange for them to act like this.   
”Don’t apologize” Clarke assured her.   
”So…” Lexa needed to change subject. ”Not long now until the results, are you nervous?”   
”Yeah…but either way this school will have a great president” Clarke smiled now.   
”That’s true” Lexa nodded. ”What will your little brain focus on once it’s over?” She chuckled knowing damn well Clarke would get to restless without any project ahead of her.   
”I don’t know…nothing” Clarke switched her mood and Lexa wasn’t prepared for that answer.   
”Isn’t there something you wanna do?”   
”Enjoy summer break actually, I just want to enjoy life for a second - without any pressure or duties if that makes sense”   
”It makes perfect sense” Lexa was glad about that actually, her ex needed a break.   
”What about you?”   
”Oh me?” Lexa smirked. ”Once I win I will invite the school to a huge party in my mansion, get wasted and then accidentally buy a ticket to the Caribbean” She tried to make Clarke smile and it seemed to work.   
”Sounds like the Lexa I met in the beginning of this year” She laughed. ”Any chance you will get a ticket for the loser? To make her feel better?” She teased back.  
”Depends on how drunk I am” Lexa winked and both off them laughed as they locked eyes, as they calmed down either of them was able to break it - it’s like neither of them wanted to destroy the moment.   
”Umm…” Clarke cleared her throat. ”Well, I should head back, sure you don’t want to come inside?”   
”Yeah, I need to get some books from the library” Lexa told her. ”But enjoy”   
”Alright…” Clarke still wasn’t moving.   
”So..?” Lexa wasn’t sure if she should start walk away or not.  
”I’m sorry to ask this but…I saw you talk with Ashley, are you guys…umm?” Clarke struggled.   
”Don’t worry, we’re just friends” Lexa told her. ”And she knows I have…” she stopped herself, was it weird to say that?  
”She knows what?” Clarke wondered.   
”She knows I have feelings for someone else” Lexa admitted.   
”Oh..” It made Clarke a bit shy and she seemed to think for a second. ”Do you think we’re gonna be okay?”   
”I hope so” Lexa nodded.   
”I hope so too” Clarke smiled at her now. ”You look great today by the way” She smiled wider before heading back to the crowded area and Lexa couldn’t help but look down at her outfit. She was wearing black sweats because she had been to lazy this morning too care, a huge hoodie and a messy bun. Clarke complimented this look and Lexa smiled to herself before heading towards the library. 

It wasn’t long now until the campaign would end, the semester would be over and one of them would be announced president. She wondered how the outcome of that would be - it felt like they both could handle losing but what if it put even more pressure on their relationship? 

Lexa was nervous about the last weeks off school, a lot could change - for better or for worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the holiday wishes! 
> 
> I hope you had an great christmas...can't believe 2020 is over soon?! What a crap year.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter - we are coming to an end. 
> 
> I guess I won't see you until next year (I can't believe I said that lol) but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! <3


	38. We have a winner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The students are busy voting today.

Lexa took a deep breath as she entered the school, it was already crowded but as usual people noticed her when she walked the hallways. She greeted some of them with nods or smiles until she finally dared to look at the screens. They where currently black because the voting would start today. 

”GOOD MORNING STUDENTS” Kane’s voice echoed in the speakers and Lexa knew what was coming. ”I would like to announce that today is voting day and that it is mandatory to vote, if you have any struggles with your app please go to the library and place your vote on one off the computers” He took a breath. ”I would like to personally thank Lexa and Clarke for their great job this year, best off luck to both of you!” 

Lexa was frozen as she listened to the message and noticed Clarke looking more nervous than ever as Kane’s voice filled the hallways. She decided to walk up to her. 

”So today is the day” Lexa could tell Clarke was freaking out.   
”It is” She nodded.   
”Good luck” Lexa smiled at her now.   
”May the best man win” Clarke reached out her hand with a smile now as well.  
”I think you mean woman” Lexa winked.   
”Of course” Clarke shook her head. 

”The voting will start once this message is over…” Kane was still speaking.   
”I can’t hear this” Clarke shrugged. ”See you later?”   
”Sure…” Lexa watched as the blonde rushed away. 

This however, wasn’t the mayor thing that Lexa panicked about at the moment. She had a meeting scheduled with Kane in about ten minutes. She had no idea what it was about and she hated being so clueless. 

Kane’s office was further up in the building so Lexa dragged her body through not one, or two but three staircases before she reached the familiar waiting room. She gently knocked on the door, a bit out off breath and he almost opened immediately by the sound.   
”Lexa” He welcomed her.   
”Kane” She was ready to sit down to rest, the chair in front of his desk looked tempting.   
”Sit down, please…” He walked around the desk to get to his side and she gladly sat down.   
”So what is this about, am I in trouble?” Lexa wondered.   
”Well…I called you in today because your father has some concerns about your grades” Kane cleared his troth, she could tell he thought this was a difficult to talk about.  
”My grades are fine?” She questioned him.  
”According to Mr.Woods, with all of his generosity to the school he thinks that it’s not acceptable”   
”I’m not sure I understand”   
”You’re a good student Lexa, you are” Kane assured her. ”But I guess I invited you here today to see if we can schedule some arrangement for next year, extra study time, private help or something else you would like to - ”  
”Kane, this is absurd?” Lexa was getting annoyed, sure she didn’t have straight A’s but she was not far from that. ”Did my sister have this meeting as well?” She crossed her arms.   
”Umm…” Kane got nervous. ”No, your father called about you”   
”I’m running for president, I have good grades, I don’t skip class and he is concerned about me?!” Lexa scoffed, knowing damn well that her sister had way worse grades than her.   
”Like I said, you’re a good student Lexa and I know you’re focused on the campaign right now…”   
”He’s just never proud of me, I’m never fucking enough for him” She swore.  
”Language” Kane said calmly. ”How is everything at home?”   
”With all my respect, I don’t wanna talk about that right now. Can I go?” Lexa wasn’t having this, she needed to talk to her father.   
”You’re excused” He nodded.

Lexa didn’t care about all the stairs to get to her floor this time around, she was to upset and got even more angry when her dad didn’t pick up his damn phone.   
”You look pissed” Anya laughed at her as she finally reached her locker.   
”I am” Lexa accidentally slammed her locker on the one next to her, the loud noise made people turn around.   
”Why?” Anya ignored the scene.   
”Dad forced me to have a meeting with Kane about my grades, apparently they are not good enough for him”  
”Are you joking?” Her sister scoffed and crossed her arms. ”He is unbelievable”   
”And he doesn’t answer my calls…does he even know the campaign ends today?”   
”I don’t know kiddo…but you know it’s bullshit right?”  
”I’m just so fucking tired of being invisible in his eyes…” Lexa sighed and grabbed her book, she closed the locker carefully.   
”I don’t know why he’s like this, do you want me to talk to him?” Anya wondered.   
”I will…” Lexa shook her head.   
”You’re in the lead at least…” Anya looked at the screen and Lexa turned her head.   
”It’s 1071 votes to count…only” Lexa had to focus her eyes. ”183 students has voted so far”   
”But still” Anya tried to cheer her up.   
”Fucking hell…” Lexa looked at the time, she was about to be late for her next class. 

***

Clarke usually didn’t bite her nails but today she was, it was the nerves and she tried to distract herself. It was even, too even almost but she was finally in the lead. 

”Clarke…” Raven shook her arm. ”Relax” They where currently eating lunch at their usual table.   
”Yeah….” She took a deep breath when she spotted Bellamy walking towards them. ”Fuck”  
”No way” Raven noticed it too.  
”Hey” He greeted them awkwardly and they both looked at him with anger in their eyes.   
”What do you want Bell?” Octavia looked at his brother, still deeply disappointed over his behavior.   
”Can I talk to you Clarke?” He looked at her.   
”Fine” She stood up, at least it was a distraction. 

She followed him out from the cafeteria and he lead them to an empty study room and closed the door behind him, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder how her and Lexa could’ve missed this one when they where sneaking around. 

”Are you nervous about today?” He tried to small talk.  
”Cut to the chase” Clarke spitted.   
”Listen…I just wanted to apologize for everything, I know it won’t change anything but I do feel bad for the way I acted”   
”Damn right it won’t change anything”   
”I don’t know what got into me…that’s not me you know that”   
”I thought I knew you” Clarke shook her head. ”And what? You decided you where sorry weeks after it happened?”   
”No of course not, I just wanted to clear my mind - I regretted it at the dance already and I was ashamed”   
”Good” Clarke was cold.   
”I miss you Clarke…and the gang. So much has changed and you may not forgive me now but do you think there is any chance we could go back to normal?”   
”So you suggest that we should forget everything? Are you gonna ignore your feelings for me? Am I gonna ignore that you lied and hurt a person I really care about?”   
”That’s not what I meant…What can I do to make things right?”   
”I don’t know Bellamy…right now I can’t even look at you”   
”Alright…” Bellamy looked sad. ”Just know that I care about you Clarke and I never meant to hurt you…I was an asshole and I probably don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m gonna try”   
”Okay” Clarke didn’t know what to say, she hated the fact that she missed him too but she couldn’t forget the way he acted. ”That’s all?”   
”I guess…” He sighed and Clarke was quick to get out of the room, it was hard to breath in there. 

***

”Have you voted yet?” Clarke joked as they entered the dressing room that lead to the big assembly hall.  
”Duh…” Lexa lied, she hadn’t voted yet and she wasn’t sure why.   
”I think I was the first voter…so I didn’t have to look at it later…I tried to ignore it all day” Clarke rambled like she usually did when she was nervous.   
”It’s been really even” Lexa looked at herself in the mirror and corrected her shirt.   
”Yeah…come here” Clarke was speaking low and Lexa turned around so that Clarke could help her with the collar. ”You look great” Clarke smiled as she rested her hands on Lexa’s shoulder once she was done and it suddenly got harder to breath.  
”Can’t believe it’s almost over” Lexa tried to distract herself.   
”It’s been a ride” Clarke agreed and moved her hands and it made the breathing easier. ”I’m really glad I got the chance to get to know you this year though”   
”Same!” Lexa nodded and loud cheering made both girls turn their head, the student’s where going crazy out there.   
”All the slow voters…dragging it out for the tension…It’s killing me” Clarke started pacing the room. For now they where just waiting for the result, it was only a few votes left and Lexa knew she had to use the app as well.   
”What would happen if any votes are missing?” Lexa wondered.   
”They can track who hasn’t voted yet…They can’t see who you choose but they have statics if you’ve done it or not” Clarke explained.   
”Oh..” Lexa sighed and reached for her back pocket, her phone was there. 

She was trying to enjoy the day but the meeting with Kane this morning had totally destroyed her mood. Her father had still not called her back and for now she was just trying to stay calm - she could win this and scream it to his face if she wanted. 

If she lost the campaign…would he even notice? Does he even remembers that’s she running for president? She didn’t understand why he was so hard on her, especially when Anya did way worse than her but he seemed to turn the other cheek to that. 

Lexa didn’t wanna bash her sister she was just trying to understand why he treated her like this? It didn’t make any sense to her.

”Wow…we are so close” Clarke was biting her nails.   
”You know…Whatever happens you’re gonna be okay right?” Lexa tried to calm her.   
”I survived worse I guess…It would just be so nice to be able to breath out for a second you know”   
”I get that” Lexa agreed.   
”I’m glad we’re being mature about this” Clarke looked at her.   
”Of course” Lexa agreed.   
”Do you know who came to see me today?” Clarke seemed to remember something.  
”No?”   
”Bellamy…” Clarke scoffed. ”With what he called an apology”   
”Really…now?” Lexa looked at her surprised.  
”Well at least he knows he screwed up”   
”Did you forgive him?” Lexa was curious.   
”What do you think?” Clarke smirked at her.   
”I thought so” Lexa was still angry with him but it’s been a while now and she couldn’t care to waste anymore energy on hating him.   
”You know what I wanna do once this is over?” Clarke changed the subject.  
”Huh?” Lexa was confused.   
”You asked me more and I said nothing…” Clarke reminded her.   
”Oh yeah”   
”If you accept, I would like to take you out on a date. No more pressure from the campaign, just us and a summer break in front of us”   
”A date huh?” Lexa liked the idea.   
”Think about it” Clarke smiled at her nervously ”I’m gonna go see Kane real quick”  
”Okay” Lexa saw her opportunity and grabbed her phone, she quickly put in her username and password and she gasped once she saw the numbers. 

It was only one vote separating them, one vote that was hers - how the heck could they be so even? Lexa slowly panicked and tried to gather her breathing, she had so much power in one vote. The conversation she had with Kane flashed through her mind and her fathers disappointed face, still she couldn’t shake thinking back over the year she had with Clarke and how much this meant to her. 

She was still so pissed about her dad though and she really wanted this to prove him wrong, Lexa took another deep breath and slightly touched her phone. It only took seconds before the crowd got loud again and started applauding. 

”WE HAVE A WINNER” Kane yelled in the mice and Lexa stood up with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year folks!
> 
> Can't believe we have a winner after all this time????
> 
> If you liked the chapter please leave a comment and we can chat! 
> 
> Take care! :)


	39. Winning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out who won the election

Clarke eyes flickered, she was surprised and she turned her head it felt like everything was in slow-motion. Lexa was smiling at her and clapping her hands - did she actually win? 

”CLARKE GRIFFIN EVERYONE!!!” Kane said loudly and she could hear the audience applaud even louder. Why didn’t she feel happy about this? ”Come on up her Clarke!” Kane welcomed her to the stage.  
”Wow” She breathed in the microphone she was given. ”Thank you everyone!”  
”Anything you wanna say?” He smiled and she nodded as she once again looked back at the brunette who was giving her thumbs up.  
”Hi” Clarke started talking. ”First of all, thank you for this year and your dedication in this campaign. I am so grateful for you support…” She took a few breaths, she thought she would be overwhelmed by happiness but it didn’t feel right. ”I am however afraid that I cannot accept the title…” The students gasped at the announcement.  
”Clarke?” Kane looked at her confused.  
”Unless Lexa will do it with, look at the numbers. It’s a fair tie and I wouldn’t want anybody else but her on my side. Leading you guys together with a 50/50 role.”  
”Umm…” Kane cleared his throat. ”It doesn’t work like that”  
”CLEXA!” Raven yelled somewhere in the assemble hall, a ship name she had came up with in the beginning when they started dating, she couldn’t help but smile about it. ”CLEXA” The Latina repeated herself and suddenly people started to join in.  
”Okay calm down everyone” Kane tried but the students where now standing up shouting Clexa loudly over and over.  
”Come on” Clarke looked back at Lexa and as she walked out it got even wilder in there.  
”What are you doing?” Lexa whispered into her ear.  
”Together” Clarke smiled at her and carefully lingered their fingers together, the brunette welcomed her hand and as the loud cheering continued they reached their lingered hands to the air.  
”Settle down everyone” Kane got serious and it got calmer. ”I suppose there is a first thing for everything…If you girls are willing to share the title you have my blessing” He seemed to actually like the idea and Clarke looked at Lexa with happiness in her eyes.  
”What the heck” Lexa laughed and Clarke couldn’t help but throw her arms around her ex to celebrate the win.  
”Are you okay with this?” Clarke whispered into the hug.  
”Of course” Lexa smiled and lifted Clarke from the ground to spin her around. ”We’re making history baby!!” The scene on the stage made people standing up to applaud, everyone seemed to be satisfied with the decision. 

***

Once everything settled down and people where ready to head home - or partying to celebrate that they finally had a result Clarke found herself not being able to take her eyes of Lexa. She looked so happy and filled with joy, the smile never disappeared from her face. They where currently celebrating at Lexa’s mansion, her parents was apparently away on a trip somewhere. Clarke wasn’t sure where, she missed knowing every detail off Lexa’s life. 

The music filled every huge room, it was students hanging around in every corner and they all congratulated her as she passed by. Clarke was happy too, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulder - she had realized up on the stage that her biggest worry hadn’t been the scholarship after all. In the end it wasn’t what she cared about the most, it was Lexa. 

She didn’t wanna be a president alone, knowing how hard Lexa had fought for this as well - how much it meant to her. If Kane hadn’t accepted the two off them sharing the job, she wouldn’t have been able to accept it. 

Clarke had been so anxious these past weeks, worrying about the campaign and how it would affect her future but she had been blind to see that it was an excuse. She was worried about her future with Lexa, if the campaign ended and this was over - it meant that they suddenly didn’t have that in common anymore. They could’ve easily slipped away, getting back to their old patterns and drifted apart. 

They where still friends but lately the campaign has been the only thing keeping them together, a chance for Clarke to see Lexa and talk to her. Once they had a moment together they talked about it as well, it’s like they where scared off talking about them. 

She didn’t wanna push the brunette either, she tried and Lexa freaked out. 

So even if she had won with a high score, it wouldn’t have been the same. Being the president alone would’ve only reminded her off the time she spent with Lexa and all the fun they had. Clarke had no idea what the future would look like but she couldn’t be happier sharing this with the brunette, even if it was like friends. 

”Hey!!” Lexa greeted her a bit tipsy already. ”Feel like I haven’t seen you all evening”  
”Been all over the place” Clarke informed her as she started making herself a drink at desk next to them, it was filled with cups, soda and alcohol.  
”I can’t believe you did that” Lexa chuckled and leaned against the wall as she was preparing the drink.  
”Want one?” Clarke wondered and the brunette nodded. ”It was a tie I would say…and I couldn’t be more excited about doing this with you”  
”What if we disagree on something?” Lexa teased, was she flirting?  
”Oh…” Clarke smiled as she handed Lexa a cup filled with a drink now. ”I guess we have to look the door to our new little office and discuss it until we agree”  
”And if that doesn’t work?” Lexa pushed it.  
”I remember a few tricks you used to play” Clarke stepped closer and Lexa smirk was still at place but her eyes seemed hungrier.  
”Like me kissing your neck or biting your lip?”  
”If you do that I promise to rip your fucking clothes off” Clarke teased back and the girls where inches away from each others lips.  
”CLEXA!!” Anya and Raven interrupted the moment and they quickly jumped away from each other, they had been caught up in a moment.  
”Always…” Lexa mumbled under her breath.  
”Hey” Clarke greeted them. ”You want some drinks?”  
”HECK YEAH!” Raven smiled big and Clarke turned around to prepare some more drinks for her friends, she also wanted to hide the fact that she was probably blushing right now. That conversation with Lexa had been unexpected, they hadn’t been like this in forever.  
”Thanks girl” Anya smiled once she got her drink. ”We will leave you too it” She winked and the couple disappeared again.  
”Come on” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand and dragged her out from the crowded area, she knew the brunette was leading her to the roof. 

It was as breathtaking as she remembered, but even more so once the stars was filling the skyline. That day when they shared a joint here felt so far away, like a different life almost. 

”I still can’t get over this view” Clarke breathed out.  
”I love it too” Lexa agreed as she sat down to get herself more comfortable.  
”So why did you drag me here?” Clarke was hopeful as she sat down next to her.  
”I wanted you for myself for a second” Lexa got shy.  
”Can I be honest with you now?” She wondered.  
”Always” Lexa nodded.  
”You know…I still remember the feeling when we first started talking” Clarke smiled to herself, the butterflies she had in her stomach had been something else. ”And how it feels now… the hardest thing is not talking to someone you used to talk to everyday…” She continued. ”You reminded me what it feels to like to love, you made me fall in love and losing you has been…my biggest mistake…and maybe I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn’t even love myself, and for a second it was like I could feel the timing clicking together, finally pieces falling into place” She took a quick breath and looked at Lexa, she was focused on every word she said.  
”What are you trying to say?” She carefully asked, Clarke knew she was a bit all over the place.  
”Well…relationship fail because people take their own insecurities and try to twist them into their partner’s flaws…in our case I forced all my baggage on you and just expected you to understand…”  
”We both made mistakes Clarke…” Lexa sighed.  
”You know…I find myself just thinking of you and then I begin to wonder for how long you’ve been on my mind, then it occurs to me - since I met you, you’ve never left”  
”Clarke..” Lexa smiled even more shyly at her.  
”I guess I just wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens - I’ll always think of you and the time we spent together as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again if I had the chance…”  
”I thought we where talking about giving it another try?” Lexa asked.  
”I just…I hate not being able to with you. I just want you, that’s it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you Lexa. I’m not perfect, I’ll never be…but I do love you with all of my heart. I’m so freaking in love with you. I could scream it out loud, I love you Lexa Woods” Clarke looked into green eyes, scared of the words that just came out of her mouth but she had been dying to say them for so long. She loved Lexa.  
”Are you done with your love confession?” Lexa smiled wide and Clarke nodded nervously. ”I love you to silly” The words made Clarke’s body feel electric and as the brunette grabbed her neck to collide their lips together Clarke couldn’t help but feel complete. The brunette was kissing her so gently and it was probably the most romantic they had ever been, she didn’t want the moment to end.  
”Are we gonna do this right this time?” Lexa wiped some hair away from Clarke’s face and gazed into her eyes.  
”Yes” Clarke was getting teary, she wasn’t sad - it was tears off happiness to finally have Lexa look at her the way she used too.  
”Aww, baby” Lexa used the same hand to carefully catch the tear falling on her cheek.  
”God I love you” Clarke had to say it again.  
”And I love you, all off you” Lexa leaned in for another kiss and Clarke threw her arms around her neck to push the girl closer. ”That means I’m not just here for the pretty parts, I’m here no matter what” Lexa breathed into the kiss. 

Lexa crawled into Clarke’s lap and the blonde threw her arms around her, ready to hold her forever. She wasn’t gonna screw this up again. 

***

The next day Lexa woke up with Clarke all over her, it put a smile on her face and she remembered how the blonde nervously confessed her love last night. The smile didn’t last too long once she noticed her headache. How much did they drink last night? Last thing she remember was getting off the roof to join Anya and Raven for some beer pong…that Raven replaced with some surprise tequila shots. That explained the way she was feeling and the memory loss.

”WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!” Her dads voice suddenly filled the huge mansion and Lexa froze in panic, why where they home already? ”LEXA?!” The noise made Clarke’s body shift but she was still heavily sleeping.  
”Clarke you have to wake up!” Lexa shook her body.  
”Mom?” Clarke was clearly half asleep.  
”ANYA?!” Her dads voice got closer.  
”CLARKE” Lexa tried again and she finally got the blonde to wake up.  
”What?” She looked at her confused.  
”My parents are home!”  
”Shit” Clarke understood and sat up immediately while Lexa flew to her drawer, the house was a mess and the last thing her dad needed to see was her with another naked girl in her bed.  
”Hurry up” Lexa was stressed and threw on the nearest clothes she could find and as she looked back and Clarke finished pulling her pants up the door swung open.  
”Lexa, you have no idea how upset I am right now!” He looked at his daughter and she couldn’t help but too look back at Clarke who looked like she wanted to sink through the floor.  
”I can explain dad” She tried.  
”Not another word, my office NOW!” He closed the door again.  
”Fuck…” She swore.  
”What should I do?” Clarke was stressed as well.  
”Get ready or we’re gonna be late for school, just grab whatever you need” Lexa told her before rushing after her dad. 

The door to his office was wide open and he was sitting in his chair waiting for her, looking extremely angry.  
”A party on a school night?” He shook his head. ”Do you have any idea how worried we where?”  
”What?”  
”Your mom and I decided to leave our phones to focus on us and when we got back I had tons off missed calls from you -”  
”Well that’s because - ”  
”And when I try to call you back you didn’t answer and now I know why, you where drunk and partying with your friends while me and your mom jumped on a plane scared for your life!”  
”I didn’t know…” Lexa got surprised that it was the reason for them to cut their trip short.  
”This is so freaking irresponsible off you” He continued.  
”What about Anya?” Lexa couldn’t help herself and she immediately felt like she was five again trying to blame her sister as well.  
”Your sister isn’t here is she? Where the hell is Anya anyway?”  
”I don’t know” Lexa lied, she was obviously with Raven.  
”I’ll deal with her later”  
”Do you even care about why I called?” Lexa sat down in the chair in front of him and looked him in the eyes. ”Or why we celebrated last night?”  
”Why?” He asked her.  
”You sent me to freaking Kane? For bad grades? I am one off the best students in that school and I am NOT in need for extra help, what the hell was that all about?”  
”You can always do better” He said firmly and that made Lexa’s mood switch, now she was mad as well.  
”Why am I never good enough for you?” She questioned him. ”What day was it yesterday?”  
”Thursday”  
”Yeah but what happened in school?” She pushed him.  
”I don’t know, what?” He shrugged.  
”The student body president was announced yesterday, the campaign I been working on all year that you have totally ignored” She crossed her arms. ”And you know what? I could’ve won - I was the last too vote and we where at a 50/50 insanely enough….but I decided to vote for Clarke instead because the only reason why I even decided to run was because off you”  
”Lexa…” Her father relaxed a bit.  
”But you haven’t cared at all and when you sent me to Kane yesterday I realized it didn’t matter…I would rather see Clarke happy because for her it meant everything”  
”Is that what you think? That I don’t care?”  
”It’s like you don’t even see me and when you do you always complain - but you don’t treat Anya the same. She always get off the hook, you never nag on her”  
”Hey” Her father stood up and walked to her side off the desk to crouch down. ”I’m sorry I made you feel that way…You’ve always been so strong and independent that I might forgotten that you’re still a teenager, you never needed my help growing up and I admired you for that. I tried to push Anya for so long but it only made us drift apart and in the end we couldn’t even be in the same room because the only thing we did was arguing. I decided to let her be and it made our relationship easier…and I didn’t wanna lose her.” He sighed. ”You have so much potential Lexa, you have goals and dreams and I just wanted to push you too your limits. I understand I’ve been distant this year, it’s been a rough one and I’ve done my mistakes and handled situations recklessly. You’ve been through so much and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, I am so proud of you Lexa.”  
”It’s a weird way off showing it…” Lexa mumbled but she was actually just trying to take it all in, what he was saying right now was the words she’s been dying to hear for what felt like forever.  
”I’m sorry sweetie…I’ll talk to Kane and I will work on being a better dad for you and Anya. I love you so much and the last thing I want you to think is that I don’t care about you. Because I do, my family means the world to me”  
”Okay…” Lexa looked at him, he looked genuinely sorry.  
”Come here” He opened up his arms and Lexa leaned into the hug, it felt like she was talking to her dad again - the man she had missed so much.  
”So do you wanna know why we celebrated even if I lost?” She asked into the hug and he nodded and looked at her. ”Yesterday we made some new history - me and Clarke being the first people to share the title, she didn’t accept unless I did it with her and Kane agreed”  
”That’s my girl!” He smiled and hugged her again. 

After explaining a bit more to her dad about the results and last night he was definitely calmer and Lexa left his office feeling satisfied. Her father was not the easiest to understand and they never had a normal relationship really but knowing that he was proud off her was all she needed to hear. It felt like he felt bad about it as well, regretting how he hadn’t paying enough attention to her. It wasn’t ideal but for them it was a big step. 

”Are you done?” She entered her room again and Clarke was waiting on her bed.  
”How did it go?” She stood up as soon as she saw her walk in.  
”I’ll tell you on the way, we’re gonna be late - let’s go!”  
”Umm…” Clarke cleared her throat. ”Are you sure you’re going in that outfit?”  
”What?” Lexa turned around and looked at herself in the mirror, she was wearing her pants inside out and a shirt that said ”Sundays are for snuggles” that she got from her mom years ago. ”Oh for fuck sake” She threw off her outfit and grabbed some black clothes instead. ”How can you be this calm? We’re gonna be late the day after the election?” She asked Clarke.  
”We can still make it” Clarke smiled and got closer, she wrapped her arms around the brunette and Lexa stared at her confused, they didn’t really have time for this. ”I’m so freaking happy how can I be worried about being a few minutes late” She chuckled and leaned in for a kiss.  
”Maybe you’re still drunk…” Lexa raised an eyebrow at Clarke’s suddenly chill behavior.  
”Maybe…” Clarke thought about. ”Maybe you’re right, we better hurry up!”  
”Sounds more like you” Lexa laughed before grabbing Clarke’s hand to rush to her car together. 

It’s been a weird morning but at least she had her girl back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, please let me know in the comments! 
> 
> Our girls are finally back! :')

**Author's Note:**

> I am back with another story, trying this one out and we will see where it takes us. Please let me know if you like the story then I will happily post more! <3
> 
> Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6676rCLKl3A


End file.
